Maxwell 30: Buying a Vest Debt Free

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

55 minutes ago, freejugar said:

Why oh why does a grown up woman get in a slide  for children?

I used to slide with my kids when they were smaller. I'm nearing 50 now, and they're big enough they don't ask me to slide with them any more. But it was fun when they were little.

However, the pictures of the "aunties" sliding would be cuter if I knew that after the outing, they had adult lives with a choice in how they live. An infantilized adult using the playground equipment just reminds me that her family treats her like a child.

[Jana814]

1 hour ago, crawfishgirl said:

I wonder if they chose the school playground because it would be less likely to have other kids there when school was not in session, as compared to a public park?  They could avoid fraternization and uncovered leggings.  I think that's the reason that they built the Auntie's Park in their backyard.

I think you are probably right. They don’t want their grandchildren to be around other kids. When they build the auntie’s park I guess right away they did it to keep the kids away from other kids. 

[fundiewatch]

Is Grandma’s picnic what used to be the Twins Picnic? Apparently that is book based and apple slices are indeed an important part  

https://blog.titus2.com/2017/06/08/twins-picnic/

but Auntie’s Picnic also looks very similar with the PBJ. 

 

I remain somewhat nonplussed by the huge amount of showboating this family does. 

[tabitha2]

@freejugar Because some some small children get nervous going down slide like that by themselves or the kids want her to play with them.  My grandmother used to put on a bathing suit and say in a  small kiddie pool with me. 

Edited April 27, 2019 by tabitha2

[Black Aliss]

6 hours ago, fundiefan said:

A woman who has to put 15 minutes on the schedule to read to her grandchildren is not really capable of a couple hours at a playground with multiple children along with feeding them. Especially when she does it all of once a year; it's not like she has learned anything from "last time" since the kids change in a years' time. 

Oh, I'm sure she keeps a spreadsheet that includes the weather, the number and ages of children, and how much each one ate of each food. Jesse could probably come up with an algorithm that would determine the growth rates and calculate the amount of food needed from the previous year.

[Hane]

@Black Aliss, agreed. This is the family who has to have meetings to discuss the outcome of each year’s Christmas caroling and loaf cake giveaway project to determine what to do next year. Normal folks would say, “We baked what, two dozen? Were there any left or did we come up short? OK, two dozen again next year.” (I mean, would a zombie apocalypse happen if they had one extra loaf? How terrifying could it be to wrap it up and chuck it into the freezer?)

[Lgirlrocks]

@Hane for someone with depression that hasn’t been properly treated and has to do everything in 15 minute blocks yes. What helps my depression is having a job. I have dogs that need to be fed and walked but someone else could do that. Knowing I have to get up and be at work gets me out of bed when I’m depressed. 

They have preached the 15 minute block schedule as the cure all. It fixes everything. Terri may be the kind of person that becomes even more depressed if things don’t go as planned. She may also feel she let Steve down too. 

[Captain Obvious]

30 minutes ago, Hane said:

@Black Aliss How terrifying could it be to wrap it up and chuck it into the freezer?

Well you can bet that if that ever happened, there would be a blog post praising whoever thought of the idea for their genius and “creativity “.

[Hane]

@Lgirlrocks, I hear you. My depression has become worse since I retired. I try hard to keep busy and get myself out of the house, but there are days when I can barely get off the couch. I’m on a mission to find a behavioral therapist who accepts Medicare.

[Aithuia]

On 4/26/2019 at 1:50 PM, Black Aliss said:

But this comment from a follower nearly made me cry:

I agree--also, Teri's responses to two others were so bizarre. 

To one follower, who comments that she values the time her own parents put into connecting with their grandchildren (such as taking the older ones to a science museum) Teri answered that as a mother, what the follower must really have appreciated was the time she then had at home with the younger children. As if any suggestion of a mother home alone while someone else watched her children was something too terrible to consider! 

And in response to another follower, who asks which playground they went to since she has young children who might also enjoy such an outing, Teri flatly shuts her down and gives no information whatsoever, saying she isn't familiar with Kansas City parks and can't help.

It really makes me wonder how some of these loyal blog followers feel when they see the answers to their comments, or how the Maxwells edit them. 

[theologygeek]

On 4/26/2019 at 7:03 AM, ViolaSebastian said:

It's something of a mystery to me why we criticize Teri for seeing her grandchildren in "spurts." She is certainly more involved than both of my sets of grandparents were. However, beyond that, we generally acknowledge that a few things are true in the Maxwell situation: 1). Steve is an abusive, controlling asshole 2). Teri needed/needs REAL help in the form of actual, medical professionals, including mental health help. 3). Teri struggled with having three children, was manipulated into bearing five more, and, from the sounds of it, was not what one would traditionally consider "motherly," whether that was a symptom of her inability to cope due to depression or due to personality traits or both. 

