Maxwell 30: Buying a Vest Debt Free

[daisyjane1234]

On 4/11/2019 at 4:18 PM, Aithuia said:

 

New post up celebrating the 45-year commitment of Terri and Steve.

Sarah comments:

"Only four months away from 45 years since they said “I Do,” my parents love to spend time together, and they are living boldly for Jesus! As an encouragement to our blog readers, know that your example is watched by your kids"

You mean the boys you've allowed to marry.  Maxwell girls are not permitted to leave Steve's lifelong prison sentence, ummm, umbrella of protection, and marry.

[SPHASH]

From a test reader-Many couples stay married only because they know they should and sadly settle for a marriage of strife or, at best, a ho-hum co-existence. Teri gives hope, from experience, that there is a better option – endeavor to build a delightful marriage. A wife can do much to create and maintain an enjoyable marriage, and this book gives both encouragement and ideas to realize that hope. Linda.  Yes Linda Griselda Teri is a shining example, suffer from depression, refuse medical and professional help, and allow your patriarchal douchebag of a husband to get unsnipped and knock you up repeatedly until menopause.

[kpmom]

2 hours ago, SPHASH said:

 Griselda Teri is a shining example, suffer from depression, refuse medical and professional help, and allow your patriarchal douchebag of a husband to get unsnipped and knock you up repeatedly until menopause.

ITA

Their marriage has "succeeded" because one member (not partner) gave up her personhood, and agreed to submit herself entirely to the other member. 

She didn't want to have more babies, but she did because Steve insisted.  She didn't want to homeschool, but she did because Steve insisted.  And those are just the things we know for sure about.  Who knows what else she felt obligated to do.

 

[fundiefan]

I am not married anymore and that is because I was in a marriage with a very controlling, dangerous, narcissistic man. Nothing could have made the marriage "work" other than me becoming Teri - a "meek" woman who lets her husband control her life and the world around her. 

Fortunately, I was not indoctrinated into any religion and high-tailed it out of there once I woke up and realized what kind of life I'd been living. 

Teri is going to great lengths to justify her life and how she handed it over to her husband. She was too depressed to do anything for herself so she let him do it all, and make all the decisions. I'm convinced she's still depressed, but she buries it behind bible verses and Steve's take on what they mean. 

If I were ever to marry again and find myself in a marriage "in trouble", the last person on the planet I would go to for advice would be Teri. No person who can't see her nose on her face has no right or place giving other's advice or direction. 

Hell, she admits proudly that Steve "nudged" her to write it in the first place. Something tells me someone was questioning Steve and he had to make it known how perfect he is. 

Gag. They're not only boring, they are disturbed. 

 

[Hane]

@fundiefan, been there, done that, too. And gee whillikers, whyever isn’t Stevehovah publishing a book about the delight he takes in loving his wife?

Edited April 19, 2019 by Hane

[SolomonFundy]

3 hours ago, Hane said:

@fundiefan, been there, done that, too. And gee whillikers, whyever isn’t Stevehovah publishing a book about the delight he takes in loving his wife?

It will be published in full, unedited form by Sarah

...as an obedience manual for Ellie.

[Ozlsn]

19 hours ago, daisyjane1234 said:

New post up celebrating the 45-year commitment of Terri and Steve.

Sarah comments:

"Only four months away from 45 years since they said “I Do,” my parents love to spend time together, and they are living boldly for Jesus! As an encouragement to our blog readers, know that your example is watched by your kids"

You mean the boys you've allowed to marry.  Maxwell girls are not permitted to leave Steve's lifelong prison sentence, ummm, umbrella of protection, and marry.

Geez Sarah could that sentence be any more awkward? Read it out loud for heaven's sake! It is jarringly stilted. 

It really makes me wonder how often Sarah and her sisters get to talk with people outside their family - that is not how anyone would express that thought in normal conversation, or in most writing.

And seriously here both my parents and in laws have been married over 50 years and enjoy doing things together - generally speaking if you're still married after that long you share at least a few interests, otherwise you'd have split up already. Grief. And both have a much more equal relationship than Steve and Teri - my in laws ran a business together for 48 years without killing each other but with mutual respect for the other's strengths within the business. And best of all their example is watched by their adult kids, all of whom are out in the world following their own paths as they were encouraged and supported to do - independent of their parents (but starting to worry about the time they will need to care for them, and how that will be managed.) 

[daisyjane1234]

I know.  This idea that the Maxwell's endorse - that making a marriage successful is all about relinquishing your identity and autonomy to another - makes me furious. 

My almost 30 year marriage is happy and successful not because I worship my husband (hmm Terri, be careful you're not crossing into idolatry there), or have him control my life, but because my husband and I listen to, and nurture, each other's needs and interests.  We also take seriously the other's concerns and struggles.  

So, for example, I am flirting with leaving him for six weeks to hike the Camino.  He is my biggest cheerleader and fully supports my going.  Steven is Terri's biggest anchor.  So much so that she needs to write a book telling herself, and the world, he's not.

 

[PennySycamore]

@daisyjane1234, which Camino do you want to hike?  The Camino de Santiago or the Camino Real?  Or another one?  I first learned about the Camino Real in either geography or history class at school and the Camino de Santiago in my reading about the Basque region of Spain.  Santiago de Compostela is not in the Basque Region, of course, but in Galicia.  The camino does go through Basque country though.  

