Josiah and Lauren Part 10: First Look at the Wedding

[feministxtian]

Barcelona would be on my list. My grandfather is from there. Supposedly there's some old building with an inkstain on the side of it that my grandfather is responsible for...who knows if that's true. 

There's a town in Germany that I think is populated with relatives from my father's side. It seems to be the only other place in the world where my maiden name is remotely common. 

But, I don't see travelling  in my future...at least not outside the US. I REFUSE to apply for a passport under the current administration. 

[KelseyAnn]

I want to go to Romania/Transylvania and see all the haunted castles and forests. 

[singsingsing]

I actually thought he said ‘shack’ (like ‘shacking up’, I guess?)

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

there ya go

[Rachel333]

Subtitles aren't always accurate.

What was the context for that comment?

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

10 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

Subtitles aren't always accurate.

What was the context for that comment?

They were talking about courtship being dating with a purpose and it’s not “a one night shag”.

Jesus - I am DONE.

[Rachel333]

5 minutes ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

They were talking about courtship being dating with a purpose and it’s not “a one night shag”.

Jesus - I am DONE.

Yeah, I just went and found it, and I agree, that's exactly what it sounded like to me. I wonder if he knows what that means, because it's kind of startling to hear a Duggar say that!

Edit: On listening to it again, the "g" was a little soft and could be "shack," but either way it's unusual to hear that from a Duggar.

[llg1234]

Personally, whenever I hear the term shag used, I think of Austin Powers. 

Spoiler

 

 

[bananabread]

It amazes me that fundies seem to think there are only two paths when it comes to dating: completely chaste and supervised courtship, or "one-night shags."

Like...there are SO many other options. Some of which don't even require marrying virtual strangers and hoping it works out because you're never allowed to get divorced or have sex with anyone else ever again in your life.

[WiseGirl]

10 hours ago, SeekingAdventure said:

TBH, Connecticut I did not really find thaat much that really drew me there yet (sorry to locals, I don't mean it in a bad way) a

Haha! I live here, trust me skip New Haven and go to Mystic instead. Go see Dartmouth in New Hampshire instead of Yale. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

19 hours ago, bananabread said:

It amazes me that fundies seem to think there are only two paths when it comes to dating: completely chaste and supervised courtship, or "one-night shags."

Like...there are SO many other options. Some of which don't even require marrying virtual strangers and hoping it works out because you're never allowed to get divorced or have sex with anyone else ever again in your life.

Someone said it either earlier in this thread, or in another thread, that fundies are raised to believe everything is an absolute:  right and wrong, black and white, male and female roles, etc., and that made a lot of sense to me.  If you're raised to believe that life is a series of extreme either-or choices, then you don't have to think critically or question anything....you have to just make the 'good' choice, which has been drilled into your head since birth.  It also makes it easier for headships to control their broods.

Since I don't like the Duggars, I must be love the Kardashians, right?

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I live in Connecticut as well - after moving to Iowa (which I liked) and Illinois (which I hated) for about 6 years I'm delighted to be back.  Been back here 4 years and the shine isn't off the apple yet!  I agree with Mystic as a great place to visit, but I haven't been to Yale.  I'm a sucker for the Peabody Museum in New Haven even though it's small.

We like to take a big trip every year, starting with our honeymoon back in 2015.  We went to Greece for that - and I highly, highly recommend Meteora for anyone thinking about traveling to Greece.  I was so disappointed by Delphi, which I expected to be the highlight of the trip, because the people there seemed to really resent our presence and I felt unsafe in the evening walking back to our hotel after dinner thanks to a group of young men who started following us and laughing.  Our best trip was to Italy (Rome, Pompeii, Florence), and we also went to Ireland which was utterly beautiful but would have been enjoyed more if we'd brought a salt shaker.  We later read there was a big campaign there a few years ago to decrease the amount of salt in the food to improve health overall and not one meal we got there was satisfactory because of the salt thing.  We're going to Barcelona later this year and I can't WAIT.  I signed us up for a cooking class to learn how to make Paella.  I absolutely love cooking and can't believe I never thought to look for classes during any of our other trips.  Good thing Mr. GPC is always up for a new experience when traveling.

[justodd]

On 8/9/2018 at 4:30 AM, Mar said:

 I liked it too but I ended up being way more excited about Sacramento which I hardly knew anything about and which I visited without expecting anything.

I spent about three quarters of my life in Sacramento, and this is literally the first and only time I’ve ever seen someone say it excited them. 

 

(If anyone here has seen Ladybird, the thing about it that impressed me most was how well it captured just how much most people from Sacramento HATE being from Sacramento.)

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, justodd said:

I spent about three quarters of my life in Sacramento, and this is literally the first and only time I’ve ever seen someone say it excited them. 

