Jill, Jessa, Jinger, and Jana segment on dating

[debrand]

By equating I've kissed every one of my ten brothers to the answer have you ever kissed someone or kissed a boy is strange. It sounds...yicky. I also kissed my uncles and cousins and other old family members but when I was asked if I'd ever kissed a boy as an early teen, I understood that there are different kinds of kisses and I would never have answered, "I've kissed my brothers."

Her answer about kissing was probably meant to be funny but it just comes off icky. At one point, she said that she wanted someone tall, dark and handsome. Her sisters quickly corrected her.

How do you know that a man loves you more than he loves Jesus? Sarah Malley said that your husband should love you less than god, but really, how do you know?

I think that someone is about to court and that is why they had this show. They are leading up to an announcement that someone is courting.

[tehgoobster]

Someone asked Amy if any of the Duggars were courting recently, and she said no. I doubt she would say anything even if they were, though!

[StarrieEyedKat]

I didn't watch the episode, I've only read this thread, so I could be completely off here, but reading about how adamant (it seems) Jinger was in her answer about not pursuing men got me thinking. I wonder if she was "forward" (at least in Boob's eyes) towards a male non-relative and Boob or someone else in the family had a talk with her about being inappropriate or about letting the man chase you or whatever. Because seriously, what experience could she have that would give her that information?

[Aurora]

I think Jinger's at about the age (16 or so?) when one is very opinionated. I know I was; I grew out of it. Probably she will too in a few years, and will laugh about some of the things she said/believed. I hope so, anyway.

I was disappointed too though, to see how indoctrinated the girls sounded (mostly). I liked how Jill and/or Jessa (it's hard to tell them apart, and the camera wasn't zooming in while they were talking) was cracking jokes and speaking her own mind a little bit.

The interaction with Jana was definitely weird - how they all looked at her when asked who'd be getting married first. Not sure what that was about - either something's up, or they're pushing her for something to be up, or they're just teasing her because she's the oldest, or...?

[CanadianHippie]

I'm thinking they just assume she'll be the first the marry off because she's the oldest. She also, as someone mentioned, may have a young man in mind and is praying for God to bring him to her. Now if only God really put that much time and effort into individual lives...

[moreorlessnu]

Sometimes I wonder if how Amy's life is, is the reason they tolerate her around so much... so many boyfriends, no "real" long term stable job, etc...

Do you mean in terms of using Amy as an example of how dating doesn't work, and being anything other than a 'helpmeet' will result in failure? If this is what the Duggars are doing, two words: Sarah Mally.

[AlexIsAwake]

That whole business about them not dating or kissing because they want to save their "whole heart" for their future spouse just made me want to vomit. It was really hard to finish watching the show. I'm done even trying to watch the Duggars for a while. Honestly, where do people get this drivel? The Old Testament "model" (if you can even call it that) for courting was given to the Jewish people during the time when they were to live under "the Law," but if you call yourself a New Testament Christian, why do you not recall the part of the New Testament where it says there is neither male nor female in Christ - in other words you are no longer bound to follow the Law that places males over females. We are all equal now in Christ. Male headship was a specific cultural practice designed to preserve Jewish families during brutal ancient times thousands of years ago. So this whole idea of some being more righteous/in line with God's will for his "best" in your life if you follow outdated cultural practices is NOT Biblical - and furthermore, neither is the idea that if you date someone, you will lose a piece of your heart, never to be recovered. That's not in the Bible. What trash! As if our hearts are so limited in how much love they can give....and as if there is ANY sort of guarantee that involving your dad in your courtship promises you a bump-free ride?!

Like I said, they make me want to vomit.

Thanks for letting me bitch, Free Jinger. That felt good.

[Patsy]

Maybe it's because it was Jill of all people who seemed the most open to a less "Daddy will tell me what's best for me" scenario, but my gut tells me none of these girls think much of the manner in which Anna ended up with Josh. And they know Josh well. Gentle, selfless and child-loving, my arse.

I don't understand what you're saying - Anna going after Josh was bad, and - what does it have to do with his personality? Sorry, just not making the link.

[CanadianHippie]

I don't understand what you're saying - Anna going after Josh was bad, and - what does it have to do with his personality? Sorry, just not making the link.

Anna didn't go after Josh, she told daddy she liked him and they prayed for it to be so. Josh was the one who called up and said "Hey, Mr. Keller I wanna own marry your daughter" (not word for word, but... Yeah...) And poof, a few month later Anna becomes Mrs. Josh Duggar.

As for his personality... He knows everything and is better than everyone else. :dance:

I believe the point JenniferJuniper was making is that Josh is not a gentle, selfless, child-loving person and the girls only claim they want their dad to control who they marry because they know Daddy Duggar won't have it any other way.

