Jessa, Ben, and Spurgeon part 5

[Hera]

Seriously, though, this issue has come up recently on my house a couple of times. Zeus and I regularly do things with friends/engage in hobbies/go do whatever without the other, including, on occasion, weekends away.  But apparently, other people don't do this? In the last two weeks, two sets of couple friends have announced that they "don't do things separately." Am I the weird one? 

[Ungodly Grandma]

1 minute ago, Hera said:

Seriously, though, this issue has come up recently on my house a couple of times. Zeus and I regularly do things with friends/engage in hobbies/go do whatever without the other, including, on occasion, weekends away.  But apparently, other people don't do this? In the last two weeks, two sets of couple friends have announced that they "don't do things separately." Am I the weird one? 

I think your way is normal. I wonder what people are afraid of, when they can't let their SO out of their sight.

[nst]

you are the normal ones.  I wholeheartedly believe because Jessa is the woman I doubt she is not allowed to go out alone. Show me proof if I am wrong - but it's their cult - although Jill did go out alone when she was newly married and she was on camera shopping for the party she was having for the jhowlers at her and derick's so I could be WRONG.  But we are talking about Jessa.  The crew could have been the accountability partner for a married pregnant woman.  

2 minutes ago, Ungodly Grandma said:

I think your way is normal. I wonder what people are afraid of, when they can't let their SO out of their sight.

running after the other person wishing they would sign something on their body 

[HereticHick]

4 hours ago, Kira said:

Ben was at a Lacrae concert with Krista and someone named Mitchell. I don't think Jessa was there.

http://duggars.tumblr.com/post/142837530765/ben-at-a-lacrae-concert#post-notes

 

 

 

I can't get this tumblr to load--but do they mean Lecrae?  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lecrae

He performed at John Brown University in Siloam Springs AR  yesterday (April 14). Siloam Springs is only about 15 miles from the Duggars. I believe Josh owned a house there once.

http://www.jbu.edu/news/press_releases/?id=21615

[nst]

1 minute ago, HereticHick said:

I can't get this tumblr to load--but do they mean Lecrae?  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lecrae

He performed at John Brown University in Siloam Springs AR  yesterday (April 14). Siloam Springs is only about 15 miles from the Duggars. I believe Josh owned a house there once.

http://www.jbu.edu/news/press_releases/?id=21615

yes

[socalrules]

It looks like Ben has found a love of non-Duggar music and is not going to let it go. I think it's good for them to have separate interests and do things on their own but I think that this is normal for Ben so he doesn't see it as w big deal. Jessa was raised to always be part of a unit, either with her siblings or husband. I don't think it would occur to her to develop an individual interest in anything and then pursue said interest. I also don't see her being happy with Ben developing his own identity.

I don't think they ever would have met up with Flame were it not for the fact that it made for good Duggar TV. Ben isn't Jim Bob. He obviously doesn't want to just be wrapped all up in his wife and nothing else. I see a rocky road ahead for Jessa and Ben. Ben is obviously growing bored in Duggarville. 

[Sundaymorning]

11 minutes ago, Hera said:

Seriously, though, this issue has come up recently on my house a couple of times. Zeus and I regularly do things with friends/engage in hobbies/go do whatever without the other, including, on occasion, weekends away.  But apparently, other people don't do this? In the last two weeks, two sets of couple friends have announced that they "don't do things separately." Am I the weird one? 

No, my girlfriend and me often do things on our own.

We have common friends, which we mostly meet together (usually other lesbian couples), but we usually meet those we have already known before we were a couple, or know from work or something like that separately.

2-3 times a year, I go away alone for a weekend trip with friends from college or visit friends who live in further away places, and so does she.

When it comes to family, I'm close to my cousins and my extended family lives in several different countries, and she has a big family. So we wouldn't even have the time to visit all those people together, we usually split up for that, she spends the weekend with one of her family members, and I rush to the train station/airport to visit mine.

