Shaking with anger - Kelly Crawford is awful

[Arete]

Wouldn't the testing have been assessments with psychs and development peads? A few visits and a report or two would easily cost $500, probably a lot more. I assume once she had an official diagnosis it would be easier to apply for government-subsidised therapy. Or not, buggered if I can tell what's going on with your healthcare system.

At any rate, Aria does have a kid to fuck up and you can pretty much guarantee that poor girl's not getting out of childhood without a fair amount of physical and emotional scarring. That's the saddest part of the whole story, or the funniest, depending on your level of internet induced sociopathy.

No. The state would have done the assessments with peds, occupational/physical therapists, and psychs. They make a joint diagnosis and you then go into the Early Intervention System. She was scamming for money, pure and simple, and wrapped it up in a weepy story.

Wasn't LisaM/Elle/Aria a nurse in this incarnation who couldn't work because of her autistic daughter? Or was it because she had kids period?

[MrsKay]

I felt like a total dick for a little while, after I discovered who it was. Normally, I'd never jump at the chance to donate money to a total stranger, but I think it just triggered flashbacks to how helpless I felt when BoyKay was going through the initial diagnosis, assessment, waiting for treatment, etc. My logic kinda took a flying leap at that point. That is a new level of vile, playing on peoples' sympathy for a heartbreaking issue that affects so many of us. :evil:

[JesusFightClub]

Ah, no shame in getting caught out by a professional. It's when you get caught out by an amateur you worry :D

[lilith]

I felt like a total dick for a little while, after I discovered who it was. Normally, I'd never jump at the chance to donate money to a total stranger, but I think it just triggered flashbacks to how helpless I felt when BoyKay was going through the initial diagnosis, assessment, waiting for treatment, etc. My logic kinda took a flying leap at that point. That is a new level of vile, playing on peoples' sympathy for a heartbreaking issue that affects so many of us. :evil:

Me too. My son is in the middle of ADHD assessment and diagnosis, and it's a really hard time for the whole family. I can't imagine dealing with it at the same time as all the crap Elle was claiming (which in retrospect does seem excessive), so I was in just the right headspace for that story to tug my heart strings.

[Effie]

†In a county like Sweden my family would have support, but instead I spend a lot of nights crying because I don't know what we're going to do a lot of day, and now I don't know what to do about Christmas…â€

I felt a lot of guilt when reading this. I felt privileged and ashamed for having all that support here, while she did not... :( When she mentioned that she had kids that suffered with her, I felt mad that there seemed to be no security or protection for her children in that situation. She sounded like such a good parent, who really did everything she possibly could for her children. Her story reminded me of my own mum… It was easy to get caught up in her story. There were a lot of elements, in her story, which could make you feel upset, sad, mad...

[snarkykitty]

Two things that a lot of scammers seem to do, that you can look for in these stories:

1. Their story gets worse and worse as time goes on, especially after a few comments. Granted, there are plenty of people who do need help whose situations do get worse over time, but I find that people truly in need and with competing major problems tend sum up the issues early on, because they are already in the situation of having to prioritize treating many evils at once.

2. The details are always sketchy and/or don't make sense. Medical tests (which require repeat doctor appointments) rarely cost a nice, round dollar amount, nor do major home or auto repairs. If you're not sure about something (like so many stories that a certain mommy blogger has told), tell the story to someone who might be familiar with the situation. For example, ask someone who has an autistic child about a specific "$500 test", or ask a mechanic friend if a broken whatchamacallit typically costs $2000 to fix on a 99 Honda Civic. Or just share the story with others and see if it pings their scam radar.

It sucks that people do this and prey on the emotions and pockets of others. It ruins it for people who truly need immediate help getting out of a hole.

Last year, an internet friend of mine (also with Cystic Fibrosis) died after a harrowing eight months in the hospital, and her lovely and devoted family was completely depleted financially and could not afford a funeral and burial (sure, they could have just cremated her and not had a service, but I think that people deserve to make decisions about final arrangements based not just on money). The family only told a few people about their financial situation, without any thoughts of asking for anything. I asked her mother's permission to set up a fundraiser. She gave me the info of the funeral home and cemetery if I wanted to confirm the costs and details (which I didn't feel the need to, knowing them as I did). I set up the fundraiser with one of those online fundraising sites (they charged 7% which was fair) and was able to raise about 3/4 of the cost of her funeral and burial in about a week (and it wasn't a crazy amount or an extravagant service).

I was amazed at the generosity of people, especially a few who didn't know her, but who knew me and wanted to help. I didn't ask anyone directly to donate, I simply shared the information on my own Facebook page each morning for a few days, and passed the link along to people who also knew this very brave young woman and and who asked for the information. I cannot explain how thankful her family was - they are truly beautiful people who have already "paid it forward" in their own ways, to others who need help. (Remember not all help has to be $$).

It's hard, but we have to be so careful. The best thing to do in these situations (like with a certain former member who always cried wolf but refused to do anything to get real help) when you do not know the person/people and have no way of verifying any of the information, is to suggest local resources and services. Or, if you do want to give the benefit of the doubt, do so with money you don't mind "losing".

That's why I will never be one of those people who posts on Facebook "if you really cared about Cancer/rape victims/poverty/sick babies/etc., you'd repost this message". Slapping up a copy/paste job is not advocacy. Sorry, I got off track...

Anyway, I hope that my suggestion helps.

