NotALoserLikeYou Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Ben's dad has started a blog: seewalds.com/ The first post is about how great it is to marry young Quote Is it just me, or is it an epidemic in conservative, Christian circles? Young people putting marriage off, either intentionally or not, until we all begin to wonder, will they ever get married? These young men and women of excellent character, pushing thirty and beyond, with not a prospect in sight, is troubling. I see this especially among young women, and not only do I think it is sad, but could it be a result of wrong thinking? In many families there is an intentional downplaying of marriage, at least until after the young adult years. Have they become adept at avoiding marriage, and as a consequence, late twenty and thirty something’s not pursuing marriage, or maybe more accurately, not being pursued, and with each passing year their prospects are diminishing? Quote I, for one, don’t agree that putting off marriage is biblical or healthy. Scripture seems to encourage getting married at a younger age and the following passage in Proverbs implies that it is normal for people to be married young. Well this is true: Quote In some conservative, Christian families, there is another factor that further exacerbates the problem. Many fathers, overzealous in protecting their daughters, have made the process so difficult and foreboding for young men to establish any kind of relationship with their daughters that the young men don’t even try, and pursue elsewhere. These fathers can have so many unreasonable hoops to jump through, that the young man sees it as impossible. oh shit: Quote There is also the idea that if a young man or woman has romantic feelings for someone that they are giving a little piece of their heart to them. If it turns out they don’t marry that particular person then there will be less of their heart for their spouse. While there is evidence that this is true in a sexual relationship it is absurd to think it is true of mere romantic feelings. There is no basis for this in Scripture. Parents can guilt their children to death over these feelings which are unavoidable. Second post is about salvation. God is to be feared, and we are all vile sinners. Jesus is the only path to happiness. No attempt to walk you through the sinners prayer like the Duggars because you know, calvinism. on the seewalds.com/about page it says about Ben: Quote Ben loves to encourage people and values relationships. He has recently left the nest, and is pursuing his dreams in northwest Arkansas. And has a little write up about the rest of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelsey Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Just found the link. Not sure if it was previously "found." Seems pretty new. seewalds.com/ It offers proof that Benny-Boy moved out! "Ben loves to encourage people and values relationships. He has recently left the nest, and is pursuing his dreams in northwest Arkansas." - About Us section Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMGO_4 Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 seewalds.com/marrying-young/#more-25 Curious about ppls thought on this. And makes me wonder if he's annoyed with boob for not allowing jessa to marry sooner Edited to break link - lilith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doggie Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Just found the link. Not sure if it was previously "found." Seems pretty new. seewalds.com/ It offers proof that Benny-Boy moved out! "Ben loves to encourage people and values relationships. He has recently left the nest, and is pursuing his dreams in northwest Arkansas." - About Us section dreams AKA penis has drug him to Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laura oz Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 dreams AKA penis has drug him to Arkansas It's times like these that makes me truly wish I had a like button on my mobile screen! I miss that dang thing. Smilies too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeccaGrim Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 http://seewalds.com/marrying-young/#more-25 Curious about ppls thought on this. And makes me wonder if he's annoyed with boob for not allowing jessa to marry sooner I was wondering about this, too. The whole bit about young men at 20 not having the wisdom of 45, of giving them a break and the father's of daughters not letting a guy have a chance to get to know the girl before expecting commitment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMGO_4 Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Right?? It seemed like he was aggravated/frustrated with boob for the lengthy courtship (&pre-courtship). Also makes me wonder who the older young women he was referring to was Jana? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mebeforee Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I'm amazed he actually said the thing about 'giving pieces of your heart' away. I mean, that's been said word-for-word numerous times on the Duggar's show. It's hard to imagine he's not aware of that considering his son is courting Jessa, which really makes it seem like he's specifically calling them out. "There is also the idea that if a young man or woman has romantic feelings for someone that they are giving a little piece of their heart to them. If it turns out they don’t marry that particular person then there will be less of their heart for their spouse. While there is evidence that this is true in a sexual relationship it is absurd to think it is true of mere romantic feelings. There is no basis for this in Scripture. Parents can guilt their children to death over these feelings which are unavoidable." