FotF - Women are evil porn addicts, Men are victims!

[Guest Anonymous]

The article is about how some women consume "emo-porn" as well as traditional porn, but the author seems to think that "emotional porn" is more damaging. He also seems to be a woman hating, clueless piece of shit, but hey! Focus on the Family, so that is par for the course. He flat out says that women like porn more than men do, but I don't buy it. The entire piece is a clusterfuck of fail.

He makes a lot of unfounded, unbacked up claims, such as:

Wifely virtual infidelity is less visible and more secretive, making it harder to expose and to heal. Some startling statistics to support this claim: Wives more than husbands are drawn to chat rooms and illicit relationships, rather than visual images of porn, though visual porn is still enticing (Nearly 30% of all visitors to porn sites are women). Women, far more than men, are likely to act out their behaviors in real life, such as having multiple partners, casual sex, even affairs.

I'd really like a citation for that.

Also, expecting husbands to meet their wives' emotional needs is cruelty, OMG. Mortal men simply can't be expected to have a job and a meaningful relationship with their wives, and if you do expect it, you are totally unreasonable. This dude seems to think that all women sit around and watch soap operas all day while all men work in salt mines so they can buy the ungrateful bitches chocolate.

With emo-porn, fantasy men perform stunningly between the sheets of conversation, emotional understanding, and emotional dexterity. Most mortal men cannot deliver such behavior, the way men do in soap operas and romance novels. Just as wives rightly complain when compared to the artificially created women of Internet porn, men should complain when compared to the artificial men of daytime television. Interesting, isn’t it, how they have such exciting jobs—no Joe The Plumbers. In the real world where real men burn through a lot of emotional battery life to make a real living, being expected to behave like men who don’t exist is more than wrong. It’s cruel.

Porn is a bigger problem for women than men, because women are passive aggressive, petty, vengeful, lazy, and prone to fucking other people to punish their husbands for made up offenses.

One reason why pornography is more attractive to wives than husbands is its capacity for secretive retribution. Through concealed romps with other men, wives say they feel like they have “gotten back†at their husbands for hurting them for behaviors they committed or didn’t commit. It’s a passive-aggressive way of handling conflict without going through the difficult work of actually creating resolution.

Who the fuck did he talk to to draw these conclusions? Because I suspect he made them up wholesale based on his own misogyny.

Read the whole piece if you feel like getting your rage on.

focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce_and_infidelity/pornography_and_virtual_infidelity/corrosive_influence_of_porn_on_wives.aspx

[Guest Anonymous]

This is even shittier and more egregious when you look at it compared to the piece the same author wrote on why men use porn. Completely different tone -way more understanding and less judgemental, and no name calling at all. This guy hates women.

Why pastors look at porn, he says, is multifaceted. “First, because he’s male, and sexual curiosity is hard-wired into the male human body. Second, because he lives in a fallen world, one in which his natural sexual instincts have been warped and titillated.

So, women look at porn because they are evil, cheating, adulteresses. Men look at porn because they are wired that way and the world tempts them to the point that they can't help it. I could honestly scream my face off right now.

focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce_and_infidelity/pornography_and_virtual_infidelity/erosive_influence_of_porn_on_husbands.aspx

[formergothardite]

I'm pretty sure that he made all that stuff up. Haven't followed the link yet, but do they allow comments? If they do I totally want to ask for solid proof of what he is saying.

[slickcat79]

You know, I've read a lot of romance novels as well as seen/read actual porn since I was a teen. Somehow I've managed to be able to separate fiction from reality. I must be some kind of wizard :twisted:

[doggie]

he gets the facts where most fundies do. they pull them out their asses.

[Deleted03]

Nora Roberts you're breaking marriages!

[desertvixen]

Nora Roberts you're breaking marriages!

