Fundy pants!

[Kitten]

UK pants carry label that gives wash instructions and then adds OR...GIVE IT TO YOUR WOMAN. IT'S HER JOB..

http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2012/03/07/u-k-pants-label-give-laundry-to-your-woman/?iref=obnetwork

Sigh...

[Whydoyouask]

It's not my JOB. No more elaboration needed.

[NurseNell]

When my son played high school football there was a meeting for the players and their parents. The coach told the boys, YOU are responsible for your uniform. "I do not want to hear your uniforms are dirty because your Mom didn't have time to do the laundry." That was the day my son started doing his own laundry. I did iron his school uniform but he had to launder them, and his football uniform.

[ohmeohmy]

Ugh....A friend of mine posted this on his Facebook today and his female friends all thought it was so hysterical and such a silly joke rooted in ignorance that it'd be over-reacting to find it insulting, or even just dumb and not that funny. His defense was that women make plenty of jokes based on stereotypes of men, so it's fair. Um, not so much.

[Alecto]

Growing up, my father always did the laundry. I honestly had no idea it was a stereotypical "female" job until I was in my teens.

[O Latin]

Growing up, my father always did the laundry. I honestly had no idea it was a stereotypical "female" job until I was in my teens.

Same here. Maybe because our washer and dryer were in the basement, along with the tools, I grew up thinking laundry was a guy thing.

[reds]

my dad cooked almost every meal when i was growing up. Thought it was odd when i found out that isnt "normal".

[ilovetchotchkes]

Considering my husband ALWAYS does the laundry. (especially the diaper loads BLESS HIS HEART) and my job is to fold it... yeah screw you label. Especially since I'm getting more and more pregnant by the second, and can't schlepp baskets up and down stairs because my balance is so bad and I keep getting dizzy!

[FearLyss]

My mother always did the laundry, until my sister and I were old enough to do our own. Now that my Dad works less, he does his own as well. My family has always stuck by the typical gender roles. At family gatherings, I would argue (very disrespectfully) when my sister and I were told to clear the tables and wash the dishes while my cousin (a boy younger than me and older than my sister) got to sit and watch football with the other men who also did nothing to contribute to the meal. I remember refusing to for hours, and just sitting in the kitchen telling my sister not to either, that what they were doing was wrong. I always told them we would help clear the table and clean the dishes once he was sent out to help, and would just wait (I was a stubborn brat). When he did help, they acted like he was fucking hero and it was unfair that he had to help. I hated it. Then again, my cousin hated it when my grandmother screamed at him for playing with a doll. :evil:

At the time, my approach may have been wrong, but I feel that rebelious little girl coming out again :x

[ilovetchotchkes]

My mother always did the laundry, until my sister and I were old enough to do our own. Now that my Dad works less, he does his own as well. My family has always stuck by the typical gender roles. At family gatherings, I would argue (very disrespectfully) when my sister and I were told to clear the tables and wash the dishes while my cousin (a boy younger than me and older than my sister) got to sit and watch football with the other men who also did nothing to contribute to the meal. I remember refusing to for hours, and just sitting in the kitchen telling my sister not to either, that what they were doing was wrong. I always told them we would help clear the table and clean the dishes once he was sent out to help, and would just wait (I was a stubborn brat). When he did help, they acted like he was fucking hero and it was unfair that he had to help. I hated it. Then again, my cousin hated it when my grandmother screamed at him for playing with a doll. :evil:

At the time, my approach may have been wrong, but I feel that rebelious little girl coming out again :x

HOnestly? I don't think you were being disrespectful. We had an exchange student in college whose mother sent him with a letter "F is to do the dishes and any other household chores your girls participate in as I expect him to behave as a member of your family". He'd pull crap like "I'm letting the dishes soak" and leaving them overnight and then we'd have to do them "our turn" the next day. My sister finally bitched him out enough that he did what he was supposed to. His mother STILL gives him crap for giving the 2 of us crap.