We do have common hobbies and interests, but also different ones which we pursue alone or with other people.

I also know couples who never want to spend time alone, I think it depends on the personality. My girlfriend and I were a semi-long distance couple for quite a while, we only saw each other 2-3 times a month, so I guess we are used to the fact that each of us also has their own life.

[newyorkgirl52]

6 hours ago, Kira said:

Ben was at a Lacrae concert with Krista and someone named Mitchell. I don't think Jessa was there.

http://duggars.tumblr.com/post/142837530765/ben-at-a-lacrae-concert#post-notes

 

 

 

Where was Jessa? I didn't think he could go out with other girls without her? 

6 hours ago, Kira said:

Ben was at a Lacrae concert with Krista and someone named Mitchell. I don't think Jessa was there.

http://duggars.tumblr.com/post/142837530765/ben-at-a-lacrae-concert#post-notes

 

 

 

HOLY SMOKES! I went to that girl's instagram and found this video of the concert! A girl was crowd surfing and there was a lot of dancing. HOW DID JESSA LET HIM GO? 

 

[ClaraOswin]

1 hour ago, Hera said:

Seriously, though, this issue has come up recently on my house a couple of times. Zeus and I regularly do things with friends/engage in hobbies/go do whatever without the other, including, on occasion, weekends away.  But apparently, other people don't do this? In the last two weeks, two sets of couple friends have announced that they "don't do things separately." Am I the weird one? 

I think you're normal. My husband and I are weird though. We are homebodies and don't actually have any friends that live in the same city as us. So we pretty much just hang out with each other. Or my parents occasionally. We aren't really attached at the hip though. We have different hobbies and interests. We certainly don't NEED to be together constantly...even though we are together a lot.

All couples are different, of course. And they do what works best for them. Though with the Duggars, it seems like codependency is all they know and there are no other options.

[nst]

jessa just posted a video of Ben eating tacos

does she read FJ? 

what was I thinking it could be days or weeks old

[OreoMidnight]

It's not strange to do things without your partner. I routinely take a one week vacation/ convention without my partner. We have interests that we share but we are not joined at the hip. I'm sure one of the reasons we have been together for over 25 years is our ability to do things by ourselves or with other friends. 

[PecanThief]

Ugh yuck at that video of Ben slurping down that taco. 

Maybe Jessa posted that video because she also hates the way Ben eats and wants the rest of us to suffer with her xD

[newyorkgirl52]

@nst Why would her reading this make her post a picture of tacos? 
 

 

[Mercer]

2 hours ago, Hera said:

Seriously, though, this issue has come up recently on my house a couple of times. Zeus and I regularly do things with friends/engage in hobbies/go do whatever without the other, including, on occasion, weekends away.  But apparently, other people don't do this? In the last two weeks, two sets of couple friends have announced that they "don't do things separately." Am I the weird one? 

I couldn't handle a relationship where I didn't have any time to myself and didn't feel free to pursue my own interests independently at times. I would find that suffocating and honestly it would be a dealbreaker.

[SassyPants]

45 minutes ago, newyorkgirl52 said:

Where was Jessa? I didn't think he could go out with other girls without her? 

HOLY SMOKES! I went to that girl's instagram and found this video of the concert! A girl was crowd surfing and there was a lot of dancing. HOW DID JESSA LET HIM GO? 

 

She probably has no idea what an actual concert is like.

OMG, some of the concerts that I have been to.

We took our kids (business function for the hubs) to a Rolling Stones concert. Damn, so much Mary Jane in the venue that we often reference that concert as the first time our kids got stoned. 

Tina Turner- 6 outfit changes, including shoes- she was like 60 at the time.

[nst]

i  read that chickie's blog and she knows she is  called a fundie

lol

[newyorkgirl52]

1 minute ago, nst said:

i  read that chickie's blog and she knows she is  called a fundie

lol

Are you talking about Jess or this Krista girl? 

