My Secret Fundie Life

[VelociRapture]

I've noticed that as my exposure to the Duggars grows, so does their influence on certain aspects of my life. For instance, my sense of style. I've always been the type of person who thinks that covering up a bit can be very stylish and attractive, but it wasn't until the past few months that I started adding maxi skirts to my wardrobe. I told my Fiance its because I hate shorts and they look comfortable - both of which are true - but I wouldn't have thought to add them to my wardrobe if I hadn't been exposed to the Duggars when I was (lets face it, some of the outfits they come up with are super cute).

 

So, my secret fundie life consists of slight wardrobe changes and long hair (started growing it out for a wedding in late 2013 and now I'm letting it grow for my wedding this year). Also, a desire to cook, clean, and care for my Fiance more. Anyone else have some sort of Fundie secret or am I just weird?

[weirdemmaline]

I write fiction about fundies. That's probably as close to 'secret fundie life' as I get.

Although I do have a collection of five different mega-families that I've created and written about, so there's that...

[nst]

I write fiction about fundies. That's probably as close to 'secret fundie life' as I get.

Although I do have a collection of five different mega-families that I've created and written about, so there's that...

who do you write about ?

Mulder and Scully :D .....or Jill and Derick or Ben and Jessa - Anna and Josh

do share and tell

[weirdemmaline]

who do you write about ?

Mulder and Scully :D .....or Jill and Derick or Ben and Jessa - Anna and Josh

do share and tell

I haven't directly written about any actual fundies, however in a series I'm publishing under a psuedonym the family I write about is a direct dig at the Duggars. All the kids in the family are based off Duggar kids (also a couple Bates and a Maxwell) but they're all named different.

Oh and the first kid to marry off and be covered by the series marries a guy named Ben.

Jill was supposed to make a cameo in another series I've been working on, but I grew bored with the subplot she was supposed to be involved with and the cameo got nixed.

[txmommyof4]

I have gothard hair. It's not really intentional, it's just that I like long hair. Mine is almost to my waist and curly. It frizzes really easy so after I shower I just put leave in conditioner and let it dry naturally. I end up with big soft curls. So yeah, Gothard would be proud.

[KittenMitten]

I've noticed that as my exposure to the Duggars grows, so does their influence on certain aspects of my life. For instance, my sense of style. I've always been the type of person who thinks that covering up a bit can be very stylish and attractive, but it wasn't until the past few months that I started adding maxi skirts to my wardrobe. I told my Fiance its because I hate shorts and they look comfortable - both of which are true - but I wouldn't have thought to add them to my wardrobe if I hadn't been exposed to the Duggars when I was (lets face it, some of the outfits they come up with are super cute).

So, my secret fundie life consists of slight wardrobe changes and long hair (started growing it out for a wedding in late 2013 and now I'm letting it grow for my wedding this year). Also, a desire to cook, clean, and care for my Fiance more. Anyone else have some sort of Fundie secret or am I just weird?

Well, I guess you could say I am dressing fundie. For me though it that I'm older and think short shorts or mini dress would look silly on me. I usually wear capris in the summer, more to cover the varicose veins. When I was little I had a Laura Ingalls fixation and tried for that look.

I also like to do housewifey things, cook and clean and take care of my little family. It gives me a warm, happy feeling and it centers me. I guess the difference is that I have made these decisions to dress and act this way and I presume you have also VelociRapture and you are enjoying it, I hope. Except for Ma and Pa Duggar, they don't make the choice.

I hope I don't come across snarky to you. I just get frustrated these kids do not get choices.

ETA. Have a wonderful and joyous wedding.

[VelociRapture]

Well, I guess you could say I am dressing fundie. For me though it that I'm older and think short shorts or mini dress would look silly on me. I usually wear capris in the summer, more to cover the varicose veins. When I was little I had a Laura Ingalls fixation and tried for that look.

I also like to do housewifey things, cook and clean and take care of my little family. It gives me a warm, happy feeling and it centers me. I guess the difference is that I have made these decisions to dress and act this way and I presume you have also VelociRapture and you are enjoying it, I hope. Except for Ma and Pa Duggar, they don't make the choice.

I hope I don't come across snarky to you. I just get frustrated these kids do not get choices.

