Josiah and Lauren Part 10: First Look at the Wedding

[nickelodeon]

Why is it specifically "first look with daddy" and not "first look with both parents"? Therein lies the weirdness/patriarchy vibes for me.

[VBOY9977]

13 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

Why is it specifically "first look with daddy" and not "first look with both parents"? Therein lies the weirdness/patriarchy vibes for me.

I think they put an emphasis on the dad because the mom is usually at the bridal shop helping the girl pic out the dress, and on the wedding day she helps her get into the dress and is with her while she’s getting ready. While the dad usually sees his daughter for the first time on her dress the day of the wedding and when she’s already all dressed up.

[Chickenbutt]

2 hours ago, Knight of Ni said:

I think it’s creepy in the same way their father daughter dances are.

What's creepy about a father daughter dance? Are mother son dances creepy too? Not being snarky here, just curious.

[AprilQuilt]

31 minutes ago, Chickenbutt said:

What's creepy about a father daughter dance? Are mother son dances creepy too? Not being snarky here, just curious.

 

[MargaretElliott]

I agree with @curlykate's comments on the first look with dad being... a little off. Normally, there is nothing weird or creepy about having a first look with dad, or the father/daughter dance. It's sweet and traditional and a show of appreciation from the bride to her father, as he has supported and raised her all her life. Nothing strange about it at all. Very wholesome.

BUT with these fundies, and with patriarchal culture in general, fathers are bizarrely possessive of their daughter's sexuality. He is her headship, and she is practically owned by him. At her wedding, she's going from one "headship" (owner, IMO) to another one. That's what makes it uncomfortable. Because it's so clearly drawing the parallel between father and husband. First her sexuality is the property of her father- it's his job to control her exposure to men, prohibit her from forming romantic relationships, and make sure she's "pure." Then, her sexuality is the property of her husband- she is expected to submit and be joyfully available, regardless of her own feelings. She has no bodily autonomy whatsoever, her husband controls what happens to her body, whether it's sex or pregnancy (or both). 

With a normal father/daughter relationship, a first look or a first dance is a show of love and appreciation. With patriarchal fundies, it's a show of power, and it's reinforced that the men in her life hold that power, and she has none.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

did anyone notice JBoob and Mechell did not have the loving parent advice we are soooo proud of you talk with Josiah?  They did with all the others.  I wonder why.

[sleepy_doggos]

At her wedding, she's going from one "headship" (owner, IMO) to another one. That's what makes it uncomfortable. Because it's so clearly drawing the parallel between father and husband. First her sexuality is the property of her father- it's his job to control her exposure to men, prohibit her from forming romantic relationships, and make sure she's "pure." Then, her sexuality is the property of her husband- she is expected to submit and be joyfully available, regardless of her own feelings. She has no bodily autonomy whatsoever, her husband controls what happens to her body, whether it's sex or pregnancy (or both). 
With a normal father/daughter relationship, a first look or a first dance is a show of love and appreciation. With patriarchal fundies, it's a show of power, and it's reinforced that the men in her life hold that power, and she has none.

This. This is what you have said so elegantly. It is totally natural and sweet for Lauren and her father to have a close relationship, but it gave off vibes of this phenomenon-- the ownership. It also made me wonder how much Lauren married Josiah in order to please her dad, whom she so clearly loves.
Their connection doesn't seem strong at all without the influence of her father. He mentored Josiah for years (years of phone calls) and possibly came up with him as a match for Lauren as she came of age.

[farmerannie]

This how topic is how I finally starting coming out of fundiedom. My ex wanted to buy our daughters purity rings and the guys to ask permission to date them. No it's not as bad as courting, but my ex never asked my parents if he could date me lol. And i was like hell no my girls aren't property, I'm not gonna let them be treated like I was.

[metheglyn]

2 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

did anyone notice JBoob and Mechell did not have the loving parent advice we are soooo proud of you talk with Josiah?  They did with all the others.  I wonder why.

They probably did, we've just only seen 20 minutes or so of the wedding footage so far. When we get the inevitable 1.5-2 hour full episode I'm sure there will be plenty of "advice" from JB&M crammed in there somewhere. I suspect TLC just acknowledged that taking up several "precious" minutes of the short clips with relationship blather from JB&M is not the best use of that time if they want people to keep watching the show.

Viewers most wanted to see the dress, the wedding party, the venue, the vows, and the AMAZING FIRST KISS (!!!! HAHA ?). Those are the things that would get the best press (maybe) and result in the greatest change of further interest from viewers, rather than questionable suggestions from the crazy parents.

[metheglyn]

 

2 hours ago, metheglyn said:

Those are the things that would get the best press (maybe) and result in the greatest change of further interest from viewers, rather than questionable suggestions from the crazy parents.

Right, that was supposed to be "the greatest CHANCE of further interest". I'm not expecting any changes to happen, sadly.

[Jannah]

On 8/21/2018 at 10:15 PM, bal maiden said:

Did you go to AC? 

No, I went to CCB

[Knight of Ni]

22 hours ago, Chickenbutt said:

What's creepy about a father daughter dance? Are mother son dances creepy too? Not being snarky here, just curious.

Oops slightly mis -worded that one. I meant there’s nothing creepy about father daughter dances. The fundies make them creepy when they turn them into purity balls. 

[Chickenbutt]

Thank you for responding. I couldn't for the life of me think why a father/daughter or mother/son dance at a wedding was creepy. But then again I am looking at it from a non fundie point of view. 

