Clara Nolkamper: I Have 11 Children

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, Aine said:

I saw that. And someone commented that with 12 already, she must always have baby fever. She responded by saying that it's often her husband with baby fever before her. Yet you never see a photo of him with the kids or snuggling a newborn etc. I can maybe understand if he wants to avoid social media and things, especially if he has a mainstream job. I don't know...

She puzzles me.

I am impressed by the birthdays she puts on for her kids though. We can say it's all for show and her public image of being the 'perfect mother' but regardless, her kids do get to experience those great decorations and cakes and having a day that is clearly thought about and prepared for beforehand with intention and it must make them feel truly special on their birthday. It's something that sets Clara apart from a lot of the fundies we follow.

Also, for all her focus on not looking pregnant and looking young and obsessively adding to her brood and how her whole self-worth seems to be tied up in breeding, I do get the impression she enjoys her children. Maybe she doesn't soak in the newborn long enough for before trying for yet another Irish twin but I like that on Olivia's birthday, it seemed like just she and Olivia went out and Olivia picked out things she likes and wants and Clara's words were more about Olivia and how wonderful she is and her beautiful qualities rather than all about how Olivia 'serves the family' or 'serves Jesus every second of every freaking day' or about what Olivia does for her parents.

I think a lot of people mistake a person’s hobbies and enjoyments as being a good mother on social media. I’m not saying you are doing this. I’m saying that on the surface, Zoo Anderson could look like a good mother because she makes her kids beautiful cakes and cookies all the time. And we all know Zoo is far from a good mother. 
 

What I’ve realized as a mother living in a world of Pinterest moms and mommy blogs. Some moms really enjoy crafting or baking or sewing. I have a feeling Clara really loves decorating for a party. If she hadn’t become a mother of 12, I could see her being party planner or a wedding planner. It’s something she enjoys very much. And that’s likely a big reason why she does it. Her kids definitely benefit from it. And I think that’s great. But it doesn’t make her a good mother. It makes her seem like a good mother on social media and Pinterest. Being a good mother equals a million different moments in a day. We only get a tiny piece of a day with Clara’s posts.

[EmiSue]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think a lot of people mistake a person’s hobbies and enjoyments as being a good mother on social media. I’m not saying you are doing this. I’m saying that on the surface, Zoo Anderson could look like a good mother because she makes her kids beautiful cakes and cookies all the time. And we all know Zoo is far from a good mother. 
 

What I’ve realized as a mother living in a world of Pinterest moms and mommy blogs. Some moms really enjoy crafting or baking or sewing. I have a feeling Clara really loves decorating for a party. If she hadn’t become a mother of 12, I could see her being party planner or a wedding planner. It’s something she enjoys very much. And that’s likely a big reason why she does it. Her kids definitely benefit from it. And I think that’s great. But it doesn’t make her a good mother. It makes her seem like a good mother on social media and Pinterest. Being a good mother equals a million different moments in a day. We only get a tiny piece of a day with Clara’s posts.

I half-ass a lot of things because I hate crafting, baking, decorating, etc. And I have close friends who love that type of thing who come to me for book recommendations for their kids because that's my greatest interest. They bake cakes for my kid, I hook their kids on new book series. One shows up on social media, the other not so much. I like that we add to each other's villages. The biggest problem with most fundies is the inherent isolation, so as a kid, you get what your parent (exhausted mom) knows and likes and not much else, even from teachers, coaches, etc. There are infinite ways to be a good parent, but no one can cover all those bases, especially with eleventy small kids at once. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, EmiSue said:

I half-ass a lot of things because I hate crafting, baking, decorating, etc. And I have close friends who love that type of thing who come to me for book recommendations for their kids because that's my greatest interest. They bake cakes for my kid, I hook their kids on new book series. One shows up on social media, the other not so much. I like that we add to each other's villages. The biggest problem with most fundies is the inherent isolation, so as a kid, you get what your parent (exhausted mom) knows and likes and not much else, even from teachers, coaches, etc. There are infinite ways to be a good parent, but no one can cover all those bases, especially with eleventy small kids at once. 

