Where Have All The Good Men Gone?

[Deleted08]

feasttofamine.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/where-have-all-the-real-men-gone/

Men who ask you what you want, whether it’s what movie to see or where to go eat, are not nice or polite…they are lazy.

Whoa...I'm glad my husband never asks my opinion :twisted:

[Effie]

Eeeeh:

A friend of mine was telling me about a woman at work who was bragging about trimming hedges over the weekend. “Was your husband out of town?†my friend asked innocently. The woman got very defensive and said “I can do it!†My friend replied (not out loud, of course) that she wouldn’t be surprised if that husband dreamed of having a woman who would let him be the man and trim the hedges himself. I can’t help but agree.

:?

[crassy]

Eeeeh: :?

Oh dear. If I wanted around for my husband to do every little thing just because he sports a penis, I would be living on an empty block of land instead of a house.

[ladypuglover]

Oh dear. If I wanted around for my husband to do every little thing just because he sports a penis, I would be living on an empty block of land instead of a house.

Same here, and nothing would get done. My husband has more than enough to than 4 people and wouldn't like if I added even more to that list.

Maybe this woman's husband is allergic to stuff or a real clutz. Maybe the woman likes trimming the hedges while her husband enjoys weeding? Has this woman never heard of that many hands make light/short work?

[Tanaqui]

Eeeeh: :?

Wow. I do most of the lawn work for our house (except the mowing. I can't control our mower on our steep hill) A. Because I'm the one who is most interested in the flower beds and vegetable patch, B. I don't work, so I need to do my share in other areas, and C. I'm the one with the long-term plan (and those bushes and that tree are in my way). The husband does not get as excited about digging up a stump as I do. :mrgreen: He's got his own hobbies to be manly with.

My husband does his own laundry and vacuums way more regularly than I ever would. Come to think of it, my parents divide the housework the same way. I guess we're doing it wrong.

[Cran]

I pity every man who feels his manliness hangs on the thread of being able to cut the hedge.

Fundie-men baffle me: Obviously, they are so insecure about their self-image and worth, slave to the visual impressions of the worls and the women, but they are to be the leaders! I'd never elect such a man (or any person) to leadership. This is the fabric tyrants are made of.

[Elle]

A friend of mine was telling me about a woman at work who was bragging about trimming hedges over the weekend. “Was your husband out of town?†my friend asked innocently. The woman got very defensive and said “I can do it!†My friend replied (not out loud, of course) that she wouldn’t be surprised if that husband dreamed of having a woman who would let him be the man and trim the hedges himself. I can’t help but agree.

A real man can wash his own damned underwear and shave his own damned face instead of relying on a wife to wash his drawers and his daughter to shave him. If a man can't do those things, then I wouldn't trust him with hedge clippers.

[Soldevi]

Gaah, I bloody hell hate when they categorise jobs. Fundies would hate the idea that my husband knits - voluntarily. In Finland knitting has been done by men and women traditionally. But maybe we have just suppressed our men from the beginning ;)

In my family I am the one who renovates. I did remove wallpapers, sanded walls, painted, hammered the tiles, contacted plumbers and other workforce. I am the one who uses a power drill etc. I do this because I want to do and I am better at it. He is happy to do other things. I am also the one who is more interested of fixing cars and if we had hedges, I think I would take care of trimming, too. And I am not the exception here at all. We were bought up like almost all my other friends that in relationship he/she does who does it better and likes it better.

Macho, macho man thinking is something people joke about here. Maybe our men are too suppressed or maybe they have so good self-esteem that they don't need to boost it up by categorising jobs...

[fluttershies]

Gaah, I bloody hell hate when they categorise jobs. Fundies would hate the idea that my husband knits - voluntarily. In Finland knitting has been done by men and women traditionally. But maybe we have just suppressed our men from the beginning ;)

In my family I am the one who renovates. I did remove wallpapers, sanded walls, painted, hammered the tiles, contacted plumbers and other workforce. I am the one who uses a power drill etc. I do this because I want to do and I am better at it. He is happy to do other things. I am also the one who is more interested of fixing cars and if we had hedges, I think I would take care of trimming, too. And I am not the exception here at all. We were bought up like almost all my other friends that in relationship he/she does who does it better and likes it better.

Macho, macho man thinking is something people joke about here. Maybe our men are too suppressed or maybe they have so good self-esteem that they don't need to boost it up by categorising jobs...

My uncle (we're in the UK) also knits, and is very good - better than my aunt, my mum, me and my sister! Men seem to have perfect tension for some reason.

[alba]

I pity every man who feels his manliness hangs on the thread of being able to cut the hedge.

Fundie-men baffle me: Obviously, they are so insecure about their self-image and worth, slave to the visual impressions of the worls and the women, but they are to be the leaders! I'd never elect such a man (or any person) to leadership. This is the fabric tyrants are made of.

And this here is how the patriarchy hurts men, too, by showing them that they're not good enough if they don't fit into the "manly" mould.

By extension, of course, it also hurts women, by putting these insecure men at the top, because men who are insecure about their masculinity can get aggressive and scary.

[HoneyBunny]

These sorts of ideas, when they are spouted by far-right fundies, make me crazy. My husband was in the military for 28 years. You know, fighting those pre-emptive wars that the far right love so much. Who the hell do they think runs the hundreds of thousands of household when one member is away? Do they then also think that I flipped a switch when my husband showed up after two years away and went back into my "submissive female" mode? Oh yeah, THAT happened. He's retired now, but DH last return home was in 2005. We're STILL negotiating over territory. There are things that I simply do better- why wouldn't I be the one who does them?

