Pope:Child-free Couples are Selfish

[RachelB]

Hm. Dearest pope, I promised my brother and SIL that they could have my 1.5 children along with their own, so that they got a non-fractional number. I do not think that was selfish.

[tehfanglyfish]

If ANYTHING is selfish, it's having kids against your instincts when you don't want them or can't support them. Someone who does not like or want children is the last person that should be bringing one in to the world.

.

My MIL is one of those people. She has no business caring for a pet rock or a houseplant, let alone pets or children. My mister cut off all contact with her but is still recovering from the time he spent in her house. His brother has substance abuse issues from childhood trauma. Parenthood is most definitely NOT for everyone.

[eri]

Child-free people or adopters/foster parents are my favorite people. The mommy "omg I need to get pregz" culture is really overwhelming and can spawn bullies. "You don't have children/your own biological children! You're selfish/weird!"

[ladyamylynn]

You're right, different social circles.

I just find that many of the childless people I know aren't that way by choice. Aside from infertility, there are those with serious health issues, those who never found a partner, those in difficult marriages, those who have issues that would prevent them from being effective parents, etc. So, I never make any assumption that someone is childless by choice unless they clearly indicate that this is the case.

And I never make any assumption that someone is childless by anything other than by choice.

[fun2beme]

As a lifelong Catholic who wanted children all my life and will never have any, the Pope can bite me. He didn't even bother to add the token disclaimer about people who want children but can't have them. I rescued two shelter cats in my life and yes, I spoil them (even the evil one), but per his logic, I'd be no worse off if I abused them because only having babies matters. Yet didn't he say animals go to heaven?

I have a niece and nephew that I love more than anything, strongly support children's charities, and get teary-eyed when I see pregnant women... but at the end of the day, I'm just a selflish person.

Curious to hear him address the topic of homosexuals who adopt unwanted children and give them loving homes? I'm guessing they're selfish too.

[nokidsmom]

Child-free people or adopters/foster parents are my favorite people. The mommy "omg I need to get pregz" culture is really overwhelming and can spawn bullies. "You don't have children/your own biological children! You're selfish/weird!"

OMG, when I was first married, I was in a workplace surrounded by young women who were same age also newly married. It was the "omg I need to get pregnant" and the other was "omg we have to buy a house". I was pestered every damn day by people asked when I was going to have a baby and when I was going to buy a house. At that time, Mr. No and I just wanted to have our time together as a couple and oh boy, was I selfish for even wanting that! Note that I never said that I didn't want kids, I just wanted time with my husband, but that was still a terrible, selfish thing to want. So yeah it does get bullying and denigrating.

[fun2beme]

OMG, when I was first married, I was in a workplace surrounded by young women who were same age also newly married. It was the "omg I need to get pregnant" and the other was "omg we have to buy a house". I was pestered every damn day by people asked when I was going to have a baby and when I was going to buy a house. At that time, Mr. No and I just wanted to have our time together as a couple and oh boy, was I selfish for even wanting that! Note that I never said that I didn't want kids, I just wanted time with my husband, but that was still a terrible, selfish thing to want. So yeah it does get bullying and denigrating.

And then there's the stereotype that you're career-driven... not that it's a bad thing but it's another one I run into a lot. Right now I'm really fortunate to have a lot of gay male co-workers. Minimal baby talk, no gushing over wedding plans, no competing to see whose partner did something more romantic, and no interference into anyone else's personal lives unless it's offered.

[2xx1xy1JD]

And I never make any assumption that someone is childless by anything other than by choice.

Maybe we should just say, "never make assumptions about the reasons behind lack of children"?

I've been on the receiving end of friendly "advice" and questions about when we were going to have kids/have another kid. A number of those questions came as I was experiencing miscarriages (1 came DURING a miscarriage, another came a week after my second consecutive miscarriage) or problems trying to conceive, and they made me feel like complete shit. I've seen this happen to others, who clearly feel the same way. Even general "have more babies" sermons left some of my friends deeply upset and shaken.

