It's not Christmas until you bring up a rotting carcass.

[formergothardite]

Picture in your mind a dead carcass. It doesn't matter what kind of carcass you're picturing, but if you are unimaginative, I'll suggest a cow. So you have this carcass. It is probably on the ground (or buried in it), freshly dead. Now fast forward 2 days. The carcass is still there, but now it is full of life somehow. You start smelling it. That reeking odor? You don't think that comes from stuff that ceases to exist do you? Nay, that is not the smell of death. Billions of bacteria are now consuming that body, letting off foul smells that we like to call "death," and making the carcass quite a home for quite a few other creatures who will soon take up residence like a band of Slavs migrating into that apartment complex that was just built down the street (If they haven't already).

Now we will have a feast tomorrow, we will think it a bit more refined (we are using plates, after all), but it will be writhing in guests just the same, and we will leave better fed than when we came, enjoying dead things that are really life-givers.

I bet Steve Maxwell will read this and think "Damn! Why didn't I think of this?!"

For the rest of this cheerful Christmas post visit:

biblicalbeginnings.com/2011/12/death-end-no-way.html

[tropaka]

"band of slavs"?

[formergothardite]

I am not sure what he is meaning with that.

[ilovetchotchkes]

I think he means Slavs in the sense of people from the Slavic areas in europe, like Czechoslovakia..... Jerk.

[Marian the Librarian]

We Could. Not. make this stuff up if we tried!

[terranova]

Yes, because I consider all of my family and friends a bunch of writhing maggots...

Christmas at the Maxwells must seem like a party to these people.

[formergothardite]

I realized what he meant right after I posted that. I guess since he also doesn't think that slavery was bad, it is to be expected that he will make racist statements.

And I can't imagine trying to come up with a Christmas post and my mind going to a rotting carcass. There is something wrong with these people.

[NurseNell]

Holy Mother of God!!! And he's only 19, how sad. :doh:

[Guest Anonymous]

Fucking hell. I bet he's a load of fun to spend time with. Do you reckon his extended family backs away slowly? Or do they encourage this ghoulish nonsense?

ETA: Yeah, and he's a racist piece of crap. That seems to have a very high rate of comorbidity with being a fundie asshole.

[Guest Anonymous]

Fucking hell. I bet he's a load of fun to spend time with. Do you reckon his extended family backs away slowly? Or do they encourage this ghoulish nonsense?

ETA: Yeah, and he's a racist piece of crap. That seems to have a very high rate of comorbidity with being a fundie asshole.

Regular little ray of sunshine, ain't he?

[CanadianHippie]

Ok, I have a pretty sick mind at times. I mean I compared pigs and humans to answer a trivial pursuit question and came up with cannibal (the right answer). But seriously? This kid is beyond me.

For someone so concerned with maggots, he sure is full of them.

(And the Slav comment doesn't even deserve a response, really. All it does is prove what an ass he is.)

[onlyorganic]

We are all ready for our Christmas eve breakfast, which my gracious mother is going to cook for us and almost 40 guests. I am looking for to much bulging of walls in our mobile home tomorrow.

They must have a double-wide. 11 Kids in a Mobile Home is no small feat, even without 40 guests.

[debrand]

Christmas Adam just sounds pretentious to me. Really, you can't just call it the day before Christmas like everyone else?

A double wide can be 2500 sq feet. That is pretty large but not big enough for forty guests! :shock: Instead of bragging how gracious his mom is, he should offer to help.

The absurdity to our frail human minds has a hard time wrapping them around the idea that an end is not really an end. It is simply a beginning to a new reality, or, if you will, a continuing reality.

Actually, the human mind has more trouble comprehending that our lives end. That is why so many religions have a concept of the afterlife.

I'm not certain if I would appreciate being compared to a maggot by this young man. It sounds a bit contemptuous of his guests.

My older daughter could give him a run for his money in loving dark imagery. For goodness sakes, she asked me for a skull once :shock: But she would not compare guests out loud(and writing on his blog is the same thing as saying it outloud) to maggots. By the way, she would also help me with making breakfast.

We will be packed in, and bellying up like a million piranha surrounding a steak in a goldfish bowl. (sorry, it is late at night, and I know, my humor is stupid)

It doesn't sound as if he is looking forward to his guests, which is all right. I can't blame him for not wanting forty people packed into his home. Somehow, he manages to tie this all into Jesus instead of just saying, "I hate having forty people in my house."

[clarinetpower]

If he'd grown up in another family, this kid would totally be a Hot Topic Goth.

[Sinister Rouge]

If he'd grown up in another family, this kid would totally be a Hot Topic Goth.

Ha! I thought that too! Or Emo. Are there any Emo's left or have they all turned into Hipsters by now?

[ladypuglover]

From the thread title I thought it was a passage from the movie Babe. Christmas means CARNAGE!!!!11!ninety!

oKXV-XQzUrY

[gardenvarietycitizen]

If he'd grown up in another family, this kid would totally be a Hot Topic Goth.

...was gonna say, he should just step back, forgive himself, and then just go INDULGE in some death metal. :D

[jaelh]

my dog would LOVE to find a carcass. of any type.

[clibbyjo]

my dog would LOVE to find a carcass. of any type.

I ran over an already dead deer the other day. :auto-mysterymachine: Let's just say my dogs were more than happy to clean off the van.

[Avalondaughter]

I was expecting this post to be about some kind of vegetarian Christmas manifesto! :lol:

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

I think he means Slavs in the sense of people from the Slavic areas in europe, like Czechoslovakia..... Jerk.

<---- Well this Slav, who lived in section 8 housing as an immigrant kid, and is now working on my second Ivy League degree....would like to tell his ignorant ass to suck it.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

my dog would LOVE to find a carcass. of any type.

Your comment INSTANTLY reminded me of one of the funnier (but kinda tasteless!) things I ever read on USENET, someone is having a garden party in a few hours but the dogs have found an elk carcass in the yard and... won't leave it for anything. What to do?

Enjoy: http://www.jerrypournelle.com/reports/j ... inelk.html

[NurseNell]

I ran over an already dead deer the other day. :auto-mysterymachine: Let's just say my dogs were more than happy to clean off the van.

Does anyone remember the Judge Judy episode where one sister was suing another, one had borrowed the other's car and hit a deer with it. They were from West Virginia and really had the accents to go along with it. One sister took the dead deer home and was insulted when the other didn't want the venison from it. As the not wanting the venison sister said, "Oh my God, that deer already had rigor mortis and you want me to eat it", or words to that effect. I remember the rigor mortis statement. It was hysterical.

Found it:

iUe_T6Z8iqA

[Crackedeggs]

If he'd grown up in another family, this kid would totally be a Hot Topic Goth.

This. That is exactly what I thought, that he sounded like one of my daughter's exes.

[jaelh]

Enjoy: http://www.jerrypournelle.com/reports/j ... inelk.html

You win 1 internetz