Lori Alexander on Stay-at-home dads

[2xx1xy1JD]

lorialexander.blogspot.ca/2011/12/stay-at-home-dads.html

Most of her stuff is just idiotic, but this one made me particularly angry.

First off, it contradicts most of the lame "logic" used to defend the whole notion of SAHMs. If a mother at home isn't being lazy but is doing the most important job in the world, why does that suddenly change if it is the dad at home?

Second, it's a direct slap in the face to some of the most AWESOME dads that I know! Tell me, how would it have made sense for my BIL to continue his job working with kids with special needs, while paying for therapy for his own son with autism? He was still working hard - it's just that the work was with his own kids. In no way, shape or form was he a deadbeat dad. He was caring for his kids in the most direct way possible.

Mark Driscoll can also go to hell. I was PROUD to have a hubby that took parental leave and that would actively care for our kids...including picking them up from daycare.

[emmiedahl]

My stepfather was our stay-at-home dad. He actually ran a business from home, but he was changing my baby sister's diapers and handling the teenage drama from the older kids (me included). Papa is a warm, fuzzy, affectionate guy, MUCH more so than my mom. My mother is a career woman type. Of course Lori knows better than my parents how they should have run a huge blended family with diverse personalities. :roll:

[Maude]

In context, I Timothy 5:8 is an admonishment to provide for the widowed. Nice try, Driscoll. Lori and Driscoll really need to meet my family because they contradict just about every last word in this piece. Morons.

[lilwriter85]

That whole posting pissed me off and some of Lori's fangirls pissed me off. I know two guys who are stay at home dads currently. One of them is former co-worker of mine who recently got job that allows him to work from home. Prior to that he had been staying at him with three daughters after getting laid off from a medical supply company back in 2008. Over the past four years his wife works and did occasional odd jobs. He enjoys being a stay home dad. Right now two of his daughters will be entering kindergarten next year. He has said that he will miss having kids at home around during the day. The other stay at home dad that I know is my cousin. He was in the military for several years and did a couple of tours in Iraq. He got of the military in 2009 and has been staying home with his son since then. He and his wife are expecting their second child in August. My cousin will be done with respiratory therapy school in a year. He is sad that he won't get to have the stay at home dad experience with his second child.

If my co-worker and my cousin read Lori's blog and Mark Drisoll's BS, they would be pissed.

[Witsec7]

I have to take a shot at this before I go to bed because I read the article and comments and its giving me agita.

My DDs father was a wonderful attentive, nurturing, empathetic SAHDad. We chose our roles in this marriage based on what was best for our child, not based on a fable told by bronze age sheep herders or determined by by who had a penis or didn't. I spent three months as an SAHM once when I was unemployed, I could not relate to the women in play groups at all. I needed to achieve and have an identity outside of being a parent and a SAHM in order to maintain my own emotional balance and well being. The freedom to be me, gave me the ability to be a better parent during the times I was home.

In the mid 80's this was considered unconventional. I am pleased to see that the majority of our culture now doesn't think twice when couples choose to switch patriarchal gender roles in the home. I cooked, gardened, and cared for my family in my off hours. I worked a second shift, like most working mothers do, and my husband worked his second shift as well, nurturing me, supporting my career goals and caring for my needs.

Mark Driscoll is just so much bullshit.

[debrand]

My BIL is older then my sister so he retired from the military several years ago. My sister wants to concentrate on her own career so my BIL has become a house husband.They have three children, two of which are elementary school age. Considering that my BIL was in EOD and served tours in Afghanistan, I'm pretty certain that he has Driscoll beat in the manly department. Hell, my little sister has Driscoll beat in the manly department. :roll:

Both my daughters want to be like their aunt and have husbands who remain home with their kids.

[debrand]

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel

There are many ways to provide for a home. Taking care of the children and making certain the house runs smoothly is a way of providing for the home.

It would upset many stay at home moms(and rightly so) if someone suggested that money brought into the home was not theirs also. Parents do what is best for their family and are supposed to share their resources. I think that there are many more men who would make great stay at home dads then we realize.

Also, the verse that I quoted used the pronoun, he. Until recently masculine pronouns were used to refer to everyone. For example, mankind means all humans and the word, he can refer to both both women and men. How do we know that the word he is referring only to men?

[pittsburghmummy]

My dd has a friend who stays at home. He is a great dad. He comes to storytime with his daughter and we are going to hang out over the summer with the girls. I think its great that my DD gets to experience all kinds of families.

[Childless]

My husband stays home with our son. He's a great stay at home parent, much better than I would be. He's a homebody with loads of patience. I get bored easily and loose my temper faster. Why should my son have to deal with me being the stay at home parent (which would not be enjoyable for either of us) when he could have my husband at home? Besides, I make about 3 times more money than my husband did. Even after he gets his degree, I will still make twice what he does. Does it make sense for our family to struggle financially just so we can fit into some ridiculous outdated ideal? We're doing what's in the best interest of our family. Lori and Mark can go take a large leap off a tall building.

[dawbs]

She needs a bag of oranges to the head.

My husband provides for my daughter by being there for her 2 days a week (not saturday and sunday, FWIW, he currently works PT--we have 'opposite' days off. So he does the SAHD thing 2 days per week. Which is when the lion's share of the housework in my home gets done because he's good at it and I"m not).

He provides for my daughter by working the other 5.

We believe in using our God-Given-Talents. My God-Given-Talent is to work in a calling where I make a living--I go crazy if I"m home for more than 5 days w/ my kid. His God-Given-Talents make him really good at 'doing stuff' at home while being attuned to our kid's needs (I can either get things done OR take good care of my kid--for whatever reason, I fail at doing both at the same time).