So why in the world would be criticize Teri for not being "grandmotherly" enough when we acknowledge that she's had (and is most likely having) these struggles? Why in the world are we criticizing her for not taking on a traditionally feminine role, when we here are FJ supposedly harbor and encourage the feminist belief that women are people beyond being mothers and grandmothers, and that not all women are cut out for those jobs and some that do choose that route do it differently than others? Dare I say it, it's hypocritical. If she wants to spend an hour with her grandchildren, that's up to her. It SHOULD ultimately be up to her, in any case, as it seems that very few parts of her life are and ever were. 

I agree with everything you said.  But there's another side to it.  She ruined her daughters' lives.  She had a hand in it.  It wasn't just her husband.  It takes two.  When a woman has kids, it is also her responsibility to protect them.   She said in her mother's corners that she doesn't question her husband.  She is telling other women to do the same thing.  She traveled around the country and told people not to put their children in school, in sports, and not to let them have friends.  If it was her depression that made her turn everything over to her husband, then fine.  I would say you're right.  But she is telling other women to do the same thing.  That's the key.  She let her husband run everything without putting her foot down, and she tells other women to do the same things.  If a woman can't cope with something for whatever reason, then I feel badly for her and am sorry that she is dealing with that issue.  But if a woman can't cope with something and tells others that it is godly for them not to do it either, then it's a whole other ballgame.  

[theologygeek]

10 hours ago, fundiefan said:

To be honest, for me, the comments about her not being able to handle it had more to do with her mental/emotional health than physical. A woman who has to put 15 minutes on the schedule to read to her grandchildren is not really capable of a couple hours at a playground with multiple children along with feeding them. Especially when she does it all of once a year; it's not like she has learned anything from "last time" since the kids change in a years' time. 

And that's okay.  If a woman can't handle children for more than an hour, then you do you.  Do what you feel comfortable with. And both men and women should not bash them or make them feel less than human for their choices.  That's true feminism.  BUT...This same woman needs to keep her lip zipped when it comes to other women.  Butt out.  Once a woman tells other women that the godly way is to do (insert whatever unhealthy thing she's preaching), then my sympathy for her goes right out the window.  

[Maggie Mae]

9 hours ago, freejugar said:

Why oh why does a grown up woman  get in a slide  for children?

Because it's fun? 

 

42 minutes ago, Aithuia said:

And in response to another follower, who asks which playground they went to since she has young children who might also enjoy such an outing, Teri flatly shuts her down and gives no information whatsoever, saying she isn't familiar with Kansas City parks and can't help.

This made me wonder why the woman couldn't use google. The Maxwell's aren't in KC. Why would you ask a random blog instead of using the power of the internet to figure out where to take your children? 

[SilverBeach]

Yeah Teri made her bed but wants to influence other women to sleep in it too, along with her daughters.  Teri handing her life over to Steve is sad, but it doesn't excuse her promoting her dysfunctional way of life to others.

[SPHASH]

42 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Because it's fun? 

 

This made me wonder why the woman couldn't use google. The Maxwell's aren't in KC. Why would you ask a random blog instead of using the power of the internet to figure out where to take your children? 

I'm surprised Griselda didn't tell her to Google it.  https://blog.titus2.com/2018/07/20/google-it/

[PennySycamore]

@Maggie Mae,  I'll go down a slide myself if the slide looks sturdy enough and it looks like I can fit.  I'm not 95 pounds anymore.  Usually, though, my job when I have my grandkids at a park is to stand at the bottom to catch then when they come sliding down.

[theologygeek]

1 hour ago, SilverBeach said:

Yeah Teri made her bed but wants to influence other women to sleep in it too, along with her daughters.  Teri handing her life over to Steve is sad, but it doesn't excuse her promoting her dysfunctional way of life to others.

Yes exactly!!!  

[Ozlsn]

11 hours ago, crawfishgirl said:

I wonder if they chose the school playground because it would be less likely to have other kids there when school was not in session, as compared to a public park?  They could avoid fraternization and uncovered leggings.  I think that's the reason that they built the Auntie's Park in their backyard.

That is so sad. Kids have so much fun with other kids at the park - it's great for parents too. I do wonder hie yhings will change when Steve dies - hopefully not too late for his grandchildren to be able to more easily move into the world.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

2 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Yeah Teri made her bed but wants to influence other women to sleep in it too, along with her daughters. 

Yikes! That bed is getting crowded!      I think I'll stay out of it. 

Edited April 28, 2019 by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
Trying to improve my comedy routine. ?