ETA. Have a wonderful and joyous wedding.

Thanks! And no worries, it pissed me off that they have little to no choices as well.

When it comes to dressing modestly, for me its because I just don't feel comfortable showing off my body too much. I see women who do and it blows me away because they always look great and seem so confident. I just don't have the personality to pull it off (I'd be really self-conscious), so it is definitely a choice.

I have gothard hair. It's not really intentional, it's just that I like long hair. Mine is almost to my waist and curly. It frizzes really easy so after I shower I just put leave in conditioner and let it dry naturally. I end up with big soft curls. So yeah, Gothard would be proud.

See, my hair is long (mid-back), but it is pin straight and fine. I can never get it to do anything - hair stylists can so I assume they know magic or something. Most I can do is give it a bit of volume.

I haven't directly written about any actual fundies, however in a series I'm publishing under a psuedonym the family I write about is a direct dig at the Duggars. All the kids in the family are based off Duggar kids (also a couple Bates and a Maxwell) but they're all named different.

Oh and the first kid to marry off and be covered by the series marries a guy named Ben.

Jill was supposed to make a cameo in another series I've been working on, but I grew bored with the subplot she was supposed to be involved with and the cameo got nixed.

Lol! I used to write fanfiction too - but I wrote strictly about Harry Potter. It's a great way to practice writing skills and express creativity!

[RosyDaisy]

There's HUGE difference between dressing fundie and actually being one. I dress conservatively, but hate dresses and skirt. I don't dress the way I do because of religion. I just feel comfortable. Now if I had a single digit size, I might show more skin.

[browncoatslytherin]

i have a maxi skirt, but it's pretty much spring/summer/fall only (which is not always the biggest window of time up here in minnesota :lol: ). it's just comfortable for me since i'm bigger right now. if i was smaller, i might still wear maxi skirts, but i'd also be wearing a whole lot of other things that fundies would disapprove of.

my hair is also fairly long, and i'm growing it out even longer in preparation for dreads. but it's pretty straight, no curls for me except one tiny little portion of hairs at the front of my face when my hair is wet. that tiny little portion curls like a mofo and is seriously kinda cute, but it's the only part of my hair that really curls at all. i sometimes have a slight wave when my hair is shorter, but when it's long it's thick and heavy so it just kind of falls flat.

i also do like being domestic sometimes, but i also like it when fiance cooks as well. i actually would like to be a hausfrau, but we can't afford that.

[jerkit]

My husband and I have fairly traditionally gender roles in terms of household duties. I plan to stay at home if/when we decide to reproduce. I wear maxi skirts on the regular in the warmer months.

[eh02]

I don't think anything fundie has rubbed off on me. I was raised around fundies and I've had many years to develop my deep repulsion to high-neck camis under deep V blouses. Nope. Not for me...

I love cooking and making my home look nice, but hate anything crafty, have always been career and school-driven. I'm all for couponing in moderation, but I loathe the idea that you should try to get bottom dollar for everything at the expense of other people's livelihoods. It's disgusting. I would rather have less things so I can buy them at a price that supports ethical wages and business practices, if that's what it takes. There's nothing admirable about nickel and diming people.

And my SO and I have pretty nontraditional roles - my income will likely always be higher, we don't really have any gendered chores or roles, and I am the more assertive one for sure. I fix things and build the furniture, and he's the more sensitive and nurturing one. And that works for us. I like clothes and doing my hair and makeup, but beyond preferring feminine clothing, I don't really consider myself very feminine otherwise - and DEFINITELY not submissive. And I don't feel the need to keep my body covered, despite my mom's (and childhood Baptist church's) best efforts.

Not sure if I'm leaving anything out here, but I can't really think of a single fundie characteritic that appeals to me. It's all made me uncomfortable since I was about 10 years old and realized that confident, smart, ambitious girls were not welcome.

[VelociRapture]

I don't think anything fundie has rubbed off on me. I was raised around fundies and I've had many years to develop my deep repulsion to high-neck camis under deep V blouses. Nope. Not for me...

I love cooking and making my home look nice, but hate anything crafty, have always been career and school-driven. I'm all for couponing in moderation, but I loathe the idea that you should try to get bottom dollar for everything at the expense of other people's livelihoods. It's disgusting. I would rather have less things so I can buy them at a price that supports ethical wages and business practices, if that's what it takes. There's nothing admirable about nickel and diming people.