[fun2beme]

I find that people who hated being asked when they planned on having kids suddenly change their tune when they do have kids, and freely ask others about their family planning. Ugh

[Mama Mia]

This kind of talk saddens me. Growing up in a religious family and seeing my Mom as a housewife for a good portion of my life, I vowed never to get married. I'm now 19 and having a life partner has slowly started to appeal to me, as my mom has since gotten a job, my father has retired, and they are still a happy couple (there are still things about marriage that turn me off, however. I believe the bible wholeheartedly and I the wife is supposed to submit to the husband. I don't see myself submitting to anyone, which is why there's still a part of me that probably won't get married even if I met someone I loved).

what? Your mom was a housewife so you don't want to get married? :? And you say she's now working and STILL happily married? So if she wasn't unhappy before why would her choice to be a housewife , or not, make you think negatively of marriage?

And if you firmly believe that as a wife you are supposed to be submissive, find a man whose idea of being in charge is to tell you he loves that you have your own opinions and judgement and he insists that you use them to make your own choices.

It took me awhile to become okay with even thinking about marriage, but I know in my heart that I never wish to have kids and it just kills me that some Christians consider it wrong for a healthy, fertile couple to purposefully prevent having children. It makes my blood boil to know that even if I met someone I loved and decided to get married, people would judge me or think something was wrong because I don't want kids.

Some people will judge you for absolutely every choice you make in life. There is no escaping it.

It's even unheard of or considered selfish if you, as a married woman, get pregnant and decide to give the baby away to a couple who will love and take care of it.

[I can't even believe that some people would put adoption and selfish in the same sentence! There are actually people out there that believe that if you are married and you do not want children that you are sinful, despite there being no biblical evidence of it.

again, like with anything being judged - anything can be done selfishly.

It just makes me angry the way that these people think. There are some people who just do not want children. Not every woman has the instinct to be a mom. If I didn't have the option to give up the child to another family, (not bringing abortion into the debate, as I believe it's immoral) it would not be fair to the child because I'm not a maternal person and much as I respect them, I do not enjoy children. In some cases it would be harmful to the child to know that their parent doesn't want them.

Wouldn't it be nice if religion wasn't so damn black and white?

well, except it isn't. And even if it was, in this post you are saying that there isn't anything biblical about being required to have children.

[eri]

As a lifelong Catholic who wanted children all my life and will never have any, the Pope can bite me. He didn't even bother to add the token disclaimer about people who want children but can't have them. I rescued two shelter cats in my life and yes, I spoil them (even the evil one), but per his logic, I'd be no worse off if I abused them because only having babies matters. Yet didn't he say animals go to heaven?

I have a niece and nephew that I love more than anything, strongly support children's charities, and get teary-eyed when I see pregnant women... but at the end of the day, I'm just a selflish person.

Curious to hear him address the topic of homosexuals who adopt unwanted children and give them loving homes? I'm guessing they're selfish too.

Everyone is selfish. From not wanting children to wanting children to wanting to feel good for helping others, it all stems for want.

Luckily, humans evolved this way for a reason: to want what is best for the group. People who don't want kids shouldn't have them and vice versa. Wanting to feel good or relieve guilt by giving a homeless man change or volunteer at the pet shelter is technically selfish, but why does it matter? Why make the distinction?

The only selfishness that matters in my opinion is the kind that hurts other people.

[whoviana]

OMG, when I was first married, I was in a workplace surrounded by young women who were same age also newly married. It was the "omg I need to get pregnant" and the other was "omg we have to buy a house". I was pestered every damn day by people asked when I was going to have a baby and when I was going to buy a house. At that time, Mr. No and I just wanted to have our time together as a couple and oh boy, was I selfish for even wanting that! Note that I never said that I didn't want kids, I just wanted time with my husband, but that was still a terrible, selfish thing to want. So yeah it does get bullying and denigrating.

In another topic someone told me that it is MY FAULT that I lost touch with friends who became parents, just because their "joy" to me meant nothing and sure as hell didn't want to share the burdens and ruin my girls' nights out listening to the martyrdom and the holiness they depicted their lives that they chose in the first place. They couldn't trust their husbands to the point of constantly beeing on the phone and asking if the kid was still alive, had their formula (long conversation about the bottle feedings), had their binkie, how much time it took for them to fall asleep - yes that's exactly the thing I need on a Saturday night that comes once a week and I want to get shitfaced, I dress up and I wanna party. I just never understood why they insisted on going out. And when I stated that I was reasonable enough to back off and turn around and change directions since this overpopulated planet is full of people that I can have fun with - someone tosses it in my face that it was my fault for not trying hard enough to stay in touch. MAYBE just maybe I didn't want to, and I could have spared me a few screwed up saturday nights. It always kicked off by entire week's worth of text messages on how they wanted to go out and nothing has changed and finally the "whole gang's together again" - then bamm! there goes everyone's night out. Total bummer. They left early, everyone was out of the mood, and then there came those fake facebook posts about how much fun they! (not we) had the previous night and they are still the same old "Jenny from the block" and nothing has changed. Whoopee!

