Seventeen - Not the Magazine - Bateseseses Threads!

[HereticHick]

I see the Bates young ladies just took a trip to Florida--to meet up with Tori's beau Bobby I guess. I wish I got to take as many beach vacations as the Bateseseseses do.

[Melissa1977]

What about Kaci? I know some moms need alone time and it's good, but she's only 2 months old. I wonder if Bates are helping Whitney to have free time or just encouraging she to go out in order to have a weak attachment with Kaci so training her gets easier.

Maybe I'm thinking too much and too negative, I know.

[imokit]

Maybe she was nearby and just not in the picture or Zach wanted to parent his kids?

[Bazinga]

1 hour ago, imokit said:

Maybe she was nearby and just not in the picture or Zach wanted to parent his kids?

I'm going to put money on either nearby OR a sisteraunt came and helped Zach (seeing that he does actually work).

I'm going to be honest here though, we see a lot of pictures of Zach and Whitney doing things without their kids (working out, dates, etc.). Nothing wrong with alone time or pursuing personal health, but I'm guessing they utilize Zach's family a lot for helping with their kids. So I wouldn't be surprised if that is also what we see happening here with the beach trip.

[Melissa1977]

2 hours ago, imokit said:

Maybe she was nearby and just not in the picture or Zach wanted to parent his kids?

My husband is very involved with our kids, but I would never leave a 2 months old for a funny weekend with friends. I'm not judging Whitney, she must be overwhelmed and need free time, but it surprises me that such a "godly" SAHM leaves such a tiny baby.  

Don't get me wrong, it's not 1 thing, it's the general picture. Whitney had Kaci and she talks more about working out and dating Zach and going out, than about the baby.  Just looking from outside, it's like she has had a baby doll but she's avoiding to bond with her. 

But of course maybe she took Kaci to Florida and I'm snarking with no reason.

[Bazinga]

Do Zach and Whitney read here? We discuss the vacation for Whitney and questioning why she would leave a 2 month old behind, and then BAM! pic of her and Kaci on instagram. Surprise! Surprise!

[JillyO]

Wow. Whitney bounces back REALLY fast!

 

[theinvisiblegirl]

I've been away from FJ for about a month, but tonight's episode of Bringing Up Bates just called for me to post here.

Kelly, Lawson, and Carlin teaching Josie and Katie to drive... made me cringe so fucking hard. I just couldn't contain myself.

I got my driver's permit a few months ago. 22, was 21 when I got it, and I'm not ashamed in the fact that driving absolutely terrifies me. (I'm working on this because it's not a fun thing to fear.) One of the rules in the DMV manual in the state of Connecticut for anyone with a permit, be it teenagers or adults, is that you can only be in the car with one other people. This minimizes the distraction.

Kelly, Lawson, and Carlin (and probably Josie) all screaming when Katie was driving was what they should use forever to show an example. It seemed like she had only recently gotten her permit, and it was her first time. It was a parking lot of a state park, so there might have been people around. Never mind that she's kind of all over the place with her driving and made quite a lot of potentially dangerous mistakes. I can maybe begin to excuse that. But the screaming of four people was a major distraction.

And don't get me started on how young some of these states let people get their permits. I think the Bates kids and the Duggar kids start driving way too soon. I find driving to be such a serious thing, such a big responsibility, but I feel like many others don't feel that way.

[CharlieInCharge]

I can't speak for the Duggars or Bates families, but I live in a pretty rural area and all the kids around here drive young. They start around 11-12 driving mowers and 4-wheelers, so by the time they are in a car they usually have several years experience with the basic mechanics. It still takes a lot of practice, but they don't have much fear of driving itself. I think the young driving age is also somewhat parent-motivated.  My mom helped me get a car on my sixteenth birthday because (direct quote) 'I'm tired of driving your ass around.' 

 

All that said, there should never be more than one adult driver with at least 5 years experience in the car with a novice driver. Just shut it and let them focus ffs!