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pennsatuckey Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 http://seewalds.com/marrying-young/#more-25 Curious about ppls thought on this. And makes me wonder if he's annoyed with boob for not allowing jessa to marry sooner Does this guy not realize that people "back then" died really friggin' young? Like, they didn't have reliable medical knowledge, disinfectants, or anything attributable to modern longevity. Just because the Bible says that someone lived to be eleventy doesn't mean that they actually lived that long. It's (I think) the equivalent of "I'm so hungry I could eat a whole horse". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophrosyne Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I thought the same. And it's a rather big move on Mike Seewald's part to poke at Jim Bob this way. I admire his backing his son, given JB's superfundie status. I wonder what prompted it. As Benessa hits the one-year 'anniversary' mark, did Ben ask (perhaps again) JB if he and Jessa could move from courtship to engagement and JB said no? I admire Mike's gumption, but I don't fault JB for slowing down Ben's Lancelot dream quest. From what we've heard, over a couple of months' time, Ben showed up at their church, sidled over to Jessa, and pursued fellowship. Obviously he's not a FJ mole, Secret Agent 00666, but he's not a much decorated knight of the faith either. He's graduated from high school. He's a 'good boy' (however much in violation of the ten commandments, as he confessed in a recent FB post). Winning Jessa would be his biggest, best accomplishment so far. I appreciate JB putting hoops in front of him. We can surmise what they've been: get a job, go to school, move closer to show seriousness of purpose and commitment. Ben accomplished the move. We're uncertain about job and school at this point, since he seems to have left the job and schooling he'd begun near his parents' home. He hasn't Derick's cap feathers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rescinded and Mended Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Geez. Seewald Senior might just as well have subtitled that blog post "A Treatise to Affect the Pursuit and Acquisition of a Duggar Vagina." :roll: Again, I just think it's sad that so much of this nonsense revolves around the pursuit of sexual contact. I think it's wise for them both to wait until Ben is more established in life, but I also wonder if he might get sick of this at some point and back out, especially if no engagement is announced in the fall. In the meantime, Ben, your hands are your friends. No one need know about or fault you for using them to your advantage. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
not.diligent.enough Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Not that I have paid much attention, but I didn't realize Ben was one of seven. I thought he just had the sisters who were shown on the show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconut Flan Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 He met Steve Maxwell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marmalade Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I put this out there yesterday on the Benessa thread, but yeah. A totally passive-aggressive dig at Boob and Gothard. No family bowling nights in the future for Mike and Guinn in Tonitown! :popcorn2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pega127 Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 He met Steve Maxwell. Ben knows Steve? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LurkerOverThePond Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 He met Steve Maxwell. Exactly my thoughts as well. Actually, someone should send his rant to Steve. That might give Stevehovah something to think about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singsingsing Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Not sure how much of a dig at the Duggars it was supposed to be, to be honest. I mean Jim Bob is letting Mr. Seewald's son court one of his own daughters. Jim Bob's eldest son was married at 20, he's got another daughter married at barely 23, and one 21-year-old daughter who will probably be married within the next year. His oldest unmarried and (as far as we know) unattached children aren't even 25 yet. I don't think his diatribe was directed at the Duggars... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mebeforee Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Lmao, this may be the first time I think 'that's reaching...' more to a denial than an accusation on this site... I can't imagine any way that a person could write this kind of a dialogue without realizing how offensive it would be to a person who believed in the whole 'dating is practice for divorce!' courtship model. That is especially true if one's own son is courting a girl from a family who frequently and loudly proclaims this on public television. There's no circumstance in which I'd think that Ben's family didn't look into Jessa's, and if a TLC reality show was available, they probably watched every damn episode before allowing him to pursue her. Though I have to say, it's likely that the Duggars are more lenient with their own children than many families in the lifestyle in terms of courtship. But that's more out of practicality than principle... to be on top of things, they'd have to be way more vigilant and tech-savvy than their own kids. Their older children (especially the girls, from what I've seen) have access to the internet and all have their own smartphones. It's not crazy to think that these girls could be texting (or even SEXTING, gasp!) with their beloveds and then deleting anything questionable without the parents ever knowing. However if that were the case, I'd expect Ben's dad to be as in-the-dark as JimBob. So... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RabbitKM Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Lmao, this may be the first time I think 'that's reaching...' more to a denial than an accusation on this site... I can't imagine any way that a person could write this kind of a dialogue without realizing how offensive it would be to a person who believed in the whole 'dating is practice for divorce!' courtship model. That is especially true if one's own son is courting a girl from a family who frequently and loudly proclaims this on public television. There's no circumstance in which I'd think that Ben's family didn't look into Jessa's, and if a TLC reality show was available, they probably watched every damn episode before allowing him to pursue her. Though I have to say, it's likely that the Duggars are more lenient with their own children than many families in the lifestyle in terms of courtship. But that's more out of practicality than principle... to be on top of things, they'd have to be way more vigilant and tech-savvy than their own kids. Their older children (especially the girls, from what I've seen) have access to the internet and all have their own smartphones. It's not crazy to think that these girls could be texting (or even SEXTING, gasp!) with their beloveds and then deleting anything questionable without the parents ever knowing. However if that were the case, I'd expect Ben's dad to be as in-the-dark as JimBob. So... OMG imaging Jessa sexting Ben.... hahahaha that is too much! The thing is, I can totally see that happening! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mebeforee Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 If any of the girls were to do it, I'd bet on Jessa... she's controlled enough to fool her family but I bet she has all kinds of thoughts she'd like to share with her potential husband... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
16strong Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Some parents feel that a heartbreak is the end of the world for their children, and tend to be overprotective. There is also the idea that if a young man or woman has romantic feelings for someone that they are giving a little piece of their heart to them. If it turns out they don’t marry that particular person then there will be less of their heart for their spouse. While there is evidence that this is true in a sexual relationship it is absurd to think it is true of mere romantic feelings. There is no basis for this in Scripture. Parents can guilt their children to death over these feelings which are unavoidable. We should encourage our children to keep their hearts but don’t blow a gasket if your young person has feelings for someone. These families have become so adept at “protecting†the hearts of their young people that it seems the idea of romance itself is sinful. :clap: Someone finally said it. This passage is for you, Steve. :nenner: On another note, I haven't realized before now just how much Ben looks like his mom. The resemblance to her in her wedding photo is uncanny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singsingsing Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Lmao, this may be the first time I think 'that's reaching...' more to a denial than an accusation on this site... I can't imagine any way that a person could write this kind of a dialogue without realizing how offensive it would be to a person who believed in the whole 'dating is practice for divorce!' courtship model. How? He's basically saying the same thing - that Christians should marry young, as young as possible, to avoid temptation and please God, and that modern dating attitudes are the problem. He's telling fundie fathers not to guard their daughters so much that they end up spinsters at 30 - which is something some fundie families are guilty of (cough-Maxwells-cough) but that the Duggars so far, with no unmarried children over the age of 24 and two daughters either married or heading there in their early 20s, are not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmeraldPickle Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 To Ma and Pa Seewalds credit the about us section had more detail about their children as individuals than Boob and DQ have been able to describe about their children in their entire lives. Even know the Seewald's are still conservative Christians they seem to have allowed their children to have a personality. I know BenBob hasn't been a shining example of personality lately (I really blame this on the fact that he hangs out with the Duggars full time now. And he's most likely being fed Kool-Aid by the 55 gallon drum full now.) By no means does this excuse his actions or make him a good person,he's 19 and thinking with his other head and his Duggar is showing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeebean7 Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 :clap: Someone finally said it. This passage is for you, Steve. :nenner: On another note, I haven't realized before now just how much Ben looks like his mom. The resemblance to her in her wedding photo is uncanny. I agree, he does look a lot like her. It makes me SO happy to see this quote on their blog! I don't agree with the stuff about marrying young, but the obvious digs at courtship are refreshing. Yay Seewald Family. I really liked Ben's parents when they were on the episode double-dating with Jessa and Ben. Too bad Ben is so over-the-top with stuff. I feel bad for Ben that this is the picture they are using for him on the website. As much as he kind of bugs me, there are much nicer pics of him floating around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justme Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Boy, he seems to be speaking directly to Steve Maxwell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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