 

(If anyone here has seen Ladybird, the thing about it that impressed me most was how well it captured just how much most people from Sacramento HATE being from Sacramento.)

Fellow Sacramento native here. I moved away for college at 17 and stayed in the Bay Area for 23 years, at which time my husband 's corporate office moved...to Sacramento. We lived outside of Sacramento for 9 years and then bumped all over the country for the last 9 years. We are now in our forever home in Santa Cruz County. My folks still live in Sacramento. My 82 YO dad has lived there, within a 2 mile radius, for his entire life.

[louisa05]

On 8/9/2018 at 10:03 PM, bananabread said:

It amazes me that fundies seem to think there are only two paths when it comes to dating: completely chaste and supervised courtship, or "one-night shags."

Like...there are SO many other options. Some of which don't even require marrying virtual strangers and hoping it works out because you're never allowed to get divorced or have sex with anyone else ever again in your life.

The ones I worked with were this way about everything. Alcohol: total abstinence or raging alcoholism. No in-between. Casinos: Never enter one or become a morally and literally bankrupt gambling addict. Cable television: Never subscribe or be watching porn 24/7........and on and on. So many of them have no concept of moderation. Or reality. 

[Mama Mia]

11 hours ago, louisa05 said:

The ones I worked with were this way about everything. Alcohol: total abstinence or raging alcoholism. No in-between. Casinos: Never enter one or become a morally and literally bankrupt gambling addict. Cable television: Never subscribe or be watching porn 24/7........and on and on. So many of them have no concept of moderation. Or reality. 

As a teen I hung out with a rough crowd. A fair number didn’t grow out of it and became addicts and alcoholics, criminals, gangbangers. A fair number of those went hard-core born-again religious evangelicals. ( at least for awhile, most toned it down eventually ). And they most definitely had that black and white all or nothing world view. I think it helped them stay clean / stay out of trouble.

Interestingly, most of them came from either Catholic or non- religious homes - don’t know what that meant with their relationship with their families - the new found anti- Catholic / need Jesus to go to Heaven views would be awful- but probably much easier for their family to deal with than the drugs / jail / etc.. Just realized that the born-again people, who had been the family trouble makers, would now be acting morally superior. Fascinating dynamics.

[louisa05]

@Mama Mia Oh, partying in college or high school and drinking a lot will turn you into an alcoholic for sure. But one sip will also do it. We had a principal there for a short time who would go on and on about all of his Catholic neighbors being alcoholics (I think they were just normal people who liked a beer at a bbq, but whatever) and blame it on them getting that one sip at church. 

My college roommate was raised in a strict evangelical home. She was taught that being somewhere where there was alcohol would turn her into an alcoholic as everyone there would FORCE her to drink. Now, I know that at high school parties and even college ones sometimes, peer pressure is a thing. But she carried this thought into adulthood. She was literally shocked that there was alcohol at my wedding reception and no one forced her or her husband to drink it. Apparently, she was expecting all of us 30+ year old adults to be chasing her around with a cup of beer or a champagne glass demanding that she drink it immediately or leave. 

She was also shocked that no one was visibly drunk at our wedding. She was over 35 years old and shocked that adults can have a drink without ending up falling down drunk. She was taught for her entire life that one sip would lead to bingeing until you passed out and waking up an alcoholic forever, and due to this had avoided any social occasion where there might be alcohol served for her entire life up until then. 

[Mama Mia]

10 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

@Mama Mia Oh, partying in college or high school and drinking a lot will turn you into an alcoholic for sure. But one sip will also do it. We had a principal there for a short time who would go on and on about all of his Catholic neighbors being alcoholics (I think they were just normal people who liked a beer at a bbq, but whatever) and blame it on them getting that one sip at church. 

My college roommate was raised in a strict evangelical home. She was taught that being somewhere where there was alcohol would turn her into an alcoholic as everyone there would FORCE her to drink. Now, I know that at high school parties and even college ones sometimes, peer pressure is a thing. But she carried this thought into adulthood. She was literally shocked that there was alcohol at my wedding reception and no one forced her or her husband to drink it. Apparently, she was expecting all of us 30+ year old adults to be chasing her around with a cup of beer or a champagne glass demanding that she drink it immediately or leave. 

She was also shocked that no one was visibly drunk at our wedding. She was over 35 years old and shocked that adults can have a drink without ending up falling down drunk. She was taught for her entire life that one sip would lead to bingeing until you passed out and waking up an alcoholic forever, and due to this had avoided any social occasion where there might be alcohol served for her entire life up until then. 

Wow, that’s incredibly intense. My husband was in recovery at the time  - and Holy Hell, the way he would lose his damn mind when our teens would do normal teen things. No sense of proportion what so ever. 

