One mom's ebay listing to "teach daughter a lesson"

[CallmeChaCha]

(I think this goes here...???)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/2 ... 62216.html

A mom decided to sell her daughter's One Direction concert tickets because of bad behavior. From the description on the ebay listing, it sounds like the daughter and her friends lied to their parents so they could go hang out at some older guy's house. While I understand the need to punish her daughter for lying to her, I don't agree with parents shaming their children publicly. What's the point? How are they supposed to learn their lesson if they're most likely more worried about what their peers are going to think about the nasty-worded ebay listing than about actually absorbing that what they did was not okay and to not do it again? Way too harsh.

I keep seeing stuff like this lately. Parents telling their children to stand on corners holding signs. The latest one on the news was a woman who told her tween daughter (11 years old, I think) to stand on the corner of an intersection holding a sign about how the girl twerked at her school dance. Yeah, I'm sure nobody wants their 11-year old to imitate Miley's VMA performance, but I fail to see how the girl is supposed to learn that it's bad. Because Mom told her stand near a busy intersection with a sign, so it's bad, and that's it? I get the sense that some of these parents do these things to get attention themselves.

ebay listing for your reading enjoyment:

THIS AUCTION IS FOR ALL 4 ONE DIRECTION TICKETS IN SYDNEY OCTOBER 25th. You can thank my daughters self righteous and lippy attitude for their sale. See sweety? And you thought I was bluffing. I hope the scowl on your bitchy little friends faces when you tell them that your dad and i revoked the gift we were giving you all reminds you that your PARENTS are the ones that deserve love and respect more than anyone. And your silly little pack mentality of taking your parents for fools is one sadly mistaken. Anyhow. Your loss someone else's gain who deserves them! THE TICKETS ARE SEATED IN ROW O section 57. REMEMBER AUCTION IS FOR ALL 4 TICKETS and will be sent registered post

...OH YOUR FRIENDS THOUGHT THAT A FEW PRANKS CALLS WOULD PUT ME OFF SELLING THE GIFT WE BOUGHT FOR THEM for YOUR BIRTHDAY because YOU all LIED to us about sleep overs so you could hang like little trollops at an older guys HOUSE????? Pffft!! I find it HIGHLY amusing that you girls think you invented this stuff. Tricks like this on OUR parents is how HALF of you were conceived .....And why a lot of your friends DONT have an address to send that Fathers day card to!!! I'm not your friend. I'm your MOTHER. And I am here to give you the boundaries that YOU NEED to become a functional responsible adult. You may hate me now..... But I don't care. Its my job to raise a responsible adult..not nuture bad habits in my teen age child

OTOH, if the story about the daughter and/or the lying is false, it's certainly a good way to get high bids for the tickets.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I agree that this is an unnecessarily cruel way to punish a child. Whether or not the punishment of the mother selling her child's concert tickets fits the crime of sneaking around with an older man is open to debate, but the wording of this listing will engender only anger and resentment in the heart of her daughter. A personal family problem of this nature shouldn't be put on display in such an aggressive, vindictive way.

The daughter will remember her mother's callous treatment of her feelings long after she has forgotten the name of the band she wanted to see. It wouldn't surprise me if they have serious problems in their relationship many years from now, if the daughter even continues speaking to her mother by then.

[Miggy]

Tickets are usually sold on the condition that you are not allowed to resell. (To stop scalping.) To punish the daughter the mother is breaking the law? That's a great lesson. Hope she gets caught.

[louisa05]

This has become something of a trend, though. Do something to publicly humiliate your child as a consequence for bad behavior and you get to become an internet sensation and be congratulated for your excellent parenting. Except that it is actually spectacularly bad parenting.

I wish the internet would get tired of it so it would stop.

[Peas n carrots]

The mother comes off as more immature than her daughter. Nice dig at the other girls and their mothers by saying they don't know where their fathers are.

I hope this is a fake situation concocted to sell tickets, but if not shame on that mother.

[pirate]

Who would buy those tickets after that description? I'd be ashamed.

[Mela99]

It's one thing to take the tickets away, it's another thing to call your kid and her friends illegitimate sluts.

[laura oz]

The only things I agree with are taking the tickets away, and the mom saying she wasn't her friend but her mother. Of course, had my mom implied my friends were illegitimate and taken out an ad for goodness sake, I doubt she and I would have been all that friendly when I grew up. I'm actually appreciative of all the times she tracked my sneaky ass down.... now that I'm a parent. There was nowhere I could go that she couldn't sniff my trail. I used to joke with her that she must have been a drug sniffing hound for the cops in a past life. But back to the topic, scalping is illegal and so much of what was in that advertisement was so wrong that I can't even find a stick with the capabilities that would be required to shake at it.<----Tried to re-word that several times to make it sound like the phrase "more messed up than I can shake a stick at" and that was the best attempt. :mrgreen: Why not just give the tickets to a radio station to use as a give away, or give them to a charity so someone could enjoy them and it would be building good karma?

[Dinaberries]

I think reselling concert tickets is legal in New South Wales.

My husband read this to me yesterday and initially, I thought it was a good idea to take away the tickets (well, I still do), but the additional comments the mother made were very cruel and uncalled for. I particularly was bothered by the way she insulted her daughter's friends for not having fathers present in their lives. That's a very immature comment for an adult to make about children. I agree that parents should be parents and not friends, but I don't think this was a good way to parent.

