On Fb - Your baby won't starve w/o WIC whip out the boobs

[FeministShrew]

I tried as hard as I could to breastfeed. I did not succeed, because of inverted nipples (nipple shields are torture devices), no milk (seriously, not even one damn drop - I pumped the hell out of my breasts trying to make the mlk come in!) and an almost 9 pound angry baby screaming her head off because she wanted to eat NOW! The lactation expert at the hospital told me to"let her cry, she won't starve" & the nursery nurse yelled at me & said "This baby needs to eat NOW!" She proceeded to give my baby a bottle without our permission, & that was that. Want to know how rejection feels? Try having your first-born 2-day old baby scream, cry & get red in the face as she pushs your breast away. I gave up after 3 days. I was more concerned with making sure my baby was happy, healthy & fed than being a "real woman."

With my son, same thing. No milk.

I guess I just didn't try hard enough. :?

[Mama Mia]

As for why anyone would get upset about this discussion:

Breastfeeding advocates, somewhat understandably, know that many women may believe that they can't/shouldn't breastfeed based on really bad advice. This was especially a problem when breastfeeding first started to regain popularity after a couple of generations of formula feeding. If I never had anyone but my MIL give me advice, for example, I could have thought that there was a problem because my MIL thought that babies should be fed exactly 4 oz, exactly every 4 hours, and had no idea how nursing on demand worked. The reaction, though, is sometimes to question every mother to see if she REALLY needs formula.

Some of the advocacy has been harsh and judgmental. I love Toronto Public Health, but cringed a bit when I saw their "every baby deserves to be a breastfed baby" posters. I also have a love/hate relationship with Dr. Jack Newman - I love the fact that he was a pioneer in the field of helping women to breastfeed and was truly dedicated to the cause, but hate the fact that he can sometimes act like a prick.

I'm all in favor of information and support, and think there should be more of it. That's not the problem. The problem is in telling women that we don't really trust them when they say that they need to use formula in their specific circumstances.

There's also a problem with pretending that genuine problems are incredibly rare, since nature works so wonderfully well. Sure, doing things the natural way is often a good starting point. At some points, though, you find some folks who are rather fundie in their "natural is better" beliefs. When you have a body that didn't get the memo that nature created it to be perfect, it can really cause someone to hate their body and feel irrational guilt. [i'm not only talking about breastfeeding here - I had a hate list that includes folks like Laura Stanley and Dr. Christiane Northrup, who basically suggest that your body knows how to gestate and birth perfectly, and that difficulties are caused by your own fears or psychological issues. A big chunk of the deep depression that I had after my first missed miscarriage was related to irrational guilt and hatred of my own body, and part of my recovery was saying "fuck that shit - I don't have total control over medical stuff, bad stuff happens more often than people realize for reasons that have nothing to do anything I did or didn't do."]

Mothers are particularly vulnerable to guilt trips from society. When you fall into that gray zone between completely incapable of producing one drop of milk, and breastfeeding with ease, you face a shitload of guilt and pressure. Sure, you'd love to breastfeed - but it will require your body to do better, or require a ton of work via pumping and supplemental systems, or mean that your child is nursing 24/7 and acting hungry until your supply hopefully increases, or mean that you put up with insane pain, or mean that you can't meet the other obligations in your life.

But people also bend over way too far in the other direction as well. Look at this thread, for example. No one is saing that every single woman can breastfeed but even implying that most women can, and that breast milk is the healthiest option, sends people into a rage because of their own particular situation. Look at how many people still give up on breast feeding entirely because they feel the baby isn't getting enough milk before their milk even comes in. Or who stop completely because they can't pump and have to work....when they could still be breastfeeding part time.

Think if this was a thread about vaccines, if a dozen people gave their reasons why they, personally, didn't vaccinate, and they were all perfectly valid health reasons, should everyone else be screamed at for saying that generally vaccines save lives?

And I do think that lactation consultants and the like do a big disservice when they act like exclusively breastfeeding is the only way to go. Because many people stop breastfeeding entirely when it doesn't work for them to never use formula.