 

#75Posts!!1!

[alba]

3 hours ago, theinvisiblegirl said:

I've been away from FJ for about a month, but tonight's episode of Bringing Up Bates just called for me to post here.

Kelly, Lawson, and Carlin teaching Josie and Katie to drive... made me cringe so fucking hard. I just couldn't contain myself.

I got my driver's permit a few months ago. 22, was 21 when I got it, and I'm not ashamed in the fact that driving absolutely terrifies me. (I'm working on this because it's not a fun thing to fear.) One of the rules in the DMV manual in the state of Connecticut for anyone with a permit, be it teenagers or adults, is that you can only be in the car with one other people. This minimizes the distraction.

Kelly, Lawson, and Carlin (and probably Josie) all screaming when Katie was driving was what they should use forever to show an example. It seemed like she had only recently gotten her permit, and it was her first time. It was a parking lot of a state park, so there might have been people around. Never mind that she's kind of all over the place with her driving and made quite a lot of potentially dangerous mistakes. I can maybe begin to excuse that. But the screaming of four people was a major distraction.

And don't get me started on how young some of these states let people get their permits. I think the Bates kids and the Duggar kids start driving way too soon. I find driving to be such a serious thing, such a big responsibility, but I feel like many others don't feel that way.

I don't think Josie is necessarily too young, at 17, to be learning to drive. Katie does strike me as a little young, though I know that's normal in a lot of rural communities where kids learn to drive young because they're needed to help on the farm. It depends a lot on maturity level; a 17-year-old who will take the risks seriously is more ready to drive than a 20-year-old who treats it like a joyride, and I don't know enough about Josie to make that call for her (note I am NOT saying that the Bates kids are super-mature, just that I can't say either way for Katie in particular, because we don't get the show over here).

That being said, I totally agree with you that Carlin should not have been in that car, full-stop. Lawson is 24, so if he's been driving since his teens he probably has plenty of experience to teach his siblings, but it should have been one adult, one learner at a time. Two experienced drivers, irrespective of the number of learners in the car, just leads to confusion. Honestly, I don't think someone at the driving-round-the-parking-lot level should have any more than ONE adult ever in the car with them, because different people have different styles and preferences. For instance, my mom puts her car in first gear to park, while Mr Alba puts the car in neutral (standard transmission for both), and it can be really confusing to be in the car with one person and get told off for leaving it in neutral, and then get in with the other and be asked why you left it in first. And this was AFTER I had a full Ontario licence and was going for my UK one! I can just imagine Kelly saying to look over your shoulder to reverse, Lawson saying "No, we don't do that anymore", and then Carlin chiming in with, "Don't forget your wing mirrors!"

[backyard sylph]

They went to the state park specifically so there wouldn't be much traffic around. Surely having Carlin in the car and the younger ones and two people teach at once was just for TV. I mean, okay, maybe not, because they are nutty people, and that would explain why some of them aren't very good at it...at least they admitted this later.

I was more bothered that Kelly and Nathan couldn't explain neutral. It's true you don't use it much in automatic, but you need to know the basics of how things work if you are going to operate them.

Not all my kids drive, which bothers me, but a couple of them just didn't take to it. I'm still working on one son, who's 19. He and his older and younger brother all started at the same time, just me or their dad, then each taking turns at the wheel. I had a firm no "backseat driver" rule, but their dad was looser about that. Then they went out with us in pairs or just one, depending. Their dad taught them each the maneuverability portion of the test, because his car is smaller. But we think about these things, in order to do them well. The boy who never took the official test can definitely drive well enough to pass it, but he is uncomfortable about other drivers.

[eandre31]

I felt bad for Josie. She looked so scared and I think the yelling while Katie was driving scared her.

When I was learning to drive, only one adult was in the car with me for that reason and it was usually the calmer parent (my dad). 

