NieNie's FU safety comments on IG

[Cheetah]

I hardly think kids need to be swaddled in bubble wrap and monitored every second, but when there are common sense PROVEN precautions you can take to increase your child's safety, I just don't get why people would willfully and proudly flaunt them? Laziness? Hubris? Stupidity? What? I really don't understand. What's the thinking here? That if something happens to your child you can just pop out another one? Are they THAT expendable?

I've been wondering if her mindset has to do with God having a plan and when it's your time to go it's your time to go (so why bother with safety devices). I don't know enough about Mormonism to know if that's a common Mormon belief, though.

[LilMissMetaphor]

Would you honestly feel better if you kept your mouth shut and a kid got hurt or if you did speak up at the risk of offending someone and possibly helped avoid the avoidable? I know what side I'm on. Maybe it's an age thing. I'm at the age where people can easily think I'm just an old busybody. And frankly, I don't care.

Well, if you don't care what they think of you for interrupting, why should they care what you think about their child-minding abilities and decision-making?

It's not my job to potentially stop something bad from happening to someone else's offspring. If the child was buckled in their seat but the parent was letting them munch on hot dogs, should I lean over and say, "Excuse me. You may think I'm butting in but I just wanted to let you know that it's very dangerous for kids to eat hot dogs that aren't cut up, it's one of the top five choking hazards. I hope you don't mind." You could argue that more kids fall out of shopping carts than choke on hot dogs, I guess. I don't know, I operate on the basis of the assumption that most people are doing the best they can with the knowledge they have, and they probably don't need or want a stranger lecturing them on what they should be doing differently.

[LadyBlue]

I hardly think kids need to be swaddled in bubble wrap and monitored every second, but when there are common sense PROVEN precautions you can take to increase your child's safety, I just don't get why people would willfully and proudly flaunt them? Laziness? Hubris? Stupidity? What? I really don't understand. What's the thinking here? That if something happens to your child you can just pop out another one? Are they THAT expendable?

People are incredibly defensive about their parenting. If you point out something is dangerous and they regularly and unthinkingly do it, they take it as a personal attack on them and their parenting. And their parents parenting, if it's been going on that long.

You should see the defensive nastiness that comes out of people in car seat safety threads. How dare anyone point out that car seats should stay in cars, that babies shouldn't be left to sleep in car seats/should be gotten out of a seat every hour at most because of positional asphyxia. Even posting that shopping carts aren't designed for car seats (even the ones with "built in" ones) and putting it on the seat can and does cause the cart to tip, sometimes seriously injuring babies. Seriously, you'd think these safety advisories were threats rather than easy ways to protect their babies.

[halfheartedheroine]

I also posted this on GOMI, this comment from one Nie's pics pissed me off because my dad had a co-worker whose daughter was killed while riding her bike in a neighorhood. Nie has managed to get fangirls who are as dumb as her.

web.stagram.com/p/461110110740955938_7940911

I don't know why she's insisting that neighborhood streets are safer... cars go slightly slower? Because I definitely fractured my skull falling off my bike about 100 yards away my front door. (No helmet, but training wheels apparently didn't stop me from toppling over either lol) I know, anecdata, but being close to home in no way guarantees your safety...

[sparkles]

Well, if you don't care what they think of you for interrupting, why should they care what you think about their child-minding abilities and decision-making?

It's not my job to potentially stop something bad from happening to someone else's offspring. If the child was buckled in their seat but the parent was letting them munch on hot dogs, should I lean over and say, "Excuse me. You may think I'm butting in but I just wanted to let you know that it's very dangerous for kids to eat hot dogs that aren't cut up, it's one of the top five choking hazards. I hope you don't mind." You could argue that more kids fall out of shopping carts than choke on hot dogs, I guess. I don't know, I operate on the basis of the assumption that most people are doing the best they can with the knowledge they have, and they probably don't need or want a stranger lecturing them on what they should be doing

Better then to let it go and start thread after thread on the interwebz mocking the mad parenting skillz of various much disliked fundies and their leghumping fangirks. Oooookay...

I shall agree to disagree. Moving on...

[OkToBeTakei]

Really? Sometimes, it IS willful negligence on the part of the parents but other times they're just distracted. It happens. As I said, I was always, ALWAYS grateful if someone cared enough about my kid to let me know that she was in a potentially dangerous situation. I never thought it was a knock on my parenting skills; just that someone else happened to catch or be aware of something that I either didn't see or wasn't aware of.