[RubyRei]

I’ve tried to catch up on this thread before commenting but at 10/21, I just can’t wait any longer!

I have a total 100% purely speculative with no actual facts to back it up thought that started after the extremely awkward post wedding video. Lauren’s breathing didn’t sound submissive or “keep sweet” to me, it sounded ill. Like asthma or something?

But then a few things have stuck out to me and made me wonder if I was actually onto something. In general, the way she talks seems to be like she’s reserving  her breath. We know she can’t eat gluten (not sure if the exact reason was ever stated). A lot of illnesses are connected to such gastrointestinal problems. Her age of her marriage isn’t that significant in fundie land, and I suppose neither are her vows but as many have pointed out, they seem very serious. Purposeful. She seems to have this calm and resigned way she wants to live her life (mostly to be the “godliest” and most “perfect” wife she can be). Lastly, the whole “if we can have kids” or however it was said, seemed less.... “if god blesses us with kids because you know we trust god above all” and more “if we are able to conceive through the blessing of god.” 

Okay, okay. I know what you all are thinking. Crazy lady speculation train. (Probably true). But my sister who passed away had cystic fibrosis and even though she was a balls to the walls heathen, I’ve seen similar attributes in the friends she had who also had cf (obvious breathing problems, calm yet set determination to live best life possible, questionable ability to have kids). I’m not saying she has CF or any serious illness or is even sick at all. 

It’s just a feeling I got since that video and haven’t been able to shake. At the very least for everyone who thinks I’m being nice absurd overstepper for speculation, at least you can have a good laugh at my potential crazy 

[singsingsing]

@RubyRei I believe Josiah said that she had a gluten intolerance. The others also said she really tries to eat healthy. I can't speculate too much on that. It could be anything from a medically necessary diet to just being really into the 'clean eating' thing. 

One thing that can cause shortness of breath or 'the sighs' is anemia. Hopefully she's been tested for that (I say that only because I would hope they've all been screened for that, not because I'm trying to internet diagnose her). Another reason for sounding a bit breathless could be simple nervousness. If you're not that great a speaker and you're not good at regulating your voice and breathing, AND you're nervous...

[RubyRei]

@singsingsing Thanks for your input and also reminding me about the gluten intolerant diagnosis! I also am not trying to be an internet diagnostician and hesitated to post that because it is a serious thing to conjecture about. I just saw a lot of speculation about that video in particular with one or two questions of “is she okay?” and I just sort of wanted to throw that nagging feeling out there. I hope it isn’t taken the wrong way (as in omg shes dying!!) but rather conjecture for seemingly odd or unusual behaviors. 

[SeekingAdventure]

I find the black/white thinking so worrying tbh.

 

My aunt has a serious alcohol problem, to the point where I actually found her at a local party (that usually is more for the younger crowd, say 16-30) passed out. She shouldn't have been there in the first place (not because of her age, I didn't really care about that, but because she had already been pissed drunk in the middle of the afternoon after chugging wine with her friends, and had been brought to bed by her husband (who also has some problems with alcohol..)

It was not the most amazing feeling in the world to have to call the ambulance and then my dad (her brother), to tell them what happened, in the middle of the night, when I was 17. 

My mum has this thing (she alwaya had it) to always remind me not to drink if I told her that I was going out, because if I drank I'd be like my aunt Kate. So basically there was no trust that I wouldn't know better than to stop myself from getting completely wasted just because I wanted to celebrate my graduation with friends?

[nastyhobbitses]

1 hour ago, RubyRei said:

Okay, okay. I know what you all are thinking. Crazy lady speculation train. (Probably true). But my sister who passed away had cystic fibrosis and even though she was a balls to the walls heathen, I’ve seen similar attributes in the friends she had who also had cf (obvious breathing problems, calm yet set determination to live best life possible, questionable ability to have kids). I’m not saying she has CF or any serious illness or is even sick at all. 

I think if she had CF, they would be milking that shit for all it's worth as a storyline. Look at Josiah marrying the Ill Consumptive Invalid! They'd turn it into Fundie Moulin Rouge. Kiss....hand....diamonds, special friend...

 

I just assumed the breathiness was a misguided attempt to sound sexy/submissive, tbh. 

[Rachel333]

She doesn't have that breathy voice when she's not around Josiah, so I don't think it's natural for her.

[RubyRei]

13 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I think if she had CF, they would be milking that shit for all it's worth as a storyline. Look at Josiah marrying the Ill Consumptive Invalid! They'd turn it into Fundie Moulin Rouge. Kiss....hand....diamonds, special friend...

 

I just assumed the breathiness was a misguided attempt to sound sexy/submissive, tbh. 

Yeah I definitely don’t think she has CF, just using my experience to explain my thought process.