And my SO and I have pretty nontraditional roles - my income will likely always be higher, we don't really have any gendered chores or roles, and I am the more assertive one for sure. I fix things and build the furniture, and he's the more sensitive and nurturing one. And that works for us. I like clothes and doing my hair and makeup, but beyond preferring feminine clothing, I don't really consider myself very feminine otherwise - and DEFINITELY not submissive. And I don't feel the need to keep my body covered, despite my mom's (and childhood Baptist church's) best efforts.

Not sure if I'm leaving anything out here, but I can't really think of a single fundie characteritic that appeals to me. It's all made me uncomfortable since I was about 10 years old and realized that confident, smart, ambitious girls were not welcome.

Excellent points. I'm not at all religious, so I'm not in danger of becoming a Christian Fundamentalist - if anything, I'm in danger of eventually becoming a crunchy momma. Lol!

And my kids will definitely be raised to be all the things Fundies hate - well-educated, creative, confident, ambitious, open-minded, and accepting of others. This was really just a post meant to see if anyone else had been influenced in tiny ways.

My husband and I have fairly traditionally gender roles in terms of household duties. I plan to stay at home if/when we decide to reproduce. I wear maxi skirts on the regular in the warmer months.

My guy actually loves to cook and is great about helping with the cleaning. During Tax Season I tend to do a lot more of that than he does because he's so busy with work - the rest of the year he takes on more cooking because we live closer to his job.

I'm still torn about staying home when we have kids. I'd love to stay at home with them, but I'm currently attempting to earn a second degree in Nursing. I already know my state really just requires you to pay a fee to keep your license current, but still.

i have a maxi skirt, but it's pretty much spring/summer/fall only (which is not always the biggest window of time up here in minnesota :lol: ). it's just comfortable for me since i'm bigger right now. if i was smaller, i might still wear maxi skirts, but i'd also be wearing a whole lot of other things that fundies would disapprove of.

my hair is also fairly long, and i'm growing it out even longer in preparation for dreads. but it's pretty straight, no curls for me except one tiny little portion of hairs at the front of my face when my hair is wet. that tiny little portion curls like a mofo and is seriously kinda cute, but it's the only part of my hair that really curls at all. i sometimes have a slight wave when my hair is shorter, but when it's long it's thick and heavy so it just kind of falls flat.

i also do like being domestic sometimes, but i also like it when fiance cooks as well. i actually would like to be a hausfrau, but we can't afford that.

I live in New England, so right now isn't exactly the best time for Maxi skirts. I can't wait to break them out soon though!

I'm actually a healthy weight for my height and I'm happy with the way my body is. I just don't feel comfortable showing too much skin. . . and shorts are just uncomfortable for me.

There's HUGE difference between dressing fundie and actually being one. I dress conservatively, but hate dresses and skirt. I don't dress the way I do because of religion. I just feel comfortable. Now if I had a single digit size, I might show more skin.

Oh trust me, I know that. I was just curious if anyone else had been influenced in tiny ways by the Duggars - for instance, seeing some of the outfits the older girls wear made me curious about buying Maxi skirts (and now I have a secret love affair with them). They also made me want to try baking bread.

[ColeMarie86]

I grew up in a family of disfellowshipped Jehovah's Witnesses (because my grandpa chose to smoke) that I think were still trying to redeem themselves even though that religion is like a cult too. We practiced a lot of their rules, but at the same time we did things that they wouldn't approve of doing.

So, I can definitely draw parallels to the Duggar lifestyle. I don't drink, never smoked or did recreational drugs, was home-schooled, wore mostly dresses as a child, dress conservatively now, cook and clean, had long hair during my childhood until my mom finally let me cut it when I was 12, and since then, I've gone back and forth from short to long (currently long).

However, unlike the Duggars, I went on to pursue a BA degree (Summa C. Laude), don't adhere to gender roles along with my cooking/cleaning husband, don't follow my family's old religion, definitely use birth control, believe in over-population and evolution, wear lots of jeans, and am very accepting of all different types of people in general.

I'm considering getting some maxi skirts for the summer too because they are very cute :)

[KittenMitten]

Oh gosh. I'm looking at how I'm dressed today. I am much, much worse than Michelle.

