Women should hand over their paychecks to their husbands

[louisa05]

This is exactly what I want my future money handling with partner to look like.

This is just another technique with which abusive men take power away from their wives. How can you get out of a relationship that's unhealthy if you don't have access to all your money?

I'm surprised she's not advocating that the women have no access to the accounts and the husband just hands the wife cash every week :roll:

We did do this until I ended up without a full time job. Now he pays the bills from his check and I buy the food from my paltry income.

When I worked at Christian school, they hired a just out of college teacher once who did not have a bank account in her own name, she had been married five years (at 22) and all the money was in her husband's name. They did not want her to have an account with her name on it or have her name on his as that would not be submissive. But the payroll company would not deposit her paycheck in an account without her name on it. They begged the school to issue a paper check made out to her husband, but were told that for tax and legal reasons, her paycheck could not be made out to someone else. They had to put her name on his checking account. I'm sure she still had no access to it.

Same couple also wanted him to sign her teaching contract because women should not enter legal contracts, especially not married women who have husbands to do it for them. Again, it was explained to them that that would not be legal.

[fun2beme]

Treating your wife like a donkey makes you an ass. ;)

[ohnomoe]

Sunshine Mary is an ass.

On a side note I always like hearing what other couples do with their finances though because we haven't really worked ours out. We keep separate accounts and take a whoever pays pays approach to spending. My partner earns significantly more than I do so he tends to pay for more (e.g rent) but there is no real set way we do things. Would you believe sometimes I order and pay for his meals when we go out? Madness! Eventually when we buy a place and have kids I know we will have to come up with a more formal arrangement for finances so I like to peak into the way other people do things.

[curlytoes79]

My husband and I have a joint account where our paychecks are deposited. But we also have small separate accounts that we can use to deposit birthday money, bonuses from work, anything we earn outside our jobs, etc. My husband is currently socking away money in his separate account to buy a sports car that I don't want him to get. But the separate account is his money, so I can't really say anything. :doh:

[Arete]

When I worked at Christian school, they hired a just out of college teacher once who did not have a bank account in her own name, she had been married five years (at 22) and all the money was in her husband's name. They did not want her to have an account with her name on it or have her name on his as that would not be submissive. But the payroll company would not deposit her paycheck in an account without her name on it. They begged the school to issue a paper check made out to her husband, but were told that for tax and legal reasons, her paycheck could not be made out to someone else. They had to put her name on his checking account. I'm sure she still had no access to it.

Same couple also wanted him to sign her teaching contract because women should not enter legal contracts, especially not married women who have husbands to do it for them. Again, it was explained to them that that would not be legal.

There is no cure for this kind of stupidity. None.

[salex]

There is no cure for this kind of stupidity. None.

However, it was not that long ago that this was more or less normal. I have friends who are 10 years older than I (making them early-mid 60s) who, despite having a good job in the 70s, when they divorced they could not get a credit card without their father (who I believe earned less than they) cosigning. My SIL had an MBA and a management job at a fortune 500 company and people balked at giving her a mortgage without a husband or a father involved. In the early 80s, we explained to a car salesman that I was looking for a car--in particular a 2 seater. He took my HUSBAND on the test drive and as soon as they were back, we left.

It was not that long ago (mid last century, or later) that women who married bringing property into a marriage might have to pay inheritance tax on that property if their husband died. And go back a few decades before that and if they married and their spouse died, his children might inherit the property the wife had brought into the marriage.

I feel the gains are fragile, which is why I rejoice that these people don't seem to pursue education, but I mourn that they seem so successful politically.

[walnut]

I have changed my mind about her brain tumor. I hope she fucking dies.

[Arete]

However, it was not that long ago that this was more or less normal. I have friends who are 10 years older than I (making them early-mid 60s) who, despite having a good job in the 70s, when they divorced they could not get a credit card without their father (who I believe earned less than they) cosigning. My SIL had an MBA and a management job at a fortune 500 company and people balked at giving her a mortgage without a husband or a father involved. In the early 80s, we explained to a car salesman that I was looking for a car--in particular a 2 seater. He took my HUSBAND on the test drive and as soon as they were back, we left.

It was not that long ago (mid last century, or later) that women who married bringing property into a marriage might have to pay inheritance tax on that property if their husband died. And go back a few decades before that and if they married and their spouse died, his children might inherit the property the wife had brought into the marriage.

I feel the gains are fragile, which is why I rejoice that these people don't seem to pursue education, but I mourn that they seem so successful politically.