That was way too much distraction for new drivers. I understand it was for the show, but still.

[HereticHick]

Like the Bates, I'm from southern Appalachia, and I got my learner's permit at 15 1/2, just like almost all of my classmates.  That is pretty normal for small town America.  I learned to drive on rural dirt roads with low speed limits & no trucks.

But thank god there was no one filming me while I was doing it. I think we take for granted that everything we see on the Duggar and Bates show is filmed & edited --  filming often makes people tense/awkward/anxious. It isn't the same as seeing them in real life, without cameras.

[JMO]

I'm on vacation and won't get to watch it for 2 weeks.  Did anything else happen on the show? 

[Nashville92]

I also felt bad for Josie.  I didn't get my permit till I was 21 and driving makes me nervous.  Was it she or Katie who mentioned wanting Nathan or Zach to teach her to drive because they're the most calm and easy going?  I thought Lawson was doing fine on his own though.  

[Rachel333]

In Arkansas you can get your learner's permit at 14, and I think that's the age that you can get your hardship license too. It's a little disturbing to think that there are 14-year-olds on the road!

I got my permit at 15 but was nervous about taking the test and my permit expired. I finally got my license at 18. It was funny going out of the country at that age when in the US I was old enough to drive but not to drink, while in many other countries I was old enough to drink but not to drive.

I, uh, let my license expire too, which was really dumb. I had to go through the whole process again this year, getting my permit and then taking the road test. I've now taken the written test three times and passed it each time!

When I took the driving test in Arkansas it was just four left turns in the area around the testing center. I thought that was a little too easy, but at least it did involve driving on the road with other cars. When I took the driving test this year in another state it was just parallel parking. Surely being able to parallel park isn't the most important thing about being able to drive!

[alba]

6 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

In Arkansas you can get your learner's permit at 14, and I think that's the age that you can get your hardship license too. It's a little disturbing to think that there are 14-year-olds on the road!

I got my permit at 15 but was nervous about taking the test and my permit expired. I finally got my license at 18. It was funny going out of the country at that age when in the US I was old enough to drive but not to drink, while in many other countries I was old enough to drink but not to drive.

I, uh, let my license expire too, which was really dumb. I had to go through the whole process again this year, getting my permit and then taking the road test. I've now taken the written test three times and passed it each time!

When I took the driving test in Arkansas it was just four left turns in the area around the testing center. I thought that was a little too easy, but at least it did involve driving on the road with other cars. When I took the driving test this year in another state it was just parallel parking. Surely being able to parallel park isn't the most important thing about being able to drive!

Only in Europe. I parallel park every day because I live in a tenement flat XD

That said, my driving test included parallel parking *in addition to*, you know, driving on the road with other vehicles.

[bashfulpixie]

21 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

When I took the driving test in Arkansas it was just four left turns in the area around the testing center. I thought that was a little too easy, but at least it did involve driving on the road with other cars. When I took the driving test this year in another state it was just parallel parking. Surely being able to parallel park isn't the most important thing about being able to drive!

I thought was only a Florida thing- driving around the parking lot.  After my parents saw my 10 minute driving test (which they thought I failed because I was back so soon), they made my brother take drivers ed, which isn't required here.

[PennySycamore]

Some states are discontinuing the parallel parking requirement for two reasons:  people don't parallel park that much and rear view cameras make it easier.  I won't even get into those cars that can automatically parallel park. 

I drive a stick and I always put the car in gear (usually 1st or 2nd)  when I park with the parking brake on so that the car doesn't move.  

[alba]

9 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

Some states are discontinuing the parallel parking requirement for two reasons:  people don't parallel park that much and rear view cameras make it easier.  I won't even get into those cars that can automatically parallel park. 

I drive a stick and I always put the car in gear (usually 1st or 2nd)  when I park with the parking brake on so that the car doesn't move.  