I know I've been complaining on various threads on how snowy and cold it is here. Sorry about all the complaining, but I'm tired of being cold.

Anyway, 18 degrees below zero this morning. So, today I have long johns and leggings underneath a shin length skirt. I have a tee shirt and a turtleneck under a bulky sweater. I'm wearing two pairs of socks and snow boots. My body has NO shape under all this. Ever see little kids in snowsuits or heavy jackets and snow pants and they can barely move? Me! Michelle would be so proud.

But my hair is much better than hers.

[Londish]

Mine are more superficial, I've been curling my hair more lately - Jessa, Jill, and Jana have the most amazing curls when they style it!

I've also been making more smoothies lately, part inspiration from Jessa's instagram, but part excitement over my new blender.

Other than that, I'm a working college gal who lives in skinny jeans and yoga pants. I split the household chores and cooking with my live-in boyfriend, so that's basically where the similarities end.

[19 cats and counting]

I'm a flaming liberal agnostic and I have a few fundie tendencies. I do wear a few things that some fundies like.

I LOVE the infinity scarf trend. Sure they're kind of fundie (hides a low cut shirt) but they're great in this weather. And cute.

I don't like deep v-neck shirts. Maybe if I was better endowed, but I bought a few lace bralettes (that I wear under a bra) that I wear with them for the layered look. I've always liked that look and I don't care if it makes me look fundie.

My hair is fairly long. I just cut off a few inches, but it's about bra strap length. It's straight and won't curl/wave.

IN the warmer weather (it was single digits today so it's hypothetical at this point) I don't wear shorts (only to the gym or to bed). I'm either wearing jeans or a dress/skirt. I'm in my mid 30s and haven't worn shorts in public since high school. Last summer I wore a denim skirt and layered v-neck shirt and my hair in an Elsa style braid and realized I was dressed like a Duggar. My friend called me Jill that day.

I'm very conservative at the beach/pool. I'm wearing at least a skirted tankini and if it's not an indoor pool,a long sleeved rash guard. I don't exactly want to show everything to someone who I'm not sleeping with (and I'm worried about sun damage to my skin. I live in a region of a state that is best known for a trashy reality show with an overly tanned cast. So many women around here look like leather in their 40s and I don't want that).

If I ever get married (more likely to die alone with 40 cats at this point) I will be looking at modest wedding dresses. I don't wear anything that I can't wear a regular bra with. (Note, modest could mean 1 inch straps, no need to sew a t-shirt inside it).

I like to cook. And I LOVE my green smoothies.

ETA Ancestrally I'm half Puritan. While I'm not religious, I do have some pretty conservative Puritan beliefs on a lot of things and was brought up with them.

[KelseyAnn]

I was raised Catholic, and I think it was a bit more strict of an upbringing involving certain things.

Like with the long hair, I would never feel comfortable with it being above my shoulders.

And I was also raised to believe women should be gentle-spoken and all that typical traditionalism.

And while I've shied away from the majority of it, a big part of be still clings to the majority of those beleifs.

If it wasn't for the views of homosexuality, and the whole worshiping saints thing, I would completely go back to a traditional Catholic church.

I'd be perfectly happy to stay at home with a litter of little ones, with hardly any responsibilities but childrearing.

[Alye]

I'm a flaming liberal agnostic and I have a few fundie tendencies. I do wear a few things that some fundies like.

I LOVE the infinity scarf trend. Sure they're kind of fundie (hides a low cut shirt) but they're great in this weather. And cute.

I don't like deep v-neck shirts. Maybe if I was better endowed, but I bought a few lace bralettes (that I wear under a bra) that I wear with them for the layered look. I've always liked that look and I don't care if it makes me look fundie.

My hair is fairly long. I just cut off a few inches, but it's about bra strap length. It's straight and won't curl/wave.

IN the warmer weather (it was single digits today so it's hypothetical at this point) I don't wear shorts (only to the gym or to bed). I'm either wearing jeans or a dress/skirt. I'm in my mid 30s and haven't worn shorts in public since high school. Last summer I wore a denim skirt and layered v-neck shirt and my hair in an Elsa style braid and realized I was dressed like a Duggar. My friend called me Jill that day.