My approach has always been "Excuse me. You may think I'm butting in but I just wanted to let you know that it's very dangerous for kids to stand in shopping carts because they're so unstable. Unfortunately, I've seen a couple of very bad accidents and I'd feel terrible if something happened to your son/daughter because I didn't say something. I hope you don't mind." Seriously, I've practically got it memorized and I'm sickeningly sweet.

Would you honestly feel better if you kept your mouth shut and a kid got hurt or if you did speak up at the risk of offending someone and possibly helped avoid the avoidable? I know what side I'm on. Maybe it's an age thing. I'm at the age where people can easily think I'm just an old busybody. And frankly, I don't care.

I wouldn't mind if you said that to me. Sure I might think you were a busybody but I'm also not so damn precious about my parenting skills or pride not to see when somebody is doing something helpful.

When did a person's pride or fee fees or being OMG CRITICISED become more important to them than a potential accident to their child? Fucked up world.

[sparkles]

I know I said that I was moving on... Okay, so I lied. :mrgreen: My above response (with its very fucked up quoting) sounds kind of hand-slappy, which is not my intention. So instead of snotting off, let me rephrase things a bit and clarify something. First, I'm not the parenting police. I've never outright criticized a stranger's methods ("What's wrong with you? Can't you see your kid's doing XYZ? Gah. Some people :roll: ") nor do I think it's my job to look after anyone else's kids unless I'm being paid to do so. But as a human being, I DO feel a responsibility to help prevent the preventable, especially when I've seen what the results can be. In the two particular instances I mentioned, the shopping cart and the conveyer belt, I do speak up with the best of intentions. I can never forget seeing one little girl with facial lacerations or the sheer panic of the father of the two boys who toppled out of the cart as one son lay bleeding and unconscious and the other screamed in pain because of his broken arm. It was terrifying for me as an onlooker; I can't imagine what it felt like for the parents. Hell, it's been over 15 years and I still wonder what happened to the boy with the head injury. So I'd rather risk potentially offending someone than to walk away.

And finally, before I really DO move on, let me ask this. If you don't consider it your job to stop something bad happening to someone else's kid, then why these threads? Why report Josh Duggar for texting? Why report others to CPS? Why post criticisms on blogs like Kendall's (not sure if I got the name right) or Nie's? Is it just so you have fodder to mock? Or is it because you really DO care on some level but just find it easier to comment from the safety of the big ol' anonymous internet?

[littlemommy]

All good points, Sparkles. I would be embarrassed if you said something like that to me about my kids. I might even be defensive (though my general MO would be to tear up instead). But I would also be grateful that someone cared at all. Sometimes with multiple children I exist in a fog, especially at the store. I'm thinking that I'm tired, what I need to get, what to make this week, how much it will cost, etc. If the kids aren't raising havoc and are contained in the "car" cart I don't pay as much mind. It honestly might not even be dawning on these people that an unsafe behavior is happening.

[lilwriter85]

I don't know why she's insisting that neighborhood streets are safer... cars go slightly slower? Because I definitely fractured my skull falling off my bike about 100 yards away my front door. (No helmet, but training wheels apparently didn't stop me from toppling over either lol) I know, anecdata, but being close to home in no way guarantees your safety...

I don't why she is insisting either. Like I said before that comment just pissed me off. My dad's former co-worker's daughter died in the early 80s and the person who hit the daughter wasn't a resident of their neighborhood, but someone driving through. Maybe in neighborhoods, the residents will be very cautious knowing that there are kids and adults on bikes, but other people driving through may not be so cautious. A couple of people on GOMI, know where NieNie lives and from the sound of it, it seems that neighborhood gets outside traffic quite a bit. One GOMI poster said, that NieNie's house is somewhat close to hers and she drives through that neighborhood here and there to get certain places. She mentioned since Nie through a window once. A side note, the GOMI posters aren't stalking Nie, they only know about her address because they are LDS or have connections to her neighborhood.

I agree with you, being close to home doesn't guarantee your safety. But again, NieNie's fangirls are usually idiots like her. In the past they have jumped to defend NieNie when others express legitimate concern. I also chuckled when I click on the above fangirl's IG account and she had a link to her blog. Her blog is about living in Italy with her husband and baby. The fangirl is Catholic and there is no way that NieNie would give a shit about a Catholic being her fan. NieNie probably only cares about her Mormon fans.

