Webster4Eva 10: If Alyssa Doesn't Record It, Then Does It Really Exist?

[SassyPants]

Back to the dad kid date…why do they call it that? I get the “date your spouse” line that some religious folks ( and others)voice, but what’s the rub for dating your kid? I don’t get it. What does dating daddy impart on a 5 YO? What wisdom is gained or skills/knowledge advanced? How about try a new skill, class, sport…with either parent? And why does any kid under the age of 16 need to practice dating? Or wearing makeup for an event or activity? Again, dating your parent is weird. What about spending individual time? Is it that rare in these groups? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I have a lot of empathy for fundie women when it comes to weight. I know how bad it is in the mainstream world for women. I imagine it’s just as bad and even worse in some circles. I’m betting in the Bates circles, being thin is a huge priority. I imagine the pressure to “bounce back” after each baby is strong. I’ve definitely heard Kelly talk negatively about her weight. Which is unfortunate. She shouldn’t feel bad about herself because of her weight. She should feel bad about herself because she parentified her children and didn’t prepare most of them for adulthood. 

[SassyPants]

25 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I have a lot of empathy for fundie women when it comes to weight. I know how bad it is in the mainstream world for women. I imagine it’s just as bad and even worse in some circles. I’m betting in the Bates circles, being thin is a huge priority. I imagine the pressure to “bounce back” after each baby is strong. I’ve definitely heard Kelly talk negatively about her weight. Which is unfortunate. She shouldn’t feel bad about herself because of her weight. She should feel bad about herself because she parentified her children and didn’t prepare most of them for adulthood. 

I just can’t imagine how lousy both KJ and M really feel. I know KJ has had health issues, including hospitalizations and surgeries in the recent past, and  we all know that as we age our bodies just naturally do not work as well; parts age and sometimes breakdown. Now add the additional wear that all the pregnancies inflicted, yikes.  Yesterday, we helped our son move and today my lower back is protesting. And I only carried 2 babies. For what KJ and M’s bodies have endured, I think they look bloody fantastic. Some mornings I feel like I’m 100. Thankfully, I usually feel better within a short period of time.

Also, with such large families, you know their was very little time for these woman to focus on their own health and wellbeing along the way, especially when these families talk about JOY.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I remember a few years ago Sierra of Duggar adjacent fame was extolling the need to "date your daughter" and all I could think was, "you mean have one on one time and attention for them?"  Fundies are ridiculous. Spending time with your kids so you actually know who they are as people is not something they've invented (since they rarely do it).  I'm pretty sure it's the norm in most non crazy families.

[Nothing if not critical]

Just now, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I remember a few years ago Sierra of Duggar adjacent fame was extolling the need to "date your daughter" and all I could think was, "you mean have one on one time and attention for them?"  Fundies are ridiculous. Spending time with your kids so you actually know who they are as people is not something they've invented (since they rarely do it).  I'm pretty sure it's the norm in most non crazy families.

My husband spent three hours one-on-one time with our daughter this weekend, helping her with her maths homework. I appreciate that far more than him taking her out on fancy dates with flowers and stuff. I mean sure, he's taken her to the movies as well, or to a restaurant. I frequently go on long walks with her, so we have time to talk, and tomorrow I'll take her to a museum she's been wanting to visit for a while. There are so many ways to spend quality time with your kids, and none of them involve creepy pseudo-dating.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

I wonder if Alyssa likes the idea because she didn’t get much one-on-one time with Gil. Maybe she doesn’t quite grasp that going out to a nice restaurant doesn’t have to be called a date.

[Jackie3]

11 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I wonder if Alyssa likes the idea because she didn’t get much one-on-one time with Gil. Maybe she doesn’t quite grasp that going out to a nice restaurant doesn’t have to be called a date.

Does he take the kids to nice restaurants? That, at least, would be a new experience and educational. In the video I saw with Allie, he offered her a choice and she chose McD's. I think they went through the drivethrough and ate in the back of the car.

While I realize this was her birthday and her choice, I suspect the novelty and glamour of a nice restaurant would have thrilled her. Not an expensive place, but maybe a place with tablecloths? Or a nice Italian place? Or trying a new cuisine, like Japanese, where she could eat with those kiddie chopsticks? She'd be bursting with excitement and importance when she came back to tell her sisters about it.

[raayx01]

3 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

Does he take the kids to nice restaurants? That, at least, would be a new experience and educational. In the video I saw with Allie, he offered her a choice and she chose McD's. I think they went through the drivethrough and ate in the back of the car.

While I realize this was her birthday and her choice, I suspect the novelty and glamour of a nice restaurant would have thrilled her. Not an expensive place, but maybe a place with tablecloths? Or a nice Italian place? Or trying a new cuisine, like Japanese, where she could eat with those kiddie chopsticks? She'd be bursting with excitement and importance when she came back to tell her sisters about it.