Yes, but even in the 60s and 70s men did not sign their wives' employment contracts, and women had bank accounts in their own names. These people are making new shit up as they go along.

[Arete]

I have changed my mind about her brain tumor. I hope she fucking dies.

You're out of luck there, because these nuggets of wisdom come from Sunshine Mary, not Lori Alexander. Easy to confuse them, as they are both in a race for the bottom in the Asinine Twat Olympics.

[snuggles911]

The comments have gotten worse. A man named Scott who claims to be the husband of the woman who emailed Sunshine Mary about how to be more submissive left this nugget:

SO, a couple of things. Mychael may or may not be back to comment. She is like a scared little bunny. Without getting way into the details of our marriage (although we may do a little of that over at our site as we get more comfortable with the idea)–here are the “concrete†things she has tried so far. I think they are a great start, and it is the kind of thing she is asking for more of:

1. I started buying dresses and skirts for her, and not really making it an option that I want to see them more–even for mundane things like grocery shopping. She seems to like that.

2. She has been explaining to her friends that “Scott decided (or told me to) that I am quitting my job next year.†This has begun to help her change her view on who actually made the decision.

3. I have told her the next time we go out, I will order for her.

4. And some others.

I couldn't imagine going to a restaurant and having my husband order my meal as if I were a child. And, I'd be humiliated if I had to tell my friends that my husband made a decision for me or told me to do something.

[salex]

The comments have gotten worse. A man named Scott who claims to be the husband of the woman who emailed Sunshine Mary about how to be more submissive left this nugget:

I couldn't imagine going to a restaurant and having my husband order my meal as if I were a child. And, I'd be humiliated if I had to tell my friends that my husband made a decision for me or told me to do something.

Sometimes hubs orders for me, sometimes I order for him and sometimes we both order. We travel a lot, and also eat out during the week off and on (long work hours) and sometimes we are out just to eat something. And, we often split meals. If we happen to be the restaurant nearest our office where we are regulars, either of us know what we'll be ordering, to split and we also know the calorie count LOL.

Years ago, my husband's brother asked my husband why he was letting me change my major from Business to English Lit. We both laugh about that question even today.

[Arete]

I wonder if some of these guys writing in are making things up.

[tenth muse]

Seriously, what the hell? What a bunch of sad wankers.

[EmiGirl]

When I worked at Christian school, they hired a just out of college teacher once who did not have a bank account in her own name, she had been married five years (at 22) and all the money was in her husband's name. They did not want her to have an account with her name on it or have her name on his as that would not be submissive. But the payroll company would not deposit her paycheck in an account without her name on it. They begged the school to issue a paper check made out to her husband, but were told that for tax and legal reasons, her paycheck could not be made out to someone else. They had to put her name on his checking account. I'm sure she still had no access to it.

Same couple also wanted him to sign her teaching contract because women should not enter legal contracts, especially not married women who have husbands to do it for them. Again, it was explained to them that that would not be legal.

I wouldn't want a person like this teaching my child anything - especially not a daughter.

[Angharad Crewe]

I wouldn't want a person like this teaching my child anything - especially not a daughter.

I'm surprised the school didn't rescind their job offer. And even if you are into being a submissive wife, isn't it a good idea to have access to bank accounts and such in case of an emergency? I get that some people might not want anything to do with paying bills or the household budget, but being completely ignorant is probably not the best idea.

[aveline]

So it's ok for a man to hand his paycheck over to his wife and receive an allowance?

[Anny Nym]

So it's ok for a man to hand his paycheck over to his wife and receive an allowance?

To what are you refering?

[Pam]

I wonder if some of these guys writing in are making things up.

Yeah, you really have to wonder about that when you read some of their gems, such as this one from Ton

Chicks have a hard time controlling what they say because they don’t get punched in the mouth for flapping their gums when they are little

It's like they're having a virtual dick-measuring party there. Oh, Ton, you're the BIGGEST, you're the BEST, you he-man woman-hater, you!! :roll:

[Sumeri]

We have way too many accounts, but that's the only way it works for us. My husband is terrible with money, he has ADHD and things like tracking were always a nightmare. He also makes significantly more money than I do, like twice as much, so both of us contributing an equal amount to bills wasn't fair. We BOTH work for the benefit of our family, so the actual dollar amount we make shouldn't come into consideration when our bills reflect the family's needs, kwim?

