The stoopyd! Eet berrnz! (sex ed in Utah)

[Jessica]

See, I wouldn't call the sex I had before marriage "devastating." Sometimes it was bad. Sometimes it was boring. It was frequently awkward, and it could certainly complicate relationships.

Well see, you don't follow the teachings of a man who said parents should prefer to burry their children than to have them lose their virginity outside of marriage.

[marmalade]

I'm old enough to be all of you "almost 23s'" momma, and things have changed a LOT since I was in school in a very permissive area, but a prudish little island in the middle of teh ebil gheys and Haight Ashbury. In the 6th grade, the boys and girls were separated and we got the "Your body is going through changes" movie. Fuck, I'd already had my period for a year.

And trust me, we knew about sex, even if we weren't doing it. The first of my girlfriends lost her virginity in the 8th grade, but only one got knocked up (and she was the skinny, geeky genius you'd NEVER think could get laid).

As for me, early in the 9th grade (I was 14) three of my friends and I "ran away" to the area where a couple of us had moved from to see old friends and wound up at some parties with older kids (mostly seniors and kids who had just graduated, but were going to CC's or working). Long story short, I got shitfaced (I weighed about 100 lbs....didn't take much) and wound up in bed with this super good looking guy. His younger sister happened to be a classmate of the one cousin of mine left in high school (what are the chances?). At any rate, she called my cousin, who called my parents who were frantically looking for me. I was returned home in shame the next day and the following Monday, was forced into the stirrups because my mother (who hadn't even gone fundie yet) didn't believe me when I told her nothing happened. Nothing could. I am "tight" and to this day, that guy was the biggest I've ever seen in person. It wasn't going to happen. But no, a gyno had to verify that I still had a fucking hymen (and yeah, I was using tampons, so I lucked out there too, I guess).

Can't tell y'all when I lost the hymen because I didn't have any bleeding when I actually lost my virginity...at 17, going into my senior year with a guy I almost married (together 7 years). But I did get a nice slap from mommy dearest during an argument and I threw in that she was just jealous of me because I had a better sex life than she (I was just about to graduate high school at that point). What's ironic is that SHE was a promiscuous whore during WWII, losing HER virginity and dropping out of HS, pregnant (she lost it) when she was 16.

In summary, my mother was a hypocritical prude, my father wasn't going to talk to his little girl about SEX, and all I got was the hilarious 1950's puberty movie. I was jealous of the kids who got the banana/condom show. Or even better, Kitty's reinactment of Mean Girls. THAT would have been the best.

[silverspoons]

I live in Utah and my son is about to take sex ed starting next week. I did not grow up in Utah. I asked the teacher how many kids opt out and he said he has only had one kids in 5 years opt out. He teaches over 300 kids a year so one out of 1500 opting out isn't bad. I was very surprised because I live in a very conservative LDS neighborhood. I feel like it is 1980 sometimes but every mother I talked to sad that they would 100% have their child take sex ed.

I was curious what is taught and it is more then I learned about 25 years ago. The main difference is it does talk about alot about STD's. I thought the sex ed in Utah was fine after looking it over.

I really think what is taught at home is key. Doesnt mater what state you live in. I talk openly with my daughter and that is what is important. My husband talks to our son(I tried talking to my son & he was embaressed, it is not that I think it is a mom job for a daughter and a husband for a son and my poor husband has to buy like $25 worth of other items if he goes to the store to by tampons )

I think what needs to change is not making a teen feel like a criminal buying condoms, or other birth control. I'm not sure about other states but here every store in my area of Utah locks them up or they are behind the pharmacy. I wanted to buy go basic KY jelly and the pharmacy clerk ran and unlocked the case. She said she had a senior citizen wanting to buy condoms earlier that day and she said he felt embaressed asking, imagine how a teen feels. I understand about theft but what happened to those nice vending machines? I know they have them in big cities.