She is her mother's daughter. The girls usually pick McDonalds or chick fil a. He has to save that money for Alyssa who gets to go to a nice restaurant in a floor length gown.

[Jackie3]

3 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Back to the dad kid date…why do they call it that? I get the “date your spouse” line that some religious folks ( and others)voice, but what’s the rub for dating your kid? I don’t get it. What does dating daddy impart on a 5 YO? 

They are trying to teach Allie something they think is vitally important--how to choose a man. They are trying to teach her that she should pick one who treats her well. Not a bad message, I suppose, but it's also manipulative. They don't want someone driving up on a motorcycle and showing up at the door in jeans with wild hair, and they're trying to prevent it by having a well-groomed John show up in a suit with flowers in hand.

It's really about control. They are SO worried about who this little girl will date, that they are starting early with the indoctrination. They can't wait till an appropriate age, it's too important! In contrast, other people are SO interested in their kids getting a good education that they start reading/teaching to them early on. It's all about priorities.

I'm afraid they dont' realize that kids will do what kids want to do. If anything, a rebellious young Webster, starting to date, will know exactly how to piss off her parents.

8 minutes ago, raayx01 said:

She is her mother's daughter. The girls usually pick McDonalds or chick fil a. 

Of course, most kids will, if that's all they know.

That's why there'd be lots of fun in exposing her to something new. How do you use chopsticks? What's that red thing? Do you want to try this? What language are they speaking? Let's watch him make the dumplings. Do you want to try a breadstick? What's a gnocci?

Way more fun than another languid McD's meal in the back of the car. Healthier, too. If I recall correctly, they had McD's and then they bought some kind of sugary smoothie. They both looked so sleepy and lethargic after eating all that crap.

Edited January 31, 2022 by Jackie3

[RosyDaisy]

58 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

They are trying to teach Allie something they think is vitally important--how to choose a man.

It's not vitally important to teach a 5 year old how to choose a man.  She's just a little kid.

[Jackie3]

34 minutes ago, RosyDaisy said:

It's not vitally important to teach a 5 year old how to choose a man.  She's just a little kid.

I know! I said, "something they think is vitally important." I think it's vitally important for five-year olds to learn to play, explore and learn basic social skills.

[SassyPants]

If it taught the 5 YO anything, it’s that men like women to wear lipstick and have curly hair. I just want to take a poll of all these fundie mamas who push their little kids into adult roles and experiences about how many of their kids can adequately wipe their own butts. It cracks me up the skills they think are important to teach. By dating a parent it teaches a youngster (not a young adult), but a little kid how to pick a partner with a favorable character? Again, can little Lexi wipe her own butt, place her dirty clothes in the hamper and brush her teeth without prompting? Is she polite? Does she look people in the face/eyes when she speaks when them? Is she kind to people different from her? Has every met anyone who is other? Date your parent, shrugs.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I always assumed the best way to teach a child what to look for in a partner is by modeling it. Be a good person, be a good partner, and treat others well. 

[Fundielandobserver]

8 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

 

While I realize this was her birthday and her choice, I suspect the novelty and glamour of a nice restaurant would have thrilled her. Not an expensive place, but maybe a place with tablecloths? Or a nice Italian place? Or trying a new cuisine, like Japanese, where she could eat with those kiddie chopsticks? She'd be bursting with excitement and importance when she came back to tell her sisters about it.

Alyssa is not interested in any experiences! Carlin did take  Layla for her birthday to the aquarium and the Sing2 movie though . We have seen Alyssa stories and i dont think the webster girls have been or she would have posted . 

[artdecades]

Alyssa’s video in her stories is weirding me out. she’s doing a finger painting craft with one of the kids and The kid (Lexie? Allie?) is like this through the whole thing. No giggles, smiles, or chatting with her mom. She is just still and stone faced. 

 

[Mrs Ms]

1 hour ago, artdecades said:

Alyssa’s video in her stories is weirding me out. she’s doing a finger painting craft with one of the kids and The kid (Lexie? Allie?) is like this through the whole thing. No giggles, smiles, or chatting with her mom. She is just still and stone faced. 

 

Meh, that is the face one of my kids has for the entire length of any craft project. Just utter concentration because my kid LOVES crafting. And is very careful about spillages and cleaning up afterwards (also very somber looking) and then lights UP talking all about it once done. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

That little girl looks like a very young Natalie Wood.

[SassyPants]

And you know that Alyssa is cringing thinking about the mess that this being made that she will need to clean up. Ask me how I know…All of this stuff is just for content, cha-Ching. 

