What will all the SAHDs do long term?

[Drina Adams]

There's going to be any number of them. The Mally sisters, the Maxwells, Duggars, and numerous other homemakers in training that have been mentioned. What does the future hold for them? Will they do the spinster aunt role, as childminder and skivvy for their married siblings? Will they try to forge careers advising younger women in the 'art' of homemaking? How will they support themselves? Do you think they ever worry about the future and the years passing them by. I'm a little overinterested in Sarah Mally, mainly because of her 'Before You Meet Prince Charming' background. Does she earn enough from her family ministry to support herself as she enters the 'seasons of singleness'? When will they admit/accept the Lord has laid it on their hearts to remain single?

[Talitha Cumi]

I suspect the Botkinettes are already brides of Christ Daddy Geoff. They're going to be happy (or at least pretend they're happy) fulfilling Daddy's vision. Damn shame, all those ovary eggs he prayed for going to waste.

[GeoBQn]

Sarah Mally will continue to pester students at University of Iowa (her latest project--trying to organize a group of international students to go to the Creation Museum) until the day that a distant relative puts her in a 2nd tier nursing home. If she is lucky.

[Mela99]

Nothing. Stay at home and try to find 'content.'

[kpmom]

What a crappy future. Having to live with your brother and his wife in their home. Basically, you're just a guest in their house, depending on their kindness for the rest of your life.

[auntsally28]

They create a culture of dependence for their women and to a lesser extent their younger men. Without marriage a women has to be very strong indeed to gain independence whatsoever.....

[debrand]

The Mally's interest me also. They seem so super sweet on the surface but it doesn't take much digging to discover that there is a lot of obnoxious superiority beneath the surface. Their brother fascinates me too. He has a real job as an actual photographer and his work is published in nonreligious news papers. On his facebook page, he is friends with people who support same sex marriage(At least they had the equal sign as their avatars.) I almost imagine him having a separate family that he doesn't mention to his adopted family.

Because the three siblings also wrote a book about sibling friendship, I imagine that they will end up living together with Stephen financially supporting them.

stephenmally.photoshelter.com/

The above link is to the brother's photography site.

[Closed Womb]

I think most of these "girls" will go crazy, crying out to the LORD, trying to figured out what they did, why He has forsaken them. I wish I was being facetious, but I really think a breakdown is in many of these women's futures. Hopefully, in some cases, the breakdowns will lead to medical care and a departure from the lifestyle.

Those that accept the permanence of their singleness are probably lesbians or asexual or afraid of marriage/sex (or, for some other reason relieved not to "fulfill their destiny"; this is not meant to marginalize the groups above.) Or, they are like this:

I once worked with a woman who loved cute desserts -- petite cupcakes, little whoopie pies, beautiful chocolates. Her favorite among them were French Macarons. She loooooved those. But, she mentioned one day that she had never tasted them and never wanted to because she loved how they looked so much that she did not want to ruin her fantasies if she did not like them. I sometimes wonder if some of the hard core SAHDs are like my former coworker; they love the idea of marriage and a perfect God-delivered husband so much that they never want to marry, lest it ruin the perfect image in their minds.

[JenniferJuniper]

I once worked with a woman who loved cute desserts -- petite cupcakes, little whoopie pies, beautiful chocolates. Her favorite among them were French Macarons. She loooooved those. But, she mentioned one day that she had never tasted them and never wanted to because she loved how they looked so much that she did not want to ruin her fantasies if she did not like them. I sometimes wonder if some of the hard core SAHDs are like my former coworker; they love the idea of marriage and a perfect God-delivered husband so much that they never want to marry, lest it ruin the perfect image in their minds.

I think that's definitely a part of it. I also think the thought of sex must get more terrifying for them as they get older. If you're in your 30's and no guy has ever seen so much as your knee, what must it be like to imagine being nekkid in front of a man, even if you are imaging it in the dark?

Some of them could end up marrying much older widowers to tend house and look after the youngest of their broods. The rest will remain dependent on male relatives when their fathers die. Male relatives with spouses who may not be so keen on that notion. I can imagine stuffy little attic bedrooms or musty basement apartments.

