Do you think older, unmarried SAHD's see a gynocologist?

[Chrystal-J]

I am so sorry for your bad experience. It should not have been like that. I used to be a family doctor before I switched specialities and I have done so many pap smears I have lost count (I did almost exclusively women's health care) and I have NEVER had to use laughing gas EVER. If a woman had a serious physical abnormality (eg female circumcision,severe arthritis in their back/hips etc) then very special care and preparation (possible even referral to a gynecologist) might be needed but I can tell you as a fact I have never had a patient yell/cry/suffer during a pap smear. Please do not give up on pap smears - they really do save lives, instead consider: finding a new doctor.

In my opinion, I think it hurt cuz he didn't use any gel (or very little). Cuz when I sat up after it was over, I noticed his tray only had some gyno-tools on it. I didn't see any gel tubes. I was super dizzy when I sat up. Then I asked him if it was normal for the exam to hurt so much and make me dizzy. He didn't seem to think it was out of the ordinary. So, then I started thinking maybe it was normal for the exam to hurt and I was just lucky that last time when it didn't hurt as much.

Sorry for making the thread go off-topic. (Thanks for the support everyone.)

[Wolfie]

If you're not sexually active, it's not as important to go. Cervical cancer is almost always caused by hpv, and a regular pap wouldn't find ovarian cancer. I was told I really didn't need to go in until I was sexually active.

If a doctor does an exam along with the pap they can tell if the ovaries are the right size. (I had an ovarian cancer scare last year, and now will keep going in regularly.)

I've had a bad pap, but even then it included lube, the issue there was that the tools were COLD. I was so thankful that the last one used warmed tools.

[tressea]

Wow, it sounds like a lot of people on this board have had unusually bad experiences (or doctors with really terrible technique). Let me just assure everyone who HASN'T had a pelvic exam, yet, that unless you have some sort of unusual issue or or a really terrible doctor, it's not NEARLY as bad as you might think. Seriously.

I dreaded going for YEARS AND YEARS and was completely freaked out for weeks before I went for the first time, and then I went and it was totally anticlimatic. I was actually angry at myself afterwards for having spent so much time and energy worrying about something that was not that big of a deal. Is it awkward and a bit embarrassing? Sure. Is it the worst medical procedure you've ever gone through? Absolutely not. It's over really, really quick and though it's a bit uncomfortable, I've never had it outright hurt. So, yeah, it's not something to spend a lot of mental energy on.

And, wow, that I've gone through natural childbirth and had that many people staring that intently at my crotch for that amount of time, pelvic exams are NOTHING. I think I checked my e-mail on my Blackberry the last time I had one. Not a big deal at all.

[alysee]

I have read over this thread and I am totally ashamed to admit I am almost 25 and never gone. People have said it isn't bad but I don't even want to think about it. I have only had sex with one guy so I keep telling myself I am fine but you never know.

[VodouDoll]

If Steve Maxwell won't even let his kids get on airplanes because the security measures are too immodest, he's definitely not letting Sarah and Anna visit the gyno.

I've had a full pap and pelvic every year since I was 18. It's just good sense, considering it's sometimes the only way to know if you have a problem. And you can get problems even if you're not sexually active. It doesn't take long, and you can mostly just look at the ceiling and pretend you're somewhere else until it's over.

If you go and it hurts unbearably, then you should talk to your doctor. My friend had that problem until her doctor realized that my friend's vagina is basically in backwards. Ever since then, her doctor has been able to adjust pap technique and my friend hasn't had a problem.

[dirtyhippiegirl]

Def don't go every year. No history of cervical cancer in my family, extremely long-standing monogamous relationship, etc. So I go about every 3 years for a pap.

I'm just lucky that my father is a doctor and can call in refills on my bc so that I don't have to go every year. (I hate how gyns dangle that over you.)

[Wolfie]

I'm just lucky that my father is a doctor and can call in refills on my bc so that I don't have to go every year. (I hate how gyns dangle that over you.)

I'm on BC to control hormones (to prevent migraines and the issues that caused the cancer scare), but my dr just says every other year, and auto renews every 6 months or so.

[Katiebug]

And, wow, that I've gone through natural childbirth and had that many people staring that intently at my crotch for that amount of time, pelvic exams are NOTHING. I think I checked my e-mail on my Blackberry the last time I had one. Not a big deal at all.

No kidding! During my prenatal care and delivery and the two days I spent in the hospital after delivering, I had so many people up in my lady business that it just doesn't bother me anymore.

