"Don't Show My Son That"

[PinkPrincess0213]

I didn't see much on this blogger anywhere on the site. She's one of the first fundie bloggers that I read back when she was blogging at Created to Be His. (They certainly change blog addresses a lot!)

Anyway, this entry really bothered me....I just don't like putting the idea that putting a little girl in a bikini is somehow inappropriate because some day her son might look at girls in a bikini? (I personally put my daughters in tankinis, but that's mostly to help protect from the sun; I could not care less how anyone else feels about it.) I can't quite wrap my mind around it. I guess I feel like if they don't want their son to see that, maybe they need to evaluate a yearly trip to the beach then.

wherejoyis.blogspot.com/2013/07/dont-show-my-son-that.html#.Uebajhagg6I

[ILoveJellybeans]

If she didnt make a big fuss about it and made it seem something forbidden and naughty, chances are, he wouldnt care.

[Sumeri]

and not only did she put her baby daughter in a bikini, but one in an American Flag print! :snooty:

wherejoyis.blogspot.com/2013/06/is-it-ever-okay-to-be-immodest.html

[Minerva]

Some of these precious girls playing alongside my little boy were wearing string bikinis that matched their mothers'.

I'm not okay with that.

Too. Damn. Bad. You wear what you want. Other people wear what they want. You either learn to deal with it like a normal person, or you become a hermit. Welcome to society.

[JesusFightClub]

This is what we call "utterly freakish".

She shifts her worries about her son from toddlers tempting him to fully grown women tempting him. He's a small child. Seriously, get a grip.

Smaller runs around in the nude because she likes the comfy feeling of being undressed. This is about as sexual as the least sexual thing you could imagine. In large parts of the world, children don't wear adult clothes and constantly cover up. They are weans, they are sweet and one looks on them indulgently, WITHOUT dwelling on their pornographic potential. Dwelling on their pornographic potential is what paedos do.

I would also say that a. I am not worried that small children will get horny over seeing me in a swimming costume (what?) and b. Christians don't get to order the whole world as it suits them. Why is this mum asking all women, everywhere, not to do anything that might tempt preshus some time in the future to look upon a woman's thighs? Lady, I don't belong to the ridiculous interpretation of Christianity you do, and therefore I care not a button if preshus sees me in a bikini or anything else.

[Minerva]

This is what we call "utterly freakish".

She shifts her worries about her son from toddlers tempting him to fully grown women tempting him. He's a small child. Seriously, get a grip.

Smaller runs around in the nude because she likes the comfy feeling of being undressed. This is about as sexual as the least sexual thing you could imagine. In large parts of the world, children don't wear adult clothes and constantly cover up. They are weans, they are sweet and one looks on them indulgently, WITHOUT dwelling on their pornographic potential. Dwelling on their pornographic potential is what paedos do.

I would also say that a. I am not worried that small children will get horny over seeing me in a swimming costume (what?) and b. Christians don't get to order the whole world as it suits them. Why is this mum asking all women, everywhere, not to do anything that might tempt preshus some time in the future to look upon a woman's thighs? Lady, I don't belong to the ridiculous interpretation of Christianity you do, and therefore I care not a button if preshus sees me in a bikini or anything else.

Here's what I don't get. She (presumably) has no issue with breastfeeding, yet she worries about her toddler seeing boobs in a bikini.

[dairyfreelife]

I see toddlers, boys and girls with just diapers on all the time. I think bikinis are a little odd on little girls when it's like an adult bikini and trying to cover what she doesn't have, but that's just me. Little boys and little girls look the same from the waist up until puberty, so anyone who thinks "boobies" when they see a little girl is super creepy. Seriously, just leave them all shirtless and maybe we'll get over the idea that children are in any way sexual.

And I bet her tot looked cute in the American flag bathing suit. Don't let some wench complain about the outfits you put your children in while you are having fun. It's none of her damn business. If your children were cared for and happy, that's all the matters. Tell her to pay attention to her own family and stop worrying about yours for no real reason.

[Minerva]

I am a woman. Somewhere inside me is a fleshly desire to dress sexy and show off my curves. I get it. I struggle too. But I am a Christian woman[...]

Didn't realize my bikinis made me non-Christian. *adjusts cleavage*

He doesn't need to see your cleavage or your thighs. He doesn't need to watch you swim in nothing more than your bra and panties (yes, I said it).

Uh-oh. The big secret that bikinis look like underwear has been revealed. Game's up guys, Kristen said it.

Let's help one another in this battle for purity.

Hmm, wear a bikini to the pool and let any kids of mine do the same, or participate in a battle for purity that I don't agree with. That's a tough one.