[Verin Sedai]

I tried as hard as I could to breastfeed. I did not succeed, because of inverted nipples (nipple shields are torture devices), no milk (seriously, not even one damn drop - I pumped the hell out of my breasts trying to make the mlk come in!) and an almost 9 pound angry baby screaming her head off because she wanted to eat NOW! The lactation expert at the hospital told me to"let her cry, she won't starve" & the nursery nurse yelled at me & said "This baby needs to eat NOW!" She proceeded to give my baby a bottle without our permission, & that was that. Want to know how rejection feels? Try having your first-born 2-day old baby scream, cry & get red in the face as she pushs your breast away. I gave up after 3 days. I was more concerned with making sure my baby was happy, healthy & fed than being a "real woman."

With my son, same thing. No milk.

I guess I just didn't try hard enough. :?

I'm sorry that that happened to you. Your nurse was a jerk to act without your permission in that way (and I know how that feels - I had nurses like that too). For my part, I absolutely do not believe that you acted in anything less than the way you saw best to care for your child.

ETA: You know what this makes me think of, is how policies and hospital rules and all these great ideas are nothing without the compassionate "boots on the ground" of nurses and lactation consultants who know what the hell they are talking about and have decent bedside manner. Two nurses, on paper, may look equal in terms of their training and established support of a newly breastfeeding mom, but once you get into that mom's room with that crying baby and over-tired, over-stressed, over-whelmed new mom, the attitude and kindness of one nurse or the brusqueness and shaming of another nurse can make all the difference in that mother's decision whether or not to continue breastfeeding.

[Mama Mia]

I tried as hard as I could to breastfeed. I did not succeed, because of inverted nipples (nipple shields are torture devices), no milk (seriously, not even one damn drop - I pumped the hell out of my breasts trying to make the mlk come in!) and an almost 9 pound angry baby screaming her head off because she wanted to eat NOW! The lactation expert at the hospital told me to"let her cry, she won't starve" & the nursery nurse yelled at me & said "This baby needs to eat NOW!" She proceeded to give my baby a bottle without our permission, & that was that. Want to know how rejection feels? Try having your first-born 2-day old baby scream, cry & get red in the face as she pushs your breast away. I gave up after 3 days. I was more concerned with making sure my baby was happy, healthy & fed than being a "real woman."

With my son, same thing. No milk.

I guess I just didn't try hard enough. :?

But this is one of the biggest misconceptions about breastfeeding, and WHY education is so important. Your milk isn't even supposed to have come in yet at that point. IMHO both the lactation consultant and the nurse fucked up big time. The lactation consultants make such a huge deal of doing it "right" that they make people feel like shit, and the nurse should of known better.

[OkToBeTakei]

1-3% is the utterly unable to give the child even a drop of milk (no breasts, medication, galactosemia, etc). Takei and Diana think that anyone else could be guilted into 'trying harder'. Whereas the sane majority know that there's a continuum of ease of breastfeeding and there is a huge gray area in the middle independent of support and information where each mother is going to make a decision about how much pain+ time+tears are worth however much breastmilk her child is getting.

Please point out where I tried to guilt ANYBODY into breastfeeding? I believe YOU used the term 'lazy bints' whereas I am happy with well nourished babies and happy Mothers. Possibly you lack the knowledge to decipher sociology from your rather narrow view of the world. Or less politely as we say in Scotland 'away an take a flying fuck to yerself hen' :lol:

For pete's sake, no one said that women should be guilted into trying harder. I think Diana has some language or cultural barriers impeding this discussion (as well as some naivete) and Takei was saying that statistically, breastfeeding rates suffering have less to do with 100% inability of the mother-baby dyad to breastfeed, but with adequate social and medical support of mothers who wish to breastfeed.

There are in fact two ways of looking at the breastfeeding discussion. From the side of the expectant mom/hopeful breastfeeder, we can encourage and give statistics that her chances of being physically unable to feed at all will be low, and offer support in the trenches to make decisions on how to continue a troubled breastfeeding relationship if she wishes it.