[Patsy]

Probably because I haven't seen the episode, then - what did they say re: fathers choosing and Josh being gentle etc?

[debrand]

Probably because I haven't seen the episode, then - what did they say re: fathers choosing and Josh being gentle etc?

I missed where they mentioned Josh but they did say that the potential suitor had to ask their father before he was allowed to court them

[nolongerIFBx]

I missed where they mentioned Josh but they did say that the potential suitor had to ask their father before he was allowed to court them

I noticed that they didn't say "go ask Josh" about being a godly man. Maybe they see something more in JD?

[JenniferJuniper]

Anna didn't go after Josh, she told daddy she liked him and they prayed for it to be so. Josh was the one who called up and said "Hey, Mr. Keller I wanna own marry your daughter" (not word for word, but... Yeah...) And poof, a few month later Anna becomes Mrs. Josh Duggar.

As for his personality... He knows everything and is better than everyone else. :dance:

I believe the point JenniferJuniper was making is that Josh is not a gentle, selfless, child-loving person and the girls only claim they want their dad to control who they marry because they know Daddy Duggar won't have it any other way.

Yes. The girls were discussing how Father Knows Best and is the only one who can decide which husband is right for his daughter. (well, Jesus plays some role too, of course, but Daddy is apparently the one who has the formal chat with Him.) Then they listed some core husband competencies, none of which brother Smuggar seems to possess. So something clearly broke down in the process for Anna, and I suspect that isn't lost on them.

I agree with the comment about them fawning over JD (and Joe) as a Godly Men in contrast to Josh, although Josh wasn't actually mentioned. And even though I know they were just teasing their brothers, it was sort of a little creepy.

Assuming Jana isn't courting, and I see no evidence she is, I'm beginning to think Boob just isn't finding anyone he considers good enough for his little girls. Which is a very normal feeling for a father to have, but the difference here is that he holds all of the cards; the girls can't even take a slight initiative. Between that and the need for competent and compliant household help, I wouldn't be surprised if Jana and Jill remain maidens at least until one of the younger girls starts bending the rules. My money is on Jana.

[PBrooke]

I agree with the comment about them fawning over JD (and Joe) as a Godly Men in contrast to Josh, although Josh wasn't actually mentioned. And even though I know they were just teasing their brothers, it was sort of a little creepy.

Were they speaking to a room full of girls? Maybe it was a subtle plug for their brothers (whether it was intended for the girls themselves or their fathers). You know like, "Hey ladies, they're available!"

[IReallyAmHopewell]

All of them looking at Jana really makes you wonder. So does Michelle's comments on a wedding "that would be really FAST" but it wouldn't be fast if it has been in the background for a while.

I've said before I hope they keep the courtships off the show until it's certain they are going to get married. Otherwise it would be cruel.

[Patsy]

Then they listed some core husband competencies, none of which brother Smuggar seems to possess. So something clearly broke down in the process for Anna, and I suspect that isn't lost on them.

Finally got it :D

[lilwriter85]

I think maybe Jana is courting but it is being kept a secret for awhile and I can see the courtship being on the show next season. TLC knows their need another Mullet pregnancy or courtship to keep viewers.

[annalena]

I think Jana is courting, or at least something's up. The way all girls looked at her and then how Jessa/Jinger? said "Just keep on watching upcoming episodes". To me, that says something interesting is gonna be in those upcoming episodes .

By the way- if fundies really think the older girls should be married first, it would be that way for other fundy families. Anyone knows examples or even contradictions?

[luckylassie]

I know a fundie family who did the whole "courtship" route where no kissing was allowed. Their daughter ended up running away to stay with a relative and not having any contact with her family for almost a year. The family (after that) decided to let their kids "date" albeit a very cautious form of dating.

[luckylassie]

I kind of understand their point about the girl chasing after the guy ("kind of" is almost not at all). Perhaps I should just stand on street corners looking fabulous and let the men come to me? Maybe if I do the Josh and Anna thing I'll just wait and pray for God to bring me the right dude.

[luckylassie]

Luckylassie is NOT lucky at all in the dating arena. I'm in Anna's position (or former position). As far as purity goes, I got that down pat but the radiant part isn't there. I gotta get out more.

[annalena]

I know a fundie family who did the whole "courtship" route where no kissing was allowed. Their daughter ended up running away to stay with a relative and not having any contact with her family for almost a year. The family (after that) decided to let their kids "date" albeit a very cautious form of dating.

Satan's work, for sure.

[luckylassie]

Perhaps I should wear a sign on my back that says "calling all celtic men". That wouldn't work maybe "free sample" would attract more people?