Fundie-lite parents humiliate child as "punishment"

[sassycupcake]

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/parent ... 17447.html

The article doesn't specifically call these people out on being fundie-lite, but there are tell-tale signs sprinkled throughout the text:

Questionable command of English language

"wanted to instill Christian values"

Got the idea from a "Christian counselor"

Child broken at end of ordeal

Made a point of mentioning that the girl "has no electronics to confiscate"

And the worst part of all: the 13-year-old girl started acting out after a close family member died. But instead of seeking help from a (qualified, not "Christian") therapist, the parents decided to publicly humiliate her.

Edited because of HTML fail.

[MarthaMarcyMayMarlen]

Stupid assholes.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I hate this trend in publically humiliating kids for not behaving :( Its so dehumanizing and embarassing.

The poor kid's uncle died, so of course shes going to be acting out at home and not doing as well at school. That is totally normal, they should have thought of that and focussed on getting her to a therapist instead of humiliating her and making her problems worse.

[GodsKnickers]

Ah. The religious parenting standby. Parenting by humilation. My foks were big into that, though they didn't do this sign thing. Between this, the verbal abuse and the physical abuse, if I was for some reason forced to live that all over again, I'd take the beatings day in and day out, over the rest of it. Bruises and broken bones heal. The rest is a lot harder to get beyond.

[Koala]

I posted about this on my fb yesterday. This is a 13 year old little girl who lost her brother in 2011 and her uncle more recently. According to her mother she "shut down" after that. Solution? Public humiliation. :angry-steamingears:

I don't ever under any circumstances agree with shaming a child, but I am particularly heartbroken for this little girl. She needs grief counseling and the love of her parents.

I am also very suspicious of the mother's assertion that she had no idea this could draw media attention. Bullshit! There has been a rash of parents publicly shaming their children recently, from the bastard that shot up his daughter's laptop, to the mom that made her small children wear t-shirts to school declaring them "thieves". They are all.over.the.news. Did you REALLY think standing your daughter on a busy street corner with a sign full of insults wouldn't draw attention? Really?

I could write so much more, but this whole situation just has me so upset. :(

[Peas n carrots]

Not only is the public humiliation disgusting, but the Internet is forever. They couldn't be as stupid as to not expect it to go viral.

They forgot to remember colleges, workplaces, etc will google her name when she applies for them. Guess what is going to be the first thing that comes up when her name is googled.

Riffles

[Rainytown]

Wow, Gentry and Renee Nickell, you sure showed her. I never knew depression and grief were signs of "self-entitlement". It would be nice to see Gentry and Renee forced to stand on a street corner with signs listing THEIR various misdeeds. I'm sure there's plenty, one of which is trusting the "Christian counselor" for advice on what to do with their 13-year-old. $10 says the "Christian counselor" is a fundie at their church with no clinical training or certification.

IIRC, the asshole who shot up his daughter's laptop was angling for a reality TV show after the fact. I note the "groundswell of support" he received seems to have gone elsewhere.

[Ellimenopy]

"I knew it was coming." means I knew they wanted to pull some shit like this and they'd find an excuse to do it sooner or later. Yes, kids with parents like this "know it's coming," but that doesn't mean that they agree they deserve it.

[guidedbybobafett]

That article was shaming those parents ("self-entitled isn't a word") in the best way possible.

[Mela99]

There was a judge in my hometown who started doing this for juvies with misdemeanor-ish violations. Had one kid stand by a convenience store for using a fake ID to try and buy cigarettes. He got mixed reviews.

The worst, WORST case of this I ever heard was a mom making her daughter hand out condoms on a street corner because she caught her and her boyfriend having sex. What that was supposed to prove, I'm really not sure.

[TheJewAmongUs]

3 "D" 's

See kids, you have to work on keeping your English grades up. You may need to proofread your punishment signs.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

So what would the parents have done if daughter just said "fuck it, no, I'm not doing that"? Called them on their bluff?

Either way, do parents pulling these schemes not realize that likely as not their kid is saying inside "okay, fine then, that's how it is, I have XXX days until I turn 18 and then I'm outa here, have a nice life"?

If I'm there by the highway with Dad and that sign, I don't know what I'd do. Be serious is definitely not among the options, though. Possibly mug it up and point to his head when a car passes, maybe. What's he gonna do, out there in public? Yeah later is a problem but again, if I just refused to go to the highway, what would he have done anyway? Take my phone? Whatever. I'll live without it and never let you know it upset me. Kid learns "don't depend on your parents for anything. Learn to live on the minimum and not need luxuries. There's internet at the library."

