Trump 34: Leading the Alternate Reality

[GreyhoundFan]

[fraurosena]

Here's the next presiduncial conspiracy theory balloon thrown up into the Twitterverse. Still won't deflect our attention though.

BTW, don't you just hate the way he constantly refers to Lisa Page as 'the lovely Lisa'? *gag*

[Audrey2]

2 hours ago, fraurosena said:

Here's the next presiduncial conspiracy theory balloon thrown up into the Twitterverse. Still won't deflect our attention though.

BTW, don't you just hate the way he constantly refers to Lisa Page as 'the lovely Lisa'? *gag*

I like his original version I just read- an article about his text massages. Using the typo, was that Trump massaging the truth in his texts, or is a text massage the only way a woman will "touch or massage" him now. They might be Twitter Sexting.

[GreyhoundFan]

A good one from Alexandra Petri: "We need a space force. There is literally nothing more pressing."

Spoiler

Sorry, Earth. Space beckons.

There comes a day in the life of every sufficiently wealthy man or nation when you simply run out of things to do on the planet. And I regret to say that that day has come for the United States.

We have run out of things to throw money at on earth.

Look there are only so many decorative napkin holders with your initials on them that you can possibly get before you are decorative-napkin-holdered out. You can only commission so many large oil paintings of yourself in a red hunting jacket staring wistfully at your pack of hounds, and you can only buy Scott Pruitt so many first-class seats and personalized telephone booths before you start to feel empty and bored.

And then what can you do? You cannot build yourself an enormous armored suit and go around fighting crime. (Well, you can, but it is frowned upon.) You can build an ill-received rescue submarine and then leave it in a cave, after calling the actual rescuer a pedophile, but … Elon Musk already did it, and there is no reason to wish to do it again.

So there is nothing else for it. You must go to space. All billionaires agree: This is the only thing that remains. Earth is over. Forget it, Earth! If there was anything to do here, the Mayans already did it centuries ago. Now Space calls you, ineluctably, like the West at the end of the Lord of the Rings, and you must put yourself and all your possessions into a boat full of elves in shining robes and cast off.

To those who respond with consternation to the news of the Space Force (unfunded, still in the gestational stage, the only stage of life Mike Pence is excited about), I say: How can you look around this country right now and not think that our first priority should be the creation of a sixth branch of the armed forces to deal with space?

To those who say that in Flint some people still cannot drink tap water, I say I am pretty sure there is water on Mars. In the interim, let them drink La Croix.

To those who would suggest that this money and effort could be spent on infrastructure on earth, on roads or bridges, I respond, Eisenhower already did that, and if I learned anything from the Romans it is that you only need to build a bridge once and then you can just leave it for thousands of years and it’s fine.

To those who say our schools need the money, I say, “That is the kind of thinking that would have prevented the construction of the second Death Star.”

I hear you that we could just spend this on jets, and believe me, I am going to spend this on jets. But jets are not everything. There must also be lasers.

To those who say we could spend this money on, perhaps, expanding access to health care, I respond PEW PEW, making my hand into a tiny space gun, and then laugh hysterically and blow my nose on a pile of dollars.

To those who say that Puerto Rico could use support to rebuild, I respond: ASTEROIDS.

To those immigrant children and their families who have still not been reunited, I respond: I AM SORRY, I CANNOT HEAR YOU, I AM ALREADY IN SPACE, AND SOUND DOES NOT TRAVEL THROUGH SPACE.

The facts are clear: Poverty has been completely eradicated. Maternal mortality rates are not rising. There is no threat from abroad, and no threat from within. Everyone is adequately supplied with jobs, schools, and health care, for some, and private helicopters, for others. (That those last two groups almost completely overlap is admittedly a regrettable oversight.) Everyone has perfect teeth. Earth holds no further charm.

And as Donald Trump has so wisely observed, “At some point in the future, we’re going to look back and say how did we do it without space?”

“This is infinity here,” the sagacious president continued. “It could be infinity. We don’t really don’t know. But it could be. It has to be something — but it could be infinity, right?”

Elon Musk and even Jeff (Owns the Washington Post) Bezos agree: There is nothing else they can possibly do with their billions. There comes a point when you simply run out of projects on earth and feel the irresistible urge to throw all your money into a bottomless void, and in this scenario, that void is space.

Goodbye, world. The void is calling. We must answer.

 

[Rachel333]

On 8/8/2018 at 12:36 PM, Cartmann99 said:

Palate cleanser!!!

 

According to Omarosa, Trump did exactly that...

TRUMP ATE SENSITIVE DOCUMENT AFTER COHEN MEETING, FORMER WHITE HOUSE AIDE CLAIMS

[fraurosena]

So I guess lowlife is his word of the day.

Ugh, note that he somehow always has to put value on a woman when he describes them? First it’s the lovely Lisa, now it’s his beautiful wife. It says a lot about how he thinks of women. He puts them into two categories: attractive (the grab ‘em by the pussy kind) or not attractive.

So gross.

[AmazonGrace]

Erdogan used to be such a great friend huh

 

This all really sucks because everyone knew he was a crook long before he got elected

[AmericanRose]

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/trump-backs-boycott-of-harley-davidson-in-steel-tariff-dispute/ar-BBLPiSW?ocid=spartanntp

Some thoughts whilst reading:
* A President shouldn't be boycotting anything. He should be neutral. He also shouldn't be threatening to single out a particular company for extra taxes.
* This is the States. Everything is about the bottom line. If the company feels they would be financially better off elsewhere... why are people surprised they're moving? Don't they know we live in a capitalist society??? Didn't Trump brag about being a businessman? He should be able to understand this better than anyone!
* Trump has too much time on his hands.
* Is he going to monitor all companies to ensure they do what he wants? He seems to get oddly involved (Boeing, Amazon, Carrier, now Harley...)