[mrs]

I was shopping once in Macys. There was a family, mother, father, a toddler girl, and new born. The parents were off shopping 20-30 yards away from the toddler and new born who was in the stroller. I turned around and saw the toddler pull the baby out of the stroller and start to hold her and it was obvious she was about to drop the baby. I normally would not think of touching a stranger’s baby, but I instinctively went over to the littler girl ask her if she needed help, and put the baby back in the stroller. Then I ask a sales associate to watch the children while I went to find the mother and father.

I think everyone has a story where they have helped a stranger when they saw something dangerous. I think it is not being a busy body.

Now, I don’t read Nie but could she just remove the helmets for pictures and then put them back on after. I am assuming they are not “in motion†for the picture.

[lilwriter85]

I was shopping once in Macys. There was a family, mother, father, a toddler girl, and new born. The parents were off shopping 20-30 yards away from the toddler and new born who was in the stroller. I turned around and saw the toddler pull the baby out of the stroller and start to hold her and it was obvious she was about to drop the baby. I normally would not think of touching a stranger’s baby, but I instinctively went over to the littler girl ask her if she needed help, and put the baby back in the stroller. Then I ask a sales associate to watch the children while I went to find the mother and father.

I think everyone has a story where they have helped a stranger when they saw something dangerous. I think it is not being a busy body.

Now, I don’t read Nie but could she just remove the helmets for pictures and then put them back on after. I am assuming they are not “in motion” for the picture.

I get the feeling that she doesn't use helmets at all. She has been called out before for not using helmets. I remember pics from about a year ago of her husband and the girls riding bikes on a sidewalk and I remember they weren't wearing helmets.

[August]

I have heard comments that her husband abandoned her in the plane fire. That is the one thing I cannot wrap my brain around, and cannot find information when I did try to look. However, I also have heard she scrubbed that information when she began famewhoring her story. Can someone explain that?

I would not blame anyone for not running into a fire to save me. I would bevery grateful if they did, but I wouldn't blame them for not doing it.

[August]

All good points, Sparkles. I would be embarrassed if you said something like that to me about my kids. I might even be defensive (though my general MO would be to tear up instead). But I would also be grateful that someone cared at all. Sometimes with multiple children I exist in a fog, especially at the store. I'm thinking that I'm tired, what I need to get, what to make this week, how much it will cost, etc. If the kids aren't raising havoc and are contained in the "car" cart I don't pay as much mind. It honestly might not even be dawning on these people that an unsafe behavior is happening.

Why even be embarrassed? We all live and learn. I've had a guy in Home Depot see my kid taking their shoes off and gently tell them not to. My kid was mortified, I was grateful. It takes a village, you know?

[emesbe]

I'm an example of shopping cart safety (or un-safety). Remember those older shopping carts that detached on the side opposite the handle? I was about 4, shopping with my grandma, I was messing around in the cart, she told me to quit it, and I didn't. I pushed on the side too much, and it detached, and I fell on the floor, head first. Concussion. It's one of my earliest memories. All I remember is the uncontrollable, continual vomiting in the ER. My poor granny.

[emesbe]

I've been wondering if her mindset has to do with God having a plan and when it's your time to go it's your time to go (so why bother with safety devices). I don't know enough about Mormonism to know if that's a common Mormon belief, though.

No, it's not. There are idiots in every religion. I just do not understand the Nielson's mindset. "We were in an incredibly ugly plane crash, almost died, safety precautions, fuck em!"

[GolightlyGrrl]

When will these people learn that you don't get Jesus points for putting your kids in danger?

But don't you know God provides bike helmets, safety jackets, and nutritious meals for 11 out of only two chicken breasts?

As for Nie Nie? I just get a feeling she's an entitled, snotty ass.

[emesbe]

As for Nie Nie? I just get a feeling she's an entitled, snotty ass.

BAZINGA

[Freyacat]

Well, if you don't care what they think of you for interrupting, why should they care what you think about their child-minding abilities and decision-making?

It's not my job to potentially stop something bad from happening to someone else's offspring. If the child was buckled in their seat but the parent was letting them munch on hot dogs, should I lean over and say, "Excuse me. You may think I'm butting in but I just wanted to let you know that it's very dangerous for kids to eat hot dogs that aren't cut up, it's one of the top five choking hazards. I hope you don't mind." You could argue that more kids fall out of shopping carts than choke on hot dogs, I guess. I don't know, I operate on the basis of the assumption that most people are doing the best they can with the knowledge they have, and they probably don't need or want a stranger lecturing them on what they should be doing differently.