[Maude]

While my dad didn't do the bulk of the laundry while I was growing up, he was the one we'd go to if we needed something sewn or ironed, and he often cooked when he was home. I never realized the extent that gender roles existed in [modern] society until I found myself enmeshed in Evangelical Christianity.

ETA: I learned to do my own laundry around age eight because my mother frequently ruined my clothes.

[JesusFightClub]

My dad is a diabolical cook, he's actually worse than me which takes some doing. At least I can do easy things like roast a chicken, make omlet etc. He once attempted to heat up a frozen dinner for us and served it up with the ice chips still in it.

He is the bathroom cleaning, vacuuming, mowing lawn and cleaning sink guy. If it involves bleach or mechanical instruments he does it, and when my mum was sitting professional exams he did more than that. I remember writing an essay in French class about what my mum and dad did and putting down "My mum studies hard for her work. She works in an office. My dad works in an office too. He cleans the house." The teacher laughed and said "You meant to put your mum cleans the house?" I said "No, my dad." He replied "So he's really under the thumb then".

*sigh*

[VintageJen1984]

While my dad didn't do the bulk of the laundry while I was growing up, he was the one we'd go to if we needed something sewn or ironed, and he often cooked when he was home. I never realized the extent that gender roles existed in [modern] society until I found myself enmeshed in Evangelical Christianity.

ETA: I learned to do my own laundry around age eight because my mother frequently ruined my clothes.

*laughs* I grew up in Evangelical Christianity. My mom and stepdad are good little Evangelicals, they each do half the laundry, each do half the cooking, each do half the cleaning. He mows, because the lawn mower is his toy, she gardens because that's her toy. He does a lot of extra work around the house because he's a teacher, and has lots of extra days off at random, plus Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break, Easter, and Summer break. So really he does more of the work around the house. This equal housework thing is the way most of the families in their church function.

[Maude]

*laughs* I grew up in Evangelical Christianity. My mom and stepdad are good little Evangelicals, they each do half the laundry, each do half the cooking, each do half the cleaning. He mows, because the lawn mower is his toy, she gardens because that's her toy. He does a lot of extra work around the house because he's a teacher, and has lots of extra days off at random, plus Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break, Easter, and Summer break. So really he does more of the work around the house. This equal housework thing is the way most of the families in their church function.

I didn't mean to suggest that all Evangelicals believe in gender stereotypes. Obviously your parents didn't/don't, but the truth is as I said, I never realized the extent that gender roles were still pervasive until I got involved with a Pentecostal church at about fourteen. This was about twelve or so years ago now, right in the thick of the 'Left Behind' craziness. It was where I now realize I first came into contact with the ideas of Christian patriarchy.

[Hane]

When my son played high school football there was a meeting for the players and their parents. The coach told the boys, YOU are responsible for your uniform. "I do not want to hear your uniforms are dirty because your Mom didn't have time to do the laundry." That was the day my son started doing his own laundry. I did iron his school uniform but he had to launder them, and his football uniform.

There are no words for how much I love this guy.

Way back in the '60s, all three sons of my mom's best friend (a mild-mannered, religious little Methodist lady) regularly did their own laundry and ironing.

[snarkbillie]

Growing up, my father always did the laundry. I honestly had no idea it was a stereotypical "female" job until I was in my teens.

My husband does all the laundry. :lol: I should probably watch out for opportunities to do some as well.

[flojo]

HOnestly? I don't think you were being disrespectful. We had an exchange student in college whose mother sent him with a letter "F is to do the dishes and any other household chores your girls participate in as I expect him to behave as a member of your family". He'd pull crap like "I'm letting the dishes soak" and leaving them overnight and then we'd have to do them "our turn" the next day. My sister finally bitched him out enough that he did what he was supposed to. His mother STILL gives him crap for giving the 2 of us

crap.

FearLyss - You were beyond justified.

This exchange student's mother is AWESOME.