Those statistics and means of support should NOT be an offense to the mothers on the other side, who made their decision to discontinue breastfeeding and stand by it. I KNOW there is a lot of judgment towards formula feeding mothers, but this is not what's going on here. What happens with moms who discontinue breastfeeding is between them, their baby, and possibly their doctor or co-parent, in my book. But systemically, we need to be using all the tools we have to help expectant or troubled breastfeeders make the best, most well-informed decisions they can without moms who have stopped feeling that every statistic about the rarity of physical inability or whatnot to be meant personally against them.

This really.

As those statistics show some countries have better success if success is being classed as breastfeeding. It would be interesting to look at rates of HIV and how this affects, or Cleft, some will correlate some will not.

The rates of cleft or tongue tie, maternal health problems, cracked nipples I would guess is vastly similar in Norway as it is in the UK yet they seem to maintain higher rates than the UK. It would be looking at the reasons why that are interesting rather than all the fecking emotive mud slinging shit.

I would suspect it is their favourable maternity leave, cultural acceptance maybe? Incentives maybe?

Societal aspects of culture play a huge part. To just focus on the extremes of each side of such an emotive issue does not actually address the issue. How choice can be accepted and people will not judge each others choices is not so easy though. Women are terribly harsh on one another.

[rward]

I didnt realize the meaning of WIC when i readed the post i just assumed it was the name of baby formula there...ofcourse every baby should have acces to free babyformula if their mother cant breastfeed them.

What i find truly sad is to hear so much women saying i dont have milk, my boobs are too big or my niples are wrong, i mean the nature make us females with the capacity of breatsfeeding our offspring and its so so rare when you really cant do it with appropiate help..and womans didnt receive this help by the pediatricians that are really old fashioned and dont know anything about breatsfeeding and that should be solved too.

One of the things i like about fundies is that they unlike most of the society nowadays give the credit to breatsfeeding that it deserves.

You do get that in nature, babies die, right? Lots of women can't produce enough milk or have nipple issues and lots of babies have latch issues and nature don't care. Naturally, those babies would die.

Seriously, the nature argument is just :doh:

[meda]

My son has a high palate, I have flat nipples. By using a nipple shield, pumping constantly, and not sleeping, I can provide about 50% of his intake from breast milk. This is after he lost 18% of his birthweight and was dehydrated because he was not getting enough milk. He did not regain his birth weight for 4 weeks.

I am at home on leave, have a supportive partner, a supportive pediatrician, 2 great lactation consultants (one is a LLL leader), plenty of education on BFing, and this is the best I can do. The result of my best is that my son's sleep is lousy because of the challenge of feeding on demand this way, it has been harder to bond with my child, feeding him takes priority over everything, including seeing friends and family (every nursing session lasts an hour at least). I an committed to doing this until he is 4 months, and I count down every day until then. For me at this point the whole breast is best, it's better for your baby, blah blah is just condescending bullshit. I don't need more education or "help" to breastfed, I need a son with a differently shaped mouth. I have a feeling that I will look back on this and regret my stubborn insistence on BFing.

[rward]

My son has a high palate, I have flat nipples. By using a nipple shield, pumping constantly, and not sleeping, I can provide about 50% of his intake from breast milk. This is after he lost 18% of his birthweight and was dehydrated because he was not getting enough milk. He did not regain his birth weight for 4 weeks.

I am at home on leave, have a supportive partner, a supportive pediatrician, 2 great lactation consultants (one is a LLL leader), plenty of education on BFing, and this is the best I can do. The result of my best is that my son's sleep is lousy because of the challenge of feeding on demand this way, it has been harder to bond with my child, feeding him takes priority over everything, including seeing friends and family (every nursing session lasts an hour at least). I an committed to doing this until he is 4 months, and I count down every day until then. For me at this point the whole breast is best, it's better for your baby, blah blah is just condescending bullshit. I don't need more education or "help" to breastfed, I need a son with a differently shaped mouth. I have a feeling that I will look back on this and regret my stubborn insistence on BFing.

