Erika Shupe *leer smirk* Large Families on Purpose Part 6

[Iokaste]

On 4/12/2016 at 11:28 PM, defraudingjezebel said:

 While Erika certainly has her faults, I think she is definitely more interested in having her kids socialize with others compared to, say, the Maxwells. 

Just being okay with your kids saying "hi" to someone non-family, is laxer than the Maxies! 

[IrishCarrie]

A PAPER golf set?!? For %$}**¥$ sake!

When my nephew was three I bought him a little plastic golf set in the grocery store for €3. It had two little plastic clubs, three plastic golf balls and a little holder with a shoulder strap. And that little set gave him hours of entertainment (mainly swordfighting with it, oops...) and went everywhere with us for ages.

Yes Erika, I know the thought of plastic tat entering your immaculately organised house terrifies you. But here's a thought: maybe think of the enjoyment and creativity your children will get from it and put them first FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODDAMMED LIFE!!!! 

[Shiny]

Does anyone else only hear Kate Gosselin's voice when they click on the Erika thread? I think they are so similar.

[Hisey]

8 hours ago, IrishCarrie said:

A PAPER golf set?!? For %$}**¥$ sake!

When my nephew was three I bought him a little plastic golf set in the grocery store for €3. It had two little plastic clubs, three plastic golf balls and a little holder with a shoulder strap. And that little set gave him hours of entertainment (mainly swordfighting with it, oops...) and went everywhere with us for ages.

Yes Erika, I know the thought of plastic tat entering your immaculately organised house terrifies you. But here's a thought: maybe think of the enjoyment and creativity your children will get from it and put them first FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODDAMMED LIFE!!!! 

I know, I mean, what's that poor kid going to do with that creation, anyhow? It's made from copy paper, for goodness sakes! It will probably end up in the recycling, since there is "no room" in Erika's house for such things. It's such a poor substitute for a real golf set, so useless, it just seems sad. Even Anna Marie doesn't seem that thrilled. . . 

I notice that Erika didn't answer the commenter who suggested buying the child a youth set of clubs. Getting Anna Marie golf lessons is impossible for so many reasons:

1. cost - Ok, that's legit

2. transportation -- Erika doesn't want to load up all the kids and drive to a golf course, then wait around till the lesson is done. Even if Karen babysits, Erika doesn't want to take an hour from the schedule to take Anna Marie there and back. And since the older girls aren't allowed to drive, they can't take her.

3. If Erika allows Anna Marie to escape the schedule and do an activity, the other kids will demand the same. She can't be taking everyone to lessons all the time.

[Eternalbluepearl]

54 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Getting Anna Marie golf lessons is impossible for so many reasons:

1. cost - Ok, that's legit

2. transportation -- Erika doesn't want to load up all the kids and drive to a golf course, then wait around till the lesson is done. Even if Karen babysits, Erika doesn't want to take an hour from the schedule to take Anna Marie there and back. And since the older girls aren't allowed to drive, they can't take her.

3. If Erika allows Anna Marie to escape the schedule and do an activity, the other kids will demand the same. She can't be taking everyone to lessons all the time.

Hence the stupidity of quiverfull. 

[mango_fandango]

Plus Erika wrote a whole post about the evils of organised sports teams anyway. It's basically Maxwellian reasoning- practices apparently happen several nights a week (what normal club practices this often unless it's a competitive squad or something like rowing?) and takes away from family time and especially church time etc on Sundays, plus they're mixing with kids who don't share the exact same blinkered beliefs and you don't want to expose your precious blessings to that. 

[Gimme a Free RV]

4 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Plus Erika wrote a whole post about the evils of organised sports teams anyway. It's basically Maxwellian reasoning- practices apparently happen several nights a week (what normal club practices this often unless it's a competitive squad or something like rowing?) and takes away from family time and especially church time etc on Sundays, plus they're mixing with kids who don't share the exact same blinkered beliefs and you don't want to expose your precious blessings to that. 

I call bull on this, Erika!!!

There are basketball leagues that meet at churches for kids of all ages and are coached by church members capable of doing so.  They learn teamwork, the rules of the game, and they compete with other teams within the organization.  Many churches have softball leagues that compete with other church teams.  I played on a junior high girls' softball team at church when I was 12.  I loved it!  Don't remember any evil shenanigans going on among...CHRISTIAN teammates and their parents!

