Some Handy Respectful Phrases to Use with Your Man

[AtroposHeart]

Here are some respectful phrase ideas to use with your guy. Use them sparingly but only say them when you can truly mean these words from your heart:

- Whatever you think is best.

- I trust you.

- I appreciate your wisdom.

- Thanks for being the leader in our relationship. I appreciate you carrying that heavy responsibility so well. (ONLY use this IF you are in a very committed relationship ! Or you’ll sound creepy!)

- You’ll make the right decision!

- I believe in you!

- I am so proud of you!

- You’ve got this!

- You did a great job!

- You’ll do a great job!

- I LOVE being your girl!

- I’m so happy here with you.

- I can’t wait to see you!

- You have amazing ideas.

- Thank you!

- Thanks for taking such good care of me.

- I admire your patience/the way you forgive so easily/your work ethic/your people skills/your wisdom/your humility/your perspective on life.

You have amazing ideas.

- Thank you! You are SO generous/thoughtful/wonderful.

- Thanks for taking such good care of me.

- I admire your patience/the way you forgive so easily/your work ethic/your people skills/your wisdom/your humility/your perspective on life.

- I want to get your advice/opinion/perspective on something important.

- What do you think we should do?

- What would you like me to focus on?

- What would you like me to stop doing?

- How do you suggest we handle this situation?

- What a fantastic idea!

- You are so smart!

- It’s great having a big, strong man like you around!

Remember, ladies – use friendly facial expressions and a pleasant tone of voice! Scowling and sounding like an angry mother are NOT respectful and will repel a man QUICKLY.

Guys, are there any other phrases that really speak respect deeply to your masculine soul that you would like us to add to our repertoire? You are welcome to comment!

Also

•More words are not better with men the way they are with women. Only use maybe one or two of these phrases per day, maybe even just one every other day at times. Too much will seem insincere or like flattery and not seem real.

•Respectful SILENCE can be more powerful than words. It has to be respectful silence, not pouty silence, not the cold shoulder. If your man shuts down – he either needs an apology for your apparent disrespect or he needs some time to cool down. If he leaves the room or tries to end the conversation – please DO NOT keep talking and trying to force him to work through the conversation to a “resolution.†That is not how he works. That is what you want. It’s a great goal, but if he leaves, he is saying, “I feel so angry and disrespected that I need to leave to protect you from my anger.†Following him around the house or out to the garage or constantly texting him trying to MAKE him talk is EXTREMELY disrespectful. Men do not do that to each other. If he has had enough, you may apologize, or give him some time to process. It takes men at least 8 more hours than women to process a lot of emotion. Giving him time and quiet may actually draw him to you in time.

•Explanations often come across as disrespect. If you tell your husband what you think/want/feel/desire and he says no, be VERY careful about the temptation to try to explain yourself. You think if you add more words to the situation, he’ll understand your position and change his mind. After one time of expressing yourself, he probably already understands your position and if you continue to try to change his mind when he has already answered – it is very disrespectful and will seal your fate that he will not do what you have asked just because of your disrespectful approach.

http://peacefulsinglegirl.wordpressDOTc ... -your-man/

[Inanna]

Ok, look, I'm not a dude... but if I were and my girlfriend/wife/whatever said "It’s great having a big, strong man like you around!" in a serious tone of voice I would probably just go on and take her to the ER to check for a concussion. Or brain-eating alien larvae.

Ditto with "Thanks for being the leader in our relationship. I appreciate you carrying that heavy responsibility so well." I don't care how committed we are, that would be weird. No thank you.

On the flip side, if you need a list on the internet to tell you to say things like "Thank you" and "I can't wait to see you," that is also an issue. :?

[heinz57]

The person giving advice is clearly not a Biblical woman. :naughty:

Obviously the ONLY appropriate thing to say to your headship is "Yes Master".

Then you scoot off to respect his manly silence.

[Hane]

As an independent single woman of many years' standing, I hereby state that I would rather sleep alone for the rest of my life than have to choke out any of that swill.

[Swamptribe]

I usually find myself saying "Isn't that what I suggested we should do three days ago?". Hell, my daughter even just complained about her boyfriend pulling that "Oh, did you suggest that already" crap on her.

Some of my other favorite phrases:

It's sexy when you do the dishes baby.

I swear, I'm not going grocery shopping with you anymore.

Hey babe, thanks for folding that laundry.

I am not sitting here watching WWII documentaries again.

You are the biggest pain in my ass.