Have a hug ((())).

My SIL is in much the same position. Her baby lost 15% body weight in 5 days due to lack of supply. Poor little thing just can't get enough to eat now that she's being supplemented with formula.

It's not helping my SIL (she feels so guilty and broken), but studies show that there is very little difference between formula and breast fed babies*. Formula fed babies get one more ear infection and a couple more episodes of diarrhea, but otherwise, by one year no one could pick the breasties out of a crowd of babies. Your son will be fine. More than fine with such a concerned mom and great support system.

*In first world countries. In third world countries, lack of regular supply and dirty water being used to make formula cause entirely different issues.

[August]

But people also bend over way too far in the other direction as well. Look at this thread, for example. No one is saing that every single woman can breastfeed but even implying that most women can, and that breast milk is the healthiest option, sends people into a rage because of their own particular situation. Look at how many people still give up on breast feeding entirely because they feel the baby isn't getting enough milk before their milk even comes in. Or who stop completely because they can't pump and have to work....when they could still be breastfeeding part time.

Think if this was a thread about vaccines, if a dozen people gave their reasons why they, personally, didn't vaccinate, and they were all perfectly valid health reasons, should everyone else be screamed at for saying that generally vaccines save lives?

And I do think that lactation consultants and the like do a big disservice when they act like exclusively breastfeeding is the only way to go. Because many people stop breastfeeding entirely when it doesn't work for them to never use formula.

Go back andread. That is NOT what was said. Takei, Diana and you said that only 1-3% of women can't breastfeed, and anyone else who tried and failed just didn't try hard enough. Which is bullshit. And don't try to make it about adequate info and support, because we dealt with that on the first page. We're discussing an ideal world, where support and information are a given, and yet women's hormones, nipples and their babies mouths often don't sync up properly.

[OkToBeTakei]

Go back andread. That is NOT what was said. Takei, Diana and you said that only 1-3% of women can't breastfeed, and anyone else who tried and failed just didn't try hard enough. Which is bullshit. And don't try to make it about adequate info and support, because we dealt with that on the first page. We're discussing an ideal world, where support and information are a given, and yet women's hormones, nipples and their babies mouths often don't sync up properly.

You are just being a wanker. Or are incredibly challenged intellectually.

1-3 % of women have an absolute physical reason they cannot feed. There are many other reasons medical why feeding is not possible. WHAT part of that do you not understand?

Others do not seem to have a problem understanding the nuance of this discussion which makes me think you are just thick and trying to shit stir for no other reason than as I said you are a wanker today.

[OkToBeTakei]

My son has a high palate, I have flat nipples. By using a nipple shield, pumping constantly, and not sleeping, I can provide about 50% of his intake from breast milk. This is after he lost 18% of his birthweight and was dehydrated because he was not getting enough milk. He did not regain his birth weight for 4 weeks.

I am at home on leave, have a supportive partner, a supportive pediatrician, 2 great lactation consultants (one is a LLL leader), plenty of education on BFing, and this is the best I can do. The result of my best is that my son's sleep is lousy because of the challenge of feeding on demand this way, it has been harder to bond with my child, feeding him takes priority over everything, including seeing friends and family (every nursing session lasts an hour at least). I an committed to doing this until he is 4 months, and I count down every day until then. For me at this point the whole breast is best, it's better for your baby, blah blah is just condescending bullshit. I don't need more education or "help" to breastfed, I need a son with a differently shaped mouth. I have a feeling that I will look back on this and regret my stubborn insistence on BFing.

Meda happy you means happy baby. Why do you feel you need to continue, is the social pressure that severe? I honestly did not give a shit what anybody thought when I changed from breast to bottle.

[Verin Sedai]

You are just being a wanker. Or are incredibly challenged intellectually.