Some of it has to do with the doctor, IMO. I used to dread going for well woman exams. I went to a female GYN and she and I just never clicked and I found her exams to be rough. She also didn't talk to you except during the exam itself, which meant I just kept my mouth shut in hopes of getting the hell out of there as quickly as possible. She was always kind of dismissive of my concerns, like I was wasting her time. I went doctor shopping when I knew we were going to try for a baby (she didn't do obstetrics and I didn't want to deliver at the hospital she's affiliated with anyways), and now see a male OBGYN. Not only is he very gentle with exams, but he sits and talks with you beforehand while you're still fully clothed and comfortable! He also has a great bedside manner and sense of humor and it's obvious that he genuinely cares about patients.

I doubt the SAHDs go for well woman exams unless there is a clear problem and they're brave enough to mention it to their mothers.

[Jessica]

I have read over this thread and I am totally ashamed to admit I am almost 25 and never gone. People have said it isn't bad but I don't even want to think about it. I have only had sex with one guy so I keep telling myself I am fine but you never know.

I hear ya! If it weren't for my family history, I probably wouldn't go. I am considering emailing my midwife and asking if she can hook me up with some laughing gas or something during the procedure. Ugh. People always say to read what happens because "knowledge is power". Honestly, doing that makes me all sweaty and shaky and I usually end up crying. :oops: When I was pregnant and 8 days past my due date she wanted to see if I was dilated at all (my husband was on leave from being deployed so The Boy had to come quick to meet his dad before he had to leave!) and it took over 2 hours to do it. Ugh.

No, I have never been sexually abused, I just grew up in a home and culture where your body is ugly, gross, nasty, dirty, smells weird, etc. so it kinda warped me for life...

[InkyGirl]

Ok this thread is really scaring me... :|

I second that. :shock: I'll be going in for my first here soon and am already freaked about it.

Weird question: Can you bring someone in with you? Like a spouse? I just would do so much better if I wasn't alone.

[Jessica]

Yes, you can. I'd love for my husband to be with me but unfortunately, thanks to the military, he will be in Korea until 3 days after I go in. :(

I actually refused to get one at my first prenatal care visit and told the nurse why and she just rolled her eyes and said "Um, if you can't even do this how on earth do you plan to give birth?" (uh, I dunno, the same way I'm able to poop on a regular basis but the thought of a colonoscopy freaks me out? ya think?) Thanks lady. Then I found my wonderful midwife.

[Koala]

Something is off...get another doctor. I have NEVER heard of laughing gas being given for a pap smear.

[Koala]

I second that. :shock: I'll be going in for my first here soon and am already freaked about it.

Weird question: Can you bring someone in with you? Like a spouse? I just would do so much better if I wasn't alone.

Insist on it, if it makes your more comfortable. This is YOUR choice. They are working for you, not visa versa.

[InkyGirl]

Insist on it, if it makes your more comfortable. This is YOUR choice. They are working for you, not visa versa.

I need to be insistent. When I went to planned parenthood for a BC consultation they wouldn't let him come back with me. I was so freaked 'cuz I thought it was going to be the whole shebang but it turned out to just be a q&a type deal. It upset him almost as much as me since he'd seen me freaking out all day just thinking about it.

[tressea]

InkyGirl-- I know it's scary and sounds completely awful, but you will be fine. And you should totally bring someone that you feel comfortable with! Seriously... I dreaded it for years and years and years, and then I went in for my first one, got it done, and then literally sat and said, "That was it????" The doctor laughed. I would echo the sentiments of some of the previous posters, though: make sure you go to a doctor that you feel comfortable with and has a good bedside manner. That can make all the difference in the world.

[bea]

The doctor should be fine about letting you bring someone in if it makes you more comfortable - and it should NOT hurt. It sounds like this guy was unnecessarily rough and frankly, having someone "need" to give you laughing gas to get through a pelvic exam rings my alarm bells for creepy.

FWIW, I'm 38, have been pregnant three times, two living kids, and started getting PAP smears and gyne checks when I was 16. My grandmother died of ovarian cancer and my aunt has had breast cancer twice, so my family encourages all of us to be vigilant about getting checked. I go every year, without fail. It's not a whole lot of fun, but I'd imagine dying of cancer or getting a mastectomy and going through radiation are even LESS fun, you know?

My OB/GYN uses a ton of gel even with women who've delivered babies vaginally, a teeny-tiny speculum, and has skinny hands. He says the skinny hands make him a very popular OB for cervical checks in pregnant women. :lol:

[chaotic life]

Crystal-J, are you sure you weren't being assualted? I have never, ever, ever heard of a pap smear hurting like THAT. I've heard of discomfort, but never pain. If there's pain that bad, then something is wrong. Furthermore, I've never heard of laughing gas being used for a pap. Was there a female nurse in the exam room when you had that pap? These days, most doctors have a female assistant present just to avoid any appearance of impropriety, even female doctors. I would have serious concerns about a doctor being that violating with an alert patient and what that same doctor would do to an impaired patient. That sends major red flags to me, honestly. Having 3 IUDs placed in my life didn't hurt to the level you describe your pap smear hurting. And, an IUD placement is no walk in the park, let me tell you.

