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Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 49


GreyhoundFan

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Continued from here:

 

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"Expunge"

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House Republicans are talking about expunging Trump’s two impeachments while also discussing impeaching President Joe Biden.

Trump was impeached twice while the Senate failed to convict him either time. His first impeachment was over his extortion attempt of Ukrainian Pesident Volodymyr Zeleneskyy. Trump was withholding military aid, legislated by Congress, in exchange for political dirt on his main rival, Joe Biden, and his son Hunter. The military aid was in the small likelihood that Russia might someday invade Ukraine and Trump viewed Biden as the one candidate who had a small, although unlikely, chance of defeating him. Keep in mind that it’s Democrats who Republicans say is weaponizing the government against their political opponents.

The second impeachment was over Trump’s attempt to remain in power as an unelected Oompa-Loompa fascist dictator by instigating a white nationalist insurrection attempt and an attack on Congress while it was certifying the Electoral College, a constitutionally-mandated obligation, on January 6, 2021.

The reasons to impeach President Biden is because some people have said things they can’t prove about corruption and son is a scumbag who kept photos of his penis on a laptop.

A president must commit a high crime or misdemeanor to be impeached. That’s not my opinion, it’s in the Constitution. There is zero evidence that President Biden has ever committed a crime despite what you might have read in a Steve Kelley cartoon or in another Steve Kelley cartoon. The argument from the goons is that it’s illegal for a family member of a president to engage in any foreign business deals unless that president is a Republican. Maybe that’s in the Constitution somewhere and I just missed it. Lord knows I’m not as good at journalisming as Steve Kelley.

Even though Republicans have a slight majority in the House, they may not be able to pass a bill expunging Trump’s two impeachments but they could probably pass a bill saying something or other against Critical Race Theory and what they view as rewriting history.

There are several Republicans in tight districts, as in, those districts either voted for Biden or came close to. They view voting to expunge Trump’s impeachments as a ridiculous blood oath they don’t have the capital to spend on.

Republicans are actually squabbling over who gets to write the bill to impeach President Biden. Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene have both written bills, and MTG says Bobo copied hers and called her a “little bitch” on the House floor over it. MTG even got kicked out of the Goon Caucus over it. In the movies, when two villains are arguing over who gets to kill the good guy, that’s usually when the hero escapes. This is the Gang that can’t Impeach Straight.

But now matter how Republicans try to rewrite history, Joe Biden is a legitimate good guy. You can’t impeach a president because he’s unpopular or you disagree with his programs. You can’t impeach him because his son is a fuckup or even if the kid’s corrupt. You can’t impeach a president over allegations and accusations that don’t carry any proof or evidence. And even if Joe Biden received money from a foreign government while he was out of office, you still can’t impeach him over it as that’s NOT illegal. Donald Trump is doing it right now and he did it WHILE he was president (sic). This is true.

There is not a rule in the House saying it can’t expunge impeachments and there are currenty two bills on it. One is by Marjorie Taylor Greene, basically saying Trump was correct to try to get dirt on Biden since he’s so corrupt (without any evidence) so that’s legal grounds to expunge the first impeachments.

The second bill is by  Elise Stefanik and it heavily implies that Trump won the 2020 election and it was stolen from him, so it was OK for him to instigate an insurrection, so let’s expunge that second impeachment too.

Republicans might be able to expunge the two impeachments but it won’t rewrite history. Years after President Andrew Johnson was impeached for firing a cabinet official, the Supreme Court ruled he had every right to fire a member of his cabinet, but the impeachment still stands. Trump will forever be the only president to be impeached twice, unless he steals the White House in 2024 and gets impeached twice again.

Expunging an empeachment is ridiculous. Even Democrats didn’t try to expunge Bill Clinton’s impeachment when they had the power, and that one was over lying about a blowjob.

Go ahead, Republicans and expunge Trump’s to valid impeachments, but the thing here is, and it’s the real kicker…you can’t expunge indictments. And after that, you won’t be able to expunge guilty verdicts and prison sentences.

Have a nice day, Republicans.

 

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"Marjorie's Obsession"

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I wonder if the reason Marjorie Taylor Greene’s husband left her is because the role-playing as Hunter Biden was becoming a bit too much for him.

I have to ask that question because Marjorie Taylor Greene is obsessed with Hunter Biden. Sure, every Republican has been totally preoccupied with Hunter since before his father won the election, defeating Donald Trump in what the Department of Homeland Security calls the “most secure election in American history.” You would think that with this obsession Hunter occupied a place in his father’s administration.

Donald Trump had his daughter, Ivanka, and skinny idiot son-in-law Jared Kushner as appointed unpaid advisers during his presidency (sic). Neither one could get a security clearance without the president (sic) overruling the FBI’s multiple rejections. Javanka had zero experience or qualifications for a job in a presidential administration, yet there they were like a turtle on a fence. How’d that turtle get on top of the fence post? Maybe that turtle’s father-in-law owned the fence post, or maybe it was gifted to him by Vladimir Putin. Who knows? Although that turtle could probably get a security clearance a lot easier than Jared. While Javanka were unpaid useless advisers, they made hundreds of millions of dollars from foreign business deals during their time in the Trump White House (sic). Jared worked closely with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia on arms deals and excusing his murder of a Saudi Washington Post reporter, and when he left the Trump White House, the Crown Prince gave Jared $2 billion as an “investment” in a new business project. Jared is also responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths during the COVID-19 pandemic by using his position in the Trump presidency (sic) to withhold medical supplies from blue states.

