Working mothers and C sections

[Dutch_girl]

The only way this could be a "working mom" issue is that typically a woman with short term disability coverage will get 8 weeks of short term disability after a C-section and only 6 after a vaginal birth. If a woman is not eligible for FMLA or can't afford to take any unpaid leave, then a C-section might seem like a way to have a little more time off. I'm not saying it makes any sense but I can see how it might sound appealing. That's more an issue with our extremely inhumane and family-unfriendly maternity leave situation in the US than anything inherent to working moms vs. SAHMs.

Just curious, how many weeks do you have maternity leave in the US? Because I read here that some woman work till delivery..?

ANd I'm really really glad that my mom had a C-section because otherwise I wouldn't be here..

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Just curious, how many weeks do you have maternity leave in the US? Because I read here that some woman work till delivery..?

ANd I'm really really glad that my mom had a C-section because otherwise I wouldn't be here..

I believe the general rule is 8 wks., but it may vary state to state. Some companies offer more, and/or some women take more if they can afford to. But working into the 8th month is totally common; most women I know did this so they could maximize the time they could spend with their baby once it's born. Overall, there is next to no social support for working moms in the US - one of the reasons I'm not a mom yet. I'm planning a pregnancy in the next two years, even though it's a little earlier than I would like, because as a Ph.D. candidate at my uni I get 8 paid weeks (and I have two years left there), whereas if I did it once I started looking for an academic job or my first few years as a prof, I would have a much harder time getting tenure, if I got hired at all. SO, I guess I will be writing a book while nursing an infant. :pull-hair:

[Daisy]

"Just curious, how many weeks do you have maternity leave in the US? Because I read here that some woman work till delivery..?"

I can't get the quotes to work, but just wanted to say when my son was born I wanted to stop working one week before he was due. I was told I could not take my sick leave during that week and would have to take vacation time unless I had documentation from my doctor showing there was a medical reason why I couldn't work up until delivery. Clearly the person who made that policy had never been pregnant.......

Also, my employer, like I'm sure many others, doesn't pay maternity leave. They will hold your job for 12 weeks under FMLA laws but you only get paid for however much sick leave and vacation time you have saved up.

[dawbs]

Just curious, how many weeks do you have maternity leave in the US? Because I read here that some woman work till delivery..?

ANd I'm really really glad that my mom had a C-section because otherwise I wouldn't be here..

Basically you're not guaranteed any.

FMLA means they have to hold your job (assuming your job qualifies for FMLA. Not all jbos do) from the time the doc says you can't work until the the time your doc says you come back--up to 12 weeks (and they don't have to pay you for that. Most companies will allow you to use sick/vacation time).

(I worked until my due date, then, my doctor, who hadn't been thrilled w/ my commute, said I was pushing it and needed to stay home. I stayed home until she was born [2ish weeks later] and then took off 6 weeks. Then went back. I had enough sick/vacation time I was paid for those 8 weeks. Mr. Dawbs had to take his time off unpaid. )

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

I remember when we lived in Russia, not only could you take a sick day for yourself whenever you wanted (the logic was that you shouldn't come in and get everyone else sick, rather than in the US where you are expected to drag your flu-ridden self to work regardless), but it was totally acceptable to call in when your kid was sick so you could stay home with them. AND 2 years of maternity leave, 1 paid. See? Not EVERYTHING sucked about Communism, :lol:.

[FJismyheadship]

"Then one must live on strong pain killers for awhile afterwards that I am sure are transferred to the baby if one nurses her baby."

I needed Perceset (or however you spell it) only a couple of times, and only while I was in the hospital. Most of the time, I took 600 milligrams of Ibprofen and that was sufficient. A week later I was almost back to my old self... the ladies in labor and delivery when I went back in to find out about some paperwork couldn't believe how fast I was moving.