[Athena]

These people are morons who don't live in the real world. I have a more stable job (with benefits) than my husband and he can pick up contracts to work from home. I am so proud of my husband to have the nuturing nature and ability to multi-task that it takes to be the awesome SAHDad that he is! We would be very irresponsible parents for me to quit my job and stay at home and my husband to scrape by with whatever contracts he can pick up.

[Lunatic]

My husband was a SAHD until the youngest went to kindergarten last fall. He was unemployed when I was pregnant so it was a no-brainer that he should stay at home. I know there were parts he loved and parts he didn't but it worked for us. We know of two other families where the dad stays at home too. I would have liked to stay at home for a while with the kids but it just didn't work out that way. We're both working now and I work from home mostly so I can take the kids to the bus and be here when they get home. I don't get the the strict gender roles. Crap has to get done around the house and it doesn't matter who does it!

[JesusFightClub]

My brother's partner was murdered. What the fuck was he supposed to do with his offspring, since to fundies daycare is ebil and fills you with socialism?

Have fundies any clue about the real world at all?

[BlackHawk]

My brother's partner was murdered. What the fuck was he supposed to do with his offspring, since to fundies daycare is ebil and fills you with socialism?

Have fundies any clue about the real world at all?

*Please note that this answer is given in sarcasm!*

Duh JFC, he is to immediately marry another girl so that SHE can raise his offspring while he still is the manly man providing for his family. :roll:

[JesusFightClub]

LOL! But what about the courtship? And given my dad's track record I'd be terrified if he had to approve bro's partner :D

You guys are out of luck too! How much do fundies suck.

[genericJname]

I wrote hate mail to Mark D. a few years ago on this very clip. At the time, my husband had quit his job (for which my very sick son had used up the lifetime cap on medical benefits.) He took care of our one year old who was in heart failure, on the transplant list, on a continuous IV drip keeping his heart pumping, continuous ng tube feedings of a gross, specialized formula, PT/OT/home nursing visits every week, about 15 meds that had to be administered at different times during the day and checkups at the hospital across town at least 2-3 times/week. I had to keep my job, which I was eventually going to get laid off from, long enough to keep medical benefits before we got onto a medicaid waiver.

I got a generic email back from his staff saying "well, Mark did say that there are some exceptions." I guess Mark in all his wisdom approves which situations are dire enough to allow an emasculated dads to hang out with their kids. :roll:

Right now, my husband is sort of a SAHDad again. He goes to school workday mornings and I work 3 12-hr shifts plus more sometimes. He worked hard to get me through my nursing degree a year ago. Why would it make sense for me not to use that degree to support our family if I can?

[lilwriter85]

One stay at home dad posted this comment.

Al Watts · 24 weeks ago

Yes! Absolutely! Men need to provide for their families. They need to stop being deadbeats and uninvolved with their children.

But they don't need to earn income.

I have been an at-home dad for 9 years and I provide plenty for my family.

I work harder caring for my children and household than I ever did when I earned money.

We are fortunate that my wife makes a good enough income to provide the food, shelter, clothing, etc we need. By not earning an income, we are able to have one of our children's parents home with them everyday to nurture them and take care of their needs. Why does it matter that the parent at home with our children is me, the dad, if our family is strong and secure?

The answer is, it doesn't matter. Men can be successful at home. Women can be successful at work. It isn't unnatural.

And, for us, it works very well.

One of Lori's dumb ass fan girls posted the below comment in response.

Ginger · 24 weeks ago

I understand that every family dynamic is different. But life shouldn't be based on what we "think" is best for our family. It should be based on God's Word. If it wasn't important to Him then he wouldn't or directed someone to write it in the Bible. If you say God's Word (all of it) doesn't apply in today's culture then you can't honestly say you believe the Bible.

I agree 100% with Lori. Not because she said it, but because it's Biblical!

I doubt Ginger is living her life based completely on the Bible. Yes Ginger, I do think life should be based on what couples feel is best for their families. Some men end up in situations in which their college educations or vocational training doesn't put them in a high earning bracket and sometimes their wives end up in the higher earning brackets. There are some men that wouldn't be able to support their families on certain incomes if their wives stayed at home with the kids. If a man feels more comfortable staying at home with his kids, while his wife is out being the breadwinner, then that is what is best for the family. Stuff from the Bible doesn't hold up today and many religious leaders are logical and they tell people to do what they feel is right in their hearts. I know a couple of ministers who are perfectly fine with working moms, stay at home dads or two income homes. They would rip Lori's posting and some of the comments to shreds.

[StarrieEyedKat]

One of Lori's dumb ass fan girls posted the below comment in response.

Lol, don't do what's best for your family, just follow a book from the Bronze age that has little to no relevancy to modern day life!!

[Mountain Girl]

Well she would love my family...not really, she would set us on fire. Stay at home dads, gay relatives, public schooling, marrying non-Christians and brown people. My family alone is a recipe for apocalypse.

[JesusFightClub]

LOL, Ginger is mental. Does she really do what "God's word (all of it)" commands? If so I'm amazed she's not in the jail.

[Elle]

*Please note that this answer is given in sarcasm!*

Duh JFC, he is to immediately marry another girl so that SHE can raise his offspring while he still is the manly man providing for his family. :roll:

Sadly though that is what a widowed father is expected to do. Just replace the mother. Just like a widowed mother is expected to quickly remarry a man to support her. :roll:

[lilwriter85]

LOL, Ginger is mental. Does she really do what "God's word (all of it)" commands? If so I'm amazed she's not in the jail.

She covers up the crimes she commits in doing God's Bibical commands lol. I cringe every time people like Ginger and Lori saying that you have to your life based on the Bible. We all know Lori and Ginger aren't doing everything that Bible says to do and they probably do stuff that is against the Bible. Lori didn't even full the earth with kids like the Bible says to. She only had four kids.