Just Got Invited a Hasidic Wedding!

[Ralar]

I just received an invitation to my cousin's daughter's wedding. Most of that branch of the family tree are Modern Orthodox, but this particular cousin is Hasidic (her mother's family is/was Hasidic, although her mother became much more traditional around the time she married into our family). The wedding should be very interesting as they are Kossoner Hasidim, a much more insular group than the Chabadnicks I am used to seeing and interacting with. The bride is a few months shy of 18 and the groom is 19. I saw them recently at another wedding and they seem very happy. They chose one another; not an arranged marriage.

I will definitely report back, but I don't know that I will post pics of my own family (even though they are distant family) on a snark board.

[Jana814]

Sounds like an interesting wedding. Do u know how they met.

[longskirts]

Considering that those groups don't allow any social interaction between men and women, how could they have chosen each other?

Usually what happens is a matchmaker sets a couple up for 2-3 semi-private conversations, and they decide based on that if they want to go ahead with a marriage--in general the answer is yes unless there's a major problem with one of the teens or their families. Not technically arranged, but not what I'd call choosing either.

[Ralar]

Considering that those groups don't allow any social interaction between men and women, how could they have chosen each other?

Usually what happens is a matchmaker sets a couple up for 2-3 semi-private conversations, and they decide based on that if they want to go ahead with a marriage--in general the answer is yes unless there's a major problem with one of the teens or their families. Not technically arranged, but not what I'd call choosing either.

The chossen (groom) was the tutor for one of the kallah's (bride) younger brothers. I'm not sure how well they know one another, or if a matchmaker was involved, but they definately knew one another through the chossen's interaction with the kallah's family.

[longskirts]

The chossen (groom) was the tutor for one of the kallah's (bride) younger brothers. I'm not sure how well they know one another, or if a matchmaker was involved, but they definately knew one another through the chossen's interaction with the kallah's family.

That's good that they know each other, but honestly very surprising.

[Ralar]

Here are some pics from the wedding:

Believe it or not, both the bride and groom are in school! He is studying computer science and she is studying physical therapy. I had a hard time believing that she's studying PT, but I checked the program offerings at Stern College (Yeshiva University's women's college) and sure enough, they have a PT program.

I would not want my 17yo daughter or 19yo son to marry so young, but in their community that is expected. At least they are going to school and they seem very happy.

[ladyaudley]

her dress is GORGEOUS! any idea where she got it? ^^

[Ralar]

her dress is GORGEOUS! any idea where she got it? ^^

I don't know where she got her dress, but I could ask. I guess her dress proves that modest dresses don't have to be ugly or have a t-shirt "lining."

[Black Aliss]

The dress is nice, but I want to know more about the men's hats!

[Ralar]

The dress is nice, but I want to know more about the men's hats!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shtreimel

[stonefruit]

Wow, mazal tov to your relatives! Agreed that her dress is quite lovely. What did you think of the wedding?

Isn't it pretty common for very frummie women to train as PT/OT/SLPs? They tend to have flexible hours and scheduling. I feel like I've seen those professions represented a lot. Teachers, too, now that I think of it.

[Sumeri]

Also loving the dress, just beautiful. Much different than the modest horrors we see on some Evangelical Christians.

[Sola]

Her dress is lovely. Compare that to the monstrosity thast J'chelle wore when she renewed her vows.

[nokidsmom]

I have seen some really lovely modest dresses worn by Hasidic brides. It just surprises me how many fundie brides' dresses are so....meh. Some are handmade and not well, some look like they are ordered/bought but no alterations are done or alterations made are atrocious (as in J'chelle's dress) but only a very few actually look good.

[cindyluvs24]

Luckily, this gal wasn't preggers like J'chelle or have that stringy hair thing going on. Honestly, with all of the time and money TLC put into the renewal show, nobody could take J'chelle aside for 15 minutes and brush her hair? Not for nuthin' but did she not feel funny expecting #18 and wearing a full wedding dress? (kinda like putting gas in a car you already crashed)

[2xx1xy1JD]

Wow, mazal tov to your relatives! Agreed that her dress is quite lovely. What did you think of the wedding?

Isn't it pretty common for very frummie women to train as PT/OT/SLPs? They tend to have flexible hours and scheduling. I feel like I've seen those professions represented a lot. Teachers, too, now that I think of it.

That's my understanding. In those communities, the message has gone out that these are professions where you can earn decent money while being able to work from home or schedule your time around Jewish holidays and kids' schedules. Teachers and child care providers fill a need within the community as well, but it's harder to support a large family on those incomes. Since women have fewer prayer and religious study obligations in these communities, they tend to have better secular educations than their husbands, and in some circles it's very common for them to be the breadwinners.

Other common "frum girl" jobs include:

- graphic designer

- accounting and bookkeeping

- website design

- office administration

- medical billing and transcription (because it can be done from home)

- computer programming and software testing

[ILoveJellybeans]

The dress is pretty. Fundie brides could learn a lot from other cultures that practice modesty and manage not to look frumpy.

[Ralar]

That's my understanding. In those communities, the message has gone out that these are professions where you can earn decent money while being able to work from home or schedule your time around Jewish holidays and kids' schedules. Teachers and child care providers fill a need within the community as well, but it's harder to support a large family on those incomes. Since women have fewer prayer and religious study obligations in these communities, they tend to have better secular educations than their husbands, and in some circles it's very common for them to be the breadwinners.

Other common "frum girl" jobs include:

- graphic designer

- accounting and bookkeeping

- website design

- office administration

- medical billing and transcription (because it can be done from home)

- computer programming and software testing

Apparently (same sex) massage therapy is okay also. The bride's sister just asked, on FB, for name suggestions for her SIL's massage therapy practice. Another of her SIL jumped in to say she might "steal" one of the names for her practice. Makes me wonder if the young bride is studying massage therapy, rather than PT.

[ladyamylynn]

I like to lurk on onlysimchas.com to check out the clothes. Lots of pretty, non-frumpy long-sleeved dresses for both the bride and her wedding party. Also, the men's clothing can be so festive and ornate, too. I also love traditional Indian wedding outfits.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Apparently (same sex) massage therapy is okay also. The bride's sister just asked, on FB, for name suggestions for her SIL's massage therapy practice. Another of her SIL jumped in to say she might "steal" one of the names for her practice. Makes me wonder if the young bride is studying massage therapy, rather than PT.

PT is more prestigious, so if the girl is bright and has good grades, that's probably what she's in.

[ADoyle90815]

Her dress is lovely. Compare that to the monstrosity thast J'chelle wore when she renewed her vows.

I agree, and I also think that Mormons and fundies can learn a lot from other cultures that value modesty, as there are ways to be covered up without looking frumpy. From what I've seen in pictures, Mormon brides sometimes wear dresses that look like a satin t-shirt sewn onto a ballgown skirt.

[Ralar]

Since several of you commented on the dress, I posted a picture that better shows it off.

[flyawaystray]

Such a lovely dress! If that were me, I'd be tripping. But I'm a klutz, so :P

I really like the belt/sash. It's gorgeous.

[Jana814]

Great pictures that u posted!! I agree I love her dress also.

[Ralar]

PT is more prestigious, so if the girl is bright and has good grades, that's probably what she's in.

I agree. I'm not sure about her high school education. She did not go to SODRT, rather she went to a small girls' yeshiva. Her mother attended college (I don't know if she graduated) so higher education may have been encouraged. OTOH, when her parents met, her Brooklyn-born father barely spoke English. His family spoke Yiddish at home and the languages at school were Yiddish and Hebrew.