Sonia Sotomayor says "don't be a princess be a judge"

[klf7412]

I think people were questioning your choice of words, not her beliefs. The way you phrased the bolded part made it seem like "raising your kids" and "having a job" are mutally exclusive. Or, if that is just her opinion, does this woman think her husband, who obviously works, is not raising the children?

Well, to be completely honest the woman I am speaking about would never consider it her husbands job to raise the children full time. I don't agree with that at all, but I am pretty sure she is more of a believer in husbands providing and things of that nature.. She isn't against women working outside the home,though. But I am pretty sure, if I asked her, she would say he is doing his job as a Father by working and providing. I don't really agree with this point of view, but that is why it isn't my point of view.. lol

[valsa]

Well, to be completely honest the woman I am speaking about would never consider it her husbands job to raise the children full time. I don't agree with that at all, but I am pretty sure she is more of a believer in husbands providing and things of that nature.. She isn't against women working outside the home,though. But I am pretty sure, if I asked her, she would say he is doing his job as a Father by working and providing. I don't really agree with this point of view, but that is why it isn't my point of view.. lol

You don't have to be the primary caretaker to be raising your children.

Does her husband go to work before the kids get up and come back home after they go to bed? Is he gone during the weekends?

Or does he play with the kids? Help with homework and baths and meals and bedtime and discipline? Because if he does- he's raising the kids too and didn't need to quit his job to do so.

[klf7412]

You don't have to be the primary caretaker to be raising your children.

Does her husband go to work before the kids get up and come back home after they go to bed? Is he gone during the weekends?

Or does he play with the kids? Help with homework and baths and meals and bedtime and discipline? Because if he does- he's raising the kids too and didn't need to quit his job to do so.

I never said he wasn't raising them. I said that I believe she doesn't really think that a husband needs to be the primary caretaker. I am not sure of all the details of his work schedule, but I know he spends time with his children. I doubt he helps with homework -- they attend a private school that is a co-op. So they go to school a couple times a week and homeschool the rest of the days.

I am not sure where you got the impression that I said her husband shouldn't be helping to raise the children. :?

[valsa]

I never said he wasn't raising them. I said that I believe she doesn't really think that a husband needs to be the primary caretaker. I am not sure of all the details of his work schedule, but I know he spends time with his children. I doubt he helps with homework -- they attend a private school that is a co-op. So they go to school a couple times a week and homeschool the rest of the days.

I am not sure where you got the impression that I said her husband shouldn't be helping to raise the children. :?

Okay, I think one of us is reading things that no one here is saying. Let's recap the whole thread, shall we?

You: Another who stays at home now after having children because she believes raising them is more important than the job she had outside of the home.

The implication here is that one can either raise one's children or one an have a job, but not both. It also implies that people who don't quit their job outside the home don't think raising their children is important (or not the most important thing they do)

Katiebug: I hope you make sure to tell every father you know who works outside the home that he's not raising his kids, or that raising them isn't as important as his job.

This is a reaction to the above statement from you, pointing out that men who work outside the home are still understood to be raising their children even though they work. Also, that no one questions whether men still think their children are most important, even if they don't stay home (as opposed to the guilt piled on moms for the same decision)

You: I didn't say it was more important to be home.. She did. Just clarifying. I think you can be a fantastic Mother at home or outside of the home.

This doesn't address the issue Katiebug brought up. No one accused you of saying that being at home is more important than working.

Me: The way you phrased the bolded part made it seem like "raising your kids" and "having a job" are mutally exclusive. Or, if that is just her opinion, does this woman think her husband, who obviously works, is not raising the children?

This reiterates some of what I believe Katiebug's problem with your statement was, as well as my own.

You: Well, to be completely honest the woman I am speaking about would never consider it her husbands job to raise the children full time.

Again, your reply has nothing to do with what you were asked. No one ever mentioned the man being the primary caretaker, just asking whether or not this woman believes her husband is also raising their children.

Me: You don't have to be the primary caretaker to be raising your children....Because if he does- he's raising the kids too and didn't need to quit his job to do so.

Reiterates again the double standard that this woman's husband is considered to be raising the children even though he didn't have to quit his job to do so and he isn't considered to think his job is more important that his children.

You: I said that I believe she doesn't really think that a husband needs to be the primary caretaker....I am not sure where you got the impression that I said her husband shouldn't be helping to raise the children.