[Constance Vigilance]

My mother always did the laundry, until my sister and I were old enough to do our own. Now that my Dad works less, he does his own as well. My family has always stuck by the typical gender roles. At family gatherings, I would argue (very disrespectfully) when my sister and I were told to clear the tables and wash the dishes while my cousin (a boy younger than me and older than my sister) got to sit and watch football with the other men who also did nothing to contribute to the meal. I remember refusing to for hours, and just sitting in the kitchen telling my sister not to either, that what they were doing was wrong. I always told them we would help clear the table and clean the dishes once he was sent out to help, and would just wait (I was a stubborn brat). When he did help, they acted like he was fucking hero and it was unfair that he had to help. I hated it. Then again, my cousin hated it when my grandmother screamed at him for playing with a doll. :evil:

At the time, my approach may have been wrong, but I feel that rebelious little girl coming out again :x

That used to make my blood boil as well. At Christmas a few years ago me, my aunt (whose house we were at), my mum and my sisters a) made the food and b) took turns doing the washing up the whole time we were there, while my dad sat on his ass and didn't so much as lift a plate to the sink.

It annoyed me more and more and then around the third time I was called in to tackle a mountain of dishes while he watched crap on tv, I asked why he didn't have to take a turn, and my aunt flipped her fucking lid. "I can't believe you would be so DISRESPECTFUL, I would NEVER have asked my father to do the dishes. He is the MAN OF THE HOUSE, it isn't HIS JOB to do dishes. Oh I see, you don't want to take your turn. You're so LAZY and SELFISH" etc etc etc etc while I stared at her in bafflement and tried to point out the disrespect inherent in him sitting on his ass while his servants prepared food and cleaned up after him. No dice.

In the end I gave up and did them because it was her house, so her rules. But jeez the unexpected crazy was startling. HOW CAN YOU ASK A MAN TO DO THE DISHES???!?!?!

(Edited roughly a thousand times, as usual.)

[Kitchen Princess]

My sons have always done their own laundry since they could reach the top of the washer. They know how to clean the bathroom and do the dishes and sweep and mop and mow the lawn. I'm not visiting any housework grief on their future partners by not expecting them to be able to keep house.

My dad and my husband are both fantastic cooks (although I'm better). When we have big family dinners, I cook and my husband cleans up after me. My dad's wife cleans up after his forays into the kitchen.

[PBrooke]

My dad does the dishes about a third of the time, but he does the cooking about 2/3 of the time. He's also in charge of most of the "staples" at big family dinners like Thanksgiving, stuff like the meat, potatoes, etc. He generally starts the washing up after the meal, but he rounds up the rest of the family (including stray brothers-in-law) and makes us help. 'If you ate, you need to help with the dishes."

[Spider Burps]

That used to make my blood boil as well. At Christmas a few years ago me, my aunt (whose house we were at), my mum and my sisters a) made the food and b) took turns doing the washing up the whole time we were there, while my dad sat on his ass and didn't so much as lift a plate to the sink.

It annoyed me more and more and then around the third time I was called in to tackle a mountain of dishes while he watched crap on tv, I asked why he didn't have to take a turn, and my aunt flipped her fucking lid. "I can't believe you would be so DISRESPECTFUL, I would NEVER have asked my father to do the dishes. He is the MAN OF THE HOUSE, it isn't HIS JOB to do dishes. Oh I see, you don't want to take your turn. You're so LAZY and SELFISH" etc etc etc etc while I stared at her in bafflement and tried to point out the disrespect inherent in him sitting on his ass while his servants prepared food and cleaned up after him. No dice.

In the end I gave up and did them because it was her house, so her rules. But jeez the unexpected crazy was startling. HOW CAN YOU ASK A MAN TO DO THE DISHES???!?!?!