1-3 % of women have an absolute physical reason they cannot feed. There are many other reasons medical why feeding is not possible. WHAT part of that do you not understand?

Others do not seem to have a problem understanding the nuance of this discussion which makes me think you are just thick and trying to shit stir for no other reason than as I said you are a wanker today.

agree. I went back to page one to see what "we've" already dealt with in terms of adequate info and support, but I didn't see this solution that was reached or how it has already been laid to rest for all time. You have a very tall equine there, August.

[Coconut Flan]

There's nothing like fueling the fire to increase the divide.

[fun2beme]

Not to add fuel to the fire, and assuming that the 1-3% figure is correct for women who are physically unable to BF, what are estimates for babies who won't co-operate (allergies, repeated refusals leading to weight loss, etc) and women who may physically be able to BF but are prevented from doing so by medications they take that are likely to have an adverse effect on the baby? Anti-depressants are the first that come to mind but I'm sure there are many more. I'm curious about those figures bc I think they would be significantly higher than 1-3%.

Another caveat I have is that I did statistical work for 5+ years and am leery of relying on research studies no matter how valid the source seems to be. Numbers can easily be manipulated to represent what you want them to while still technically being true. And most truly scientific articles (those published by NIH versus an article in Reader's Digest or Good Housekeeping) assume an extremely high-level statistical background. I've taken PhD level stats courses and can barely get through them so for many readers, the bottom line is not always the bottom line.

Just my two cents.

[2xx1xy1JD]

But people also bend over way too far in the other direction as well. Look at this thread, for example. No one is saing that every single woman can breastfeed but even implying that most women can, and that breast milk is the healthiest option, sends people into a rage because of their own particular situation. Look at how many people still give up on breast feeding entirely because they feel the baby isn't getting enough milk before their milk even comes in. Or who stop completely because they can't pump and have to work....when they could still be breastfeeding part time.

Think if this was a thread about vaccines, if a dozen people gave their reasons why they, personally, didn't vaccinate, and they were all perfectly valid health reasons, should everyone else be screamed at for saying that generally vaccines save lives?

And I do think that lactation consultants and the like do a big disservice when they act like exclusively breastfeeding is the only way to go. Because many people stop breastfeeding entirely when it doesn't work for them to never use formula.

I totally agree with you on how focusing on exclusive breastfeeding can sabotage mothers.

As for the bending too far in the other direction comment - I'm getting a vibe of "hey, why is everyone so super-sensitive?"

I can start a whole separate thread of this, but it's not about a few individuals who happen to be over-sensitive. As a mother, a feminist and a human being, I'm concerned about a culture of shaming women when it comes to anything associated with babies - from fertility to pregnancy to childbirth to childrearing (and of course, birth control and abortion) - and failing to acknowledge that so many factors other than personal "selfish" choices by the mother play a role. Think about how infertility is blamed on career women putting off having kids, how women experiencing trouble conceiving are told to "just relax", how c-section rates are attributed to women being "too posh to push", how women are blamed if something goes wrong in the pregnancy, etc. That culture of shame and blame exists. We need to acknowledge that. Then, we need to figure out how to provide genuinely helpful support to mothers that doesn't reinforce that shame/blame culture, but counter-acts it.

[August]

Not to add fuel to the fire, and assuming that the 1-3% figure is correct for women who are physically unable to BF, what are estimates for babies who won't co-operate (allergies, repeated refusals leading to weight loss, etc) and women who may physically be able to BF but are prevented from doing so by medications they take that are likely to have an adverse effect on the baby? Anti-depressants are the first that come to mind but I'm sure there are many more. I'm curious about those figures bc I think they would be significantly higher than 1-3%.

Another caveat I have is that I did statistical work for 5+ years and am leery of relying on research studies no matter how valid the source seems to be. Numbers can easily be manipulated to represent what you want them to while still technically being true. And most truly scientific articles (those published by NIH versus an article in Reader's Digest or Good Housekeeping) assume an extremely high-level statistical background. I've taken PhD level stats courses and can barely get through them so for many readers, the bottom line is not always the bottom line.