[LilMissMetaphor]

I'd more likely pull out my own teeth with a rusty pair of pliers than say any of these to "my man"...

Whatever you think is best.

What would you like me to focus on?

What would you like me to stop doing?

It’s great having a big, strong man like you around!

What a fantastic idea!

You are so smart!

Oh, and I'd like to hear anyone say either of these without sounding like a patronizing (or matronizing) asshole.

[scarygirl]

All I can say is, really? :twisted: :roll:

[heinz57]

Ooooooooh, she and her husband also have some delightful personal ministry blogs

His - respectedhusband.wordpress dot com

As a husband, you do not have a choice as to your role in the family. It was decided for you by God. You were appointed head of your family. You carry the responsibility. You are the CEO.

Do not be fooled, Satan is well aware of this and has strategically designed his attack to target the husband. So, his plan to destroy the family is to neutralize the man.

And hers - peacefulwife dot com

I realize it is my job to cling tightly to Christ. It is my job to love Jesus more than I love my husband. It is my job to find my joy in Christ. It is my job to get my emotional and spiritual needs met primarily by Christ and take all that pressure off of my husband.

[pixydust]

Well some of those are normal, healthy things to say to someone. When my husband was job hunting I did a lot of the cheerleader stuff, you know "You can do this", "that job sounds perfect for you", "just be yourself, they will love you", etc. Normal, encouraging things to say to someone. (I also said "You can't take a job that is 60 miles away unless it pays $xxxxx", but that isn't fundie aproved! haha) I say "thank you" quite a lot, and when we've been busy and haven't spent much time together I do tell him that I can't wait to see him.

Some of that is insane. I think I will try it on my hubby tonight, just to see the look on his face! Hmmm, should I try "What would you like me to stop doing?" or "I love your patience." Wow, that was hard to type without laughing!

Like someone else said, if you need to be instructed to tell your husband that you love him or want to see him, then your relationship is in serious trouble.

[Nothing2CHere]

OK, I have seriously said the phrase "Thanks for taking such good care of me" to my husband on several occasions. But that's because he does things like cooks me breakfast, packs my lunch for me in the morning, runs to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions for me, rubs my back when it hurts me, etc. - I'm sure things like that are not what the author of this list had in mind when she wrote that phrase down.

[browngrl]

I say things like: "I believe in you", "I'm so proud of you", "you did a great job", "I'm so happy here with you", "I can't wait to see you" "thank you" "you take such good care of me" etc to my husband all the time. I actually make a point of noticing and thanking him for all the things he does. I make a point of complimenting him whenever I see something he had done/said that deserves a compliment (and I actively look for things to compliment him on). Why do I do this? It is not because I am submitting. It is because it is kind and it is true and he treats me exactly the same way.

If someone is using these phrases because they are powerless and they wish to appease their master that is one thing (and a snark worthy thing at that) but in the context of a loving and equal relationship - I think that many these phrases are actually pretty nice.

[ems]

http://peacefulsinglegirl.wordpressDOTc ... -your-man/

ughhh.

Being appreciative (which goes for both genders/partners): good.

Constantly needing to stroke your man's ego: bad.

Only slightly off topic, but I read an incredibly disturbing post on notalwaysright.com, where a customer was basically like, "I am a man; I demand respect. Women don't beat men; it's the other way around. :o." Scary the things fundie men are tought.

[Naga Viper]

Fucking gross. Yeah, some of these are perfectly fine in a healthy, normal relationship, but it's impossible not to hear a lot of them without expecting sarcasm or irony. As a dude, the following would not creep me out under the following circumstances only:

- Thanks for taking such good care of me.

She's sick. Like, three-days-at-home sick or worse.

- It’s great having a big, strong man like you around!

I just opened a jar she couldn't manage because her hands were wet.

- What would you like me to focus on?

She's referring to Excel spreadsheets.

- Thanks for being the leader in our relationship. I appreciate you carrying that heavy responsibility so well.

Approximately never.

[Smithie]

I say things like: "I believe in you", "I'm so proud of you", "you did a great job", "I'm so happy here with you", "I can't wait to see you" "thank you" "you take such good care of me" etc to my husband all the time. I actually make a point of noticing and thanking him for all the things he does. I make a point of complimenting him whenever I see something he had done/said that deserves a compliment (and I actively look for things to compliment him on). Why do I do this? It is not because I am submitting. It is because it is kind and it is true and he treats me exactly the same way.

If someone is using these phrases because they are powerless and they wish to appease their master that is one thing (and a snark worthy thing at that) but in the context of a loving and equal relationship - I think that many these phrases are actually pretty nice.