[Lurky]

Do we know where Josiah and Lauren are living yet?  I hope it's not the flat in the furniture warehouse, but it seems weird if it's not been shared.

[Tryamon]

On 8/11/2018 at 12:27 PM, justodd said:

I spent about three quarters of my life in Sacramento, and this is literally the first and only time I’ve ever seen someone say it excited them. 

Born and raised myself. I left at 22 and haven’t been back but once. 

I say I was raised in Northern California. That’s generally enough for most people  

 

[TheMustardCardigan]

Not sure how to link instagram posts so that people can see the photo embedded into the forum but Josiah has a new photo posted today. Link here.  It seems like Lauren is also posting from the account, according to the caption. Why doesn't she have her own account? The username doesn't even reflect that it's an instagram they'll both be posting to the way Austin and Joy's insta does.

 

I think it's weird how some of the  younger Duggar couples have gone the route of the shared account (or I guess no account at all still for Joe and Kendra). You'd think they'd all want their own accounts, at very least to promote the brand, market the show, and get content out there.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

1 hour ago, TheMustardCardigan said:

I think it's weird how some of the  younger Duggar couples have gone the route of the shared account (or I guess no account at all still for Joe and Kendra). You'd think they'd all want their own accounts, at very least to promote the brand, market the show, and get content out there.

Other than Jessa, I don't think the young couples realize the family is a brand.  Sure, Jill the inept mommy blogger is trying to put herself out there, but she's marketing herself, not the Duggar brand.  JoKen do have a website, but it's just pictures of their engagement, wedding, and Garrett.  The standard Duggar fare, which has already been shown on TV.  I'm trying to figure out what the point of the website is, other than them not wanting to dive into social media (can't say I blame them).

The kidults are used to shit being handed to them.  They get taken care of as long as they do their trained monkey bit.  If they truly thought like business people, there would be a lot more marketing/promotion in their online presence.  Boob's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he knows how to hustle.  That trait apparently didn't get passed down to most of his children.

 

[Sky with diamonds]

1 hour ago, TheMustardCardigan said:

Not sure how to link instagram posts so that people can see the photo embedded into the forum but Josiah has a new photo posted today. Link here.  It seems like Lauren is also posting from the account, according to the caption. Why doesn't she have her own account? The username doesn't even reflect that it's an instagram they'll both be posting to the way Austin and Joy's insta does.

 

I think it's weird how some of the  younger Duggar couples have gone the route of the shared account (or I guess no account at all still for Joe and Kendra). You'd think they'd all want their own accounts, at very least to promote the brand, market the show, and get content out there.

Shared accounts make me roll my eyes. When fundies share accounts, my eyes so much, they might fall out. 

[Bethella]

3 hours ago, Lurky said:

Do we know where Josiah and Lauren are living yet?  I hope it's not the flat in the furniture warehouse, but it seems weird if it's not been shared.

No, we don’t know where they’re living yet. But it took a while to confirm where Joe & Kendra are living too.

[Satan'sFortress]

Her outfit is pretty cute in that picture.  I am partial to that 50s retro style. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

3 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Her outfit is pretty cute in that picture.  I am partial to that 50s retro style. 

I think she could succesfully amp up her social media presence if Si is on board.  Her whole family moved several states away so they could be close to the Duggars and the exposure that would bring...she knows how her bread is buttered.  I can see her succeeding where Jill and even Jessa have not.

[AtlanticTug]

If they step up their posting in the next 2-3 weeks I'm going to call a pregnancy announcement. As it is, I'm betting she's already knocked up. I mean, why the hell not.

[roadkill_deity]

3 hours ago, Tryamon said:

Born and raised myself. I left at 22 and haven’t been back but once. 

I say I was raised in Northern California. That’s generally enough for most people  

 

Greetings, fellow Sacramentans! 

[TheMustardCardigan]

2 hours ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

Other than Jessa, I don't think the young couples realize the family is a brand.  Sure, Jill the inept mommy blogger is trying to put herself out there, but she's marketing herself, not the Duggar brand.  JoKen do have a website, but it's just pictures of their engagement, wedding, and Garrett.  The standard Duggar fare, which has already been shown on TV.  I'm trying to figure out what the point of the website is, other than them not wanting to dive into social media (can't say I blame them).

The kidults are used to shit being handed to them.  They get taken care of as long as they do their trained monkey bit.  If they truly thought like business people, there would be a lot more marketing/promotion in their online presence.  Boob's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he knows how to hustle.  That trait apparently didn't get passed down to most of his children.

 

This is a really good point! Perhaps a lot of them just don't see how they are not tapping into the true value of their social media presence. It's just crazy to me because their lifestyles are all about not having traditional jobs. You'd think they'd see this as an easy way to make some cash, not to mention a fundie-approved one for women because it can mostly center around babies and Jesus and they don't even have to leave home to do it.

[just_ordinary]

Or maybe they are just not interested in Social Media. There is no need to built up a great web presence. Yes, they make easy money with the show but non of them seem to be really into the show. They just take it as long as it flows. If you don’t want to be an successful Influencer (or whatever people call themselves now)there is no need to have any Social Media Presence. I actually think JoyStin and JoKen don’t see the show as their main job. Don’t know about Josiah and Lauren. Jessa in the other hand clearly is active and she has a rather prominent role in the show even though she is not courting/engaged/newlywed, pregnant or as anything else interesting going on.

I guess my comments might be a bit confusing (it is to me) as I am trying to explain my POV at 5am. What I want to say- I have no opinion on shared accounts and I actually prefer if people don’t have a social media presence if they are not really interested in it.