I decided not to have kids because the burdens and sacrifices won't make up to the "joys" for me. I see the seven billion three hundred millionth human teething and crawling and painting on the wall with a sharpie - tell me what else is new. I want more trees, less noise, less crowds, more forests, cleaner waters, less traffic, less pollution, less gang crimes, less kids growing up in poverty to live unfulfilling lives - less of all the damage that humanity has done. I put the Earth and the Environment first.

As to adoption: yes, I do want more children to be adopted and if we will ever have children, they will be small children from orphanages that their sperm and egg donors have discarded of, like they were garbage.

If children are as sacred as humanity claims them to be, how come that almost no one adopts unless it's their last resort to have a family, and how come that there are hundreds of millions of children in the world, raising each other in gangs, placed in orphanages if they are lucky, living on the streets resorting to selling themselves or begging for money from tourists, getting into the mob while still preteens, robbing people, pickpocketing, doing child labour for multinational companies...?

If I will ever have kids they will be children who already exist in this world and they have been thrown away.

Long CP:

Facts and Statistics

In the U.S. 397,122 children are living without permanent families in the foster care system. 101,666 of these children are eligible for adoption, but nearly 32% of these children will wait over three years in foster care before being adopted.

Source: AFCARS Report, No. 20

Around the world, there are an estimated 153 million orphans who have lost one parent. There are 17,900,000 orphans who have lost both parents and are living in orphanages or on the streets and lack the care and attention required for healthy development. These children are at risk for disease, malnutrition, and death.

Source: Childinfo (UNICEF, 2011)

According to the U.S. State Department, U.S. families adopted more than 7,000 children in 2012. Last year, Americans adopted the highest number of children from China followed by Ethiopia, Ukraine, Haiti, and the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Source: United States Department of State (FY 2013 Annual Report)

No child under three years of age should be placed in institutional care without a parent or primary caregiver, according to research from 32 European countries, including nine in-depth country studies, which considered the “risk of harm in terms of attachment disorder, developmental delay and neural atrophy in the developing brain."

Source: Childcentre.info (Executive Summary)

Children raised in orphanages have an IQ 20 points lower than their peers in foster care, according to a meta-analysis of 75 studies (more than 3,800 children in 19 countries).

Source: IQ of Children Growing Up in Children's Homes A Meta-Analysis on IQ Delays in Orphanages

In 2012, 23,396 youth aged out of the U.S. foster care system without the emotional and financial support necessary to succeed. Nearly 40% had been homeless or couch surfed, nearly 60% of young men had been convicted of a crime, and only 48% were employed. 75% of women and 33% of men receive government benefits to meet basic needs. 50% of all youth who aged out were involved in substance use and 17% of the females were pregnant.

Source: AFCARS Report, No. 20, Jim Casey Youth

Nearly 25% of youth aging out did not have a high school diploma or GED, and a mere 6% had finished a two- or four-year degree after aging out of foster care. One study shows 70% of all youth in foster care have the desire to attend college.

Source: Midwest Evaluation of the Adult Functioning of Former Foster Youth

As of 2012, more than 58,000 children in the U.S. foster care system were placed in institutions or group homes, not in traditional foster homes.

Source: AFCARS Report, No. 20

States spent a mere 1.2-1.3% of available federal funds on parent recruitment and training services even though 22% of children in foster care had adoption as their goal.

Source: Adoption Advocate No. 6: Parent Recruitment and Training: A Crucial, Neglected Child

Three years is the average length of time a child in foster care waits to be adopted. Roughly 55% of these children have had three or more placements. An earlier study found that 33% of children had changed elementary schools five or more times, losing relationships and falling behind educationally.