No work and no spouse means no retirement savings, no Social Security, no health insurance. Nothing but maybe a few SSI bucks at 65. It’s really very frightening.

[fundyfunland]

I think the Duggar "girls" might end up differently the rest of the SAHDs we speak of here. There are 9 girls in that family and one very lazy mother. I think that by the time the older girls marry off (if they ever do), J'chelle will be too lazy to even teach the party line to the younger ones. The young girls will be able to date whomever they want with very little chaperoning, because nobody's going to notice what they're doing anyway.

As far as the rest of the SAHDs are concerned...well, I have no idea, but their futures seem depressing. I'm just happy that with every year they aren't married, another precious egg isn't fertilized.

[JenniferJuniper]

I think the Duggar "girls" might end up differently the rest of the SAHDs we speak of here. There are 9 girls in that family and one very lazy mother. I think that by the time the older girls marry off (if they ever do), J'chelle will be too lazy to even teach the party line to the younger ones. The young girls will be able to date whomever they want with very little chaperoning, because nobody's going to notice what they're doing anyway.

Agree. Between the influence of the show, the sheer number of kids, and the lazy mother and aging father, things are going to be very different by then.

Hannie on down will be wearing jeans in a few years and an adult Joy Anna will be complaining about how she could never get away with that. In 12 - 15 years those of us still on the planet will be reading about Jenny or Jordyn eloping in Vegas.

[debrand]

I think that the SAHD's who have to depend on brother's with wives will have it the worst. Although I consider myself a pretty patient person, I would be angry if my healthy, mentally sound SIL lived with us but didn't contribute financially to the household. It would be difficult for me to be nice to her when we had financial problems. I'd want her to get out and do something even if it was just work part time at a fast food restaurant. I'd imagine that SAHD's would either have to work or would have miserable existences with their SIL's.

[Letgo]

At what point will Sarah Mally have to give up the waiting on Prince Charming idea? Is she still going to be going around giving talks on waiting at age 45? Do any of the SAHDs ever question this idea? So they ever want to get a job, live in a little apartment, be independent? None of the well-known families have had to deal with a "rebellious" daughter, have they? I always wonder how the family would react if a daughter wanted to live on her own or date on her own, without going through Daddy.

[Coconut Flan]

I wonder at what point the patriarchs will realize that they have a failure on their hands. If I subscribed to Duggar beliefs, I'd be thinking something needed to change if I were Ma or Pa Duggar. They only have, for at least appearance purposes, one successful launch. If they are committed to many of the goals of the organizations they support, then they should be getting at least the daughters married.

Although I feel for the daughters, especially Sarah Maxwell, I'm glad to see that many won't be birthing dozens of babies. I don't know if they have the logic to see the disconnect in the theory of their belief systems and how it's not working in actual practice although I hope that they do. They may use the standard lines of not enough faith in the Lord, not praying properly, etc. cover the failures .

[anjulibai]

I've long suspected that most of the girls will be farmed out to their brothers' and their sisters-in-law as unpaid childcare and maid service. We already see that with the Duggars and to a certain extant the Maxwells. Ultimately, they will end up caring for their aging parents and, if they are much younger than some of their brothers, their aging brothers.

[AVENues]

What will they do? Suffer. With a bright smile on their faces.

[Justme]

It will be interesting to see Nathan Maxwell's girls grow. If they've no brother, who will "take care" of them... Maybe Nath will finally "wake up" and see his daughters do have a future and provide them with an education.

[Feberin]

I think that the SAHD's who have to depend on brother's with wives will have it the worst. Although I consider myself a pretty patient person, I would be angry if my healthy, mentally sound SIL lived with us but didn't contribute financially to the household. It would be difficult for me to be nice to her when we had financial problems. I'd want her to get out and do something even if it was just work part time at a fast food restaurant. I'd imagine that SAHD's would either have to work or would have miserable existences with their SIL's.

I think if my SIL did a lot of cooking, cleaning and child care then I would be happy to have her there especially if I was constantly pregnant. If you're raising and homeschooling 10+ kids then I think the extra help would be a "blessing" not to say there wouldn't be disagreements and fights but I think those are unavoidable when people are spending almost all their time together.

