Personal experience of trying to be Christian but it didn't work

[Katzchen24]

Following from some interesting discussions in one of the JRod threads (number 287) I thought I'd put this here. I went to an Anglican Church for a little while as a child with Sunday School etc but for unknown reasons we stopped going (in fact, I'm not even sure why we started going). That was my last experience until I met and married my ex-husband. He was a firm Catholic, but with an excellent talent for not thinking about the things he disagreed with like divorce and birth control. We started attending our local Anglican Church, with a female reverend and all was good. I enjoyed the services but the belief just wasn't there. Over the years, I've occasionally gone to church because I find there is a certain degree of comfort from going through the service. But the belief just isn't there and there's no amount of trying that will convince me otherwise.

I read here because I find religion fascinating. There are so many kind and loving and inclusive ways of having faith, and it's constantly baffling to me how ultra rich, ultra rigid conservatives like Joel Osteen, Greg Locke, Doug Wilson, and the many other nasty assoles that are covered in FJ can be seen as good examples of Christians. These people are so  filled with hate and fear and lust for power, and I don't understand why you would want that for yourself. 

Now I try to be a decent human being (with mixed success) because that's how I see our shared world surviving.