Source: AFCARS Report, No. 20

[whoviana]

As to forcing myself to stay in touch with people: I too, have one life, I'm not going to wait until I die to figure out if there is a reincarnation to be young and carefree again. They too, had one life and had their choices. Since when are we obliged to be the sacrificial lambs and cater to the needs of people with children? Society doesn't even seem to tolerate us not being extra pairs of hands or wanting to lend ears to listen to marital problems or developmental issues. It's like everyone's obliged to cater to humanity's repopulational needs. No. No. If we were on the verge of dying out due to some disaster, I'd kind of get where they come from, still I wouldn't feel obliged to cooperate and they could not bully me into doing it, since bullying doesn't work on me anymore, I learned to grab bullies by the horn. But with freaking THEVEN point THREE billion peoplez?! Leave. Us. The F***. ALONE!

[ILoveJellybeans]

I don't think it is selfish to choose not to have a child. In fact, I think it is selfish to be Quiverfull-they are saying that they will never do anything to prevent pregnancy, and will have as many children as they can have...but this isn't always a good option. I like large families, but the problem with being Quiverfull is that they are not willing to stop for anything. This is selfish because they are not putting their kids needs into consideration, meaning that a lot of these families are going on to have kids that they can barely look after because they think it is wrong to stop. Families keeping on adding more when they are stretching meals to feed the ones they already have. Kids who have to sleep in a crowded bedroom where there is barely any floor space because they exceeded the maximum capacity of the house a few kids ago and cant afford to move. Older kids having to care for their younger siblings because their parents are so overwhelmed but wont think of stopping having kids until their younger ones are less dependant on them. Babies trained to accept that their parents don't come when they cry and that their needs don't matter just because it is more convenient to the parents that way.

[Toothfairy]

The Catholic church is against everything. The lack of desire to have children often stems from selfish motives. Some people do not want children because they want to focus on themselves, their careers, and their money. They do not want to be "tied down" or give up their expensive cars, homes, or vacations. This kind of attitude is seen as selfish and sinful. Others do not want children because of fears about not being able to parent successfully, not being able to afford to raise the child properly, or fears about childbirth itself. The church is just ridiculous. What's wrong with wanting to live a child free lifestyle? What's wrong with spending money on yourself? What's wrong with enjoying a child free life? Since the goal of the chruch is to create as many members as possible, they look down on child free couples.

[Cleopatra7]

If you want to understand how "orthodox Catholics" justify the contraception ban, just look at this thread I was involved with last year on a Catholic blog:

vox-nova.com/2014/07/20/catholic-women-on-not-using-birth-control/

Basically, they're saying that contraception is wrong because it's "unnatural " and the church has always said so, therefore it must be true. When I tried to bring up the health risks inherent to pregnancy and childbirth, I was brushed off. Basically, for "orthodox Catholics" there's never not a good reason to have a baby, despite claims to the contrary.

[eri]

In another topic someone told me that it is MY FAULT that I lost touch with friends who became parents, just because their "joy" to me meant nothing and sure as hell didn't want to share the burdens and ruin my girls' nights out listening to the martyrdom and the holiness they depicted their lives that they chose in the first place. They couldn't trust their husbands to the point of constantly beeing on the phone and asking if the kid was still alive, had their formula (long conversation about the bottle feedings), had their binkie, how much time it took for them to fall asleep - yes that's exactly the thing I need on a Saturday night that comes once a week and I want to get shitfaced, I dress up and I wanna party. I just never understood why they insisted on going out. And when I stated that I was reasonable enough to back off and turn around and change directions since this overpopulated planet is full of people that I can have fun with - someone tosses it in my face that it was my fault for not trying hard enough to stay in touch. MAYBE just maybe I didn't want to, and I could have spared me a few screwed up saturday nights. It always kicked off by entire week's worth of text messages on how they wanted to go out and nothing has changed and finally the "whole gang's together again" - then bamm! there goes everyone's night out. Total bummer. They left early, everyone was out of the mood, and then there came those fake facebook posts about how much fun they! (not we) had the previous night and they are still the same old "Jenny from the block" and nothing has changed. Whoopee!

I decided not to have kids because the burdens and sacrifices won't make up to the "joys" for me. I see the seven billion three hundred millionth human teething and crawling and painting on the wall with a sharpie - tell me what else is new. I want more trees, less noise, less crowds, more forests, cleaner waters, less traffic, less pollution, less gang crimes, less kids growing up in poverty to live unfulfilling lives - less of all the damage that humanity has done. I put the Earth and the Environment first.

As to adoption: yes, I do want more children to be adopted and if we will ever have children, they will be small children from orphanages that their sperm and egg donors have discarded of, like they were garbage.