:clap: You ladies are far more brave and principled than I am! I've had similar experiences, both in my family and in my fiance's family, but I've never really thought to, well, say anything. I'm the sort of person who just assumes that everything will even out eventually, though I suppose it doesn't always work out that way. :P Add that to the fact that I'm the sort to volunteer to do the bitch work (in any situation) to keep everyone from arguing, I've always just sucked it up and cleaned! Probably not the best influence for my future children, but it has to be done eventually--and I'm not patient enough to wait around for someone else to do it.

[Kaylee]

The "women do the dishes while men watch football" thing always rubbed me the wrong way, too. I remember several of us spending the night at a friend's house when I was in my late teens and the 2 other girls and I cooking breakfast for everyone. The guys went to go watch TV and we were fussing about having to clean up, but it was like I'd suggested something totally crazy when I stepped into the living room and told the guys they could come wash up since we'd done all the rest.

This is one reason I always liked spending holiday's at my dad's parent's house rather than my mothers'. His mom has always been a housewife but my my grandfather always dries the dishes as she washes them and has always helped with housework, which seemed so cool to me when I was younger. My mom's mom had a career most of her life but also did all the cooking and domestic work and the women and girls usually spent most of the holiday helping prepare food, helping clean up, and the younger girls got babysitting duty while the adults socialized.

===

This does make me wonder what my son's view of housework will be. When the hubby and I first got married we both worked so we split housework about 60/40, but slipped into me doing more and more of it even though I was working longer hours and making more, and I resented the hell out of it. Now that I stay home, I do probably 80-90% of the inside work while he mows the lawn, cleans the outside dog kennel, hauls the trash to the dump, washes dishes occasionally and does laundry if it's behind and he's out of clothes for work. He'd never learned how to cook and didn't even know most packaged foods had directions printed on them until I showed him, but he now knows how to make a few basic meals and has cooked when I was sick, extra-busy with freelance projects, and during the first week or so after I gave birth. Our son loves to help with cooking and chores though (stirring bowls, getting spoons, wiping tables, throwing away trash, handing my clothes when I do laundry, "helping" vacuum and dust, etc) and I don't want him to think that they're divided by gender.

For those of you that stay at home with your children, or did while they were small, how do you get them to see housework and chores as a family responsibility instead of something that's primarily "mom's job" or "women's work"? I hate to say it but, even though my mom worked full-time and spent more time at work than my dad, I grew up feeling like the housework was her responsibility just because she was the mom and that's what moms did. My dad cooked a lot, because he enjoyed it and was home earlier, but he did not clean or do laundry or even mow the lawn or paint the house (my mom did those on the weekend when she was off work).

[happy atheist]

When my sons were 11 or 12 they got too lazy to fold their laundry and put it away after I ran it through the machines, so I quit doing it. They are both responsible for their own now, and they do just fine. They also each clean their own bathrooms and clean up the kitchen. They used to cook with me once a week, but are too busy now to keep a regular schedule with that.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

My mom had and has a bit of a martyr complex about housework. She never let me help her with ANYTHING when I was growing up (or my dad, for that matter, except for taking out the garbage.) It was not so much a gender roles thing as a "nobody can do it better than me, and I'd rather do it all myself and complain than teach someone else to do it" sort of thing. Even when I tried to pitch in, she'd just do it again herself.

When I got to college, I did not know how to do my own laundry, cook, or even make coffee. My roommates taught me how to do laundry, and I learned to cook by joining a cooking club.

I still give her crap about it.

[Kitten]

I learned to do my own laundry around age eight because my mother frequently ruined my clothes.

This x 100. Plus, in high school I played field hockey, and we had pleated COTTON kilts that had to be freshly washed and ironed twice a week for games, and as bad as my mom was at washing, she was worse at ironing, and I was a bit obsessive about things being "right," so no way would I let her touch that kilt, even though I hated ironing. :roll: :lol:

My spousal unit learned to cook when his mom went in the hospital to have a baby (back when you stayed in a week or so) when he was a teenager, and all his dad could cook were hamburgers and scrambled eggs. After the 3rd day, he and his brothers got out a cookbook and decided they could do a bit better on their own. And he's been cooking and baking ever since.