[anjulibai]

It will be interesting to see Nathan Maxwell's girls grow. If they've no brother, who will "take care" of them... Maybe Nath will finally "wake up" and see his daughters do have a future and provide them with an education.

Eh, I imagine there might be one or two more pregnancies in Melanie's future, a boy might come.

Also, it doesn't look like Anna Marie is particularly fertile (took her nearly a year to conceive Joshua, and it's been almost a year since she had him and she's not pregnant), so I don't see a huge family in their future.

I'm guessing little Joshua, and potentially any brothers he has, will be "encouraged" to look out for his cousins' well-beings.

[Feberin]

Eh, I imagine there might be one or two more pregnancies in Melanie's future, a boy might come.

Also, it doesn't look like Anna Marie is particularly fertile (took her nearly a year to conceive Joshua, and it's been almost a year since she had him and she's not pregnant), so I don't see a huge family in their future.

I'm guessing little Joshua, and potentially any brothers he has, will be "encouraged" to look out for his cousins' well-beings.

I think it's more likely that Nathan will marry off one of the girls fairly young then getting an education.

Also good point about Joshua and any additional brothers he may have supporting his cousins.

[Jinger Jar]

I think a lot of these SAHDs will put a biblical spin on the single life as they enter their 40s and 50s. There's nothing wrong with being single, and there's no real need for them to justify their lives to anyone, but of course they won't see it that way. Instead, they'll brand themselves as Brides of the One King, A Perpetual Keeper of My Father's Hearth, or some such. They will create a market for ebooks on how to care for aging parents biblically, or manage estate planning the King Solomon way. After their parents have died, they will re-invent themselves as Submissive Spinsters and try to convince elderly fundie women that it's their duty to be keepers of their brother's (or nephew's) home. And then they will die.

And I've just depressed the piss out of myself...

[GenerationCedarchip]

What a crappy future. Having to live with your brother and his wife in their home. Basically, you're just a guest in their house, depending on their kindness for the rest of your life.

i just find that incredibly depressing. Also, it reminds me of something from the Victorian era or even earlier. Except I seem to remember reading about women trying to avoid that fate. So sad to be going back to that.

[Chavymishmacoy]

This scares the SHIT out of me. No choices in life. They don't do anything like helping poor and disadvantaged people. What kind of fulfillment can you really have? So they go on occasional mission trips to look good to their neighbors, but what about struggles in daily life and trying to do what Jesus asks of Christians.

[Drina Adams]

i just find that incredibly depressing. Also, it reminds me of something from the Victorian era or even earlier. Except I seem to remember reading about women trying to avoid that fate. So sad to be going back to that.

It reminds me of the fate of a lot of men and women in rural Ireland in years gone by. With Catholicism pretty much the state religion and a ban on contraception until the mid 1970s, large families were the norm in many rural (and some urban) areas. My MIL is one of 17, my FIL one of 10 and my mother one of 8. My father is one of 6, and if his father hadn't died in his late 30s no doubt there would have been more. It was often the norm that a farm would go to the eldest son, and the youngest daughter was expected to remain at home to care for her parents in their old age. The eldest son's wife would be expected to live in the family home, with her MIL and siblings in law until they moved out, usually to emigrate or marry other farming families.

It was more common for women to emigrate to the USA/UK because they saw the writing on the wall, either get out or become enslaved, with little or no chance of independent living. It seems bizarre that this kind of thing, which is pretty much a thing of the past here, is being reignited in fundyland. At least there was the option of becoming a nun/brother for Catholic 'surplus' men and women, these people don't even have that option.

[ProfessorAndMaryAnn]

I don't understand why these girls can't get a job while they wait for their future spouse. If all they want to do is marry and have children, that's fine. But shouldn't they take care of themselves now? I realize they all still live at home, but why couldn't they work in a coffee shop or a grocery store? Something where they can earn money, get life experience and aren't 100% dependent on their families while they wait for their husband. Learning to be a homemaker isn't going to take years of training!