If children are as sacred as humanity claims them to be, how come that almost no one adopts unless it's their last resort to have a family, and how come that there are hundreds of millions of children in the world, raising each other in gangs, placed in orphanages if they are lucky, living on the streets resorting to selling themselves or begging for money from tourists, getting into the mob while still preteens, robbing people, pickpocketing, doing child labour for multinational companies...?

If I will ever have kids they will be children who already exist in this world and they have been thrown away.

Long CP:

Facts and Statistics

In the U.S. 397,122 children are living without permanent families in the foster care system. 101,666 of these children are eligible for adoption, but nearly 32% of these children will wait over three years in foster care before being adopted.

Source: AFCARS Report, No. 20

Around the world, there are an estimated 153 million orphans who have lost one parent. There are 17,900,000 orphans who have lost both parents and are living in orphanages or on the streets and lack the care and attention required for healthy development. These children are at risk for disease, malnutrition, and death.

Source: Childinfo (UNICEF, 2011)

According to the U.S. State Department, U.S. families adopted more than 7,000 children in 2012. Last year, Americans adopted the highest number of children from China followed by Ethiopia, Ukraine, Haiti, and the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Source: United States Department of State (FY 2013 Annual Report)

No child under three years of age should be placed in institutional care without a parent or primary caregiver, according to research from 32 European countries, including nine in-depth country studies, which considered the “risk of harm in terms of attachment disorder, developmental delay and neural atrophy in the developing brain."

Source: Childcentre.info (Executive Summary)

Children raised in orphanages have an IQ 20 points lower than their peers in foster care, according to a meta-analysis of 75 studies (more than 3,800 children in 19 countries).

Source: IQ of Children Growing Up in Children's Homes A Meta-Analysis on IQ Delays in Orphanages

In 2012, 23,396 youth aged out of the U.S. foster care system without the emotional and financial support necessary to succeed. Nearly 40% had been homeless or couch surfed, nearly 60% of young men had been convicted of a crime, and only 48% were employed. 75% of women and 33% of men receive government benefits to meet basic needs. 50% of all youth who aged out were involved in substance use and 17% of the females were pregnant.

Source: AFCARS Report, No. 20, Jim Casey Youth

Nearly 25% of youth aging out did not have a high school diploma or GED, and a mere 6% had finished a two- or four-year degree after aging out of foster care. One study shows 70% of all youth in foster care have the desire to attend college.

Source: Midwest Evaluation of the Adult Functioning of Former Foster Youth

As of 2012, more than 58,000 children in the U.S. foster care system were placed in institutions or group homes, not in traditional foster homes.

Source: AFCARS Report, No. 20

States spent a mere 1.2-1.3% of available federal funds on parent recruitment and training services even though 22% of children in foster care had adoption as their goal.

Source: Adoption Advocate No. 6: Parent Recruitment and Training: A Crucial, Neglected Child

Three years is the average length of time a child in foster care waits to be adopted. Roughly 55% of these children have had three or more placements. An earlier study found that 33% of children had changed elementary schools five or more times, losing relationships and falling behind educationally.

Source: AFCARS Report, No. 20

Childfree people are in the minority and as such are easy targets of mild parental bullying. People who want biological children more than anything simply don't understand why someone wouldn't want children. Maybe that is OK, but being rude and presumptuous over someone's personal choices is a dick move.

And yeah, the IVF/egg donation stuff bothers me too--here we have these people who see children as a gift, but throw away embryos because they don't want to be octomom. In the same way, quiverfull people have miscarriage after miscarriage because they couldn't stand to limit their reproduction. Allowing yourself to be potentially pregnant for 25 years results in more dead fetuses than I would care to discuss. That is fucked up to me from a logical consistency standpoint. I'm not super pro-life, but at least a CF woman will not go through abortion as often as those evangelical quiverfull people have spontaneous abortions.

[RachelB]

Childfree people are in the minority and as such are easy targets of mild parental bullying. People who want biological children more than anything simply don't understand why someone wouldn't want children. Maybe that is OK, but being rude and presumptuous over someone's personal choices is a dick move.

And yeah, the IVF/egg donation stuff bothers me too--here we have these people who see children as a gift, but throw away embryos because they don't want to be octomom. In the same way, quiverfull people have miscarriage after miscarriage because they couldn't stand to limit their reproduction. Allowing yourself to be potentially pregnant for 25 years results in more dead fetuses than I would care to discuss. That is fucked up to me from a logical consistency standpoint. I'm not super pro-life, but at least a CF woman will not go through abortion as often as those evangelical quiverfull people have spontaneous abortions.