I'm honestly not even sure what this is. It's like I'm asking you what color the sky is and you're answering "Tacos lampshade".

[klf7412]

Okay, I think one of us is reading things that no one here is saying. Let's recap the whole thread, shall we?

The implication here is that one can either raise one's children or one an have a job, but not both. It also implies that people who don't quit their job outside the home don't think raising their children is important (or not the most important thing they do)

This is a reaction to the above statement from you, pointing out that men who work outside the home are still understood to be raising their children even though they work. Also, that no one questions whether men still think their children are most important, even if they don't stay home (as opposed to the guilt piled on moms for the same decision)

This doesn't address the issue Katiebug brought up. No one accused you of saying that being at home is more important than working.

This reiterates some of what I believe Katiebug's problem with your statement was, as well as my own.

Again, your reply has nothing to do with what you were asked. No one ever mentioned the man being the primary caretaker, just asking whether or not this woman believes her husband is also raising their children.

Reiterates again the double standard that this woman's husband is considered to be raising the children even though he didn't have to quit his job to do so and he isn't considered to think his job is more important that his children.

I'm honestly not even sure what this is. It's like I'm asking you what color the sky is and you're answering "Tacos lampshade".

Okay since you did that.. I see some things that I missed at first. YOu wrote at the top (paraphrasing)"The implication here is that one must either work outside of the home or raise her kids". I didn't mean for it to come across that way. I should have written "She believed dedicating all of her time to raising her children was more important than her job outside of the home".

The issue katiebug brought up.. I completely understand what she said. There is a double standard that men can work outside of the home, but if women do they are guilted. However, what was I supposed to reply with? A question wasn't really asked.. She made a statement. Do I agree with this double standard? No. Does the lady I was speaking about? Probably.

The woman I am speaking about does believe her husband is raising children. She wouldn't be married to him if he made her do all of the work.

And I am not sure how my last statement doesn't make sense to you. It is pretty clear: She doesn't believe that a husband needs to be a primary caretaker (as in, stay-at-home-dad) .

[valsa]

Okay since you did that.. I see some things that I missed at first. YOu wrote at the top (paraphrasing)"The implication here is that one must either work outside of the home or raise her kids". I didn't mean for it to come across that way. I should have written "She believed dedicating all of her time to raising her children was more important than her job outside of the home".

The issue katiebug brought up.. I completely understand what she said. There is a double standard that men can work outside of the home, but if women do they are guilted. However, what was I supposed to reply with? A question wasn't really asked.. She made a statement. Do I agree with this double standard? No. Does the lady I was speaking about? Probably.

Replying to her statement with your above revision "She believed dedicating all of her time to raising her children was more important than her job outside of the home" would have been a good start.

And I am not sure how my last statement doesn't make sense to you. It is pretty clear: She doesn't believe that a husband needs to be a primary caretaker (as in, stay-at-home-dad) .

It doesn't make sense because it's not replying to anything that anybody said to you. Who mentioned anything about a husband needing to be a primary caretaker?

[klf7412]

Replying to her statement with your above revision "She believed dedicating all of her time to raising her children was more important than her job outside of the home" would have been a good start.

It doesn't make sense because it's not replying to anything that anybody said to you. Who mentioned anything about a husband needing to be a primary caretaker?

I was simply writing what I think she (the woman I was talking about) believed. I think someone asked whether or not she thought her husband took care of the kids or not... If you have any more questions, ask away. 8-)

[valsa]

I was simply writing what I think she (the woman I was talking about) believed. I think someone asked whether or not she thought her husband took care of the kids or not... If you have any more questions, ask away. 8-)

We really need a "facepalm" smilie. Here's close enough :doh:

[acheronbeach]

My youngest daughter wanted to be a princess but her version of royalty was to kick butt and rescue the prince. When I was young I imagined that I was a thief, sneaking around in shadows and jumping out at the unwary. The idea of being a delicate princess didn't appeal to me and I didn't realize, like my daughter, that I could remake the entire princess image in my mind

I think that's the general trend with Disney Princess type movies lately. Ariel saved Eric from drowning, Belle was clearly the intellectual superior to both of her beaux, Gisele had a swordfight with her evil stepmother, and I don't really have to say much about Merida or Rapunzel.