The AWANA program, found in many evangelical churches, has a game aspect to it where the kids participate in relays of varying sorts and even compete with other AWANA teams.

I'm sure the Christians who organize these sports teams could give Erika a mouthful.  She just seems to come up with her own policies, rules, ethics, morals, and guidelines that SHE wants, doesn't she?

BTW, Erika--the Paul talks about athleticism in the New Testament in one of his epistles.  What about Jonathan's archery skills and David's slingshot skills?  Samson?  What new rule do you want to say God helped you make up, now?

[THERetroGamerNY]

26 minutes ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

I call bull on this, Erika!!!

There are basketball leagues that meet at churches for kids of all ages and are coached by church members capable of doing so.  They learn teamwork, the rules of the game, and they compete with other teams within the organization.  

Ah, but see, here's the rub: She's QF. Insular, sheltered, and family-oriented activities trump all. You're not thinking like she is.

Sports take away time that can be spent on reading the Bible; cleaning the house; or anything else that doesn't run the risk of impurities from outside people and influences. Better to be Godly than have fun.

Better to be safe, inside your "hedge of protection" than risk going to Hell.

And those strong biblical figures you mentioned? They're all men. Gender roles. Samson's strength came divine from God even, and his undoing was a woman, so gotta keep those gender lines clean! Sinful woman killed Samson, so he's a "cautionary tale" more than anything. *rolls eyes*

So, unless somebody invents "Bible Baseball", Erika will have nothing to do with it.

[mango_fandango]

OOH!

There's been a repost of the modest swimsuit post. Unsurprisingly, a fair few of the comments are all like "it should NOT be a woman's responsibility as to how a man acts, if a man 'stumbles' then that's his problem" etc, etc, and some are just "we have these for our girl too" etc. The people who are anti the suits of course produce long reply threads where people disagree. Someone even said "pedophiles are everywhere, be careful of who is eyeballing your kids." Jeez. Living in a state of permanent fear like that sounds awful. Erika doesn't even take her kids to a normal beach- whenever they're on a beach it's a private one with other members of her family. They wear the suits for backyard play and for their church camp, but again that's with people of similar beliefs.

Also, looks like Anna Marie has Melanie's old suit and Melanie has Karen's old suit. Wonder if Karen has a new one? The bottom line of the post says that the three oldest girls feel pretty and covered, but there's no photo of Karen.

[19 cats and counting]

Fundies have to know that there's a way to be modest at the beach/pool without looking ridiculous.

It's called a rash guard.  Many people wear them (including myself) for reasons other than modesty (mainly to keep me from resembling a lobster).  My swimwear is a rash guard (with tankini top) and skirted bottoms.  I don't look like a fundie.

[Gimme a Free RV]

I think the thing that irritates me the most about self-absorbed fundie women like Erika and Jill-Rod are those tutorials and blogs that explain every detail about what makeup they use, how to apply it, why they wear what they do and why it's the best, how they do their hair, etc.  Good grief!  There's a place in her blog where Erika goes on and on, ad nauseum, about her skin care routine and talks about keeping her heels soft with her Ped-Egg, including about how much dry skin gets scraped off.

OK, if their followers really DID request this information, those people need to get lives of their own.  Jill and Erika act like celebrities being featured on Entertainment Tonight.  

Well, since SO many people have been asking, here are step-by-step instructions on how I condition and trim my nose hairs...

[mango_fandango]

17 minutes ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

I think the thing that irritates me the most about self-absorbed fundie women like Erika and Jill-Rod are those tutorials and blogs that explain every detail about what makeup they use, how to apply it, why they wear what they do and why it's the best, how they do their hair, etc.  Good grief!  There's a place in her blog where Erika goes on and on, ad nauseum, about her skin care routine and talks about keeping her heels soft with her Ped-Egg, including about how much dry skin gets scraped off.

OK, if their followers really DID request this information, those people need to get lives of their own.  Jill and Erika act like celebrities being featured on Entertainment Tonight.  

Well, since SO many people have been asking, here are step-by-step instructions on how I condition and trim my nose hairs...

Ya hear that, JRod? We really do NOT need a whole FORTY FIVE MINUTE video on how you and the girls do your hair. Especially when you can sum it up by 1) buy copious amounts of hairspray 2) go wild.

Makeup tutorials are a thing, though. But this just means the followers can look em up on YouTube. I really don't give a flying rat's arse about the Ped Egg thing. It's also a little sad how Erika's not changed her makeup style since her marriage. It's also a bit boring how she emphasises that she doesn't usually shop at Macy's or Nordstrom unless it's to buy the specific bits of makeup. (She spells Macy's with an E. I'm not American and even I know it's not spelled like that!) But it's OK that she buys that stuff at Macy's/Nordstrom because they're quality items and will last.

[Gimme a Free RV]

It's just so selfishly over the top.

Do like I do.

Be like meeee.

I've got my act together and God approves.

[StepMonsterInLA]

Since our girls have summer birthday, they and we chose to combine Mom & Dad's birthday gift money together with their grandparent's gift money to buy these suits for them. 

This is why I loathe Erika. Her girls should have the ability to take whatever meager money Erika gifts them with and be able to go to Target and BUY WHATEVER THEY WANT!  I hate that she takes every decision away and acts like it is their decision.  I think that these girls must be so very afraid of their parents that they agree to whatever she says.  Gift the suit I guess (though I have an issue with replacing their birthday gifts with something you would have to buy for them anyway), but don't take the money and do what you want with it. 

*scream*

[THERetroGamerNY]

It's just so selfishly over the top.

Do like I do.

Be like meeee.

I've got my act together and God approves.

This is it exactly.

"I'm more godly than you, but here's how you can be more godly as well!"

[elliha]

I have to admit that I love modest swimwear. I don't like seeing other people's nude skin and for others to see mine although I accept that most people are not like me. I would gladly wear the suits Erika recommends, ideally without the little sleeve and instead a "modest" tanktop, perhaps even with a longer skirt than the one the girls have. I would prefer it to be a less bright color though, dark blue, grey or black perhaps. Sure I could wear long shorts and a sun protection top too but I think the modest bathing suits are prettier and more feminine. Not that I have to look feminine (I am even gender queer) but I feel that I look boxy and even fatter than I am in more maskuline looking clothes that are wet. My daughter wears a sun protection suit when swimming and for a child I think it is pretty cute.

[refugee]

19 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Plus Erika wrote a whole post about the evils of organised sports teams anyway. It's basically Maxwellian reasoning- practices apparently happen several nights a week (what normal club practices this often unless it's a competitive squad or something like rowing?) and takes away from family time and especially church time etc on Sundays, plus they're mixing with kids who don't share the exact same blinkered beliefs and you don't want to expose your precious blessings to that. 

The schedule was a reason for our family. The local soccer clubs had three practices a week, plus games on Sundays.

I was struggling as it was to sort of keep the house up (I'm a lousy housekeeper) and cover all the school topics I could manage -- math, literature, writing, science, history, art, music -- adding one more thing to the schedule would have sunk my boat.

[Shiny]

I know the are Erika lives in. She is close to a YMCA where her kids could do a wide range of activities, most of which meet one time a week and never on Sundays. There is also Upwards sports which is a highly christian sports league. She just doesn't want to, for whatever reason. 

 

 

[mango_fandango]

@Shiny, maybe it's also part of another Maxwellian thing: Steve writes that it could encourage boy-girl relationships. Because of course boys and girls can NEVER just be friends... ugh. I swear I remember reading a Q and A on an old edition of the Bates blog where Kelly said that their girls can be friends with boys etc, as long as it's Christ honoring or whatever. 

But I think one of the main reasons Erika gives, not just for avoiding sports but for avoiding any kind of activity outside of the home, is that it would take away from precious family time. The family violin teacher even comes to them. Plus she does not have the time to ferry all the kids around. That I can understand. There was one time in my life when I was doing something every night of the school week, but because I only have one brother it wasn't such a faff for my mum to bundle us into the car. When you have eleventy kids it becomes harder. 