[bananacat]

I'm sure they don't go because of the stigma of hpv being sexually transmitted. In fact, I am doubtful that even the married women would go for paps because that would basically be admitting to cheating or accusing their husband of cheating. And of course it gets expensive to have yearly check ups for half a dozen SAHDs, so they'll say that you don't have enough faith in God if you want to get yearly exams.

What worries me is that many sheltered people don't know what "sexual active" means. HPV is the same virus that causes regular warts so you can still be a technical virgin and catch it from foreplay. There are also some non-sexual ways to get cervical cancer as was mentioned above.

[YPestis]

Given how "modest" these fundie families like to be, I think any issues with the genital regions would be ignored until the pain/discomfort is excruiating. I can't imagine the Maxwells sending their daughters to do regular paps. They probably figure nothing can really go wrong if they haven't been sexually active. Remember, this is the same family that blacks out all references to drugs in their textbooks because they don't believe their children will ever have to deal with that.

The new guidelines, as of the last couple of years when I learned them in my OB rotation, is that paps are recommended for those over age 21. I know, it's a pretty major change, but I guess current evidence suggests the consequences of false positives outweighs benefits of early detection (since cervical cancer is so rare among teens).

I have a feeling that fundies avoid seeing gynos unless they're pregnant. They probably figure only sinful activities can cause problems in the genital regions otherwise. Very sad, as something like 80% of women will contract HPV since it's so easy to transmit, and the women does not need to have sex to get it. Cervical cancer is one of the most easily treatment cancers if caught early.

[Chrystal-J]

Chaotic Life,

I'll have to say when that doctor said he sometimes knocks patients out to do a pap-smear--I was taken aback, very shocked. I told him that having that exam hurt as much as when I gave birth to my son. He didn't seems fazed, he just said "Well, at least this pain was shorter than that." Weird that he didn't think the painful pap-smear was wrong. There was a female nurses' aid in the room. But, at that clinic, nurses aids come and go. They also have a lot of interns. So, I didn't know her. And she just stood by quietly the whole time, never said anything. She didn't even say anything when he yelled at me to "stop moving!!" (Cuz it hurt so much I started moving backwards, away from him.) And the minute the exam was over, she left. Then after that another odd thing happened. I sat up on the table and the doctor was sitting on a stool at the edge of the table (by my feet). When the exam was over I was very dizzy, so I set my feet down on (what I thought) was a ledge beneath the table I was sitting on. My feet were there for a few minutes before I realized they felt funny. So, I looked down and my feet were actually resting on my doctor's legs. I felt that was really weird that he never said anything about my feet resting on his legs. Like bea said, the whole thing kinda creepy. Another thing was that I look much younger than my age and when I told him how old I am, he seemed almost disappointed and said "Oh really? You look much younger..." I thought that was weird too, but I brushed it off. I guess the whole appointment was weird, now that I think about it.

[Guest Anonymous]

There is no way I would ever go back to that doctor and I would write bad reviews on google and everywhere.

[Koala]

Please find a new doctor. Something is very wrong with this situation.

[Chrystal-J]

I'm glad I came here cuz I don't have anyone to talk to about this kind of thing. It's hard for me to gauge if something is "okay" or not. Glad to know I'm not blowing this situation out of proportion and it really was a weird/difficult appointment. Thanks for everyone's input.

[Cran]

G

I have a feeling that fundies avoid seeing gynos unless they're pregnant. They probably figure only sinful activities can cause problems in the genital regions otherwise. Very sad, as something like 80% of women will contract HPV since it's so easy to transmit, and the women does not need to have sex to get it. Cervical cancer is one of the most easily treatment cancers if caught early.

Would you be prepared to bet that they see a gyno when pregnangt? ;)

I'd vouch that many go completely unassisted.

[xDreamerx]

Holy shit. I've never gone. I should. But I haven't and now I'm scared. I mean, the thought of it just terrifies me. You lie there while someone is all up in your personal space. I know he's seen probably thousands and I'm not special. I know they just take a swab and you're out of there no big deal, but it's the awkwardness of it all. I mean, would it inappropriate to make chitchat? My doctor always asks how my mom is and I don't want to be asked about her in that moment lol. I'm also terrified of him making some off the cuff comment about me, that's intended to be funny or something but then I take it wrong and end up with a complex lol.

Chrystal J ~ Though I have never gone, what happened to you DOES NOT read as something that was alright. I would absolutely find another doctor and make a complaint against the one that did that you. It's just not right. I'm sorry that happened to you.