I needed a C-Section. My doctor told me so, and she knew how bad I DID NOT WANT it. I asked her all about the procedure a couple months before I had my baby, and told her flat out "I do not want this if I don't have to have it. I just want to be informed in the event I do need it"

Maybe C-Sections really are evil... I do NOT want anymore kids partially because of it.

[Savoring Samsara]

Basically you're not guaranteed any.

FMLA means they have to hold your job (assuming your job qualifies for FMLA. Not all jbos do) from the time the doc says you can't work until the the time your doc says you come back--up to 12 weeks (and they don't have to pay you for that. Most companies will allow you to use sick/vacation time).

(I worked until my due date, then, my doctor, who hadn't been thrilled w/ my commute, said I was pushing it and needed to stay home. I stayed home until she was born [2ish weeks later] and then took off 6 weeks. Then went back. I had enough sick/vacation time I was paid for those 8 weeks. Mr. Dawbs had to take his time off unpaid. )

Correct. If the company you work for has fewer than 50 employees, they are not required to comply with any of these standards (though they can if they choose to - mine did, thankfully).

I am really looking forward to whenever anti-abortion activists get around to supporting the adoption of a robust paid parental leave policy in the United States that would both provide an incentive for people not to have an abortion because they will know that the cultural infrastructure around them supports and understands the new obligations of parenthood, and improve our economy by opening up a ton of temporary positions where jobseekers can get their feet wet in a new career while the person out on leave is enjoying bonding with their baby. What do you say, folks?

*crickets*

Figured as much.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Correct. If the company you work for has fewer than 50 employees, they are not required to comply with any of these standards (though they can if they choose to - mine did, thankfully).

I am really looking forward to whenever anti-abortion activists get around to supporting the adoption of a robust paid parental leave policy in the United States that would both provide an incentive for people not to have an abortion because they will know that the cultural infrastructure around them supports and understands the new obligations of parenthood, and improve our economy by opening up a ton of temporary positions where jobseekers can get their feet wet in a new career while the person out on leave is enjoying bonding with their baby. What do you say, folks?

*crickets*

Figured as much.

Yes! This would be so amazing. Strange that we live in a culture where women are so heavily pressured to have kids, but we do next to nothing to help them. State-sponsored daycare would be a good start. Or even just preschool. It wasn't until I started thinking about having a baby of my own that I learned that even preschool was not part of the public school system and that you have to pay for it.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Parental leave makes a huge difference to women's participation in the workforce.

It's hard to leave a 6 week old infant. I'm sure that part of the reason that the SAHM vs. working outside the home mom debates are so fierce and emotional is that many American women face such a stark choice. Since I took longer leaves (6 mos with baby #1, 11 mos with baby #2 and 18 mos with baby #3), I got to have both the SAHM and working mom experiences, and when I went back to work, I was ready.

With the current structure, including no paternity leave, women are more likely to be the ones to leave careers while the children are young. While the time that sex makes a difference is relatively short (pregnancy, birth recovery and breastfeeding), the career implications are long-lasting. The father focuses on increasing time at work to make up for lost income, the mother may not return to work between pregnancies, and if she's out of the workforce for several years, her skills and contacts grow rusty, just as the men around her are working full speed. Maternity leave is also one of the reasons that "pink collar ghettos" exist in some fields. In law, it's pretty dramatic - men are more likely to start firms, while women are more likely to work for government. Income potential is lower in the public sector, but the pay is steady, there are benefits and maternity leave is often generous. I've done 2 year-long government contracts, and the lawyers were overwhelmingly female.

More subsidized childcare may be even more important for women's workforce participation. Right now, women need to get back to work, and somehow come up with the funds for childcare before getting the first paycheck. Finding infant child care was so hard with baby #1 that it almost prevented me from taking on a good contract.

Working up until delivery, if you are physically able to do so, often makes sense even with maternity leave. Whether it is 6 weeks or 1 year, maternity leave is limited, and it's more useful when you have a baby in your care. With my first 2 babies, I was very mobile right up until delivery (and even walked to the hospital with baby#1). With baby #3, I could barely walk during the last month.

