Fundies at the Beach

[Rosa]

2 girls, either both teens or teen & tween, sisters. Long sleeves, swim jumper on one, the other had a separate top & skirt. The one in the jumper had her legs & feet covered too - maybe with stockings? Except they didn't seem to run when she walked barefoot. The one in the skirt, her skirt was just past the knees, bare legs. No headcoverings.

The thing that really struck me was, their mom (long sleeves, long skirt - not out of place or frumpy, the skirty was kind of swishy hippie, except it was 95 degrees today) anyway, their mom stayed and watch them swim. This beach is not very busy, and is very shallow, so a lot of times I see Somali girls in full gear - long skirts, headscarves - in the water, but even they get to go around town without their parents.

[Rosa]

I am looking online for something like what they were wearing - it looked like legit swimwear, that material they make sun shirts out of, pretty much - but it was MORE modest than what's at WholesomeWear or Meant to Be Modest.

[mirele]

I am looking online for something like what they were wearing - it looked like legit swimwear, that material they make sun shirts out of, pretty much - but it was MORE modest than what's at WholesomeWear or Meant to Be Modest.

Meant to Be Modest will make the suits/dresses/leggings/shirts longer for a special order.

[AnnoDomini]

I don't understand. Don't most families go to the beach together? I'm 24 and I've never been to the beach without my parents.

[NurseNell]

I don't understand. Don't most families go to the beach together? I'm 24 and I've never been to the beach without my parents.

I grew up on a beach. We lived in the country about a mile out of town but our Dad dropped us off at the beach in the A.M. and picked us up around 5. We packed lunches. We did this throughout childhood and the teen years. All the kids in town did this. There was a lifeguard and in the afternoon we had various activities. Everything was free. It was a great way to grow up. The only time adults were there is when there were out of town tourists, and on the weekends our parents would sometimes spend a few hours with us.

Nell

[Rosa]

No, most teenagers go to the beach by themselves. Especially here, since the beaches are right on the lakes in the city and most are accessible by city bus. I don't know that I've seen a kid older than 13 or 14 at the beach with Mom, at least not with mom, like, sitting on a bench watching them swim. Last week when we were up at Lake Superior at a beach that's more for vacationers, we saw some teens with parents - but the parents mostly hung out with each other (and swam, or talked, in swimsuits) and the teens went off on their own at least a little distance away.

This beach, like I said, is shallow and unpopular, so there's usually only 2 or 3 groups of people at a time - say, me with my kid, another mom with little kids, and a guy playing with his dog. Seeing teens there at all is a little weird, but I have seen groups of Somali girls and a couple times teens in charge of younger siblings.

Last summer my son went to daycamp in another part of the city and every day we rode past a bigger, sandier beach on a deeper lake that was just swarmed with teenagers in groups of 5-10. If there were adults with them, the teens were staying far away from them.

[Chrystal-J]

I don't understand. Don't most families go to the beach together? I'm 24 and I've never been to the beach without my parents.

May I ask why not? (not being snarky, just curious).

I've been traveling all over the place by myself since I was 14 years old. I'd certainly go to the beach alone--would prefer to actually cuz I'm not big on being in the hot sun so I probably wouldn't want to stay as long as my friends would.

[fundyfunland]

Stockings at the beach? I've only heard of that with MO/Haredi Jews. Are you sure the mom wasn't wearing a wig?

[Rosa]

I'm not sure - I was in the lake and she stayed on shore.

I thought maybe MOs, too, because the only other time I've seen a tween girl all covered up like that, she was Jewish (she chatted me up when I was with my ex's daughter, who was ALSO at the skating rink in a black skirt and tights, because she was in a Goth stage).

[AnnoDomini]

No offense taken. I know I'm on a fundy snark board so I mention my own fundiness at my own risk, and that most questions put to me will be well-meant.

Um... I don't know how to answer the question. How would I have gone to the beach without parents? How is that supposed to work, unless, like Nell, I grew up on a beach?

Never went to the pool without my parents either.

[clibbyjo]

May I ask why not? (not being snarky, just curious).

I've been traveling all over the place by myself since I was 14 years old. I'd certainly go to the beach alone--would prefer to actually cuz I'm not big on being in the hot sun so I probably wouldn't want to stay as long as my friends would.

I live in a landlocked state, the closest big beach would be Lake Erie,which is 3 hours away. There are some closer small lake beaches,but still about an hour away. We only go to the beach on vacation or as a family where its a whole day thing. I am a nervous Nelly about beaches and water. I sit there watching the kids and can't relax while my husband sleeps or swims with them.

Of course,I am fine to send my kids alone off in the woods with one of the dogs, but we have the local bears back right now so that has been curtailed lately. :dance:

[fundyfunland]

No offense taken. I know I'm on a fundy snark board so I mention my own fundiness at my own risk, and that most questions put to me will be well-meant.

Um... I don't know how to answer the question. How would I have gone to the beach without parents? How is that supposed to work, unless, like Nell, I grew up on a beach?

Never went to the pool without my parents either.

You should go! It's fun! And not dangerous at all (in the fundie sense).