I have a mom friend who is super crafty and creative so she makes her children’s Halloween costumes every year. They are amazing and I’m sure they are hours and hours of work. But she enjoys it. If she didn’t enjoy it, I’m sure she would buy the costumes instead. My kids aren’t any less loved because I usually buy their costumes. I’m not a lesser parent because I buy their costumes. All of our kids are happy with their costumes and proud. I hate the idea that Pinterest moms are better than other moms. That’s not just a fundie idea either. It’s all over mainstream mom blogs and social media.

[Nike]

@JermajestyDuggar I think you are spot on in that Clara enjoys decorating for parties. She has done other "tables" for other occasions when not preparing one for the kids. 

If anything, she posts more photos of her 'handiwork' than of the children which to me speaks volumes. 

[zeebaneighba]

16 hours ago, BritishBabycatcher said:

Is there a 6week 'rule' in the US?

I've never heard of this in england. 

My midwife just told me I could resume activities when I felt like it but just to use contraception from 3 weeks if I didnt want to get pregnant again so soon.

Maybe to much detail...some of you might be grossed out by it. 

First baby I went 12 weeks (he was a god damn nightmare baby!!!)

Second baby I lasted about 5 days ? (easy baby)

IIRC,* new moms in the US generally have a check-up at 6 weeks; I suspect they tell everyone to wait that long because they want to make sure everything has healed properly before giving the go ahead to resume activities.

*My kids are both in their 30s, so things may have changed a bit.

Edited December 4, 2020 by zeebaneighba

[feministxtian]

12 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I have a mom friend who is super crafty and creative so she makes her children’s Halloween costumes every year.

When I was a SAHM I made the Halloween costumes. One year I made Star Trek uniforms for all the kids...no pattern, lots of WAGS. I enjoyed it, I was pretty good at it. Once I went back to work full time, that fell by the wayside. Either way, made or bought, my kids loved their costumes. I've made birthday cakes and bought birthday cakes...either way, the kid's birthday got celebrated. I honestly don't think those are fair measures of "loving" your kids.  

Now, tonight, seeing #1 son give his baby a bottle in the same chair his grandfather used to hold him in was a beautiful thing. THOSE are the moments that I live for...THOSE are the moments of love. The thread that goes from my dad, through me, to my son, to my granddaughter. 4 generations...wow! 

It's easy to love your kids...I mean...even though my kids are now 38, 33 and 30...I still look at them in amazement and wonder how I got so lucky...seriously....I love them so much it hurts!

[Aine]

23 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think a lot of people mistake a person’s hobbies and enjoyments as being a good mother on social media. I’m not saying you are doing this. I’m saying that on the surface, Zoo Anderson could look like a good mother because she makes her kids beautiful cakes and cookies all the time. And we all know Zoo is far from a good mother. 
 

What I’ve realized as a mother living in a world of Pinterest moms and mommy blogs. Some moms really enjoy crafting or baking or sewing. I have a feeling Clara really loves decorating for a party. If she hadn’t become a mother of 12, I could see her being party planner or a wedding planner. It’s something she enjoys very much. And that’s likely a big reason why she does it. Her kids definitely benefit from it. And I think that’s great. But it doesn’t make her a good mother. It makes her seem like a good mother on social media and Pinterest. Being a good mother equals a million different moments in a day. We only get a tiny piece of a day with Clara’s posts.

I definitely don't think she's a good mother and the fact that such a focus is put on the decorations (photos of just the decorations the night before but without the kid in them sometimes the next day) are evidence of that.

I more meant that at least that effort going in and the planning for it probably makes the kids feel really special. I do think she enjoys her kids a little more than most fundies we have here.

But I'm still firmly in the camp of "outspoken critic of most things Clara" ? There is no way any of those children could be getting the attention they need but I'm glad they have one day when their mom really goes all out and spends time putting something together to celebrate them.

[lexiloumarie]

On 12/3/2020 at 2:51 AM, BritishBabycatcher said:

Is there a 6week 'rule' in the US?

I've never heard of this in england. 

My midwife just told me I could resume activities when I felt like it but just to use contraception from 3 weeks if I didnt want to get pregnant again so soon.