[2xx1xy1JD]

She should read this piece (and frankly, so should everyone else):

http://bycommonconsent.com/2013/06/18/m ... d-modesty/

After encountering one very attractive woman who greeted us at the door wearing little more than a half-open robe, I waited until we were well down the road before letting loose a tirade of anger and frustration. I told my companion that it really bothered me seeing so many women in various states of undress. It was hard to focus and I felt weak and powerless around them. How were we to be strong and stay faithful? I had prayed and fasted about it constantly, and felt little strength in return. And I began to despise many of the women I encountered for “making†me feel that way (I knew plenty of other missionaries who felt the same in the face of these hellish sirens).

but was then surprised by the fact that his companion didn't have that reaction at all:

In response he told me that he spent several years in Hawaii when he was younger. He was on the beach daily, surrounded all day every day by girls in various styles of swimwear, from more or less “modest†to skimpy, and everything in between. His friends’ mothers often wore bikinis to the beach; he was used to seeing every girl he knew like that. Some eventually became girlfriends, while others remained simply good friends. He was used to it; it really didn’t bother him.

In other words - the entire basis for seeking to "protect" boys from women in bikinis is not only false, but it is actually counter-productive. Her little boy would not be turned on by these women now, but he would get used to what they are wearing and become desensitized. OTOH, this mother will instead transmit the message that these women are not modest, that there is something wrong and sexual and forbidden about the way that they are dressing, and will raise her son to genuinely feel as though he is in a battle with his libido and cannot cope with seeing women in bikinis.

[Burris]

That woman worries so much about modesty that her son will grow up to be positively preoccupied with sex, and alert for even the most innocent flash of flesh to titillate him.

I think I am an outlier here, however, because I don’t think either girls or boys should be uncovered anywhere between knee, neck, and elbow while in public. People have a right to dress themselves and their children in whatever way they wish, but sunrays can damage exposed skin even, as far as I know, with sunscreen on.

The other reason I oppose having children in revealing garb is because, quite simply, they’re children and not adults: They shouldn’t be wearing garments that, when worn by adults, are often designed to allure. (I know: Some people wear two-piece thong bikinis because they like them, and not because they want people looking at them, but I would maintain that the designers' purpose for such clothing – and the reason a lot of people buy and wear it – is to grab attention.)

NOTE: My belief that some clothing is meant to attract attention - for example, that a man may dress better than usual to attract a woman - is in no way related to the disgusting belief that a person's clothing is in any way an excuse to assault them.

[Coconut Flan]

This is making me laugh. My neighbor's fundie-lite daughter who talks of leaving the number of children up to God was in shorts (knee length but still shorts) and an almost tank top during our heat wave. Her sixteen month old daughter was in the front yard doing water play in just a diaper.

[Hane]

Backstage at my local community theater, people were running around in various stages of undress, doing quick costume changes between scenes. Most of the young women were playing showgirls and wearing very skimpy outfits. And yet I saw no evidence of priapism among their male castmates, gay OR straight. Ditto for the cast party, when many bikinis were in evidence.

This woman's paranoia does not bode well for her son's eventual mental health.

[docmom]

My kids like to go to our local zoo where they have a river you can paddle in. One day one little boy (about 18 months old) was paddling in a swim diaper and managed (as they do) to remove it. A fundie family was walking by and the mother suddenly screamed (and I mean screamed) "Hannah look away, look away" and then proceeded to scream at the toddler's mother for corrupting her daughter "She's not allowed to see male parts! We don't want her to ever see THAT!" A very quick mother in the group yelled back "Are you raising her lesbian?" Of course, "Hannah" turned around to see what all the fuss was about and would probably never have noticed anything if her mother hadn't kicked up such a fuss.

[louisa05]

My kids like to go to our local zoo where they have a river you can paddle in. One day one little boy (about 18 months old) was paddling in a swim diaper and managed (as they do) to remove it. A fundie family was walking by and the mother suddenly screamed (and I mean screamed) "Hannah look away, look away" and then proceeded to scream at the toddler's mother for corrupting her daughter "She's not allowed to see male parts! We don't want her to ever see THAT!" A very quick mother in the group yelled back "Are you raising her lesbian?" Of course, "Hannah" turned around to see what all the fuss was about and would probably never have noticed anything if her mother hadn't kicked up such a fuss.

Oh FFS. I was changing my boy cousins' diapers by age 8. What is wrong with people?

[Koala]

Yes, well Kristen has a a good number of posts about modesty-to the point of being concerning. Who the hell spends that much time pondering such things? :evil-eye:

In one post she laments allowing her infant daughter to wear a bikini because modesty should start at birth of course. :roll: Guess she really dropped the ball on that one. :roll:

You know, it really creeps me out that on a trip to the beach with her child she was worried about what the little girl playing next to him was wearing. That's the kind of person you have to watch....

[Minerva]

My kids like to go to our local zoo where they have a river you can paddle in. One day one little boy (about 18 months old) was paddling in a swim diaper and managed (as they do) to remove it. A fundie family was walking by and the mother suddenly screamed (and I mean screamed) "Hannah look away, look away" and then proceeded to scream at the toddler's mother for corrupting her daughter "She's not allowed to see male parts! We don't want her to ever see THAT!" A very quick mother in the group yelled back "Are you raising her lesbian?" Of course, "Hannah" turned around to see what all the fuss was about and would probably never have noticed anything if her mother hadn't kicked up such a fuss.

:lol: That's clever.