But the thing is, even if they are doing the best with the knowledge they have, why does that mean they should be resistant to more knowledge? It's all in the approach. Let's say I didn't know hot dogs were a choking hazard. If someone said "Oh my god, you horrible mother, why are you feeding your kid hot dogs - what kind of idiot doesn't know that's a choking hazard?" I would probably be offended. Not by the safety comment, but by the name calling. But if someone said to me "Hey, just in case you didn't know - they could actually choke on those, my doctor recommends cutting them in pieces," I would not be offended. There are so many things to think of re: safety that I am totally willing to accept that I (and most moms) might have missed a few, and as long as it's kindly worded, I would be glad to know. Not sure why some moms need to be right 100% of the time and think they can't possibly learn anything new from a well-meaning stranger or friend.

[LilMissMetaphor]

Why report Josh Duggar for texting? Why report others to CPS? Why post criticisms on blogs like Kendall's (not sure if I got the name right) or Nie's?

I don't. I would never make a real-life report of these people.

And if I criticize them here? It's because it's...fun. Stress-relieving. A way to kill a few minutes. I don't know. Whatever.

I've never pretended I care about their kids.

[LilMissMetaphor]

But if someone said to me "Hey, just in case you didn't know - they could actually choke on those, my doctor recommends cutting them in pieces," I would not be offended.

I wouldn't be offended either, as such, but I would still wonder why they were interfering.

[dawbs]

Why even be embarrassed? We all live and learn. I've had a guy in Home Depot see my kid taking their shoes off and gently tell them not to. My kid was mortified, I was grateful. It takes a village, you know?

Probably because of the sanctimonious 'concern trolling' that can happen IRL. We've all seen it and dealt with it.

And what's a 'choice' and what's 'willful ignorance' is so blurry. It makes people feel like they have to justify their choices

Example, someone pointing out that I should cut up grapes, fine, whatev, I should cut up grapes or slice my hot-dog lengthwise for my kid (and I usually do both)--but when grapes or hot dogs are the first thing I've convinced my kid to eat in 48 hours, and she won't eat them cut up, I'm weighing my risks and watching her like a hawk and letting her eat them whole.

But if someone told me, I'd be torn between "let me explain why I"m making this choice" and "fuck off, I know what I"m doing". Which reaction would probably depend on how close to my breaking point I was that day.

[beckerbuns]

Why even be embarrassed? We all live and learn. I've had a guy in Home Depot see my kid taking their shoes off and gently tell them not to. My kid was mortified, I was grateful. It takes a village, you know?

People have done this with my kids. I've pointed out to other people's kids that they shouldn't do this that or the other for safety's sake. People are usually not mad or embarrassed. It really does take a village.

[lilwriter85]

No, it's not. There are idiots in every religion. I just do not understand the Nielson's mindset. "We were in an incredibly ugly plane crash, almost died, safety precautions, fuck em!"

I think that is exactly what people find so troubling about the Nielsons. Christian and Nie went through a horrible experience, but it seems they don't take precautions to prevent their kids from being injured in other situations. I think they always been a bit careless with their kids. Several months before the crash, Nie wrote about an incident in which toddler Nicholas somehow managed to get out of the house. She didn't know and a cop brought him. Nie is human and people make mistakes, but I remember that posting didn't show any signs of Nie fully realizing what happend. She mentioned touching the cop's arm and how that wasn't a good idea. My theory is that Nie tried to downplay or sweet talk the cop about Nicholas wandering around and the cop didn't buy it. The cop probably was upset that Nie touched him.

They also don't put helmets on their kids when they ride ATVs at the family ranch in New Mexico. They also seem a bit neglectful about other things. Her kids kept some kind of lizard as a pet. I think the older kids might have treated the lizard well, but Nie would write in posts about baby Charlotte putting the lizard in her mouth and other times she would try to strangle it.

[Dysfundamental]

I wouldn't be offended either, as such, but I would still wonder why they were interfering.

Because it's more important to them to prevent a child from choking than to cater to their caregivers' sense of not being "interfered" with. I honestly don't give a rat's ass if someone thinks I'm rude for pointing out that they're endangering their child, or indeed for keeping their child from endangering themselves.

[Freyacat]

I wouldn't be offended either, as such, but I would still wonder why they were interfering.

Maybe because they don't want the kid to choke? Seriously, why would you place the parents' need to be right over the safety of a child?