Steve Maxwell Emailed Me....

[anniebgood]

 

Quote

Okay, your post made me smile to a point. Neither of us drink Pepsi.

 

No one wants to see Sarah happily married more than her Mom and I.

 

Steve Maxwell

 

I commented that he should share a Pepsi with Teri and for God's sake find a husband for Sarah.....

[luckystone]

That's sad

[Guest Anonymous]

That's funny, to a point. I wonder what really goes on in that man's head. :think:

I rather suspect there is nothing he's really like more than to get Free Jinger off his back so he can live his cultish life without scrutiny.

[ceg045]

It's kind of weird. For a second, it's like he (almost) has a sense of humor. Even stranger, he's speaking to you (almost) like he's a regular human being.

[sparkles]

Okay, your post made me smile to a point. Neither of us drink Pepsi. Teri would like to but I won't let her.

There. That's more like.

[luckylibrarian]

Steve smiles? And possibly has a sense of humor? Wow...[checking to see if pigs are flying outside my window]

[kpmom]

Steve smiles?

Yes, but only "to a point". Geez Steve, pull that stick out of your ass already.

[Mela99]

So what's with the Pepsi commentary? That's one thing I ever quite followed.

[MrsYoungie]

So what's with the Pepsi commentary? That's one thing I ever quite followed.

My understanding is that this family is so determined to eliminate any "idols" (read: pleasure) from their lives that Terry had to give up her occasional Pepsi in order to please God (read: Steve)

[Little_Eyes]

Pretty much, the pepsi became an idol in Terri's life and Steve took it away. Back when they weren't as Fundie, there's a point in the corner that she talks about it. I'll see if I can find it. Steve took it away. That family has huge food issues, it's a control thing for Steve, I think. Those burritos aren't enough food. Animal crackers are treats for them, which is sad. Not that animal cookies aren't fabulous, but it's a sad commentary on their limited diet.

I used this for my icon. Also, the email is almost like a "LEAVE ME BE, FJ" email. Not gonna happen, Steve-o.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Sorry if I am out of the loop, but what did he email you in response to?

[lilwriter85]

Wasn't Terri drinking a lot of Pepsi during a period of depression? When I was in college, I took a nutrition class and I remember the nutritionist who taught the class said that some people who go through depression will sometimes use caffeinated beverages as temporary anti-depressants.

[thoughtful]

Pretty much, the pepsi became an idol in Terri's life and Steve took it away. Back when they weren't as Fundie, there's a point in the corner that she talks about it. I'll see if I can find it.

Here 'tis:

mail.homeschoolecards.com/corners/7-08-m.htm

[jeansonly]

While I think the comments about it being sinful for her and a spiritual battle etc are rather crazy, I can see how she may have needed to give it up. I've had this issue with diet coke and I have to say I feel so much better when I do not drink it or at least cut way back. But for me it's all due to my health and not at all due to my religion (because I have none lol).

[Esther]

That seriously almost makes Steve sound human. And like he might occasionally smile. And like he might actually care for his kids.

...

But then reality kicks in and it's probably just a ploy to get FJ to leave him alone, or something.

[anniebgood]

Sorry if I am out of the loop, but what did he email you in response to?

I commented on his birthday post. He's the same age and birthday as the first real love of my life who left me with pieces of a broken heart when I was 16. I didn't think he'd post it nor that he would reply.

I said go share a Pepsi with Terri and for God's sake find a man for Sarah.

Hi STEVE!!!! The guy who broke my heart and I are still friends BTW.

And I'm not stopping commenting. HE needs to remember that he's just human and fallible like the rest of us. God speaks to me too, but he doesn't tell me to control my family down to the amount of time they spend doing things. I raised my kids not to be automatons like the ones at Disneyland, but to be vibrant living people, especially my daughter.

[MaroonMandy]

While I think the comments about it being sinful for her and a spiritual battle etc are rather crazy, I can see how she may have needed to give it up. I've had this issue with diet coke and I have to say I feel so much better when I do not drink it or at least cut way back. But for me it's all due to my health and not at all due to my religion (because I have none lol).