I'm very conservative at the beach/pool. I'm wearing at least a skirted tankini and if it's not an indoor pool,a long sleeved rash guard. I don't exactly want to show everything to someone who I'm not sleeping with (and I'm worried about sun damage to my skin. I live in a region of a state that is best known for a trashy reality show with an overly tanned cast. So many women around here look like leather in their 40s and I don't want that).

If I ever get married (more likely to die alone with 40 cats at this point) I will be looking at modest wedding dresses. I don't wear anything that I can't wear a regular bra with. (Note, modest could mean 1 inch straps, no need to sew a t-shirt inside it).

I like to cook. And I LOVE my green smoothies.

ETA Ancestrally I'm half Puritan. While I'm not religious, I do have some pretty conservative Puritan beliefs on a lot of things and was brought up with them.

If I'm wearing a V-neck top I do wear a cami as a modesty panel for the exact opposite reason. I am incredibly busty. So busty that I have trouble buying bras. Without it I may as well be flashing everyone and I have been harassed by men. I don't wear maxi skirts cause I'm short and overweight and I think they make me look even bigger. So I wear a lot of jeans and t-shirts, well fitting, but not tight, clothes look better on me. With my curves though I can rock a pencil skirt. I love 40's and 50's style clothes as they were designed for real women's bodies.

I am pretty much a SAHD at the moment because of economic and medical reasons. I'm 27 and would love to be independent but I'm only able to work one day a week. I also study part-time externally for my post grad so I'm around the house 90% of the time. I guess the J'Slaves have inspired me to contribute more than I did. The rule is my board means I don't have to do housework but I felt bad that I was hanging around the house and doing nothing most of the time (I don't have the energy to do much). So I took over the kitchen as my 'jurisdiction'. Now we eat healthier and my dad who used to cook as well as working 12 hour days has much more energy. My mother might be retired but she's a horrible cook and a hypochondriac who does less around the house than I ever have.

I love our slow cooker because I can put dinner on in the morning when I have the most energy and it cooks all day and nothing needs to be done come the evening. We eat a lot of soups and stews. At the moment I am making pulled pork in there.

[eri]

I'm the same with the maxi skirts and hair. I don't believe in modesty as a virtue, but I believe it is another form of cute style.

Still wouldn't cook or clean just for the fun of it though. I'm too busy to do much besides make our weekly homemade bread.

[Mellanya]

I really love colorful flowy maxi skirts. I basically live in maxi skirts and maxi dresses in the summer (though I do wear shorter dresses as well, and maybe one of those jumpsuits occasionally). Not jeans though. I guess it has something to do with the fact that I'm not very "graceful" when I move and wearing shorter skirts means risking flashing others occasionally. I do wear sleeveless/lowcut tops with it though.

I really really enjoy cooking and people tell me I'm quite good. I have a tough job with high pressure and long hours, so when I get home I just want to be alone in silence (can't watch tv or anything), so I spend some time cooking from scratch pretty much every evening. Alone, no radio or anything - it's bliss. I also like that it's "manual" to some degree, so using my hands makes me happy. Sometimes, on free days, I'll cook different things all day long and freeze stuff for when I get home really late, for lunch or just for those days where I have a huge headache.

Infinity scarfs are fundie?!?! They're just in here. I have like 10 of them.

[LadyCrow1313]

I don't know if I'd classify this as fundie life; maybe fundie influenced (the same thing, maybe) in certain areas?

When possible, I try to "buy used, save the difference". That's not a bad philosophy to follow, really. I love going to thrift stores/antique places & poke around (mainly for Pyrex dishes, but I digress); you never know what you'll find. I'm also not against shopping for food in discount stores (aka Aldi, et al). Nothing wrong w/saving $ when possible.

However, this doesn't apply to everything. Clothing-wise, I may do a once-a-year (or every other year) "splurge" (aka ~$200ish), & I buy my sneakers from an athletic shoe place (shoes are $$$, especially since I have boats for feet, but the store is cool & they give personalized attention to their customers; I find that extremely cool).