[CaptainFunderpants]

13 hours ago, Mrs Ms said:

Meh, that is the face one of my kids has for the entire length of any craft project. Just utter concentration because my kid LOVES crafting. And is very careful about spillages and cleaning up afterwards (also very somber looking) and then lights UP talking all about it once done. 

As a hardcore crafter with a strong gameface, this just made my day.

I'll shout-out the Joann's seasonal kid's crafting kits. Would recommend having a glue gun and a variety of embroidery floss on hand for enhancement, but I loooove making them. Super fun and really cheap; they're usually 40% off and then go to 60% off, but on a $3 crafting kit, if I love it I'll get it at the 40. If I'm 50/50 I'll wait until it's 60.

Joann's also sells a pen-like glue gun that's much less unwieldy than a standard glue gun. I think it's $20, but rarely on sale so you can use a 50% off coupon on it, thus $10. Same goes for the embroidery floss variety packs; they're rarely on sale, so you can use a 50% coupon. I swear by and will only use DMC, but I've heard that other brands are fine as well.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 minutes ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

As a hardcore crafter with a strong gameface, this just made my day.

I'll shout-out the Joann's seasonal kid's crafting kits. Would recommend having a glue gun and a variety of embroidery floss on hand for enhancement, but I loooove making them. Super fun and really cheap; they're usually 40% off and then go to 60% off, but on a $3 crafting kit, if I love it I'll get it at the 40. If I'm 50/50 I'll wait until it's 60.

Joann's also sells a pen-like glue gun that's much less unwieldy than a standard glue gun. I think it's $20, but rarely on sale so you can use a 50% off coupon on it, thus $10. Same goes for the embroidery floss variety packs; they're rarely on sale, so you can use a 50% coupon. I swear by and will only use DMC, but I've heard that other brands are fine as well.

You've inspired me to pull out my unfinished cross stitch projects.  I am also hardcore team DMC.

[neuroticcat]

The craft story looked to me like they were going to do a project,a nod the project was the goal (vs creative play or art). It was very controlled. I get it, because kids crafts are so messy, but it’s also hard to watch as a parent of young kids who prioritizes discovery over result.

[Mrs Ms]

2 hours ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

As a hardcore crafter with a strong gameface, this just made my day.

I'll shout-out the Joann's seasonal kid's crafting kits. Would recommend having a glue gun and a variety of embroidery floss on hand for enhancement, but I loooove making them. Super fun and really cheap; they're usually 40% off and then go to 60% off, but on a $3 crafting kit, if I love it I'll get it at the 40. If I'm 50/50 I'll wait until it's 60.

Joann's also sells a pen-like glue gun that's much less unwieldy than a standard glue gun. I think it's $20, but rarely on sale so you can use a 50% off coupon on it, thus $10. Same goes for the embroidery floss variety packs; they're rarely on sale, so you can use a 50% coupon. I swear by and will only use DMC, but I've heard that other brands are fine as well.

Rats, we don’t have Joann’s here because this sounds amazing! All my kids love crafting to varying degrees, but the other 2 babble and are more likely to smile. Plus aren’t as tidy 😂 My serious crafter won’t listen to any chatter, so unless it is super important, I don’t say anything either. 

If Alyssa posts a clip and all 4 of the girls are silent and stoney faced, then I would side-eye it.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

4 minutes ago, Mrs Ms said:

Rats, we don’t have Joann’s here because this sounds amazing! All my kids love crafting to varying degrees, but the other 2 babble and are more likely to smile. Plus aren’t as tidy 😂 My serious crafter won’t listen to any chatter, so unless it is super important, I don’t say anything either. 

If Alyssa posts a clip and all 4 of the girls are silent and stoney faced, then I would side-eye it.

I agree.  Some of my happiest moments are when I'm extremely focused and inevitably someone will come along and ask me what's wrong because I look so serious.

[Mrs Ms]

37 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I agree.  Some of my happiest moments are when I'm extremely focused and inevitably someone will come along and ask me what's wrong because I look so serious.

Me happily doing something very intricate. 
Someone “why are you upset?”

Me “huh!?!? I’m not!”

Someone “I can tell you are, what’s wrong??”

Me “I’m NOT” 

Someone “you can talk to me you know, why are you so upset?” 
Me “you burst my happiness bubble arsehole, NOW I am upset!!” 
Luckily for them, “someone” is no longer my mum, partner or kids! 

[artdecades]

On 1/31/2022 at 9:04 PM, Mrs Ms said:

Meh, that is the face one of my kids has for the entire length of any craft project. Just utter concentration because my kid LOVES crafting. And is very careful about spillages and cleaning up afterwards (also very somber looking) and then lights UP talking all about it once done. 

I would agree if that is what it looked like to me, but she looked entirely uninvolved in the process. She looked passive while mom painted her hand and moved it to where it was going.