But the difference is you decided to give it up, not your holier-than-thou control-freak hubby. Terri isn't allowed to make any decisions like that.

[kpmom]

Wasn't Terri drinking a lot of Pepsi during a period of depression? When I was in college, I took a nutrition class and I remember the nutritionist who taught the class said that some people who go through depression will sometimes use caffeinated beverages as temporary anti-depressants.

Yes, and she was also combining it with ibuprofen for her back pain, according to one of the Corners via the wayback machine.

[WonderingInWA]

By God, he almost sounds human. OR, as several of you have said, he's just trying to get FJ off his back. He definitely reads here.

[ChunkyBarbie]

But the difference is you decided to give it up, not your holier-than-thou control-freak hubby. Terri isn't allowed to make any decisions like that.

Nor is she allowed to question any decisions made by Steve/God.

[Want More Babies]

Mom's Corner - July 2008

Nothing Between

For many years, I was in bondage. It was a subtle bondage, and most people wouldn't have thought there was anything wrong with what I was doing. However, what comes between my Lord Jesus and myself is bondage.

It began innocently enough many, many years ago by simply enjoying a Pepsi with my meal if we went out to eat. After a period of time, probably when we had a little more financial stability, I decided a Pepsi would be a treat when I cleaned house. So I started buying 24 packs of Pepsi at the grocery store enabling me to have a cleaning-day supply at home.

I remember one day when I was pregnant talking to Steve on the phone while he was at work. It was the middle of the afternoon, and I was tired. I told him a Pepsi would be a nice pick-me-up for some extra energy. He said, "Sure. Go ahead." That one little statement from Steve was all I needed to push my way into having a Pepsi every afternoon—for that caffeine boost.

More time passed, and there was a day when I was weary in the morning. My solution was a Pepsi right then, and before long it was not only an afternoon habit but a morning one as well. If there was a special occasion, Steve might buy me a 2-liter so I could sip on Pepsi throughout the day. When we were out and around, I would get a soda from a convenience store if we stopped for gas or just because it sounded good.

In my mind I justified my Pepsis. I worked hard taking care of a large family and homeschooling. I needed energy boosts, and I felt I deserved a treat. Sometimes the Pepsi was an escape from the pressure and problems of the day rather than turning to the Lord for His comfort.

Are you familiar with the words to the beautiful hymn, "Nothing Between"? It says:

Nothing between my soul and the Savior,

Naught of this world's delusive dream;

I have renounced all sinful pleasure—

Jesus is mine! There's nothing between.

Chorus

Nothing between my soul and the Savior,

So that His blessed face may be seen;

Nothing preventing the least of His favor;

Keep the way clear! Let nothing between.

Nothing between, like worldly pleasure;

Habits of life, tho harmless they seem,

Must not my heart from Him ever sever—

He is my all! There's nothing between.

There was something between for me. While it appeared to be a harmless habit of life, it had become a sinful, worldly pleasure for me because it had become so important. During the day, I thought about when I would get another Pepsi. I hoped when we were out that we would stop at the convenience store so I could buy a big drink from the soda fountain. If I didn't have a Pepsi, I'd get a headache so I was always trying to prevent that from happening.

While I greatly enjoyed drinking my Pepsi, I was truly in bondage. I fought spiritual battles over my Pepsi—defending it one moment and feeling condemned the next. I would drink a Pepsi telling the Lord that it would be my last one, but the next day I'd find myself rationalizing it again.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:27: "But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway." Paul understood what was important spiritually, and he took steps to keep his body in subjection. I knew that my body wasn't in subjection. It was ruling me instead of me ruling it.

I knew the amount of soda I was consuming wasn't good for my health or my teeth. It was an unnecessary expense, and if I didn't have a Pepsi, I was guaranteed a caffeine headache. I planned to stop drinking Pepsi many times but would end up deciding I'd wait for another day.