Yeah, I've parallel parked exactly once in North America. And it didn't go too well XD

I wouldn't have thought rear view cameras would make parallel parking much easier, though; the problem I always have is avoiding hitting anything with the front of my car, because I'm trying to manoeuvre between the car I'm parking behind and the one on the other side of the street across from it.  Then again, American streets are generally much wider; with cars parked down both sides of my street there's only about 6 ft between them to manoeuvre the car. It's great fun after a long day at work!

[busdrivingmom]

I cringed watching Lawson and Kelly trying to teach Josie how to drive.  Screaming and yelling does not help a person feel comfortable to learn.  I have tried to teach people how to park a school bus and stressing them out is the quickest way to an accident.  

My kids have been warned they will get permits/take driving lessons at 15 and I/ their dad will not take them out until they finish behind the wheel with an instructor.  This is how my dad did it when I learned to drive and then he took me out for another 4 months of driving until he felt I was ready to get my license ( extra time was not required back then).   Also, he tried to (re)teach my mom to drive so she could get her license before they got married and they almost didn't get married.  

In Illinois now, you have to have your permit at least 9 months and log a minimum of 50 hours of driving time before you can get your license.  Plus, where I am at, public transit sucks and they need to be able to get themselves around.  

[Melissa1977]

In Spain you have to be 18 to learn to drive and no way you can do It with your family, you have to go to a driver school and practice with a driving teacher using a special car with double pedals (there are pedals in both seats, so if you don't drive well, the teacher can stop the car, accelerate, etc) . You do the classes in the real world: in the city, on the highway, etc, and the driver exam is also in the city. Obtaining the permission is expensive and a bit difficult. And most 18-20 years old don't have a car: cars and car taxes are quite expensive.

[PennySycamore]

@busdrivingmom,  I cannot imagine trying to park a school bus!  On our bus route growing up. our bus driver had to make a three-point turn.  There was a little paved spot where there had been a gas station and that's the spot where the driver turned, but it always amazed me that the drivers were able to do so.

One of my daughters is due to have a baby later this year and another daughter had mentioned wanting to go see her sister then.  I was already planning to go and suggested that we might want to drive together.  My pregnant daughter has a Suburban which is just too damn big!  I won't drive it and neither would her sister.  If we take my car, we'll have a car to drive while we're there.

[backyard sylph]

8 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Like the Bates, I'm from southern Appalachia, and I got my learner's permit at 15 1/2, just like almost all of my classmates.  That is pretty normal for small town America.  I learned to drive on rural dirt roads with low speed limits & no trucks.

But thank god there was no one filming me while I was doing it. I think we take for granted that everything we see on the Duggar and Bates show is filmed & edited --  filming often makes people tense/awkward/anxious. It isn't the same as seeing them in real life, without cameras.

I think about this a lot when reading assessments of their behavior. They're still people, underneath all the waxy veneer.

Unlike Spain and other small countries, the U.S. has different rules in each state, per the best needs of that state, in general. Highly urban states set the age limit higher; rural and farming states set the limit lower. Here in Ohio, under 18s have to take and pass an official driving school course which is done in normal traffic, and they are meant to have had a large number of hours behind the wheel with a guardian. The test is done on regular roads (in New Jersey you drive a course,) but first there is a maneuverability test, which is better than the old parallel parking test. You drive forward between cones 40 feet (12 meters,) back up between them to the left, then forward and back to the right. If you touch a cone, you fail. And if you can pass it, you can definitely parallel park, which is still done here downtown and in most neighborhoods.

Sometime in the spring, I was at a park seeing what was coming up in the garden beds, and an Indian woman had set up cones to practice. I stood and watched and told her how to adjust. She was ready. :-)

[season of life]

So, with Jinger getting hitched, who is gonna get married from the Bates family next? Tori is honestly too young, and I don't think she is in a huge rush. Jinger will probably get pregnant after her wedding, so somebody in the Bates clan has to match her. I'm guessing Alyssa.