Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 49

[GreyhoundFan]

[fraurosena]

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[47of74]

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[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Tripping On Tortoises"

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I’m always annoyed when I see people refer to Senator Mitch McConnell as a turtle. It’s not fair. He’s a tortoise. Turtles and tortoises are different species of reptiles. In the water, turtles can be very quick. Tortoises, on the other hand, are land animals and they tend to be very slow. The children’s tale about the race between the tortoise and the hare isn’t about a turtle and a rabbit. As a reptile lover and a former zookeeper (did you know that?), I take great offense and umbrage when Mitch McConnell is called a turtle.

A turtle would never talk or move as slowly as Mitch, but a tortoise would. It’s hard to gauge a sea turtle’s lifespan but marine biologists believe it’s comparable to a human lifespan. Jonathan, a Seychelles giant tortoise, hatched in 1832 and is now 191 years old. His caretakers at St. Helena say he’s lost his sight and sense of smell, but still has excellent hearing and is still mating. It sounds like Jonathan is doing better than Mitch and having a better social life than I am. I’ve read that Jonathan is a bit of a player.

Mitch McConnell has been falling down a lot. He froze a couple days ago during a routine press conference. He stared blankly off into the distance for about 40 seconds. His caretakers, other Senate Republicans, were afraid he was having a stroke, but he returned soon after to laugh, say he was alright, and eat some lettuce, though he didn’t explain the freeze.

Mitch is old. He’s 81 years old which makes him the fourth oldest member of the United States Senate behind 91-year-old Diane Feinstein, 89-year-old Chuck Grassley, and 81-year-old Bernie Sanders. The average age of senators is 64 while it’s 57 for the House.

There’s an argument that it’s time for the younger generation to take over, but I’ll take 81-year-old Bernie over 41-year-old Matt Gaetz, 49-year-old Marjorie Taylor Greene, and 36-year-old Lauren Boebert any day of the week.

Republicans love to say that President Biden is too old while Kentuckians reelected Mitch just two years ago and Iowans reelected Chuck Grassley just last year. But then again, Republicans are hypocrites. Donald Trump is 77 which isn’t that much younger than 80-year-old Joe Biden.

Are these politicians too old? I don’t know. Until recently, Mitch McConnell was very effective. He was very capable of stealing seats Supreme Court seats from Democrats. He was very effective in blocking Obama’s judicial nominees, at placing 234 Trump nominees on federal benches, and in helping Donald Trump give himself and other billionaire assholes a huge tax cut.

Is it everyday racism or just old man racism when Mitch referred to Blacks as black voters and Whites as American voters? I don’t care how old you are, but when you faux pas and say that kind of racist shit, it’s time to go home.

Mitch says he plans to serve out his full term as leader of Senate Republicans which is through 2024. He’s up for reelection in 2026, but this should be his last term. He fell down recently at an event in a hotel hitting his head and fracturing his ribs. He also fell down recently at his home and fractured his shoulder. Mitch needs to resign.

I also believe Democratic Senator Diane Feinstein should resign.

I don’t think there should be an age limit in politics but when elected officials start showing signs of cognitive inabilities, it’s time to go. Leave now while you can still retain a bit of dignity. You don’t want to be like Rudy Giuliani, who was once respected but now holds press conferences in the parking lots of fertilizer stores next to dildo shops farting and screaming about mythical election fraud while his hair is dripping motor oil.

Politicians who refuse to leave while they’re still ahead of the game will never have as much grace and dignity as Jonathan the Tortoise.

 

[GreyhoundFan]

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[thoughtful]

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There’s an argument that it’s time for the younger generation to take over, but I’ll take 81-year-old Bernie over 41-year-old Matt Gaetz, 49-year-old Marjorie Taylor Greene, and 36-year-old Lauren Boebert any day of the week

I say this all the time. I want to see the evil, stupid and useless people gone, whatever their age.

[GreyhoundFan]

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[47of74]

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"Server Sleeps With Fishes"

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Donald Trump made a lot of noise about Hillary Clinton’s private server in 2016. He even asked Russia to hack into it (they instead hacked into the servers of the Democratic National Committee and the Clinton Campaign). So it’s rich and juicy irony that one of Special Counsel Jack Smith’s charges against Trump is for him trying to delete content on his…wait for it…private server.

The new charges are in the case of illegally possessing classified documents. The new indictment includes extra charges of obstruction and willful retention of national defense information. What Trump did was ask one of his maintenance guys at Mar-a-Lago to delete security footage to prevent it from being provided to a federal grand jury.

Trump is alleged to have asked for this after the FBI visited Mar-a-Lago in June of last year to collect classified documents he took with him from the White House. Prosecutors are accusing Trump of scheming with his valet, Walt Nauto (who was already a co-defendant), and a Mar-a-Lago property manager, Carlos De Oliveira, to conceal the footage from federal investigators after they issued a subpoena for it. That is obstruction of justice.

Prosecutors got the video and it shows Nauta moving boxes of documents in and out of a storage room, including a day before an FBI visit to the property. The indictment claims the boxes were moved at Trump’s direction.

According to the indictment, Nauta met with De Oliveira on June 25, 2022, at Mar-a-Lago, where they went to a security guard booth where surveillance video is displayed on monitors and walked with a flashlight through a tunnel where the storage room was located, observing and pointing out surveillance cameras.

Two days later, De Oliveira walked through a basement tunnel with an unidentified Trump employee, listed in the indictment as “Employee No. 4,” to an audio closet.