Maybe to much detail...some of you might be grossed out by it. 

First baby I went 12 weeks (he was a god damn nightmare baby!!!)

Second baby I lasted about 5 days ? (easy baby)

Lesbian so birth control isn't an issue but I was told 6ish weeks because the uterus has to heal from the placenta. 

[BritishBabycatcher]

We have the 6 week check up with the doctor, just never heard of the 6 week sex ban rule. Surely if you feel happy too and comfortable too, then surely it's not damaging. 

[Gobsmacked]

16 hours ago, zeebaneighba said:

IIRC,* new moms in the US generally have a check-up at 6 weeks; I suspect they tell everyone to wait that long because they want to make sure everything has healed properly before giving the go ahead to resume activities.

*My kids are both in their 30s, so things may have changed a bit.

I’m in the uk. We were advised to wait 6 weeks then have check up. That was late 90’s so recommendations may have changed. 

[Skyline]

2 hours ago, lexiloumarie said:

Lesbian so birth control isn't an issue but I was told 6ish weeks because the uterus has to heal from the placenta. 

Same on the 6wks, both for my c section to heal and the risk of infection in the uterus 

[Nefernandes15]

On 12/3/2020 at 8:09 AM, indianabones said:

There's a big difference between being a liar and being "bipolar". Probably not the best word to throw around.

I'm sorry! You are right! It's an expression, it wasn't me trying to be bad or disrepecting bipolar people. I'm sorry! 

[indianabones]

2 hours ago, Nefernandes15 said:

I'm sorry! You are right! It's an expression, it wasn't me trying to be bad or disrepecting bipolar people. I'm sorry! 

It's okay, I didn't think you were trying to be disrespectful. All good!

[Daisy]

Clara hashtagging it’s not about the gifts. On a post with pictures of a massive pile of gifts.   

[lexiloumarie]

Okay, we have good jobs and we bought our Littles cute clothes back in the day but how is she according the Kate Quinn clothes? She posted her cart and it's gotta be over a hundred in little baby clothes. I know she'll use it again but still. 

[BritishBabycatcher]

Clara has announced in her Instagram story that shes cleaning up for instagram to just family and friends only....

 

I'm sure she'll reopen it in November with the birth of #13. 

[Nike]

19 hours ago, BritishBabycatcher said:

Clara has announced in her Instagram story that shes cleaning up for instagram to just family and friends only....

 

I'm sure she'll reopen it in November with the birth of #13. 

She said that it would be over the next few months. Why would it take her that long? It's only seconds to change your settings. I'm wondering if she's thinking of leaving her page in a "cliffhanger" e.g. just before giving birth to 13.

[G33kywife]

21 hours ago, Nike said:

She said that it would be over the next few months. Why would it take her that long? It's only seconds to change your settings. I'm wondering if she's thinking of leaving her page in a "cliffhanger" e.g. just before giving birth to 13.

Probably because she has to manually go through all of her followers and remove the ones who she doesn’t actually know. 

[Nike]

2 hours ago, G33kywife said:

Probably because she has to manually go through all of her followers and remove the ones who she doesn’t actually know. 

Oh ok. Well, I shall receive my marching orders eventually ?

[Intothewind]

Did she ever announce the name of #12?

[SolomonFundy]

3 hours ago, Intothewind said:

Did she ever announce the name of #12?

Lydia Quinn, but she's called her "Quinnie" in most posts.

Maybe it's BEC, but there's something incredible off-putting about that nickname.

[Intothewind]

11 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

Lydia Quinn, but she's called her "Quinnie" in most posts.

Maybe it's BEC, but there's something incredible off-putting about that nickname.

Thank you!

[Nike]

In a shocking turn of events Clara announces 13th baby 

[BritishBabycatcher]

Baby Eleanor Jean "Nora" arrived 19th Dec. So no Irish twins this year. Guessing she will disappear again now until #14 arrives in Nov 22

[Nike]

No full body picture of Clara but we can be assured that her belly went completely flat 17 minutes after delivery 

Edited December 22, 2021 by Nike