[tropaka]

If the parent had put something up like "in lying to us you lost your chance to go to this concert" I'd be fine with it. The namecalling ("trollops"?) etc. make the parent look just as immature as their child (and a child is supposed to be immature). Parental fail.

[FreeJosie]

I also cannot stand the public shaming of kids. It screams "LOOK AT ME!" on the parents' part. If this mother wants to take the tickets away, then that's at her discretion, but there is no reason for her to speak of her daughter and her daughter's friends that way on the Internet. Reminds me of that tool who shot his daughter's laptop.

[tenth muse]

I think this is more likely to breed resentment and problems in their relationships than to straighten her daughter out.

Humiliate a child, and they will learn from it, but never in a good way.

[pirouette]

I saw this posted somewhere else, where somebody had commented "Mom's a drama queen. Still don't know where the kids get their attitude though!" I agree completely.

[2xx1xy1JD]

As a mom, I'd have no problem taking away concert tickets if my daughter seriously breached my trust.

I would NOT, however, ever use language like that, esp. on a public forum. This woman is supposed to be a role model for her daughter. My kids will never hear words like bitchy or trollop to describe them or their friends, and they will never hear me insult anyone by suggesting that they were born out of wedlock (occasional outburst of "that bastard!" notwithstanding).

If I'm going to take something away, I do it swiftly, calmly and with quiet authority, because I'm a mature adult. That mom shows less maturity than her daughter.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I can think of an instance in my childhood when my mother bought me tickets to a concert I really wanted to attend. She was always a domineering parent, but that mentality got ratcheted up to 11 after the tickets came into the picture. They were used mercilessly as an excuse to browbeat me and get her way, and it didn't really matter if I was right or wrong in the situation. I didn't really give her a lot of trouble when I think about it. I didn't sneak out, do drugs, steal or drink, it was just the normal mother-daughter bickering that goes on between a 13-year-old and her mom. Not a day passed where I didn't hear the words, "If you don't do x I will take away the tickets and shred them." At one point, I almost hoped she'd do it just so the arguments would stop.

I was quite surprised when the day came and we actually DID make it to the concert.

I guess my point is that I can see where the wrong type of parenting comes into play, and if ebay had been around back then, my mother would have handled the situation just as poorly as this poor girl's did.

[RandomTrivia]

I wonder what the friends' parents think - the mom here has basically trashed the other moms publicly, as well as calling their daughters names, not to mention the concert plans that have been cancelled. Whether or not the other girls were lying to their parents, the public name-calling might end a couple of friendships.

[miffy]

She could have just sold the tickets without the name calling & grounded her daughter, it would have had the same effect.

[JesusFightClub]

As a mom, I'd have no problem taking away concert tickets if my daughter seriously breached my trust.

I would NOT, however, ever use language like that, esp. on a public forum. This woman is supposed to be a role model for her daughter. My kids will never hear words like bitchy or trollop to describe them or their friends, and they will never hear me insult anyone by suggesting that they were born out of wedlock (occasional outburst of "that bastard!" notwithstanding).

If I'm going to take something away, I do it swiftly, calmly and with quiet authority, because I'm a mature adult. That mom shows less maturity than her daughter.

Totally agree.

I might have withheld the tickets if I was a mum and I thought the kid had behaved badly enough to warrant it. I would not resell them, because I'm the parent and I take the hit. I would never use terms like "trollop" or "bitchy" to describe children, and never would use the term "trollop" to describe anyone.

This is a classic case of people not knowing that the Internet does not forget. Nor does it forgive, and the child won't either.

In re the mum who made the 11-year old hold up a sign about her twerking, I don't know why she didn't go the whole way and make her hold up a sign saying "I am a young girl who likes to think, due to naivety, she's sexually available! I'm standing here to tell passing motorists, in case they'd be interested!".

Seriously. Who makes their kid hold up a sign to say that they did a dance with sexual overtones? If I was the mum, I would have laughed first then explained to my daughter that while it's an interesting and fun dance, she's 11 and too young for it. That would be it in my book. Telling any passing paedo she's fond of dancing in a way that could be interpreted as sexual? Not such a good idea.

[Patsy]

In a shocking twist, the mother made it up.

[JesusFightClub]

In a shocking twist, the mother made it up.

Possible, innit :lol:

[theCR]

I feel silly what is a trollop?

[Mela99]

I feel silly what is a trollop?

Old fashioned way of saying slut/whore/harlot.

[Patsy]

Possible, innit :lol:

Sorry, I meant she actually has admitted to it. Posting from an actual computer now, so link: http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/mus ... 2ukzw.html

[RandomTrivia]

Sorry, I meant she actually has admitted to it. Posting from an actual computer now, so link: http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/mus ... 2ukzw.html

That kind of makes it worse - that she would call her kid and her kid's friends names like that, just for a way to get more bids. Not that it wasn't a lousy, shitty thing to do in the first place, but jeez.

[CallmeChaCha]

In a shocking twist, the mother made it up.

I guess that's better than treating her daughter like crap, who is actually 10 years old, not a teen.

http://au.ibtimes.com/articles/510087/2 ... ia-nsw.htm

"The amount of emails I’ve had of support has been astronomical. Of 2500 emails I have opened out of about 4000, I have received only five negative comments."