However, this stops at one duty: killing bugs. In the immortal words of Suzanne Sugarbaker, "The man should have to kill the bugs!"

[Talitha Cumi]

In the immortal words of Suzanne Sugarbaker, "The man should have to kill the bugs!"

So very true. :clap:

[holothuroidea]

There are very few things that being male or female automatically make you fit to do, and even those vary by individuals. These job allocations make no actual sense.

I think people just like to have things spelled out for them so they don't have to actually think about what they should do. It takes work in a marriage to figure out who is better at what and find a fair regulation of duties, I guess they just want to eliminate that work all together.

Nanananana LA-ZY.

[Soldevi]

So very true. :clap:

Only bees and that is because I am allergic. He is not allowed to kill them, though, just guide them outside while I am hiding in the bathroom :lol: Seriously, last week a bumblebee as big as a sparrow flew inside. It was HUGE and very noisy. And if I am home alone, I'll grab my laptop and wait in the bathroom for someone to come home...

[Elle]

Gaah, I bloody hell hate when they categorise jobs. Fundies would hate the idea that my husband knits - voluntarily. In Finland knitting has been done by men and women traditionally. But maybe we have just suppressed our men from the beginning ;)

Sailors on those old ships used to do the most incredible embroidery. Since there were no women, the men had to sew, and a way they'd often relax, and hone a skill that didn't require a lot of energy, was to embroidery. Very intricately too.

[julie paradox]

Oh dear...

My problem with the film is not so much in its ridiculous premise, but with a scene in the film in which the lead actress (who also happens to be the writer and director) meets a wonderful man after striking out countless times on the dating scene….AND SLEEPS WITH HIM ON THE FIRST DATE. The act of sudden intimacy was portrayed as normal and desirable and the couple went on to enjoy a mature and loving relationship. What? Films are usually terrible about glamorizing casual sex and treating sex with a virtual stranger as the norm but the characters at least know each other a little bit before diving into bed! I was astounded to see sex on the first date touted as a cause for celebration. In reality, this woman would probably never hear from this man again if she gave it away on the first date. What a terrible message and what a LIE to tell women. Casual sex is not liberating unless you are a man. For women, it is punishing. If you want a relationship with a man …MAKE HIM WAIT! He will love you for it.

I call my first witness... debrand, wasn't it?

[Cran]

Only liberating for a man... ok, so I am suppose to make a man wait so he respects me, while on the other hand, this liberated man could have had as many women as he liked before?

I call hypocritshit on that.

[holothuroidea]

My problem with the film is not so much in its ridiculous premise, but with a scene in the film in which the lead actress (who also happens to be the writer and director) meets a wonderful man after striking out countless times on the dating scene….AND SLEEPS WITH HIM ON THE FIRST DATE. The act of sudden intimacy was portrayed as normal and desirable and the couple went on to enjoy a mature and loving relationship. What? Films are usually terrible about glamorizing casual sex and treating sex with a virtual stranger as the norm but the characters at least know each other a little bit before diving into bed! I was astounded to see sex on the first date touted as a cause for celebration. In reality, this woman would probably never hear from this man again if she gave it away on the first date. What a terrible message and what a LIE to tell women. Casual sex is not liberating unless you are a man. For women, it is punishing. If you want a relationship with a man …MAKE HIM WAIT! He will love you for it.

Wow. Talk about a terrible message to send to women. "Sex is only enjoyable for men! The only thing women get out of sex is a relationship!!"

This person needs a vibrator and an education.

ETA: Also, the "sex is your best manipulative tool" BS really makes me want to hit things. If I ever have a son, I hope he grows up to see through people like that.

[Soldevi]

Ahem. He made me wait. We did sleep together on our first date but in a very pure way :D

Why does she assume that every single man is similar to another? I know all kind of couples who have now a mature and loving relationship. Some had sex on the first date, others later, some even waited wedding night. Why woman is always someone who gives and man someone who takes and is in general an active and acting part of the duo?

[Talitha Cumi]

Only bees and that is because I am allergic. He is not allowed to kill them, though, just guide them outside while I am hiding in the bathroom :lol: Seriously, last week a bumblebee as big as a sparrow flew inside. It was HUGE and very noisy. And if I am home alone, I'll grab my laptop and wait in the bathroom for someone to come home...

I live in Florida. We have palmetto bugs-- 3-inch roaches. :confusion-helpsos:

[VintageJen1984]

Oh dear...

I call BS! I slept with my current BF on the first date. I had actually met him about 48 hours previous. I didn't plan to, he didn't plan to, like sex often does, it just kind of happened. And he has continually pursued me since. Also he's the first guy I've ever dated (yes, I'm being serious) who doesn't dump me and head for the hills just because we disagree about something completely minor. (And then people assume there is something wrong with me because I'm 27 and not married. Try getting dumped because you watch the Disney channel, yeah that happened to me.)

I fail to see much difference between that and going from no physical contact to a (as she describes it) mature and loving relationship on the wedding night.

[genericJname]

I did some skimming through the rest of her blog. She sounds like she has some baggage. With all her talk about men being shallow and sex-crazed, she seems pretty nitpicky. She didn't want to date a guy because he wasn't athletic, complained about being texted the next day to say the date was fun and saw a red flag because someone she was dating ditched their phone date to drive a friend to the hospital.