I live in jeans @ all times, so I can't imagine wearing skirts (esp when it's -893457892347589347 outside). I do like nightgowns, & sometimes imagine what it'd be like to wear skirts on regular basis. I think I'd give people a coronary. :pink-shock:

My hair is long (approximately 2 feet or so) & curly, so I suppose it'd be Gothard-approved (not the color so much, though). Tattoos & the music I listen to aren't Gothard-approved, so I'm screwed in that respect.

I was told once, many moons ago, that I'd make someone a good wife (I may have mentioned this before). I find that amusing. 8-)

[VelociRapture]

I don't know if I'd classify this as fundie life; maybe fundie influenced (the same thing, maybe) in certain areas?

That is exactly what I meant! Lol! I've been exhausted (like completely and utterly nearly nodding off constantly exhausted) the past month or so - my brain doesn't always work when I need it to. You definitely worded it better than I did.

[VelociRapture]

If I ever get married (more likely to die alone with 40 cats at this point) I will be looking at modest wedding dresses. I don't wear anything that I can't wear a regular bra with. (Note, modest could mean 1 inch straps, no need to sew a t-shirt inside it).

I bought my wedding dress about a year ago and my one big requirement was that it had to have straps of some sort. I'm not busty (B-cup), but I just always feel uncomfortable and exposed in strapless dresses - which is sad because they look so gorgeous on people! Wound up with an A-line Chiffon dress with a v-neck and straps, so I was quite pleased.

I really love colorful flowy maxi skirts. I basically live in maxi skirts and maxi dresses in the summer (though I do wear shorter dresses as well, and maybe one of those jumpsuits occasionally). Not jeans though. I guess it has something to do with the fact that I'm not very "graceful" when I move and wearing shorter skirts means risking flashing others occasionally. I do wear sleeveless/lowcut tops with it though.

I really really enjoy cooking and people tell me I'm quite good. I have a tough job with high pressure and long hours, so when I get home I just want to be alone in silence (can't watch tv or anything), so I spend some time cooking from scratch pretty much every evening. Alone, no radio or anything - it's bliss. I also like that it's "manual" to some degree, so using my hands makes me happy. Sometimes, on free days, I'll cook different things all day long and freeze stuff for when I get home really late, for lunch or just for those days where I have a huge headache.

I am one of the least graceful people that I know. I constantly have bruises on my legs from bumping into stuff - it's a problem. So shorter skirts and dresses (above knee length) aren't a great option for me.

My personal style philosophy is that I can show some skin, but I can't show everything - for instance, I'm fine with wearing a lower cut top sometimes, but that means I have to wear it with pants or a long skirt. That just makes me feel more comfortable.

I'm the same with the maxi skirts and hair. I don't believe in modesty as a virtue, but I believe it is another form of cute style.

Same here. It can look really cute sometimes, just like a more revealing outfit can be really cute too. It's just knowing what you feel comfortable with wearing.

I was raised Catholic, and I think it was a bit more strict of an upbringing involving certain things.

Like with the long hair, I would never feel comfortable with it being above my shoulders.

And I was also raised to believe women should be gentle-spoken and all that typical traditionalism.

And while I've shied away from the majority of it, a big part of be still clings to the majority of those beleifs.

If it wasn't for the views of homosexuality, and the whole worshiping saints thing, I would completely go back to a traditional Catholic church.

I'd be perfectly happy to stay at home with a litter of little ones, with hardly any responsibilities but childrearing.

My mom's family is Catholic and that was the faith we were "raised" in - we only went to Church when someone died, got married, or for one of the big ceremonies (like First Communion). Mom did make us do CCD, but none of us really liked it or cared that much.

For me personally, I unofficially left the faith because of their stances on a lot of social issues important to me. . . but I also left because I simply don't have the ability to believe in what they teach. I'm a really logical person and when I don't have proof to back something up it's very tough for me to believe in it - I guess I lack faith.

[VelociRapture]

Also, I'm wearing my very first Maxi skirt today (wearing light leggings underneath because it's freaking freezing outside). It is soooooo comfortable! Why did I never buy these before?!

[19 cats and counting]

I should add that I started shopping at Aldi because of the Duggars. There's one near me that I never really went to and then I watched their first special.

I was there the other day and came out with 3 bags of apples (for a crockpot full of applesauce), celery, stew meat, milk, eggs, and others for under $30. I don't buy everything there but I can get a lot of stuff there and it has saved me $$$$.