C-section experiences also vary widely. My first 2 were awesome - 48 hours after baby #2, I was home and cooking up dinner. My 3rd sucked.

[jean70]

"Just curious, how many weeks do you have maternity leave in the US? Because I read here that some woman work till delivery..?"

I can't get the quotes to work, but just wanted to say when my son was born I wanted to stop working one week before he was due. I was told I could not take my sick leave during that week and would have to take vacation time unless I had documentation from my doctor showing there was a medical reason why I couldn't work up until delivery. Clearly the person who made that policy had never been pregnant.......

Also, my employer, like I'm sure many others, doesn't pay maternity leave. They will hold your job for 12 weeks under FMLA laws but you only get paid for however much sick leave and vacation time you have saved up.

I had the exact same situation w/my last pregnancy; I was a week overdue, very miserable and was told I needed documentation from my doctor in order to start my leave. I wasn't even given the option to use my vacation time because other people already had vacation scheduled, and they couldn't "allow" anyone else time off. Thankfully, my little guy must've sensed my distress, and I went into labor the next day :D

I was fortunate that my employer has short term disability, so I was able to collect part of my paycheck during my maternity leave, but my sister (who has virtually no benefits) returned to work 2 weeks after she delivered both of her kids; not because she wanted to go back, but because she HAD to go back in order to pay bills and survive.

[ems]

I remember reading somewhere, I believe it was STFU Parents, of a woman who was asking her fb friends if they had birthdays or anniversaries near her due date so she could schedule a C-section to give her baby his or her "own" special day. After the initial WTF reaction, I was like "there is no way a doctor would allow that."

[lilwriter85]

I remember reading somewhere, I believe it was STFU Parents, of a woman who was asking her fb friends if they had birthdays or anniversaries near her due date so she could schedule a C-section to give her baby his or her "own" special day. After the initial WTF reaction, I was like "there is no way a doctor would allow that."

That sort of reminds me of Amy Roloff from Little People, Big World. She had to C sections with her kids and I always found it a bit odd that she choose to have her daughter on her birthday.

[twinmama]

Not sure how fruit and veggies would have helped.

Eat more pears and your uterus would be more pear shaped? Clearly your uterine issue was caused by too many bananas and not enough pears.

Also, I had an emergency section very early due to pre-e and the strongest meds I needed after days 1 and 2 was ibuprofen, and I think I took that for a day or two. It wasn't really that painful for me. And I had early preemies in the NICU who I was pumping for and the neonatologists and nurses were perfectly happy to give my babies my morphine riddled breast milk. Didn't seem to hurt my teeny babies a bit.

[twinmama]

I don't feel that my cesarean was a birth. It was a violation, imo. But that's my opinion about my eldest son's entrance to the world. He was born, but I was gutted like a fish. If other women are happy with their cesareans and feel like it was a birth, more power to them. I kind of wish I could feel that way. I don't get to tell them they can't feel that way, so long as they respect that I get to feel about mine the way I do.

I have trouble saying I gave birth too. And that I conceived or made my kiddos. They are IVF babies, my doctor made them! My materials, but his efforts. None of it has negative connotations to me, but I do feel like I never gave birth despite having been pregnant with twins and having a section to deliver them. Part of my trauma and weirdness about their birth is that they were 11 weeks early due to pre-e and it was all horribly terrifying and traumatic. Blech.

[roddma]

Posh Spice was heavily criticized for elective c -sections. I know c-sections have saved some lives and it doesnt make a woman less of a mother. I could care less what another person does but for me to be sliced and diced on when not needed-no thanks. As others have said, what a person can handle varies. Celebrities have plenty of money and nannies to help them recover.

As far as maternity leave goes, 1 out of 4 or 5 women are childless now and I expect those numbers to grow. Maternity leave really needs to be called something else. Maternity leave was put in place to attract female employs years ago with the asusmption they would want children, but our society has evolved.