[desertvixen]

Well, damn. I go away for a weekend in the sun, and I miss all the fun.

Anyway, there wasn't a crazy birthing in the hospital is evil story from her, or we likely would have thought Elle quite a bit sooner...

[fakepigtails73]

Food stamps are for food only.

An important thing to know about the US is that very few people want the poor to be comfortable. I bold this because it is a huge cultural thing that we rarely discuss, but it is pervasive on both sides of the aisle. People who can afford a minimum amount of food are denied food stamps, and the amount of food stamps given to the extremely poor who qualify is enough to keep food on the table and little more. Liberal people support giving poor people healthcare, homes and food, but very few support giving them enough money to budget and procure these things for themselves. If you are uncomfortable, you will do whatever you can to get out of the situation; the US system is designed so that poor people are uncomfortable. People who have no options for getting out of poverty are generally blamed for the bad decisions that led to the situation, so that few people want to make them comfortable.

The result is that a poor person is usually dealing with 15 different agencies. I have to fill out one application every 3-6 months to get food stamps and have follow-up appointments; my children receive Medicaid and that is another set of appointments and paperwork every six months. I am on the waiting list to get energy assistance and have been for a year; I have to renew my application every six months or I lose my place in line. I live in subsidized housing which is around $900 a month for a small apartment and this requires that we be re-approved and have a home inspection every six months (more appointments). I am on the waiting list to get rental assistance from HUD and this requires renewing an application at regular intervals as well. I get WIC and that means a monthly appointment.

There are private charities that give out free (used) clothing and such, and others that give presents to children at Christmas. Others that give the food to prepare a special dinner on Thanksgiving. Most of these receive government money, so it is more taxpayer expenditure. You can meet most of your needs with a combination of charity and government assistance once you are in the system long enough to know where to go and who to ask, and long enough to get through waiting lists that can be even a decade long. However, this would require knowing where they are and what they give, in addition to more paperwork. And then you are a "welfare queen" and everyone hates you because you are not adequately uncomfortable for a poor person. There is no central place that tells you what is available and how to get it. You have to actively seek them, which takes time that a working and/or going-to-school person does not have.

Not only does this require a huge amount of time that could be spent getting out of poverty, but a huge amount of government employees and infrastructure. Certainly much more than it would be to give an adequate amount of cash aid and let the person budget. But very few people trust the poor to budget, and there may be good reasons for that. Most Americans will happily pay twice as much money to let poor people schlep all over town on the bus asking here and there for help, slowly and steadily piecing together a minimal lifestyle. Or just doing without.

This system will not change because the idea that I be able to go in and deal with one agency is preposterous to a lot of Americans. The idea that someone just give me money and allow me to pay bills and make priorities; that is just crazy talk. If you complain about it, you are viewed as ungrateful.

That way of thinking is so heartless (I mean what you bolded, and how KC thinks we should deal with the poor). Have they ever thought that maybe people are on welfare, foodstamps etc because there are no jobs in their area or in their fields?? I see so much venom in the way Kelly writes. A lot of people that voted Republican don't get that voodoo economics ala Paul Ryan doesn't work and that the "tax cuts" bandied by R&R during the last campaign was only for the richest 10%. :doh:

The rest that are suffering? Well, you're SOOL. But so what, he's got much dineros in the Cayman Island and the likes, he'll never have to be judged at the cash register because he's buying a roast with food stamps.

I'd like to call her a bitch, but I like dogs too much.

[crazyforkate]

It might make Kelly feel better to know that Canada's road to perdition, I mean socialism - caring for those in distress, the sick, the widowed, the orphans, the unemployed - was kick started by a Baptist preacher turned politician, Tommy Douglas.

Interesting to see that...my great-grandfather, Fred Tipping, was another early Canadian socialist and a contemporary of Tommy Douglas - one of the early founders of the CCF, big cheese in the Winnipeg General Strike, etc. And he started out as a Baptist preacher too. He literally walked out during a sermon one day and started a different life. What is it about being a Baptist preacher that turns people socialist, I wonder?

[NurseNell]

Interesting to see that...my great-grandfather, Fred Tipping, was another early Canadian socialist and a contemporary of Tommy Douglas - one of the early founders of the CCF, big cheese in the Winnipeg General Strike, etc. And he started out as a Baptist preacher too. He literally walked out during a sermon one day and started a different life. What is it about being a Baptist preacher that turns people socialist, I wonder?

I don't know but I have known of a few active Baptists who became socialists. They weren't preachers but were regular church goers.

[Effie]

Haha I just noticed that a Crawford is the director of [link=http://www.freedomtomarry.org/]Freedom to Marry[/link]. I love it! I don't know if it's a relative to Kelly or not, but one thing is sure: there's another Crawford out there who is fighting against bullies like Kelly Crawford. This other Crawford is more widely known than she is. :banana-rainbow: Michael Crawford.

[Bonnie]

Perhaps she should focus on a carrier as an author, because her story was so touching it made me instantly feel for her. She could probably write good stories...

Ah so YOU were the one who gave her the idea for her latest scheme? :D

[Effie]

Ah so YOU were the one who gave her the idea for her latest scheme? :D

Haha what? What is she up to these days?

[Bonnie]

Haha what? What is she up to these days?

Google "Alys B. Cohen". Incidentally, if you rearrange the letters in her first name, you (almost) get a 'Lisa'. I laughed for hours when I realized that the initials of her new invented name are ABC. :roll: