Jill, Jessa, Jinger, and Jana segment on dating

[moreorlessnu]

Was anyone else surprised by how opinionated Jinger was during the segment? It seemed like several times, when Jill started to answer a question that was contrary to Jinger's opinion, Jinger jumped in and tried to shush or correct Jill. So much for Jinger being one of the first ones to break away. And, so much for Jinger respecting an older sibling.

 

Also, I was surprised to see how loving and caring Jessa appeared when she said how she has 10 brothers and she has kissed all 10 of them. We usually don't see that kind of warmth displayed between the older siblings.

[formergothardite]

I didn't watch that part. Was it basically don't date cause it is evil? What did Jill and Jinger disagree about? Maybe we should free Jill.

[moreorlessnu]

I only saw it once and I might be remembering things incorrectly, so please forgive me if I do: I think they were talking about how the guy would have to talk to JB, and maybe the commentator/interviewer said something about whether the girls might find someone they liked themselves. Jill started to answer something along the lines of 'maybe'. Jinger kind of jumped all over her and was adamant that guys don't like it when girls pursue them. She didn't let Jill finish, but Jill might have been saying that a girl might have a friendship w/ a guy, and might mention her interest to her father.

It sounds like both Anna and Josh both mentioned something about the other to their respective fathers. As someone in another thread mentioned, Anna would be a good resource for this topic since she clearly found someone who she appears to adore, and with whom she has good chemistry. So, maybe there's something to be said for going to Daddy and seeing if Billy-Bob is as besotted w/ the fair maiden as the fair maiden is with Billy-Bob.

[JenniferJuniper]

I didn't watch that part. Was it basically don't date cause it is evil? What did Jill and Jinger disagree about? Maybe we should free Jill.

As I remember it, the questioner asked something about the girl showing interest first and Jill (!) started to indicate that sometimes that's okay and Jinger shushed her, saying girls "turn guys off" (a most worldly phrase if you ask me!) when they take the lead.

[debrand]

My son Chris is shy. Take my word for it, he would LOVE it if a girl pursued him. LOL His best friend is very nice looking and he was overjoyed when a good looking young lady expressed an interest in him before he had worked up the courage to talk to her. Some men, like some women, might like to be the pursurer but most people don't mind if someone else makes the first move.

[xDreamerx]

I was a little bit taken aback to see Jinger be the one who was so adamant as well. She seemed to feel very strongly that the *father* should be the one to consider the guy. Mind you, she was probably told to play the Party Line, but even considering that she was very strong in her answer. Maybe they know we want to free her so they made her answer.

[lilwriter85]

I was a bit annoyed with Jinger in that segment and I really wanted to hear what Jill said.

[Michiru]

Or maybe she does not want a husband and found a way to minimise the chance ti ever have one. :mrgreen:

[nolongerIFBx]

Jana's high pitched, nervous laugh/gasp when Jessa claimed she had kissed a guy was priceless!!

I know an IFB (bordering on IFBx) man that married his wife because she expressed interest, sending him gifts from a "secret admirer" for some period of time. She didn't reveal who she was until after they had been out a few times, but it sealed the deal when he realized that the girl he liked was his secret admirer, so I'm afraid IMO that blows Jinger's theory to bits.

[JenniferJuniper]

I was a little bit taken aback to see Jinger be the one who was so adamant as well...... Maybe they know we want to free her so they made her answer.

They all almost certainly know that viewers have seen Jinger as the most free spirited of the foursome and have probably heard the phrase "Free Jinger", so I don't doubt Jinger has been warned about how she comes across.

Maybe it's because it was Jill of all people who seemed the most open to a less "Daddy will tell me what's best for me" scenario, but my gut tells me none of these girls think much of the manner in which Anna ended up with Josh. And they know Josh well. Gentle, selfless and child-loving, my arse.

Creepy how they kept looking over at poor Jana in unison. Either Boob has something in the works for her or they believe they're not marriage material until she's wedded off.

[snickerz]

Jessa appeared when she said how she has 10 brothers and she has kissed all 10 of them.

Wow, she'll never get married. She's given away too many pieces of her heart!

[TheJewAmongUs]

Also, since Jinger is the youngest of the four, there might not be as much pressure on her right now, so she doesn't have to moderate what she says as much.

I kept watching Jill and Jana turn to look at them in that segment and I kept thinking they were keeping the other 2 in line.

I think it was Michelle who said that as they get older, the parents will be more easy going. Does that mean that the younger ones will be allowed to kiss before marriage?

[3 is enough]

I thought Jinger's little speech about dating someone for a couple of months, thinking he is the one, and then breaking up with him seemed like a giant FU to Cousin Amy.

[xDreamerx]

They all almost certainly know that viewers have seen Jinger as the most free spirited of the foursome and have probably heard the phrase "Free Jinger", so I don't doubt Jinger has been warned about how she comes across.

Maybe it's because it was Jill of all people who seemed the most open to a less "Daddy will tell me what's best for me" scenario, but my gut tells me none of these girls think much of the manner in which Anna ended up with Josh. And they know Josh well. Gentle, selfless and child-loving, my arse.

Creepy how they kept looking over at poor Jana in unison. Either Boob has something in the works for her or they believe they're not marriage material until she's wedded off.

I wonder if they hold some weird 19th century view on the issue. I believe the older sisters were required to be presented and out in society, preferably married before the younger ones. Fundies love courtship and plaster blogs with Jane Austen so who knows.