Just my two cents.

You can breastfeed on antidepressants. There's a world of pharmaceuticals out there, but the few I know are chemotherapy, RA drugs, MS, methadone.

[fun2beme]

You can breastfeed on antidepressants. There's a world of pharmaceuticals out there, but the few I know are chemotherapy, RA drugs, MS, methadone.

Thanks for the info. I discussed which meds I can take if/when I'm pregnant with my doc but its been awhile so things prob changed. Unfortunately, I only responded positively to one of the many ADs I tried. I also take a mood stabilizer that hasn't been proven to have adverse effects but hasn't been deemed 100% safe either. But luckily there appear to be more options out there. :)

[dawbs]

You can breastfeed on antidepressants. There's a world of pharmaceuticals out there, but the few I know are chemotherapy, RA drugs, MS, methadone.

You might also find that it's 'allowed' but you'd be hard pressed to find a doc willing to prescribe them. Pamelor is used for migraines and depression and is listed as 'unknown'--couldn't get a doc to give me a script for it to save my life (not quite literally, but, you know).

I'm on beta-blockers and pamelor and basically I was told that nevermind the research, nevermind a willingness to 'time' things (so, since I could take it at noon and know I was 'safe' at midnight, etc), I either had to lie about BFing or insta-wean my child in order to get my 'scripts--and that was after doctor-shopping (I weaned her. In many ways, it was no big deal--she was over a year, healthy, etc. But it was still irritating).

The number of drugs that have zero info re: BFing is astoundingly high...and doctors, with often good reason (but sometimes with an unwillingness to deal with the fact that 'doing nothing' is also dangerous and has consequences) aren't willing to risk the consequences by giving meds to BFing women.

[OkToBeTakei]

Not to add fuel to the fire, and assuming that the 1-3% figure is correct for women who are physically unable to BF, what are estimates for babies who won't co-operate (allergies, repeated refusals leading to weight loss, etc) and women who may physically be able to BF but are prevented from doing so by medications they take that are likely to have an adverse effect on the baby? Anti-depressants are the first that come to mind but I'm sure there are many more. I'm curious about those figures bc I think they would be significantly higher than 1-3%.

Another caveat I have is that I did statistical work for 5+ years and am leery of relying on research studies no matter how valid the source seems to be. Numbers can easily be manipulated to represent what you want them to while still technically being true. And most truly scientific articles (those published by NIH versus an article in Reader's Digest or Good Housekeeping) assume an extremely high-level statistical background. I've taken PhD level stats courses and can barely get through them so for many readers, the bottom line is not always the bottom line.

Just my two cents.

Agree that would be difficult to quantify with such large statistics. I think there are many factors. For instance cleft palate is more common in some cultures than others. HIV is more an issue in some demographics than others.

I suppose to go back to the Norway statistic of high uptake at birth and continued breastfeeding at the six month stage which is higher than the initial uptake in most other countries might be worth looking at. How do they adress these issues. I'm not at all familiar with their health system. Societal wise they are head and shoulders above most in the world.

Not to labour a point I made earlier, women are really harsh on each other over these issues. How that is addressed as 2xx said is a whole other story. How to change that is the holy grail really. How many guys do you hear calling their mate a 'slut' for their sexual conquests? Yes...precisely.

[fun2beme]

@ dawbs, this was a few years ago but my GP told me he'd start me on an AD immediately after birth, assuming I could make it through pregnancy without a serious major depressive episode. He said BF-ing would likely not be an option for me. But my OB/GYN said he works closely with several psychiatrists for patients who have to take medications while PG and my psych nurse practitioner frequently sees pregnant patients. I guess it really depends on a lot of factors.

Wow, the BF/no BF is just as polarizing as the SAHM/working mom debate.

[OkToBeTakei]

Agree that would be difficult to quantify with such large statistics. I think there are many factors. For instance cleft palate is more common in some cultures than others. HIV is more an issue in some demographics than others.