[Savoring Samsara]

That sort of reminds me of Amy Roloff from Little People, Big World. She had to C sections with her kids and I always found it a bit odd that she choose to have her daughter on her birthday.

I got to pick which day I was induced (within a range of possibilities at least - once I started to go really overdue my midwife basically said "pick any day this week") and I picked my husband's birthday without thinking. However, my kid apparently wanted his own birthday after all, because he didn't come out until the day after I was induced anyhow. :lol:

[Katiebug]

Just curious, how many weeks do you have maternity leave in the US? Because I read here that some woman work till delivery..?

As others have said, we have no guaranteed universal maternity leave at the national level, paid or unpaid. Women who work for companies with more than 50 employees, who have been at their jobs for at least a year and worked a specified minimum number of hours in that year, are eligible for the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) which guarantees 12 weeks of leave (potentially totally unpaid), including any time off before a baby arrives. In a literal handful of states women are eligible for some partially-paid time off through state disability programs. Also, employers are free to offer paid maternity leave or a short term disability plan that will typically provide 50-60% of salary for either 6 weeks (vaginal delivery) or 8 weeks (C-section) after birth. Women may use vacation time if they have any. Typically during any unpaid FMLA leave the employee must pay out of pocket to reimburse their employer for continuation of medical and dental insurance coverage.

There are many working women in the US who are eligible for no paid maternity leave and the only job protection they have is at the whim of their employer. In real life I know of at least 2-3 women working for small businesses who returned to work at 2-3 weeks postpartum because they had no choice. I think that's horrible and inhumane.

I work for a large employer with a fairly generous short term disability plan, and my state offers a state FMLA of 16 weeks rather than the federal 12 week FMLA. When this baby arrives I will have 6 weeks at full pay on disability followed by 2 weeks of fully paid "dependent care days", a benefit provided by my employer. Assuming I work until delivery I can then take up to 8 weeks more of unpaid leave for the balance of my 16 weeks. If I needed to go on bed rest and was not allowed to work from home, or was written out on medical grounds before delivery, that time would be paid on disability but would count against my 16 week maximum FMLA time. If I wished to take time off before the delivery "just because", I would have to use vacation time - and I have to save my vacation time for after I return to work to handle inevitable illnesses that the baby will pick up from daycare.

With our daughter, I was in the office until they put me on bed rest for preeclampsia and I worked from home for 2 days before I was induced. I took 10.5 weeks off and had to return to work for financial reasons (I was the bigger breadwinner at the time). It was very hard since she was exclusively breastfed and only I could handle the overnight feedings - I was basically a zombie for my first 3 months back in the office.

As the sole breadwinner now (my husband was laid off 4 months ago and is job hunting without much luck) I have no idea how long I'll be able to take past my 8 weeks of paid leave this time around. If he finds a job before my paid leave runs out I'll be able to stretch it to 14-16 weeks, and otherwise I'll need to return to work at around the 10 week mark again when our savings runs out. It sucks but I may have no choice if we want to keep the bills paid.

[Carla Bruni]

I don't plan on having any kids anytime soon, but I've definitely thought about how that scenario might look in my current situation. I work for a great company, but we're all 1099 employees, meaning we have no benefits and no leave besides paid vacation. Management is super loyal and flexible with tons of stuff, but I can't imagine being paid my full salary (or even a significant portion of it) for even 2 weeks, unless I took and maxed out my vacation days. If I were to have a child (in the veeeeerrry distant future) whilst still employed here, I'd also be the first person in the company's history to need maternity leave (15 years of operation; I'm the only female consultant and the only female affiliated with the company who hasn't already had all the children she ever planned on having), and there's nothing in our contracts about it, so I don't even know how it would be handled. I'm in the enviable position of working for really, really nice people who treat our little team like family, but tens of thousands of female consultants/contractors/1099ers out there don't have this luxury; HOW they manage to make it work is beyond me.