I'm just confused as to why Jessa would post taco photos if she read this blog lol Are you saying Jessa has a blog and knows she is called a fundie @nst Sorry i just want to make sure i understand what youre saying and know communication can be lost online! :-) 

[Toothfairy]

So Ben listens to christian rap. And now goes to a concert. That's not a Duggar. Jim Bob will be angry. 

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

So, Ben did something a normal 20 year old would do. Good for him. EXCEPT, he's not normal. He married a fundie princess at 19 and had a baby with her at 20. If this was my night at a concert, I would be going out for an afterparty or getting food from a late-night restaurant and cracking jokes with friends my age. What does Ben do afterward? He probably goes home to Jessa, a relationship he just might be discovering he gave up his youth for. Exposure to the mainstream is great, but when you first chose to become an official Duggar bitch, it could mean cracks, because how do those two worlds combine?

[lascuba]

I don't know if Ben doing something so normal is a sign of progress for him and Jessa, or a sign that things will go/are going badly. Is Jessa totally fine with Ben going to that concert? Does she pretend to be fine with it because her headship said he's going and that's that? Does she get the chance to leave Spurgeon with Ben and do something non-TLC related? Does she even want to? I highly doubt she would have wanted to go to that concert, but pretending she did...would anyone in her family have agreed to babysit for her to attend a--GASP!--concert?

 

[Toothfairy]

I think Jessa and Ben do a ton of normal things. Even watch evil tv and Jessa wears evil pants at home.

[imokit]

AfterJosh, Ben going to a concert without an accountability buddy/male relative or approved friend.  No way the Duggars are OK with that. 

For them it's one thing to do things away from their partner with people on the approved list.  Jessa going for coffee with Anna. Or even grocery store runs with just an infant. 

But clan duggar does not approve of rock/hip hop even Christian versions.  A Christian rock/hip hop thing will still have normally  (and some scantily) dressed women.  It may have alcohol. If Ben is so inclined there would be easy opportunity for cheating.  I'm not saying he is.  I don't know.  But somewhere like that is certainly opportunity. 

 

[gustava]

12 hours ago, patsymae said:

Appalachia is large and varied, and has the most racially diverse population in the US. There's abundant poverty everywhere.
But that said, I don't think Ben would be more welcome in say, a coal mining town (my Dad is from one) where people also work hard, have close knit communities, and have been acquainted with Jesus for several centuries now. 

I live in Appalachia and agree with your first paragraph.  I do think he might be able to do a short revival or be the guest preacher, but nothing more than a few days.

[nst]

2 hours ago, imokit said:

AfterJosh, Ben going to a concert without an accountability buddy/male relative or approved friend.  No way the Duggars are OK with that. 

For them it's one thing to do things away from their partner with people on the approved list.  Jessa going for coffee with Anna. Or even grocery store runs with just an infant. 

But clan duggar does not approve of rock/hip hop even Christian versions.  A Christian rock/hip hop thing will still have normally  (and some scantily) dressed women.  It may have alcohol. If Ben is so inclined there would be easy opportunity for cheating.  I'm not saying he is.  I don't know.  But somewhere like that is certainly opportunity. 

 

and it looks like it was the girl who posted it - who goes to prayer meetings at the seewalds, and another guy - not even the girl's boyfriend

so unless this friend is an approved friend - he is still going 

#theedgypreacher is actually becoming just that 

it's not really the cheating I am thinking off - it's more what is happening layer by layer something is peeling off

[Ungodly Grandma]

2 minutes ago, nst said:

and it looks like it was the girl who posted it - who goes to prayer meetings at the seewalds, and another guy - not even the girl's boyfriend

so unless this friend is an approved friend - he is still going 

#theedgypreacher is actually becoming just that 

it's not really the cheating I am thinking off - it's more what is happening layer by layer something is peeling off

It can't be easy to keep all those kidults free from outside influences. One more step to normalization? One less layer of crazy.