[lilith]

8 hours ago, Hane said:

@Black Aliss, agreed. This is the family who has to have meetings to discuss the outcome of each year’s Christmas caroling and loaf cake giveaway project to determine what to do next year. Normal folks would say, “We baked what, two dozen? Were there any left or did we come up short? OK, two dozen again next year.” (I mean, would a zombie apocalypse happen if they had one extra loaf? How terrifying could it be to wrap it up and chuck it into the freezer?)

It would be chaos! Their designated leftover eater has been taken 2 streets away by an eyeliner using, calf length skirt wearing hussy and become extended family! They need to properly train Jesse before he can step into the official leftover eater role, and their schedule is predetermined WAY too packed to fit that in for at least a year.

As far as the comments about Teri’s grandmothering go - I have a lot of sympathy for her untreated depression and if she finds it hard to be around 10 kids under 12 I absolutely don’t blame her. But she shouldn’t be advertising herself as a paragon of motherhood and grand motherhood and writing books telling women to do it just like she did/does when it has obviously made her and her daughters miserable.

[ViolaSebastian]

I have to say, no there's no excuse for it, but there are solid reasons it happened. Steve is an abusive asshole, and without a doubt in my mind, abused Teri. Teri is depressed and at the time was barely treading water. Is it realistic to expect Teri to tell her husband "no" to writing and going on speaking engagements when it wasn't realistic of her to say "no" to procreating five more times? There are a whole slew of very good reasons why people don't leave abusive relationships. Moreover, people can both perpetrators and victims. I'm not excusing her behavior, but there are solid reasons that this went down the way it did. 

It's interesting to me that we tend to acknowledge that women in fundie relationships have no power and are overwhelmingly the victims in abusive situations given the nature of fundamentalism, but we also expect them to be able to leave relationships and protect their children in ways that sometimes even women in the secular world can't.

Edited April 28, 2019 by ViolaSebastian

[theologygeek]

31 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

I have to say, no there's no excuse for it, but there are solid reasons it happened. Steve is an abusive asshole, and without a doubt in my mind, abused Teri. Teri is depressed and at the time was barely treading water. Is it realistic to expect Teri to tell her husband "no" to writing and going on speaking engagements when it wasn't realistic of her to say "no" to procreating five more times? There are a whole slew of very good reasons why people don't leave abusive relationships. Moreover, people can both perpetrators and victims. I'm not excusing her behavior, but there are solid reasons that this went down the way it did. 

It's interesting to me that we tend to acknowledge that women in fundie relationships have no power and are overwhelmingly the victims in abusive situations given the nature of fundamentalism, but we also expect them to be able to leave relationships and protect their children in ways that sometimes even women in the secular world can't.

I do agree with what you're saying.  But she is also participating in trashing the lives of the next generation of children.  Not only her grandchildren, but the children of people who follow her blog.  We don't give a pass to the heads of religious cults.  David Koresh could have been an abused child with a horrible upbringing, but it wouldn't excuse all the innocent children he took down with him.  I read a comment on Zsu's facebook from someone asking her how to keep her daughters at home when they are adults.  These preachy women are dangerous.  Whether they are abused or not, they have followers who live and breathe on everything they say.  And it's the kids who suffer.  

[ViolaSebastian]

2 minutes ago, theologygeek said:

I do agree with what you're saying.  But she is also participating in trashing the lives of the next generation of children.  Not only her grandchildren, but the children of people who follow her blog.  We don't give a pass to the heads of religious cults.  David Koresh could have been an abused child with a horrible upbringing, but it wouldn't excuse all the innocent children he took down with him.  I read a comment on Zsu's facebook from someone asking her how to keep her daughters at home when they are adults.  These preachy women are dangerous.  Whether they are abused or not, they have followers who live and breathe on everything they say.  And it's the kids who suffer.  

Could she have conceivably said no, if she truly didn't believe that it was okay to treat her children or any children that way? I just don't see it. Yes, these "preachy" women are dangerous, but how much of what they say is influenced by the fact that they honestly believe they'll go to the flaming pits of hell or be kicked out on the streets if they aren't submissive? And what about their children then?

[SilverBeach]

2 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Could she have conceivably said no, if she truly didn't believe that it was okay to treat her children or any children that way? I just don't see it. Yes, these "preachy" women are dangerous, but how much of what they say is influenced by the fact that they honestly believe they'll go to the flaming pits of hell or be kicked out on the streets if they aren't submissive? And what about their children then?

Honestly believing something doesn't make it right to do wrong things.

[ViolaSebastian]

3 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Honestly believing something doesn't make it right to do wrong things.

It doesn't; I agree. But psychological manipulation and brain-washing are very real things

Edited April 28, 2019 by ViolaSebastian
Grammar