[nelliebelle1197]

My two year old daughter was just running around naked in our front yard trying to pee standing up like her brother. A ton of neighbors were around but I don't think anyone was defrauded by her fat little butt and belly

[spookyginger]

I have a former roommate who has a family member with a blog. I'd post it here for discussion fodder, except that this woman is dumb enough to reveal the full names of her entire family along with the name of the city they live in. She's the worst kind of sanctimonious...I can't believe these other parents brought store-bought cupcakes instead of organic healthy snacks. Public school is so inferior to my homeschooling. And on and on.

Now, keep in mind, this is a woman who is dumb enough to post names of her family and their city, and she definitely posted a few pics of little girls in their underwear only. HOWEVER...there was also an entire post about the evils of naked Barbie dolls. They buy their kids dolls who have the clothes sewn on, because heaven forbid their little girls should have toys that don't display modesty. My best friend put it best: instead of teaching their daughters that nudity is sacred, they are teaching them that it is dirty and shameful. This will come back to bite them if (we hope never) there is any kind of abuse by strangers-they will be ashamed to tell.

Some people. I just can't even.

[oil]

I wonder the Duggars let the boys see the baby girls naked? The first time they ever see vulva is on the wedding night? I know the girls see penis be cause they change the diapers.

[Terrasola]

Poor Kristen. We need to send her some horse blinders to calm her down. Her preoccupation with this issue is quite interesting. I wonder if it is really modesty she's thinking about or something else, with the code word "modesty" and the emphasis on her son being her way of packaging her obsession in a way she feels is socially / religiously acceptable. Just wondering.

Her reaction reminds me of the Ray Stevens song, The Streak, where he repeatedly yelled, "Don't look Ethel!" Of course when someone says "Don't look!" you are going to look. At least I would.

[curlytoes79]

But coming from a mommy who loves Jesus and wants to protect the purity of her little boy, don't show my son that! ... You can tell me to simply teach him to exhibit some self control. You can tell me to stay home if I don't like how the real world is. But let me encourage you to let Christ have control and let Him lead you to honor Him with the way you and your children dress.

How would this chick respond to a conservative Muslim woman telling her to cover up her hair and neck with a scarf because she's tempting men to sin? And then exhorted her to let Allah have control over her life?

[tanksmom]

How would this chick respond to a conservative Muslim woman telling her to cover up her hair and neck with a scarf because she's tempting men to sin? And then exhorted her to let Allah have control over her life?

Well that's totally different because she would be an evil heathen trying to persecute her don't cha know :naughty:

[Claddagh]

Mom told me once shortly after I learned to do the walk/run that toddlers do I once ran into the living room stark naked. Mom also had my great-grandmothers and two of their friends there. The older women just laughed when they saw me and said all kids seem to do that from one point or another.

[spookyginger]

Mom told me once shortly after I learned to do the walk/run that toddlers do I once ran into the living room stark naked. Mom also had my great-grandmothers and two of their friends there. The older women just laughed when they saw me and said all kids seem to do that from one point or another.

Every kid goes through a naked phase. There's been so much controversy over things like this lately that it kind of boggles the mind. There was a public figure awhile back who got into trouble over photos posted of him in the bathtub with his grandkids...there was nothing revealing in the photos, but people freaked out. There was another instance of parents taking pictures of their girls after bath time wrapped up in their towels...the photo developer reported it as child porn, and these people had their kids taken away while they fought it. People overreact all the time.

That said, there are some people who never grow out of their naked phase, and they just learn to be naked in their homes or with like-minded people. And if you talk to a nudist, most of them will tell you that they view nudity as completely non-sexual...just like little kids do. They don't realize that being naked is "wrong" or "dirty" until we tell them that it is. It amazes me how preoccupied with sex the fundies are. They probably talk about it more than most liberal households.

[sparkles]

Attitudes like this woman talks about just makes me stabby. There are perverts in this world but they're not who you're thinking of, lady. YOU'RE the pervert, you and others who think like you. Who take something as sweet and innocent as a child's mode of dress, as beautiful as the human body in ALL of its many shapes and sizes and perverted it into something shameful and disgusting. You're raising a generation of children who will grow up fearful and judgmental, unable to feel self-worth or worthy of love from others because they've been taught that their every thought and action is sinful. It's what's happening to these children that makes me the most angry.

I wonder what this sanctimonious piece of work would make of me as a parent if she knew that one of my proudest moments as a mom was the year my then 18 YO daughter took part in the Coney Island Mermaid parade, marching happily while dressed in a teeny bikini. Why was this such a great moment? Because she was born with a neural tube defect that after surgery left her with a back deformity that's not really noticeable when she's dressed but is quite apparent otherwise (where others have a hollow in their lower back, she has a bump and a long scar). Because she struggled against and eventually conquered a 3 year battle with anorexia. Because overcoming her body issues was HUGE. Because she learned, if not to love her body, to embrace it and appreciate it. Thinking of what it meant to her and the courage it took for her to celebrate that body and to share it with everyone still brings tears to my eyes. It's a feeling these fundies--with their fear and shame of what their god supposedly created--will never know.