I dunno. This kind of story enrages me in a not-healthy way and surely its baggage from various punishments I remember but again yeah, so that's why I ask, how can they not see that odds are their kid is just gonna say "eff this, whatever, I play the game until I'm free and then see ya"?

Setting up a battle of wills is just not a good idea.

[Patsy]

Humiliating/belittling a spouse is a form of abuse. I sometimes boggle at the contempt parents have for their children.

[Rarity65]

Poor girl, she's grieving and instead of seeking therapy ( a real therapist not a fundie one) she's punished.

[NurseNell]

I posted about this on my fb yesterday. This is a 13 year old little girl who lost her brother in 2011 and her uncle more recently. According to her mother she "shut down" after that. Solution? Public humiliation. :angry-steamingears:

I don't ever under any circumstances agree with shaming a child, but I am particularly heartbroken for this little girl. She needs grief counseling and the love of her parents.

I didn't see anything about a brother dying, just the uncle, to whom she was close. I do not believe in doing this type of public humiliation even for something serious but to do it for a child who is mourning the loss of her uncle is neglect and abuse. She needs grief therapy and love, not this.

[swissbeauty]

This shit is child abuse, plain and simple. I wonder if CPS would ever get involved, though I highly doubt it, as they tend to neglect kids who are in obvious dire states :?

[swissbeauty]

There was a judge in my hometown who started doing this for juvies with misdemeanor-ish violations. Had one kid stand by a convenience store for using a fake ID to try and buy cigarettes. He got mixed reviews.

The worst, WORST case of this I ever heard was a mom making her daughter hand out condoms on a street corner because she caught her and her boyfriend having sex. What that was supposed to prove, I'm really not sure.

I'd be worried about the kind of creepy, possibly dangerous attention by daughter would get standing on the corner handing out condoms. :shifty: What kind of horrible parenting...

Christ, it's CONSENSUAL SEX, not the end of the earth, lady. Our culture is so sex negative and slut-shaming. If she caught her son would she have decided this was a good idea?

[NurseNell]

This shit is child abuse, plain and simple. I wonder if CPS would ever get involved, though I highly doubt it, as they tend to neglect kids who are in obvious dire states :?

This happened in FL where children die in foster care without anyone even knowing. No, CPS isn't going to care about a white child from a middle income 2 parent home.

[yewchapel]

A teen questioning authority is surely just normal development, even in a non-grieving teen? I am childfree but I could never treat children with as much cruelty as fundies do.

[AnnieC 305]

Not only is the public humiliation disgusting, but the Internet is forever. They couldn't be as stupid as to not expect it to go viral.

They forgot to remember colleges, workplaces, etc will google her name when she applies for them. Guess what is going to be the first thing that comes up when her name is googled.

Riffles

Back in the day things didn't go viral, but my NPD mother made sure every humiliating lie and story she could make up got all over town.

My solution? Move away and change my name. I don't know if it would work now but it worked then.

We're also no longer on speaking terms. And she will never meet her grandchildren. Her loss.

[Feberin]

I hate this whole shaming as punishment trend. I am confused how anyone thinks this is a good idea. One of the worst ones is the poor toddler who pooped in the shower.

[swissbeauty]

I hate this whole shaming as punishment trend. I am confused how anyone thinks this is a good idea. One of the worst ones is the poor toddler who pooped in the shower.

Not only is that awful, that's just GROSS.

It really reminds me of:

http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/

[Guest Anonymous]

I am also very suspicious of the mother's assertion that she had no idea this could draw media attention. Bullshit! There has been a rash of parents publicly shaming their children recently, from the bastard that shot up his daughter's laptop, to the mom that made her small children wear t-shirts to school declaring them "thieves". They are all.over.the.news. Did you REALLY think standing your daughter on a busy street corner with a sign full of insults wouldn't draw attention? Really?

I could write so much more, but this whole situation just has me so upset. :(

I'm guessing she expected the media attention to involve copious amounts of sunshine, blown directly up her arse.

I'm so sad for the girl involved. :(

[OkToBeTakei]

Whoever said in the article that teenagers commit suicide for far less is bang on. This is just awful. I hope the girl gets to see the backlash against her parents.

[Syd+Marky]

A 13 yr old girl loses a close family member,and then "shut's down",so she earns poor grades.Her parents then publicly humiliate a child who may be in the accute phase of PTSD,hence the "shutting down."They are choosing to re-traumatize her,possibly compounding the problem.(people who are traumatized often have a feeling of "knowing whats coming")-because they cant come up with a punishment equal to confiscating electronics?We didnt have cell phones,i pads, and personal computers when I was a kid, and my parents never ran out of ideas.(or xtra chores).For that matter there was a time my 15 yr old girl had already lost her computer,TV,phone,and bedroom door.Shes still doing chores to earn the door.