Twice I succeed in getting off the caffeine for several weeks or a couple of months only to end up back on it. I thought I could start drinking the Pepsi again, and keep it in moderation. Although I would begin with small amounts, before long I was back to where I had been before.

I remember a friend telling me about how she had stopped smoking. She was trying to stop but was out gardening when a very strong urge to smoke hit her. She cried out to the Lord and said, "If You want me to stop smoking, Lord, You will have to take this craving from me." And He did.

I thought to myself. "Lord, if You will do it for her, You can do it for me." That's how I started praying. However, in my life the Lord hasn't zapped me from my sinful directions into a righteous path, although I keep hoping it will work like that. It would be so much easier.

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). This verse showed me that the Lord doesn't stop making the temptation a temptation. Rather He provides the way of escape. Then I have to decide if I will take the way of escape or give in to the temptation.

"Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God" (Romans 6:13). Here I saw again that I had to make a choice. What would I yield to—righteous or unrighteousness?

In my spiritual battle with my sin, I knew the Lord was telling me the Pepsi had become an idol in my life. That was evidenced by my wanting to stop drinking it but not being able to and by the focus it had taken for me. Finally, the Lord's conviction of my sin was so strong that I said in my heart, "It isn't worth it. I don't want anything between my soul and the Savior."

I made the decision to stop yielding to unrighteous, and God's grace was sufficient. "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

On December 31, 2006, I drank my last Pepsi. It was a miserable two days as I suffered through the caffeine withdrawal, but I kept crying out to Him for His grace and strength. The joy I have experienced this past year and a half since being freed me from my bondage is completely worth the discomfort of the withdrawal.

The sodas had become a habit for me. I would drink a soda—when I was happy, when I was sad, in the morning, in the afternoon, on special occasions, when we were running errands—there was almost always a reason to have a soda, and it was all part of the habit of my life. After getting off the Pepsi, when I hit those habitual times, I longed for a soda at first, but every time I put my thoughts on how much I desired the Lord Jesus and how much I didn't want to be back in bondage. I asked for His help as the days went by. I knew from my previous attempts at freedom that I could justify starting again and soon be back into the old habits.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4:13). Experientially, in the release from Pepsi drinking, I found this to be true, but only as I yielded to righteousness and chose to take the way of escape from the temptation. It didn't happen automatically. The desire wasn't removed from me. I had to fight a spiritual battle with the help of the Lord Jesus Christ. The way of escape was to care more about the Lord Jesus than about my sinful pleasure.

I want to make it clear as I bring this Mom's Corner to a close that I am not saying drinking a Pepsi is sin. Instead, I am telling you how something that isn't inherently sinful in itself became sin for me because of the focus it had taken in my heart. "Whatsoever is not of faith is sin" (Romans 14:23). "Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin" (James 4:17). I knew the Lord was convicting me that I shouldn't continue the Pepsi habit in my life. I was aware that it wasn't pleasing to Him. Yet, for a long time, I allowed my flesh to rule my heart.

I share this story because I know many of those who read the Mom's Corner are in bondage to something. It might be what others would call sin, but it might be like my Pepsi drinking that no one else would consider wrong. From the moms who share their spiritual struggles with me, I know that this list could include soda, coffee, smoking, other treats, an addiction to the computer or TV, and many others. Each of us knows our own hearts. We are aware of what it is that comes between us and our Savior. Don't think that because you have tried for freedom before that you just give in to it, live with it, justify it, and say it's the way you are. I had tried before as well. It took becoming more and more miserable in my sin for me to get to the place where I would choose the way of escape.

My heart's desire is to encourage each of us to be free. "If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed" (John 8:36). "For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another" (Galatians 5:13). Hardly a day goes by that I don't rejoice in my freedom and liberty from the flesh. I never want to return to that bondage; the joy of nothing between is too sweet. Would you be free as well?