Are Republicans in Congress investigating Jared Kushner? Of course not. Instead, they’re investigating Hunter Biden who does NOT have any role in his father’s administration. Republicans have spent the past three years howling about Hunter with all those howls based on rumors, innuendos, debunked lies, and all sorts of various bullshit with most of it stemming from Hunter having foreign business deals. Meanwhile, we KNOW Jared took money from foreign governments. Hell, we KNOW Donald Trump is CURRENTLY taking money from foreign governments. Are we investigating Donald Trump’s business LIV golf deal with Saudi Arabia? That was rhetorical, but no.

In case you haven’t noticed, Donald Trump is a former president (sic) and he’s currently running for president again (sic). Where are the Republican investigations over this? Oh yeah, that’s right. Republicans are too busy investigating Hunter Biden and defending Donald Trump’s law-breaking to investigating Donald Trump’s corruption. Republicans would rather investigate pretend corruption of Democrats than actual right-here-right-now-in-the-real-world Republican corruption.

So yes, Republicans are obsessed with Hunter Biden, but even as locked-onto Hunter as they are, none of them are displaying photos of Hunter Biden’s penis during congressional hearings, except for Marjorie. Most of them are just upset that Twitter wouldn’t allow The New York Post to tweet photos of Hunter’s Penis.

And we thought it was bad when Donald Trump ONLY talked about his penis during a Republican debate (or that time Marco Rubio talked about Trump’s penis during a campaign event. Hey, Nikki Haley laughed). THANK GOD there are no photos of that.

When the Democrats controlled the House, they removed Marjorie Taylor Greene from her committee assignments because she spread antisemitic conspiracy theories and supported death threats against her colleagues. When the Republicans took control, the worst Speaker in the history of the House, Kevin McCarthy (whose first 14 attempts to win the job were, no pun intended…FLACCID), put her on the House Oversight and Accountability Committee, where like that turtle on the fence and Javanka in the White House, she does not belong. And proving she does not belong there, she used her allotted time during a hearing of the House Oversight and Accountability Committee this week to display pictures of Hunter’s penis.

Do you recall a couple years ago when during a hearing about Trump obstructing justice during the Mueller investigation, former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski got upset when a Democrat mentioned that Santa Claus didn’t exist? Corey, who was fired from the Trump Campaign for grabbing a reporter and later disassociated entirely after being accused of groping a campaign donor, scolded a Democrat for saying Santa doesn’t exist because Corey’s four kids were watching. I’m sure that’s true because what child doesn’t want to watch his scumbag father lie and be a total, no pun intended…WANKER in front of Congress?

Saying Santa Claus doesn’t exist upsets Republicans but showing off Hunter Biden’s penis, not so much. Maybe if the photos were of Santa’s penis, then they’d get upset. Santa Claus does exist and to prove it, here’s a photo of his dick. Ho ho ho. That’s how they do it on the North, no pun intended…POLE.

MTG showed off pictures of Hunter’s ding dong arguing they were needed to prove he was guilty of tax fraud. It is widely known that people who wear pants never commit tax fraud. Now dudes, in kilts, you gotta watch out for those guys, but pants-wearing men, they’re alright.

Marjorie got the pics from the laptop a Delaware computer repair guy stole from Hunter and gave to Rudy Giuliani, who’s also a, no pun intended…PRICK. That laptop contained lots of nude selfies and homemade porn.

The night before the hearing on Newsmax, MTG said, “This is actually the evidence that I believe the American people deserve to see.” Evidence to what, that Hunter Biden has a penis and it needs to be investigated? To be constantly bringing up Hunter’s penis, the Republicans’ case against the Bidens must be, no pun intended…LIMP.

Before Fox News fired Tucker Carlson, who is a, no pun intended…KNOB, he showed a photo from the laptop of Hunter being straddled by two women and expressed outrage that there was a poodle in the corner watching the sexual activities. Can we, pardon the pun…NAIL hunter for animal abuse? That dog is probably still in counseling for what it saw that day.

Sean Hannity, who is a, no pun intended…TOOL, tweeted a video from the laptop of a naked Hunter on a waterslide.

All this brings us many questions: What do pictures of Hunter’s wee-wee and his sex life have to do with him not paying taxes? Is there a dick tax I’m not aware of, and if so, are we taxed by inches or girth? Are we taxed by usage? If so, I should probably be expecting a refund soon. And, if cocaine led to Hunter having threesomes and sex on waterslides, why did he quit? Also, when you’re naked on a waterslide, how does your butt not stick to the slide? We might need to appoint a special counsel to get to the, no pun intended…BOTTOM of these questions.

When Melania Trump, who’s married to a total, no pun intended…JERKOFF, stole a speech from Michelle Obama, Democrats didn’t find it necessary to show off her nude photos at congressional hearings, and they’re not, no pun intended…HARD to find.

If Marjorie can’t contain her, no pun intended…BONER for Hunter’s boner, Kevin may have to give her the, no pun intended…SHAFT.

In all seriousness though, Marjorie Taylor Greene is a huge dick. OK, I intended that one.

Creative note: For the title of this blog, I was Googling titles of romance/erotica novels and softcore porn and inadvertently found a lot of movies I think I want to watch.

Also, I wrote and roughed out this cartoon three days ago and sat on it…no, wait. I shelved it. That’s better.

 

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