[StepMonsterInLA]

34 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

But I think one of the main reasons Erika gives, not just for avoiding sports but for avoiding any kind of activity outside of the home, is that it would take away from precious family time. The family violin teacher even comes to them. Plus she does not have the time to ferry all the kids around. That I can understand. There was one time in my life when I was doing something every night of the school week, but because I only have one brother it wasn't such a faff for my mum to bundle us into the car. When you have eleventy kids it becomes harder. 

I have 2 kids who play baseball and a teen. I was at the ball park 4 of 5 nights this week had a game this morning and another this afternoon. I don't love shuttling my kids around but it's part of parenting kids and allowing them to have interests. Saturday games: It's actually wonderful family time for my husband and me to sit and visit and enjoy being outdoors together. More BS. She is the most isolating of the fundie bloggers I read/watch other than Jill Rod. It seems that the Shupes have a pretty isolated existence in that small house. I feel claustrophobic thinking about it actually. 

[mango_fandango]

10 minutes ago, StepMonsterInLA said:

I have 2 kids who play baseball and a teen. I was at the ball park 4 of 5 nights this week had a game this morning and another this afternoon. I don't love shuttling my kids around but it's part of parenting kids and allowing them to have interests. Saturday games: It's actually wonderful family time for my husband and me to sit and visit and enjoy being outdoors together. More BS. She is the most isolating of the fundie bloggers I read/watch other than Jill Rod. It seems that the Shupes have a pretty isolated existence in that small house. I feel claustrophobic thinking about it actually. 

Yeah. The Maxwells are probably worse, but at least they actually used to do those tours and got out of the house, and actually met people. The Shupes don't have that, mainly because they are basically Maxwell sheep. The Shupes would probably have a more interesting life if they were like the Bontragers and were a travelling musical family. An RV would be more cramped than their current house, but at least the kids would get out more and interact with more people than just relatives and their church family.

[defraudingjezebel]

32 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Yeah. The Maxwells are probably worse, but at least they actually used to do those tours and got out of the house, and actually met people. The Shupes don't have that, mainly because they are basically Maxwell sheep. The Shupes would probably have a more interesting life if they were like the Bontragers and were a travelling musical family. An RV would be more cramped than their current house, but at least the kids would get out more and interact with more people than just relatives and their church family.

I agree. I think Erika is the type that doesn't want to venture out of her comfort zone, geographically speaking. She has always lived and travelled within western Washington state. I notice that when she and the kids go on any kind of outing, camping trip, visit to a museum, etc., its always within a very close radius of her home. Even when they go camping, they always go to the same area that is very close to their home. There are so many beautiful places to camp in Washington state but I guess they don't want to venture out and try anything new. 

I wonder if Erika has ever been outside of Washington. 

[mango_fandango]

10 minutes ago, defraudingjezebel said:

I agree. I think Erika is the type that doesn't want to venture out of her comfort zone, geographically speaking. She has always lived and travelled within western Washington state. I notice that when she and the kids go on any kind of outing, camping trip, visit to a museum, etc., its always within a very close radius of her home. Even when they go camping, they always go to the same area that is very close to their home. There are so many beautiful places to camp in Washington state but I guess they don't want to venture out and try anything new. 

I wonder if Erika has ever been outside of Washington. 

Her sister Heidi lives in Colorado. I think she mentioned Melanie going there once years ago when Heidi had had a new baby. But apart from that, nada. Even the Maxwells venture out of Kansas every year, even if it's just to hop across to Colorado. I get wanting to be close to family, but come on! I've always lived close to my aunts/uncles/grandparents but at least we all go on holiday to various destinations. I think, with Erika, that it's all down to cost. She's obsessed with not spending money unless absolutely necessary. One of her albums from last summer was even labelled "Staycation memories!!". 

[THERetroGamerNY]

Oh, gawd, I just realized that Erika would undoubtedly be one of those "enforcer" types in QF... The ones that subtly coerce, shame, and guilt other "less godly" women into her damaging belief system...

[Foudeb]

31 minutes ago, THERetroGamerNY said:

Oh, gawd, I just realized that Erika would undoubtedly be one of those "enforcer" types in QF... The ones that subtly coerce, shame, and guilt other "less godly" women into her damaging belief system...

She is - all five of her daughters have to follow her madness.