Teri Maxwell

[anniebgood]

My reply to Steve:

But Terri did drink Pepsi and in her mind it became an idol. How does a can of soda effect being an idol? It doesn't. It made her happy therefore it was an idol. I like Coca Cola, but it's not an idol to me. I love to travel by plane, it's not an idol to me. I love to go to classical concerts at Disney Hall, but that's not an idol to me. It's something that makes me happy. Happiness does not equate idol worship. That's a skewed view of life.

I hope that Sarah will fall in love with a man who cherishes her and treats her like a queen. She deserves that. She also deserves some freedom. Being 30 and tied to a scheduled life is not going to let her grow up. She needs to have conversations with people who are not related to her to grasp the syntax of writing and speaking. It would make her writing so much better if she had that to draw on. Back in the back of her mind she remembers going to church, going to the library, and having fun outside the family.

You and Terri both went to college and interacted with people. Your life wasn't tainted because of that.

As much as I love my family, there is no way that I would want to spend 24/7 with them. We are individuals with different interests. My daughter works as a teacher and is flying off to Chicago in 2 weeks to spend time with her best friend and her family. She's paid for her 2nd cruise and will go to the Caribbean on a study cruise for more college credits.

My son has been laid off for 2 years and is going back to work next week. He is so excited to be able to go to work for the County and meet people and have new experiences. We were there to support him when he needed it, but the wings need to expand and fly away.

My mom is active at 87. She has some health problems but none are life threatening; Thank God. She threw me out of the nest after I graduated from college and said fly. I hated moving out, but it was a blessing in disguise. I learned how to budget, cooked new things that I wanted to eat, and enjoyed my freedom. I worked in a job I liked and met many interesting people.

Whatever happened to you to change you into a controlling man who begrudges the tiniest amount of happiness and freedom to your family? Forgive yourself for the sins you imagine to be unforgivable. God will applaud you for your awakening.

I doubt he will engage me in an email conversation, but I wanted him to know that he is just a man.

[sableduck]

I'm not a Maxwell fan, but the way Teri describes it really does sound like a true addiction. Thinking about Pepsi all the time and drinking a two liter a day? Granted, I really like my diet coke and have been known to run to the corner gas station to get some when I really wanted it, but it sounds almost like it was far more than a simple "like" to Teri.

I could be way off base, but I almost wonder if there is a level of an addictive personality going on here.

[MamaJunebug]

Someone's probably already said this, but IMO it bears repeating:

Steve is the family idol, the oracle through which God speaks.

It still amazes - and distresses - me that the older children haven't figured it out, yet.

They live in a reasonably cosmopolitan smaller town,, go to grocery stores, home improvement stores, and interact with some photography clients who have their weddings in churches with ordained pastors (not dad-pastors who have declared themselves the theological patriach).

It's not as if they are held captive in a backyrd or a basement, or secluded in the mountains without any other contact.

Yet STeve has done a masterful job of turning their focus onto the "idols" of

Sports

Soft drinks

Churches with ordained pastors

News reports

that they do not see that he has set himself up as the idol of all idols: the cult leader.

And yet, when I look at some of the photos, Abby's genuine smiles seem to happen while she is sitting near her grandfather, Steve. Well *shrug* guess that isn't too unexpected. IIRC the children of mass murdering despots have said that their daddies were so, so good to them, personally.

Sad.Ness.

[Witsec7]

I really wonder how the family gets their news, I recognize it is all filtered by Steve and he delivers his version to them. It's just strange to me, adults and kids not reading news and discussing issues over the dinner table. We had a local initiative in our schools to have each child receive a copy of the local paper every day. The newspaper gave a discount and I would always sponsor a years worth of newspapers for my daughters class when she was in school. We also had two other newspapers delivered to our home. Dinner at our house was lively discussions of a variety of topics. Those conversations lingered into the evening since the child did not get TV on school nights.

The entire Maxwell family live lives bereft of news, culture, music, art and science. I don't think any of them could make it in the real world.