According to prosecutors, De Oliveira told the employee, who was the director of IT at Mar-a-Lago, that “THE BOSS” wanted the server deleted like they’re a mafia family, not the E. Street Band. These aren’t Good Fellas. These are Dumb Fellas. When the employee responded that he would not know how to do that and did not believe he would have the right to do that, De Oliveira insisted and pushed that “THE BOSS” wanted the server deleted and asked, “What are we going to do?” What you are going to do, Mr. De Oliveira, is go to prison.

According to the indictment, De Oliveira asked the IT employee how long the server retained security footage. He was told it was approximately 45 days. De Oliveira also said that the conversation “should remain between the two of them.”

During a voluntary interview with the FBI last January, prosecutors say, De Oliveira lied when he said he “never saw nothing” with regard to boxes at Mar-a-Lago. Who did NOT say he “never saw nothing” was Employee No. 4, who is apparently working with prosecutors.

Donald Trump is poison to people who work for him. Ask Michael Cohen. Even Trump’s lawyers get into legal trouble by doing Trump’s bidding. As Rudy Giuliani. If his lawyers have to hire lawyers, then why would a property manager want to get involved with Trump fuckery? Of course Donald Trump is paying for De Oliveira’s attorneys. Or should I say, Trump’s supporters are paying for De Oliveira’s attorneys.

Donald Trump has spent over $40 million of his supporters’ money on legal fees. But even if Trump is using these funds or his own for his employee’s legal fees, he doesn’t have a right to control those attorneys or tell the employee how to defend himself. But in Trump World, as we learned from the Jan. 6 House investigation, Trump will pay attorney fees to keep mouths shut and to control witnesses.

Trump’s next defense will be that they didn’t obstruct justice since they only tried and were too incompetent to succeed. It’s coming.

 

[GreyhoundFan]

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[47of74]

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"Intelligent Congress?"

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If the truth is out there, it’s not going to be discovered by this Republican-controlled House of Representatives. This is something that Tom Delonge needs to understand without letting his sympathies and desire to believe cloud his judgment.

Last week, the House Oversight Subcommittee on national security hosted hearings on UFOs, also known as unidentified aerial phenomena (UAPs) where such as former intelligence officer David Grusch and former Navy pilots David Fravor and Ryan Graves testified that they had seen aliens.

Tom DeLonge, the guitarist and vocalist for Blink-182 and Angels and Airwaves has been pursuing proof that Aliens Exist (the title of one Blink song) for decades. He even created a company that has a division for studying fringe science. Now, because of last week’s hearing, bass player and co-lead vocalist of Blink says “Tom was right” at every show of Blink-182’s current reunion tour.

Tom posted a photo on Instagram stating, “Tom was right, aliens fucking exist.” The caption read, “The UFO Hearings today made history. I am so proud of the three witnesses today that blew the lid off the UFO secrecy that has been intact for decades.” He also wrote, “Remember that we at To The Stars changed the world.”

His company released three declassified videos recorded by Navy pilots showing alleged UFOs and in 2019, the U.S. military confirmed the footage to be authentic.

But not so fast, Tom.

David Grusch, the former intelligence officer and so-called whistleblower testified that the government has debris collected from crashed alien spacecraft and federal retrieval teams have collected biological remains from alien bodies. He also testified he’s interviewed dozens of people who claim they’ve been injured by UFOs. Oh my god! That’s amazing…but wait.

Finding people who claim they’ve seen aliens, and even people who swear they’ve been abducted isn’t new or difficult. People have written books about being abducted and experimented on. And just like all those people with claims of seeing aliens, Grusch doesn’t have evidence to support his claims.

Tom needs to slow his roll. The hearings did NOT prove that aliens exist any more than other hearings have proved that Joe Biden is taking bribes from foreign companies through his son, Hunter. Tom may have been studying UFOs and searching for the existence of aliens for years, but he may need to study Congress.

And “UFO” stands for “UNIDENTIFIED flying objects.” Unidentified does not mean aliens. When the government says footage of a UFO is authenticated, they’re authenticating that they can’t identify it. They’re not authenticating that it’s aliens buzzing around over our heads and playing chicken with military aircraft.

A 2021 Gallup poll showed that 40 percent of Americans, without any evidence, believe that some UFOs are alien spacecraft, but keep in mind that nearly 70 percent believe in angels, 66 percent believe Jesus rose from the grave, 25 percent believe God supports their favorite football team, 12 percent believe lizard people run the government, 30 percent believe in Bigfoot, and 61 percent of Republicans believe Trump won in 2020. We believe in a lot of shit without any actual physical proof. And why would God root for the Las Vegas Raiders? C’mon, man. He would be a Saints fan.

For some of those UFOs to be alien spacecraft, they would have to travel trillions of miles through space to get here and evade every satellite orbiting our planet. It’s hard to go outside and scratch your ass without it ending up on Google Earth. This is why I also don’t believe in Bigfoot. We would have proof by now. But I do believe that if lizard people had to choose a government to secretly run, it would be ours.

And if the government is hiding proof that aliens exist and are visiting us, then it’s pretty convenient that they’re only visiting the United States and not other nations where governments wouldn’t be so secretive. Do you really believe Pakistan could conceal proof of alien life? It’s like trying to find proof of President Biden having corruption in Ukraine when it doesn’t exist.

There are mysteries out there and things that can’t be explained, but you can’t explain the unknown simply by claiming it’s aliens, vampires, bigfoots, lizard people, Mary Poppins, or Komodo dragons with wings.

The hearing in the House of Representatives concluded as most hearings in Congress do, without proving a thing. I love Blink-182 and Tom DeLonge’s guitar playing. I saw them in concert about two decades ago, but I’m not trusting them for information on science.

Believing what you hear in a Congressional hearing is like believing what you hear on Fox News or at a Trump rally. The truth is out there, but you’re not going to find it at a Blink-182 concert.

 

[GreyhoundFan]