I suppose to go back to the Norway statistic of high uptake at birth and continued breastfeeding at the six month stage which is higher than the initial uptake in most other countries might be worth looking at. How do they adress these issues. I'm not at all familiar with their health system. Societal wise they are head and shoulders above most in the world.

Not to labour a point I made earlier, women are really harsh on each other over these issues. How that is addressed as 2xx said is a whole other story. How to change that is the holy grail really. How many guys do you hear calling their mate a 'slut' for their sexual conquests? Yes...precisely.

92% of women started exclusively breastfeeding in Norway in 2006.

So taking broad strokes of statistics between 1-3% are physically unable. A percentage may be prematurity, a percentage will be medical inability as mentioned. and a percentage may be choice.

By the three month mark 73% continue to exclusively breastfeed although the breastfeed/supplement with formula rate is still high at 88%. So technically are able to breastfeed but supplement which may be the failure to thrive percentage. Medical reasons and choice be it economic physical or social.

I do wonder though of that percentage how many feel like Meda?

Interestingly by the 6mth mark 8% exclusively breastfeed yet the breast/formula mix is still high at 80%.

It is almost like women maybe feel they have to follow a set of guidelines which dictate depending on your demographic X amount of months is the golden egg.

Interesting.

[Librul]

It's interesting how some women who would be outraged at slut shaming or criticizing a woman over an abortion, have no problem criticizing women who do not or cannot breast feed. And yes, quoting statistics at women, basically saying, "everyone can do this but you, stats show you are wrong" is criticizing. It also interesting how women's stories of difficulties are dismissed as a lack of education or support. If it's not your boob or your baby, keep out of it.

[Micah]

Coming out of lurkdom to comment on this one. I don't care what statistics say, or anyone else really. I struggled for three months with BFing. I had plenty of milk, oodles of it in fact. My son would take a drink, spew it all over himself and me, scream for half an hour with colic and then start the whole process over again. I cut EVERYTHING out of my diet that could possibly be causing it, I spoke to doctors, pediatricians, lactation consultants, everyone. They all said, keep persisting, it gets easier, stop eating this, pump before you feed, blah, blah... I was getting less than two hours sleep per night, my baby was losing weight, my partner and I were on the verge of breaking up and I was about to have a complete mental breakdown. My mother (who is completely pro BF) Said, you're going to end up in a psych ward, you can't humanly keep this up. I Put him on formula. Put him on (insanely expensive) goats milk formula. Overnight difference. I slept, he slept. No more colic and I could finally have my morning coffee. I copped HELL for doing it. I got told I was a bad mother, I didn't try hard enough, I should have done this, that, or the other thing. My baby would grow up without a proper bond with me. One doctor told me that the least I could have done was to keep doing it until he was six months old. If a baby is getting fed and the mother is mentally and physically healthy it doesn't matter what they're using to do it. The whole breast feeding issue pisses me the hell off. Yes it is best, but if you're really struggling, put your baby on formula and tell everyone else to fuck off.

[meda]

Meda happy you means happy baby. Why do you feel you need to continue, is the social pressure that severe? I honestly did not give a shit what anybody thought when I changed from breast to bottle.

I think much of the pressure is internal. BFing for me is like having an unmedicated birth is for other women. It was the one thing I really, really wanted to do, and it is rather crushing that it has been so difficult. I also feel that it is better for my son to at least have some breast milk. I will say that I have had some judgement thrown at me from both sides...several people feel that I should try harder to BF, and some feel like I just need to switch to formula and stop "wasting my time". It is one of those emotive issues, and I think many women struggle with BFing. those struggles are not adequately acknowledged by breastfeeding advocates. Statistics don't tell the whole story when looking at how and in what circumstances women BF.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

FYI if anyone wants to check out the best forum for meds and bf this is the best one, it's hosted by Dr. Thomas Hale who is the lead expert on the topic:

http://www.infantrisk.com/forum/forumdi ... ng-Mothers