[Rosa]

I'm sure that part of the reason that the SAHM vs. working outside the home mom debates are so fierce and emotional is that many American women face such a stark choice. Since I took longer leaves (6 mos with baby #1, 11 mos with baby #2 and 18 mos with baby #3), I got to have both the SAHM and working mom experiences, and when I went back to work, I was ready.

My experience matches that - I went back at 18 months and I was so, so ready. And that was like heresy to the working moms at my new job, most of whom had babies under 1. They were all "oh i would so rather be with my precious little one." I could barely even remember that part by then.

[Rosa]

Also my experience was similar to KatieBug's in some ways. I had a "good" employer, with more than 50 employees, so I got 12 weeks. I had a c-section, so 6 of it was partly paid by my short term disability insurance.

But I was on bed rest for 5 weeks before my kid was born, and he was 5 weeks early. My 12 weeks put me at 2 weeks past his due date. Given any choice at all, i was not going back. Plus most daycares wouldn't take him til 6 weeks past his due date anyway.

Oh and while I was on leave, I had to pay for my own health insurance or it would lapse. So something like 60% of my salary for half the leave, minus the health insurance costs.

[Adrienne83]

Oh man, I wish my c-section would have went as well as some of the posters. My was planned and the actual surgery went perfectly. I couldn't walk till the next day, and was in sooooooooooooooo much pain afterwards. Even now, six and a half months later, I still get some twinges of pain every now and then. :cry:

[OkToBeTakei]

That maternity leave is shocking :(

My own maternity leave was prior to the recent change here and although as you describe, it can be dependent on your employer, even if your employer refuses to pay it, the Govt will cover Statutory Maternity leave. Most employers cover maternity.

For employers who do not.

Statutory Maternity Pay (SMP) is paid for up to 39 weeks. You get:

90% of your average weekly earnings (before tax) for the first 6 weeks

£136.78 or 90% of your average weekly earnings (whichever is lower) for the next 33 weeks

SMP is paid in the same way as your wages (eg monthly or weekly). Tax and National Insurance will be deducted.

Statutory Maternity Leave is 52 weeks. It’s made up of:

26 weeks of Ordinary Maternity Leave

26 weeks of Additional Maternity Leave

You don’t have to take 52 weeks but you must take 2 weeks’ leave after your baby is born (or 4 weeks if you work in a factory).

Usually, the earliest leave can start is 11 weeks before the expected week of childbirth.

Leave will also start:

The day after the birth if the baby is early automatically if you’ve been off work for a pregnancy-related illness in the 4 weeks before the due date.

Employers vary in their generosity. My neighbour for example a teacher will start her maternity leave next week. 6 weeks before her due date and will receive her full salary for 26 weeks followed by Statutory Maternity pay for the final weeks. Not everybody can afford that drop. Or to take the full 52 weeks.

I'm unsure what those unemployed receive exactly but everybody is entitled to SMT as far as I am aware and Maternity grants for low income.

[Dutch_girl]

That maternity leave is shocking :(

Yes, I find the stories also shocking.. Here the maternity leave is 16 weeks, 4 or 6 weeks before you give birth, the rest after (unless you have to stop working earlier b/c of medical reasons) and if you are past you're due date those days don't count..

.. and still we are complaning that it is to short..

[OkToBeTakei]

Yes, I find the stories also shocking.. Here the maternity leave is 16 weeks, 4 or 6 weeks before you give birth, the rest after (unless you have to stop working earlier b/c of medical reasons) and if you are past you're due date those days don't count..

.. and still we are complaning that it is to short..

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/0 ... 17284.html

Can't see Sweden or Denmark there, I thought they were the most generous.

The U.S joins Lesotho, Swaziland and Papua New Guinea as the only countries who do not mandate paid maternity leave.

If that article is to be believed.

[treemom]

The tears I had were harder to recover from than my previous abdominal surgeries.