I know! Like the last one I read, where when the guy wanted to apologize for doing something not-smart in the context of their personal relationship (which, of course, in FOTF-land would never happen), he bought her a pair of shoes that fit, and that she liked. (Much better than flowers because it showed some thought - and the shoes won't die in 5 days)

[slh12280]

Men are slaves to their hormones!! They can't help it!! If women weren't mean to them, then they wouldn't look at porn. I also want proof about the claim that women act on their fantasies more often than men. Where is male responsibility in all of this?

[Chrystal-J]

This man sounds like he's trying to justify his own porn addiction.

[Guest Anonymous]

I'm pretty sure that he made all that stuff up. Haven't followed the link yet, but do they allow comments? If they do I totally want to ask for solid proof of what he is saying.

No comments allowed, I'm afraid. I guess they posted the series to rebuke and edify, not to be questioned.

And, what a shocker! The author is another one of those "Jesus doesn't want me to be nice" nitwits. Glowing praise from his website -

Paul Coughlin! He’s amazing. I’m honored to be speaking with him today. Paul has a prophetic message for men. I’m a big fan. He talks about the martial spirit, about the thumos of men, about moving men from being nice to dangerous and good in the image of Jesus Christ. You have to hear this guy.

And to my additional total lack of surprise, he's favorably compared to John Eldredge, who was just discussed in the Focus on the Family author inspires Mex. narco-traffickers thread.

It seems that lots of other men totally approve of this sort of rhetoric - yet more praise, this time for his book No More Christian Nice Guy.

Paul Coughlin is challenging our thinking on what it means to be God’s man in the 21st Century. The Apostle Paul pens in 1 Corinthians 16:13, “act like men.†That begs the question, What is a man? Coughlin is asking that question. This book is his excellent answer. –Rev. Emerson Eggerichs Ph.D. author of Love and Respect: the Love She Most Desires and the Respect he Desperately Needs.

John Eldredge gave men permission to be “wild at heart.†Paul Coughlin shows us how to do it. This book is a road map to a larger life. –David Murrow, author of Why Men Hate Going to Church

Paul has bold, powerful, and even shocking words for the church–especially regarding God’s celebration of sexual passion. If the church wants to get a handle on rampant divorce and infidelity, Paul has some words of wisdom we dare not ignore. –Dave Meurer, author of Good Spousekeeping: A His and Hers Guide to Couplehood

As far as I can tell the words of wisdom are - if there's anything at all wrong in a marriage, it's the woman's fault.

Focus on the Family is a cesspit.

[Antigone]

Hahahaha.

"Well, we are what we are" Hubby said with a dry smirk after I informed him I am now a porn addict because I read some romance novels once in a blue moon, and he is the poor victim.

I wonder what's next.....then again maybe I am better off not knowing, I like having a clean record. ;)

[LynnKaboom]

Is it bad that emo-porn makes me think of porn with emos in it? That's what I thought he was talking about for a good portion of that article.

[Joykins]

I wonder what their take on slash would be, if they could think of it?

[nuri]

They should never read inspiration romance or bonnet fiction then....all the emotional porn you could want, without the actual porn.

(or as my mom puts it, all of the desire, none of the fun.)

[mirele]

Nora Roberts you're breaking marriages!

I'd love to turn this over to the ladies at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books for the savaging it obviously deserves.

http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/

Romance novel readers don't take this shit lightly.

[emeraldskull]

I just... have no words for how wrong and utterly twisted this is. :-P

[Joykins]

The latest romance I borrowed is about gay shapeshifter werewolves. I'd love to put this "fantasy" into play in my real life, since this is my emotional porn, but I'm having trouble shifting into a gay male werewolf. Does anyone know of a good way to get this to work?

Also I need superpowers.

[Rosa]

Mirele, I'm pretty sure the Smart Bitches have taken this on in the past, and their take was "fuck you, if you can't fulfill our emotional needs we'll choose books instead and leave you alone." with a heaping side dish of "i've been married xx years and romance novels make my marriage better"

[Witsec1]

What would he think of my bedside reading, I wonder:

Porn for women of a certain age