Duggar daughters

[xDreamerx]

I don't know, I guess I just wish my mom would have talked to me and asked me how I felt about it rather than just assuming that was something I wanted to celebrate. She was trying so hard to convince me that it was wonderful and normal, only I di't need any convincing. I was one of those that followed my mom into the bathroom as a small child, so I had always know what periods were. It already seemed normal to me, and then she tried to make a big deal of it. I think that's probably why I started trying to hide it from her, because I just didn't want to talk to her about it. It's not that I was embarrassed or ashamed. I'm just naturally a very private, modest person, and that's not really something I like to discuss.

Of course, the real issue is that my mom has never been able to accept the fact that her oldest daughter is not Just Like Her, but that's another story.

I think you are just as right. It's an individual preference. No two women are going to feel the same about it. I say, if you don't want to make a big deal, don't. I'm sorry you had to go through that. For what it's worth I think a lot of parents assume their children are like them and it can be...emotionally difficult? Maybe that's not the right way to put it. I figure nearly everyone is going to fuck up with their kids with some kind of emotional thing or trauma, so just try to fuck them up in the least degree possible (I don't mean abusively or to condone abuse, I just mean in the normal ways you described).

[bicyclecat]

I don't get the whole ceremony/celebration thing. My mom tried to do some of that with me, and I think that's a big part of the reason why I still, at age 21, have an obsessive need to hide my period from everyone. Making a positive big deal out of it is still making a big deal out of it. I just don't understand why some people want to view it as something awesome or special or sacred or whatever. It's a bodily function. It happens to all of us (women). Why is that something to celebrate?

I understand the notion of celebrating it, but I'm glad that it didn't happen for me either. As long as there's nothing wrong, I prefer to keep my bodily functions personal. I don't necessarily feel that I need to hide it or anything. At my age, I think it's pretty obvious that I have periods. But, I just don't think that the world needs to know about it.

However, I must say that I was much more uncomfortable with my developing chest than I ever was about my period.

[Feberin]

My grandmother lived with us and she insisted that I hide it from my brother because she didn't want him asking questions. I probably should have asked my dad about this because I don't think he would have been as bad but I had a seperate trash can to throw everything in. My dad bought everything I needed and he didn't try to hide anything but my grandmother impressed this so much that I used to even bring ziplock bags with me so I could bring home used things instead of throwing them away at a friend or relative's house. I've gotten over it now but I really thought at the time that it was something I needed to hide.

[desertvixen]

@ Sophie - It's never been an option that I was interested in (Divacup). The thing was, at our exchange, they'd have like the damn SuperJumboCrinkly MaxiPads and 1 type of tampon.... and 40 different men's mags. Anyway...

@xDreamerX - There's some stuff out there that's not too bad.

A Piece of My Heart (don't recall the author) is a book of essays about women in the Vietnam conflict (not all military)

Officer, Nurse, Woman (Kara Vuic) is specifically about the Army Nurse Corps, pretty decent read.

For the current conflict, there's Love My Rifle More Than You (Kayla Williams), but that's not necessarily a typical story.

I hear Band of Sisters was good, but I haven't read it yet.

[fundyfunland]

do you think you could use a divacup? seems like what I would take out there... it does need some water at some point, maybe you did not have that much to spare... (yeah you can laugh, I have no idea lol)

[bananacat]

Okay this is really off topic and really dumb but I've always wondered what women do about their periods if they're in the army. What if they have to go on a 12 hour mission with all guys? I mean I guess at that point modesty and privacy aren't that important....but I don't know I just always wondered.

And don't get me wrong- I'm not a crazy person like people we've seen saying women shouldn't be in the military. I just have too much time on my hands and think about random things like this haha. And it makes me think about how much I would never want to be in the military. (PMS in Iraq? Ugh. Props to the ladies out there)

I'm pretty sure the male soldiers are big boys who don't freak out about tampons. Most women actually don't have PMS (having cramps during menstruation isn't PMS). I'm sure the women in the military just make do the same way everyone does with going to the bathroom. Tampons and pads are distributed but if you don't have any handy then you just make do. And the men around you just get over it. Periods really aren't a big deal for many women, and once you get over the shame of hiding it, it's even less of an ordeal.

[bananacat]

I don't get the whole ceremony/celebration thing. My mom tried to do some of that with me, and I think that's a big part of the reason why I still, at age 21, have an obsessive need to hide my period from everyone. Making a positive big deal out of it is still making a big deal out of it. I just don't understand why some people want to view it as something awesome or special or sacred or whatever. It's a bodily function. It happens to all of us (women). Why is that something to celebrate?