[Granwych]

8 hours ago, daisyjane1234 said:

I know.  This idea that the Maxwell's endorse - that making a marriage successful is all about relinquishing your identity and autonomy to another - makes me furious. 

My almost 30 year marriage is happy and successful not because I worship my husband (hmm Terri, be careful you're not crossing into idolatry there), or have him control my life, but because my husband and I listen to, and nurture, each other's needs and interests.  We also take seriously the other's concerns and struggles.  

So, for example, I am flirting with leaving him for six weeks to hike the Camino.  He is my biggest cheerleader and fully supports my going.  Steven is Terri's biggest anchor.  So much so that she needs to write a book telling herself, and the world, he's not.

 

Steve is Teri's God-given millstone tied tightly around her neck.

[socalrules]

I have no idea what Sarah meant by settling for a marriage of strife when the Maxwell lifestyle is all about settling. Every woman married to a Maxwell man settles by giving up any Independent thought or desire and becoming a human robot programmed by her man. Every single person not named Steve has settled for a path long ago determined by Steve. The Maxwell lifestyle, like most fundy lifestyles, is all about giving up before you even start trying. Maybe it’s easier for them that way.

I do wonder what goes on in their heads all day. Most of us spend time talking to others about tv, books, music, politics or what was on the news. We have so many random things to think about. These people stay away from information about what goes on outside their door so what do they think about all day other than abortion, cleaning and how others are going to hell. Can you really fill every day of your life just thinking about that? 

[Jana814]

16 hours ago, Granwych said:

Steve is Teri's God-given millstone tied tightly around her neck.

I think you just summed them up in this one sentence. 

[SPHASH]

On 4/19/2019 at 1:57 PM, kpmom said:

She didn't want to have more babies, but she did because Steve insisted.  She didn't want to homeschool, but she did because Steve insisted.  And those are just the things we know for sure about.  Who knows what else she felt obligated to do.

 

Pepsi

Edited April 22, 2019 by SPHASH
Formatting

[Granwych]

11 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Pepsi

How there can be enough Pepsi in the world for that chore is beyond me (and Pepsi flows through my veins)

[MamaJunebug]

Oo, Jesse’s tight pants! 

 

[HereticHick]

How on earth do the "girls" run in skirts this long?

[Dru]

For the love of god will someone please tell Anna how awful that side ponytail looks?

[Eternalbluepearl]

I've given up on Sarah ever leaving Maxhell. I think Anna and Mary, "the aunts," are permanant residents too. 

[Rosie]

14 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Oo, Jesse’s tight pants! 

 

Agree!

And John has put on a little weight.  Understandable - Chelsy's cooking is far more enticing than grey Maxwell fare.

[keepsweet]

29 minutes ago, Rosie said:

Agree!

And John has put on a little weight.  Understandable - Chelsy's cooking is far more enticing than grey Maxwell fare.

Are there photos of John? Does he or Joseph come around much anymore? I really think they are completely removing themselves from the advice and control of Steve. It must be very hard on Steve after son number one and two have played along so well.

[Lisafer]

58 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Oo, Jesse’s tight pants! 

 

It's really unfair that Jesse is allowed skin-tight jeans that accentuate his butt while his sisters are entangled in huge amounts of fabric. Of course, we all know that a woman can never be "visually stimulated" by the sight of a man's ass...a view that is held by my mother as well as by the Maxwells. 

[meee]

Steve looks odd in that picture of him and Benji, like he's lost a lot of weight or something. I don't think he looks especially well.

And Anna Marie really looks like she's in her element in the farm picture. 

And I was thinking how weird it is that they're like "oh, Melanie is due soon" and that's IT in terms of baby news. And I mean it makes sense, all of the other SILs have babies who are 12 months old or less. But to contrast that with the Duggars, where they're talking over on that thread about how there might be FOUR pregnant Duggars right now, and certainly two confirmed...I dunno, as competitive and "we are the godliest" as Steve is, it baffles me that he doesn't marry his daughters off just for the increase in numbers. 

(Pardon that rambly Sarah Maxwell-esque sentence. I'm multitasking.)

[NeckPunch]

Who are the friends over for dinner? Jesse and daughter are sitting across from each other, which caused me to raise my eyebrows. And their son looks about Mary's age too

[HereticHick]

31 minutes ago, Lisafer said:

. Of course, we all know that a woman can never be "visually stimulated" by the sight of a man's ass...a view that is held by my mother as well as by the Maxwells. 

You know in your heart that your mom (and all the Maxwell females) have at least once in their lives seen a fine looking male posterior. : )

[Dru]

1 hour ago, Rosie said:

Agree!

And John has put on a little weight.  Understandable - Chelsy's cooking is far more enticing than grey Maxwell fare.

I noticed John's weight as well. However, the snarky bitch in me thought "looks like John is having the next baby!"

I still can't help but wonder how overwhelmed he must have been the first time he had dinner with the Bons.

51 minutes ago, keepsweet said:

Are there photos of John? Does he or Joseph come around much anymore? I really think they are completely removing themselves from the advice and control of Steve. It must be very hard on Steve after son number one and two have played along so well.

John is on the left in the first photo where they are playing tag after lunch.

Edited April 22, 2019 by Dru