 

[GreyhoundFan]

 

[Audrey2]

So, apparently Mattis is now on board for a space force.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/pentagon-chief-mattis-defends-reversal-space-force-220248792--politics.html

Quote

U.S. Defense Secretary Jim Mattis said Sunday he is satisfied that creating a Space Force as a separate military service is the right way to reorganize the Pentagon's approach to space.

Mattis, who last year opposed moves in Congress to create a separate space service, said his emphasis then was on establishing a consensus about what the Pentagon's space problem is before recommending a way to fix it.

"I was not against setting up a Space Force," he told reporters flying with him to Brazil to begin his first tour of South America as defense secretary. "What I was against was rushing to do that before we could define the problem" that needed solving.

So, as I was watching an old Flash crossover last night with the alien invasion, I wondered what Trump saw with aliens that he thought was reality, which gave him the idea to create a Space Force.

I also wondered what their song would be- the Star Wars theme or the Star Trek theme, since each branch of the service has a theme song.

[Destiny]

19 minutes ago, Audrey2 said:

So, as I was watching an old Flash crossover last night with the alien invasion, I wondered what Trump saw with aliens that he thought was reality, which gave him the idea to create a Space Force.

I LOVED that crossover! (There was altogether too much Iris, but what can you do?)

Do we think the Orange Menace knows TV isn't reality? 

[Audrey2]

51 minutes ago, Destiny said:

Do we think the Orange Menace knows TV isn't reality? 

Well, he does think that Sean Hannity does the news...

[47of74]

Yeah, fuck head is that stupid

Quote

Several times in the first year of his administration, President Donald Trump wanted to call Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe in the middle of the afternoon. But there was a problem. Midafternoon in Washington is the middle of the night in Tokyo — when Abe would be fast asleep.

Trump’s aides had to explain the issue, which one diplomatic source said came up on “a constant basis,” but it wasn’t easy.

“He wasn’t great with recognizing that the leader of a country might be 80 or 85 years old and isn’t going to be awake or in the right place at 10:30 or 11 p.m. their time,” said a former Trump NSC official. “When he wants to call someone, he wants to call someone. He’s more impulsive that way. He doesn’t think about what time it is or who it is,” added a person close to Trump.

Trump’s desire to call world leaders at awkward hours is just one of many previously unreported diplomatic faux pas Trump has made since assuming the presidency, which go beyond telephone etiquette to include misconceptions, mispronunciations and awkward meetings. Sometimes the foibles have been contained within the White House. In one case, Trump, while studying a briefer’s map of South Asia ahead of a 2017 meeting with India’s prime minister, mispronounced Nepal as “nipple” and laughingly referred to Bhutan as “button,” according to two sources with knowledge of the meeting.

 

[Cartmann99]

20 minutes ago, 47of74 said:

Yeah, fuck head is that stupid

Tonight on Hannity:

The International Date Line is a conspiracy by the Deep State!!!

 

[AmazonGrace]

This old tweet: 

1. He's considered giving Alaska to Putin. 

2. He thinks Putin gives a shit about EPA.  

[Rachel333]

[Rachel333]

3 hours ago, 47of74 said:

Yeah, fuck head is that stupid

 

Also from that story:

Quote

The president also "randomly" calls other world leaders without specific topics to discuss, leaving them confused as to why he reached out, a former national-security official told Politico, adding that Trump has a particularly "bizarre" interest in French President Emmanuel Macron.

Trump "wanted to talk to him constantly," the official said, adding that "Macron would be like: 'Hey, what are we talking about?'"

 

[AmazonGrace]

-Sup, buddy? 

-Nothing much, just some light governing, how about you? 

-The golf is going great but I don't like the news about me. 

-I know  the feeling. 

-I don't get it, everyone in my rallies loves me. 

-That's awesome. 

-What did you have for dinner today? 

-It's 5.30 am, I haven't had breakfast yet. 

-Fake news, I have the greatest watch in the world and it's  10 pm. 

-Right, I forgot. 

-Do you think Kim Jong Un really likes me?  

-He's the bomb 

-I want that Nobel prize. Can you get me a Nobel prize? 

-Sir this is McDonalds. 

-I want fries with that. 

[AmazonGrace]

 

[AmazonGrace]

 

[AmazonGrace]

When you surround yourself with crooks you have to quote the guy your lawyer called a pathological liar last week to prove that someone else is a liar, 

[Cartmann99]

Is next week when we start having people come back from the dead? These fights are getting kinda old.

 

[Alisamer]

53 minutes ago, Cartmann99 said:

Is next week when we start having people come back from the dead? These fights are getting kinda old.

 

Maybe we'll all wake up and Obama will step out of the White House shower and this will all have been a nightmare.

[Audrey2]

@Cartmann99 and @Alisamer, if we're bringing folks back from the dead, I vote for Teddy Roosevelt first. He'll open up a can of whoopass on Trump. Obama would use real words and large words to insult Trump, who wouldn't understand that he's being insulted.

[AmazonGrace]