[bananacat]

I'm not surprised that Jinger talked over Jill, because that's just how their personalities are and that will show through on any topic. Jill is more reserved and Jinger is outspoken. She just seems like the type to dominate any conversation, even one that she doesn't really agree with. And I don't mean that in a bad way because I'm the same way.

[browngrl]

I was kind of watching the Duggars while doing other stuff so I am not sure if this was one the dating episode or the one where they go to New York (they play two episodes back to back on my cable provider). Anyway during one segment the announcer asked the J slaves who would be the first to get married and they all turned to Jana who just looked down. So may be Jana is courting.

[TVR]

I think sometimes people see in Jinger (and JD) what they want to :) :) I don't think either of them does anything but toe the party line :) :)

[ladypuglover]

My son Chris is shy. Take my word for it, he would LOVE it if a girl pursued him. LOL His best friend is very nice looking and he was overjoyed when a good looking young lady expressed an interest in him before he had worked up the courage to talk to her. Some men, like some women, might like to be the pursurer but most people don't mind if someone else makes the first move.

My husband is the same way, if I hadn't pursued him he still wouldn't have married anyone. Today he has 5 sons, a wife and is very happy that I did all the chassing in the begining. He wasn't hard to catch either when he wanted this floozy catching him anyway. ;)

I really don't think these girls really know what men want because not all men want the same thing. There are tons of Christian men out there who do want a strong woman who can think for herself. Of course these men are not in the running as they will not be towing the party line of Gothard and therefore are not "Christian" in JB's eyes. The girls of JB only know what daddy wants, not what their future husband wants.

[xReems]

My boyfriend is extremely shy around girls. In high school, he was one of the guys whom every girl thought of as "just a friend." I dropped hints at him that he owed me ice cream (my way of saying "take me out cos I like you") and that's what he did. Of course, he asked me out but if I didn't give that push, he said he probably would have moved back to South Africa since he moved here and was kinda depressed/lonely.

Believe it or not, some guys actually like it when girls do some chasing. Guys can be idiots--you sometimes have to push a little so they know you're interested.

Once again, these fundies are way too sheltered to anything since their parents have raised them to be afraid of every little thing that's thrown at them. surprise, surprise.

[Letgo]

I really think something is happening with Jana. Jill, Jessa, and Jinger all looked at her at key points during the questioning. Jana herself was pretty quiet, which is her usual demeanor and what I would expect from her during a courtship. Plus, if at that point there was just a possibility of a courtship, Jana probably would not want to announce it in that discussion. She may not be involved an official courtship yet, but I think someone may have expressed interest and is acceptable to Jim Bob. Perhaps they are in the stage of asking each other all the questions that the Robotkins recommend. Maybe a potential courtship is why Jana recently attended that Gothard camp; she needed time away to pray and be sure that this was who God intended for her.

Are there any statistics on how many children remain in the Gothard/ATI system after they reach adulthood and/or marry? I know everyone thinks "free Jinger" (and all the others!) but I just don't see them leaving. They all seem completely okay with their lives. It is normal for them to raise their siblings, stay at home, avoid college, be separate from mainstream society, etc. Back when Josh and Anna were courting, I recall Sean asking... Jessa, I think, something along the lines of, "What if someone wanted to date or kiss?" Jessa looked startled and replied, "Oh, that would never happen." She sounded very definite to me. Those girls all appear to be on board with courting and parental involvement to me.

I didn't think that Jinger or any of the girls were trying to stick it to Cousin Amy. I think that Amy's experiences simply serve to reinforce what they have been taught. Amy dates a variety of guys, giving away pieces of her heart in the process, and each relationship ends in a break up, sometimes badly, then it is on to the next guy. Amy's life PROVES what they have had drilled into them. I would guess that they think she is living the wrong way and that they pray for her to see the light, even though she is damaged goods by now! Amy's dating numerous guys without any relationship ending in marriage makes it obvious that dating doesn't work, is wrong, harmful, and impure.

I have always wondered: how does Gothard view remarriage after being widowed? If a young woman's husband died, could she remarry a never married man? Would a second husband or wife only receive part of a spouse's heart since they are No. 2? What if a husband or wife cheats and then abandons a spouse? Can there be a divorce? Divorce and remarriage? Anyone know?

[Deleted03]

Sometimes I wonder if how Amy's life is, is the reason they tolerate her around so much... so many boyfriends, no "real" long term stable job, etc...

[Eponine]

Jana's high pitched, nervous laugh/gasp when Jessa claimed she had kissed a guy was priceless!!

Jessa claimed she kissed someone?! Who? When would that have happened? Details, anyone?

[Deleted03]

Jessa claimed she kissed someone?! Who? When would that have happened? Details, anyone?

I assume she followed it by saying she kissed everyone of her 10 brothers...

[higgledypiggledy]

By equating I've kissed every one of my ten brothers to the answer have you ever kissed someone or kissed a boy is strange. It sounds...yicky. I also kissed my uncles and cousins and other old family members but when I was asked if I'd ever kissed a boy as an early teen, I understood that there are different kinds of kisses and I would never have answered, "I've kissed my brothers."

[CanadianHippie]

Are there any statistics on how many children remain in the Gothard/ATI system after they reach adulthood and/or marry? I know everyone thinks "free Jinger" (and all the others!) but I just don't see them leaving. They all seem completely okay with their lives.

I don't know about stats, but remember that those who leave have a tendency to be cut out of the family, so they aren't going to be the ones you hear about.