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Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 30


GreyhoundFan

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"Duckets for Russets"

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Yesterday, the House of Representatives voted to pass the $1.9 trillion stimulus package. The Senate had already passed it last week. You’re probably going to get another stimulus check.

Mississippi Senator Roger Wicker, a Republican, tweeted out praise for the $28.6 billion included for “targeted relief” for restaurants.

Wicker tweeted, “Independent restaurant operators have won $28.6 billion worth of targeted relief. This funding will ensure small businesses can survive the pandemic by helping to adapt their operations and keep their employees on the payroll.”

Wow. It sure sounds like Wicker is excited about this money that’ll help restaurants stay afloat. Members of Congress typically boast about their votes and how much they’re doing for their constituents. Wicker really wants small restaurant owners in Mississippi to appreciate him for this stimulus they’re about to receive. But Wicker did leave out one tiny little maybe important detail. It’s a detail that everyone in Mississippi who needs this money should realize and remember when Wicker is up for reelection in four years.

Roger Wicker, Republican, left out the part that he…wait for it…DIDN’T VOTE FOR THE BILL.

Roger Wicker voted no. Roger Wicker voted against small businesses and independent restaurants in Mississippi receiving a stimulus check. He voted against every person in Mississippi and the rest of the nation making less than $80,000 a year from receiving a $1,400 check. With the average income in Mississippi at just a little over $24,000, a lot of Mississippians will be receiving checks. So, Mississippians, when you get your check, remember that BOTH of your Senators (the other being Cindy Hyde-Smith) voted against you receiving it.

In fact, every Republican in Congress voted against the stimulus. Every Republican in the House and every Republican in the Senate voted against it. Even Mitt Romney, who has occasional hot flashes of not being a total butt stick, voted against it. If Republicans had just one more seat in the United States Senate, you would not be receiving a check. None of us would be receiving a check.

Republicans don’t care about you. Republicans care more about saving Mr. Potato Head from becoming a trans potato head than they care about you. They voted against this bill that would help farmers who grow real actual potatoes. By the way, with Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head both being plastic toys, neither of them has wee-wees and hoo-haas. Fortunately, neither do real potatoes because that’d be totally unappetizing.

In the first stimulus, Donald Trump (who many also assume doesn’t come with a wee-wee) made sure his name was printed on the physical checks voters received. His only involvement with that was he didn’t block it. If anything, Nancy Pelosi should have had her name on it. But for dumb Americans, you know, Trump supporters, they were all like, “Praise Trump for this check. Ya, Trump! Will my check be bigger than black people’s checks?”. Now, will they notice they’re receiving checks without one Republican vote? In the note section of these checks, it should say, “No thanks to Republicans.” That was actually my first idea but it would have been less fun to draw.

Washington is extremely partisan right now. It’s so partisan, that not one Republican could reach across the aisle to help Americans during this pandemic. They know this package, the American Rescue Plan, is a success for President Joe Biden. They would rather hurt Americans than give Biden a win. And right now, they’re working in 43 states to change election laws to give Republicans an advantage, so next time Americans need help, they’ll have the votes to say, “Go suck it, America.”

This stimulus is to help people who need help. Republicans are screaming about the cost which is something they only do when a Democrat is in the White House. When they jacked up the deficit to give billionaires and trust-fund babies a tax cut, they didn’t express any concern about the spending. And that action didn’t help people who needed help. Sure, Donald Trump Jr. probably needs help (and a sponsor), but not financially.

Despite voting against this stimulus, you can expect Republicans to try to take credit for it passing. During the 2018 midterms, Republicans literally ran on saving Obamacare. The same goons, where not one voted for it and then made over 50 attempts to repeal it, was telling Americans that if they lost Congress, that people would lose their health coverage. In 2022, you’ll see Republicans campaign on the stimulus. And they will run on it like it was their invention because this stimulus is even popular with Republican voters, coming in at over 60% approval. Fortunately for Republican office holders, Republican voters be stupid.

And in Mississippi, restaurant owners whose businesses were saved by this bill, will turn around and reelect Roger Wicker…the man who voted against their survival. Republican voters are also forgetful unless it’s something to do with Hillary Clinton.

In 2024, when Wicker is campaigning in his state and is visiting all those catfish and BBQ restaurants, the owners should tell him to get lost. He didn’t help them. What they should do is take a Mr. Potato Head to Mr. Wicker and see if he’s anatomically correct. Am I being too subtle?

Anyway, enjoy your stimulus…no thanks to Republicans.

Update: I knew this and forgot it. Roger Wicker added the amendment to the bill that gave the stimulus to restaurants (with Democratic Senator Kyrsten Sinema) and still voted against it. Thanks, Mike Marturello, for that note.

 

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