Yes, exactly. For a lot of these phrases, it's not the phrase itself but the context in which it's said and the backgrounds of the individuals involved that shift it from "strong, loving relationship" to "mindless, ego-stoking obedience."

[JesusFightClub]

For me:

Comrade, your line is really off on this. Have you read....?

No, we're going to have to disagree.

I'm sorry, but if you think about it, comrade, you'll see...

:lol:

[ElphabaGalinda]

Yes, exactly. For a lot of these phrases, it's not the phrase itself but the context in which it's said and the backgrounds of the individuals involved that shift it from "strong, loving relationship" to "mindless, ego-stoking obedience."

I agree some of these phrases are okay, but they should never just be what the wife says to the husband. It should go both ways. It should be part of a strong loving relationship. But in this case it's part of a relationship based on one powerless member worshiping the one with all the power, as a way to make sure he doesn't do anything terrible or doesn't accuse her of not being submissive enough. That's not okay. And many of these phrases are not okay and would sound strange if a normal person said them. And it's unlikely they say them because their husband does anything worth complimenting. They have to say that sort of thing no matter what their husband does because what they have is much more like a slave-master relationship.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

I'm convinced that this is Christianeze for "I'm into BDSM."

[holierthanyou]

Fucking gross. Yeah, some of these are perfectly fine in a healthy, normal relationship, but it's impossible not to hear a lot of them without expecting sarcasm or irony. As a dude, the following would not creep me out under the following circumstances only:

She's sick. Like, three-days-at-home sick or worse.

I just opened a jar she couldn't manage because her hands were wet.

She's referring to Excel spreadsheets.

Approximately never.

You are my new favourite person on this board. Thanks for making me laugh in agreement with the "approximately never" comment.

[muffynbear]

http://peacefulsinglegirl.wordpressDOTc ... -your-man/

Well, I guess I would fail at most of these phrases. My bf and I are like an old married couple.

My usual phrases are:

"Wtf dude! Clean up your shit!"

"Make a goddamn decision for once!"

"You're pissing me off today!"

"Hurry up. Let's get this show on the road."

Etc. and so forth. I guess it has to do with the fact that I'm not a self-loathing, brainwashed woman. IMO, it's unhealthy to cover up your real feelings with your partner. If my partner is pissing me off, I will tell him. None of this fakey, fake "Oh honey you're swell! " shit. I expect the same level of honesty from my partner. Don't get me wrong. I say encouraging things, but I'm not afraid to speak my mind.

[Naga Viper]

You are my new favourite person on this board.

Aw, thanks. :D

I agree some of these phrases are okay, but they should never just be what the wife says to the husband. It should go both ways.

THIS.

[HoneyBunny]

I've used several of those with my husband, WHEN THEY WERE APPROPRIATE, not because someone said I should. I've also used them with friends, co-workers, parents, kids I teach, etc. That's just me. My husband, OTOH, is not like that. When he says something "sweet", it's well thought out and sincere in the extreme. That's just him.

It works for us. I would never suggest that it should work for everyone. That's what bugs about these people. Always preaching. Mind your own damn business. God did not leave YOU in charge when she went to lunch.

[deelaem]

As a husband, you do not have a choice as to your role in the family. It was decided for you by God. You were appointed head of your family. You carry the responsibility. You are the CEO. Do not be fooled, Satan is well aware of this and has strategically designed his attack to target the husband. So, his plan to destroy the family is to neutralize the man.

You know, if I didn't hate it so much, I'd be almost impressed at how masterfully (!) the patriarchy sets itself up with lines like these. They have no better strategy than to invoke the "what about the menz!11!" device, which is designed to make women feel ashamed for asking for basic human rights and respect. Poor, poor men. It's such a hard job to both run the world and keep the uppity women down! My heart bleeds for them. :roll: x a million.

I think a perfectly respectful phrase to use with your man is "Thanks for not being an asshole."

[mnb357]

If I were to say stuff like that to my husband, he'd need a heaping dose of little blue pills. It sounds so emasculating. Those phrases sort of bring to mind the mothers at our kids' swim class who clap every time their kids do something in the pool. Then again, these are for use on fundie men...the bar for adult behavior really isn't set that high, is it?

[Cannelle]

Half that list reads like it came from someone who's been lobotomized.

[Witsec7]

The respectful phrases I currently use with the men in my life are, now, harder, there, easy, yes and some positively feral noises. It's what works in my life, perhaps the blogger should try them sometime.