I don't have children and am not planning to have children. I don't dislike children, any more does than my aunt, who also elected not to have children. (Aunt was seriously my favorite adult when I was a kid, because she taught elementary school for 30 years and is a genius with kids. She has lost track of how many kids she taught to read.) Just-- for me, absence of a strong, sustained desire to have a child seemed like a good reason not to have one. Parenting is hard, and I imagine that it helps with the hardness to know that raising a child is something that is really important to you.

Fewer people express their opinions that I should procreate now, now that I am approaching an age where it is markedly less likely that I'd have a child, even if I decided I wanted to. Because my brother and SIL had kids, Mom's friends have stopped telling me that it is my duty to provide my mother with grandchildren.

Funny thing is, as much concern-trolling as I got for not getting married and having babies in a timely fashion, my SIL got at least that much concern-trolling during and following her pregnancies. Relatives and random people audit her parenting all the time, even though my brother is generally also present and, you know, also parenting. So far as I can tell, this is not because she's doing anything wrong, but because there is no reproductive choice a woman can make where someone won't tell her she's doing it wrong. It's a rigged game, and it is bullshit. It really doesn't happen to men.

:penguin-no:

[whoviana]

That's the other thing, besides parenting being a tough job.Unsolicited advices. Mommy wars. Uncalled for remarks from everyone. Relatives going against my parenting principals. Competition between mommies over the pettiest things. People expressing their worries over the pettiest things. It's not only me and a kid with it's own will - it's the entire world thinking they have a say in anything I do with my kid.

[2xx1xy1JD]

There is a certain freedom to finally realizing that ANY choice you make will be criticized by someone. It means that you can stop worrying about what others think and make your own decisions.

[Walking Cat Bed]

I'm childfree because, honestly, I don't want to birth or raise children. I will gladly provide Auntie Services (if I know the parents AND like the kid), but I'll stick with my kitten and any other animals I adopt -- all of which I will (at least try to) train to be friendly with people who I introduce to them. And my books and yarn and academia and smallish living space. (My ideal house has my bedroom/bathroom, a guest bedroom/bathroom, a designated office/library, and kitchen/living space -- and somewhere, probably the office/library, has LOTS of windows and places for pets to steal sunlight.)

I have no problem with people having and raising children, especially those who do so intentionally and with the goal of raising them to be productive adults. I'm not a fan of the Duggars and Bateses and Rodrigueses and others who birth a dozen or more children without thought and focus on maintaining a horde of smiling, obedient kids to kidults, using resources thoughtlessly and grifting (I'm including "selling children's lives for a TV show" as grifting, fyi) for anything they want because they've decided that god thinks they're special and deserve to be given money and things for being special. Especially those who publicly try to influence others' lives while grifting.

[bluelady]

We have one son and we've tried to do it was economically as possible (cloth diapers, buying from consignment shops and sales, hand-me-downs, etc) but it's still surprisingly expensive. I don't even want to think about daycare. And, we're fortunate to have good, stable jobs that pay a decent salary. Because of this, even though I always wanted a large family, if we decide to have more it will be after a good study of our finances and we will limit ourselves to only one more.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Just noticed a post on Kveller on making the question "Do you have any children" taboo.

http://www.kveller.com/do-you-have-any- ... ring-soon/

[Toothfairy]

Besides birth control some churches are even against condoms. They view it as sin because your preventing life from occurring. So everytime you have sex you should be open to life. Yet almost even christian/ Catholic I know use some kind of BC. I believe God invited BC for a reason and gave me a brain.

[whoviana]

Besides birth control some churches are even against condoms. They view it as sin because your preventing life from occurring. So everytime you have sex you should be open to life. Yet almost even christian/ Catholic I know use some kind of BC. I believe God invited BC for a reason and gave me a brain.

There was a priest from either Slovakia or Hungary who was on TV years ago, he left Europe to become a priest in a poverty stricken country, it was his calling, so he went to live in Sao Paolo. Now that guy was as catholic as he could be and he kept educating teenagers who lived in the slums mostly parentless, all sexually active at a very wee age, to always, always wear a condom. He would give out free condoms for young people in the slums just to help stop aids, teenage pregnancies and std's from happening.