I agree. It should just be treated normally. My mom didn't make a big deal either way when I started. Celebrating my first period makes about as much sense as celebrating my first poop. It's not shameful but neither it is some amazing fantastic thing worth celebrating. It's just a part of life and I wouldn't make a big deal about it either way. It's not like I'm some special flower for having it. I guess you could view it as a rite of passage into adulthood, but I was nowhere near an adult at 10 when I started and I think there are other things to celebrate that reflect it more closely, like high school graduation or learning to drive a car.

[mstee]

I'm pretty sure the male soldiers are big boys who don't freak out about tampons. Most women actually don't have PMS (having cramps during menstruation isn't PMS). I'm sure the women in the military just make do the same way everyone does with going to the bathroom. Tampons and pads are distributed but if you don't have any handy then you just make do. And the men around you just get over it. Periods really aren't a big deal for many women, and once you get over the shame of hiding it, it's even less of an ordeal.

Yeah I'm sure the guys don't care- I was just always curious. And I meant PMS- I get all foggy, unfocused, crabby and sometimes nauseous before my period and can't imagine dealing with that while dealing with war. That's just me, though, and I'm just not tough like that.

[joe_mulcahy]

Wow, I'm sorry to hear of those of you who suffer through unpleasant or even painful periods. My wife apparently doesn't suffer too much, although she'll only have a few periods a year (due to athletic amenorrhoea), but when she does, she's just her usual workaholic self, except that she craves dairy products (which she won't eat at any other time because she's lactose intolerant, but when she gets the cravings she takes enzymatic lactase supplements), so it's a great excuse for me to make pizzas from scratch and to experiment with making new ice cream concoctions.

As for the Duggars, I really really feel for them if any one gets cramps, headaches, other discomforts or even cravings. From the beginning when I heard that the girls all had that long hair and wore prairie dresses because that's how Dimbulb likes it, I thought "hang on, isn't it really hot and humid in the American South? Dimbulb thinks nothing about his wife or daughter's comfort?" So if that no good patriarch doesn't care about his daughters having to live in a hot and humid climate with sweaty long hair and long clothes, he probably wouldn't care about their discomfort during menstruation.

As for the boys, I wonder how the Duggars would deal with that. You ejaculate one way or another, either the boys masturbate, or else they get wet dreams. Since these fundies are always about purity, I'll bet the Duggar boys might not be allowed to masturbate. With those things on the wall that look like housing for security cameras, I wonder if that might be to keep the boys from exploring themselves? But maybe like someone said earlier, if the boys ejaculate and the girls have to do the laundry, it is probably framed as "men can't control their urges so women have to not tempt them. " That makes me worry that when the brothers do have wet dreams if their sisters take the blame for somehow tempting them?

As for me, my mum was a nurse and my dad is just as verbose as I am today, so I was taught about menstruation, ejaculation, and other matters relating to puberty and human reproduction beginning at age six. I didn't understand everything back then (my parents tried to explain FSH and LH several times), but my parents believed "if he's old enough to ask about it, he's old enough for be taught about it." but I'm glad my parents started back then, because it was a lot less awkward than it might have been, at least for me. Don't know though, maybe my parents were embarrassed but didn't show it?

[PBrooke]

Yeah, when I said PMS, I meant debilitating cramps, but also foggy brain, headaches, "crazy" PMS where I was literally irrational... and that all started an entire week before my period. And then my period lasted a week. Half of every month was spent dealing with some side effect of my uterus. After I was put on BC? Night and day. I became sane and only had a 3-4 day, light period. I'm been on some form of low-dose BC more or less constantly for the last 10 years (about 5 or 6 years back, I had to miss a month and the cramps, etc were back with a vengeance). But I'm older now; I'm kind of curious to see what will happen when I finally go off BC when I TTC.

[Lillybee]

I do hope that the Duggar girls are not forced to chart their menses on the family calendar like RazingRuth was forced to do.

[muffynbear]

I got mine at 10 and definitely wished it had come later. I was a super early bloomer and I've always been tall, so I had to deal with being asked out by 18 year olds when I was 12-14 because they thought I was 16-18. It was so embarrassing.

The part I hated the most was that I asked all my closest friends if they'd gotten theirs, and they hadn't. At least the Duggar girls have a lot of female siblings to talk to.

This. Yes, I felt like a freak show because I had my period so young. It made me feel isolated from my peers.I didn't even know what a period was at the age of 9. I just knew that I woke up with horrific stomach cramps. !