[AnnoDomini]

But how would I do that?

[Rosa]

I'm trying to answer the question not snarkily, because I think you're being sincere, but - you just go. Drive, walk, bus, taxi, bike, or hitch. Anywhere you want to go. Ask a friend for a ride. If that doesn't include the beach, fine, but if it does, you could do it. If you're disabled, most places (even rural ones) have a bus for people with disabilities, or a discounted bus pass for the city bus. My hometown didn't have a lake or ocean, but it had a few nice creeks that people swam in, all in walking or biking distance of anywhere in town since it was such a small town. Plus a town pool.

I flew to Japan when I was 17; I was living on my own (at college in the states) by the end of that year which meant I went all over the town I was living in by foot, bus, and bike (no beach, but the riverside). When I was 19 I learned to skate and went around town that way. I took Greyhound and Amtrak all over the country, sometimes for as little as $30-$50 to the East Coast. I was a nanny in Connecticut when I was 22, and I got a bike at a garage sale and rode it 12 miles to the train station to visit New York on weekends, then walked or took the subway (New York buses are kind of scary). One year I interned on a rural organic farm and we walked "to town" a few times a week - about 3 miles on gravel roads.

Last year I took Megabus to Milwaukee twice, for about $20 each time. My little brother did a year of high school in Germany and took buses and trains all over the country, plus skateboarding around various places. I have tutored illiterate 18 year olds who had been taking the bus around for years without even being able to read the maps and schedules.

[AnnoDomini]

Weird. People still hitch these days? I thought it was illegal.

[NurseNell]

Weird. People still hitch these days? I thought it was illegal.

It's illegal on the interstates, at least where I live, but not anywhere else. I don't think hitching is wise for anyone, especially a woman by herself. You couldn't pay me enough money to hitch.

Nell

[Lillian]

Weird. People still hitch these days? I thought it was illegal.

Rosa did list 5 other alternatives, so hitching doesn't have to be an option.

[AnnoDomini]

Oh yeah no, I was just going off on a tangent.

[Chrystal-J]

I see. You don't live near a beach and have to ride with family (like Clibbyjo)--that makes sense. I forget that not all people live near water. (I live in Detroit--surrounded by water.) I just take the bus--but, it's short ride. I don't think I'd travel for hours to go swimming.

[Rosa]

People still hitch, and hop trains, too. I've known lots of traveler kids.

I'm all old and rich now, so I don't have to. But when I was a teenager, in a small town, we caught rides all the time. And it was the '90s, not too long ago. (Looking back, there was no reason to be driving at all - the whole town's about 2 miles across. But when I had to walk places, the poorest kids in town would stop and offer me a ride in their beaters, they felt so sorry for me. EVERYONE drove.)

The beach isn't that important, if it's not that important to you. But it's certainly POSSIBLE.

[AnnoDomini]

I see. You don't live near a beach and have to ride with family (like Clibbyjo)--that makes sense. I forget that not all people live near water. (I live in Detroit--surrounded by water.) I just take the bus--but, it's short ride. I don't think I'd travel for hours to go swimming.

Oh yes. It's hours to the nearest beach. I don't know about pools, since we never go to pools now that we don't live in the suburbs with a community pool.

[JesusFightClub]

It's illegal on the interstates, at least where I live, but not anywhere else. I don't think hitching is wise for anyone, especially a woman by herself. You couldn't pay me enough money to hitch.

Nell

Me neither. I rarely see hitchers though it's not illegal here, but every personal safety guide warns against it strongly, so it may be people just got the message.

[Guest Anonymous]

When we lived rurally we were 40 miles from the coast. My daughter and her friends would take a bus that ran from a local town straight to the beach. This was long before they had pals who drove. Heck they would train off to Portland to see shows or art when they were 15. The girls traveled in a small pack and were very safety oriented, with regular phone check ins. Now that she's an adult, come to find out, the riskiest thing they ever did was try and smoke cigs in public before a Monet showing. I guess a cop stopped them and was going to cite them for minors in possession of cigs (illegal here in Boregonia).

Hitching is no longer safe, but I would say in my youth I hitched thousands of miles solo and with no incident.

I was 41 when my husband and I hopped a freight train to the coast. It was a twelve hour run, on a cold clear snowy night. A rough and tumble ride but magical. (My BIL picked us up at the terminus). There's not enough money to buy memories like that.

[NurseNell]

I was 41 when my husband and I hopped a freight train to the coast. It was a twelve hour run, on a cold clear snowy night. A rough and tumble ride but magical. (My BIL picked us up at the terminus). There's not enough money to buy memories like that.

Wow, that sounds like fun!

Nell

[O Latin]

I'm pretty sure I've only ever been to the beach with my parents, but from where I live you'd have to drive at least 12 hours to get to the beach, so I've only ever gone on family vacation. We do have lakes and whatnot with "beaches" and I'm pretty sure teenagers go there by themselves, but I guess that was just never something my friends and I were into.

Some parents don't want their teenagers driving on interstates/windy roads/whatever to get to the beach.