So we have a joint account that we use for bills only (daycare, mortgage, insurance, utilities, car payment...things that don't vary much from month to month). Both of us deposit our whole paycheck into that account. We then divide what is left 50/50 and keep it in our own accounts and we are totally responsible for that money with no interference from the other. He has a more expensive lifestyle than I do because of his job; for example he eats out every day and that costs much more than me eating at home, but it's expected where he works and much schmoozing goes on during those lunches. I make up for that by buying the majority of the groceries from "my" money. In other words, we both have control of the spending AND all the bills get paid! Amazing.

Honestly, it makes me nervous when either half of a partnership surrenders their earnings to the other, for lots of reasons, but what if the other half dies? If you have no idea where the money is, or if you have any money, or how to use the password to access the money -- what do you do?

[Vex]

I notice a recurring theme of 'you need to work to stop yourself from being resentful'.

It seems to me that if you're in a situation where you have to actively work to stem your natural inclination to feel resentful and controlled, you're in a really shitty situation. That's not the devil working on your heart, that is your brain telling you that you're in a bad situation and you need to get out!

[Peas n carrots]

Manly Beta He-Men...here is an Alpha who likes his wimmin' "behind the wheel"

0vR4fJ5pUPY

Louisa that is a scary story. I'm surprised that much of a controlling ass had his wife in the work force. Did she get along with the rest of the teaching staff? Or did she not talk to all those man hating feminists who had access to their joint bank accounts?

[salex]

So it's ok for a man to hand his paycheck over to his wife and receive an allowance?

That happens in a lot of households, actually.

[formergothardite]

So it's ok for a man to hand his paycheck over to his wife and receive an allowance?

What is your opinion on it? Is it okay? Not okay?

My opinion is that couples need to figure out what works for them. I have friends where the husband isn't great with finances so he deposits the money, the wife pays all the bills and tells him how much spending money he has. I know other couples where it works that way except it is the husband handling the money and telling the wife how much spending money she has. Others where they both have their own accounts and divide the bills between them. There is no one way that works will work perfectly for all couples like SSM is claiming.

[Artemis]

During the last century, in quite a lot of working class English households, when men were paid in cash every week, it was common for the man to hand over everything but his pocket money to the wife. (As an example, in the 1910s, a man earning 25 shillings a week might keep four shillings, and hand over 21 to his wife.)

From that money, she was responsible for paying the rent, buying all the food, budgeting for clothes and boots, paying the burial insurance, and having a little put by for a rainy day. She managed the money, and this was the norm, not the exception. My mother and grandmother did it, and so did my mother in law. Decent men gave the money to the wife, to spend on the kids, and they were sparing with what they took for themselves, and self-denying about how much beer they took.

His money bought anything he needed - an occasional half pint of beer, his lunch when he was at work, travel, a union sub. And these weren't Beta men, they were miners/factory workers/totally masculine blokes. They saw it as a woman's job to manage the household, and for that she needed most of the money to lay out AS SHE SAW FIT. (Shocking, yes?). Having a wife who was a good manager was a matter for pride, but so was giving her as much of your wages as you could.

In some factories/workplaces it wasn't unknown for the wage to be paid over to the WIFE at the end of the week, for the man's work - and I have actually been there and seen this happen. In the seventies, my Dad managed a factory. His workers got a pay envelope of cash weekly. Dad had a list of men to whom he would NOT hand over that envelope. Their wives called for it at 4pm on Friday, he gave them the envelope in front of their husbands, and watched while the wife opened it, checked it, and gave her husband what she was allowing him for pocket money that week. Otherwise the whole amount would have gone on betting or booze, and there would have been nothing to eat in that house. (And the men knew that if they tried it on with their wives afterwards, they'd complain to Dad and they would be in trouble.)

I'd like to see an MRA comment on that . . . . because again, these were not 'pussywhipped Betas' but men who could throw a sack of cement over their shoulder, and who were all machismo. And arguably they were far more men than these whinging MRA types, because they recognised that there was only one way to deal with their weaknesses. Because, you see, if they had insisted, Dad would have had to give them the money, in law, but they knew that it was better for the family for him to hand it to their wives, who would make proper use of it.

[Gertie]

So it's ok for a man to hand his paycheck over to his wife and receive an allowance?

If that's how the couple decides to handle it because that's how it works best for them, then yes, it's ok. If the husband had to hand over his paycheck to the wife because of a belief that women are superior to men and should be making all the decisions (regardless of the individuals' personal strengths or weaknesses or their circumstances), then no, not okay.