[JesusFightClub]

Hahaha, these stories made me remember the rather pitiful sex ed I got at school. We had A Very Special Talk one day. Two lessons, for the first half the boys and girls were separated, for the second half everyone was together again. General consensus was it was boring as shit.

I remember two things about it. One was a boy asking "What does blow job mean?" and another boy asking "So how do two men or two women do it together then?" (This was rural Scotland, pre internetz). The nurse they brought in to talk to us got really flustered. For the first she said "you will find out in good time but don't worry about that just now" and for the second "I am not allowed to tell you".

[DarkAnts]

Hahaha, these stories made me remember the rather pitiful sex ed I got at school. We had A Very Special Talk one day. Two lessons, for the first half the boys and girls were separated, for the second half everyone was together again. General consensus was it was boring as shit.

I remember two things about it. One was a boy asking "What does blow job mean?" and another boy asking "So how do two men or two women do it together then?" (This was rural Scotland, pre internetz). The nurse they brought in to talk to us got really flustered. For the first she said "you will find out in good time but don't worry about that just now" and for the second "I am not allowed to tell you".

Scotland where the men are men and the sheep run scared.

[DarkAnts]

I live in Utah and my son is about to take sex ed starting next week. I did not grow up in Utah. I asked the teacher how many kids opt out and he said he has only had one kids in 5 years opt out. He teaches over 300 kids a year so one out of 1500 opting out isn't bad. I was very surprised because I live in a very conservative LDS neighborhood. I feel like it is 1980 sometimes but every mother I talked to sad that they would 100% have their child take sex ed.

I was curious what is taught and it is more then I learned about 25 years ago. The main difference is it does talk about alot about STD's. I thought the sex ed in Utah was fine after looking it over.

I really think what is taught at home is key. Doesnt mater what state you live in. I talk openly with my daughter and that is what is important. My husband talks to our son(I tried talking to my son & he was embaressed, it is not that I think it is a mom job for a daughter and a husband for a son and my poor husband has to buy like $25 worth of other items if he goes to the store to by tampons )

I think what needs to change is not making a teen feel like a criminal buying condoms, or other birth control. I'm not sure about other states but here every store in my area of Utah locks them up or they are behind the pharmacy. I wanted to buy go basic KY jelly and the pharmacy clerk ran and unlocked the case. She said she had a senior citizen wanting to buy condoms earlier that day and she said he felt embaressed asking, imagine how a teen feels. I understand about theft but what happened to those nice vending machines? I know they have them in big cities.

What part of Utah are you in? I grew up in Layton and spent last year in West Jordan. I think that the sex ed program varies by teacher and school. The sex ed teacher (also health class teacher) I had was a molly mormon. He refused to actually talk about sex. There was another teacher who actually told her students about condoms and birth control. She still had a absence only slant but understood that some students were going to have sex. I agree that its important for parents to teach these things at home. There are people who refuse to tell their children the facts. They think that they can keep their children from having sex if they dont talk about it. There are teens now who have sex, get pregnant and don't understand how it happened.

[Whydoyouask]

FWIW I work in the school district, in what could be considered middle to upper middle class, in Arizona. Every friggin year we have at least one pregnant 8th grader at one particular school. More at the high schools but the 8th grade thing really rubs me the wrong way. Obviously what ever they are doing or NOT doing for 'sex ed' isn't working.

I'm close to my 20 yr reunion, we had one good health class in high school but by then it was too late, sex ed was also offered in 5th grade but honestly, that was a joke. That was all we got back in the 80's. My mother had no clue what was going on in her own house, she still has no clue what type of fool she is married to.

Kids are going to have sex, they are going to have sex EARLY... sheezez... give them the tools to be able to make educated decisions about this and give them to the tools to be able to deal with the consequences of their actions. Yes both boys and girls need to be able to deal with the decisions. Come on now people!

[AudreyE]

I had a pretty good sex ed curriculum in the late 80s and early 90s. My 9th grade teacher even brought in flavored condoms and dental dams, because you can get diseases from oral sex.