Life in a shoe-How to deal with Social workers at your door.

[starfish]

"Vaccines are not the devil, but they are not a magic pill either."

They are the greatest success story of public health in the last century.

[LIzzieB]

I got parapertussis at 8. It's a related, more mild disease than pertussis, and is different enough that vaccines don't protect against it. I'd already entered the coughing stage so we couldn't do much but prevent me from spreading it and let it run its course. I coughed so hard that my legs would buckle and I'd end up curled up on the floor as I rode out the coughs. Mind you, this is the MILD, HARMLESS variation of whooping cough.

Me too! It was hideous. I had it at age 12, in the summer holidays, no less (boooo!). I would cough so much that I would end up vomiting. I still remember the panicked feeling of being in a coughing fit and just not being able to get any air in. Being an asthmatic kid who was prone to lung conditions, I was still weak for a few months afterwards, not being able to run or even swim 10m. I could not believe that this was the mild version and has reinforced my belief in universal vaccination for the real deal. My mother, a child health worker, contracted whooping cough in her 50s, we assume from a non-vaxed child, and was sick for months.

The one downside of the extensive and successful vaccination programs is that people my age (30s) have never seen these diseases first-hand, and so underestimate how severe they are. The reality is that you are in far more danger of being brain-damaged by one of these diseases than by a vaccination. We have a responsibility to be fully vaccinated and immune to protect those immuno-challenged people who can't be vaccinated.

Sorry - we've gone a bit off-topic, but I really believe that we ALL need to be a little bit accountable to each other to protect everyone. It is right that homeschoolers should have to report to a governing body, to ensure ALL homeschoolers are receiving a good education. Likewise, we should also not be afraid of CPS investigators if we have nothing to hide, as they are there to protect those whose parents maybe do.

[emmiedahl]

The more I here about abuse, the more I think that we should have some sort of yearly inspections for parents. Even in public school children it can go on for years without being caught. I would eagerly open my home to social workers on a regular basis if I knew it was helping to prevent some of the horror stories I hear.

Whenever these things come on the news, it is impossible not to imagine just for a moment: what if your own child was treated like this? Heartbreaking. Can I start a petition somewhere? Would it even matter?

[Guest Anonymous]

The more I here about abuse, the more I think that we should have some sort of yearly inspections for parents. Even in public school children it can go on for years without being caught. I would eagerly open my home to social workers on a regular basis if I knew it was helping to prevent some of the horror stories I hear.

Whenever these things come on the news, it is impossible not to imagine just for a moment: what if your own child was treated like this? Heartbreaking. Can I start a petition somewhere? Would it even matter?

I live in Oregon and every year we see home school children die or suffer from abuse and neglect. I've long been a proponent of homeschool 'inspections' or field visits. Unfortunately its never made it to the ballot here. And kids keep dying.

[ChickeyMonkey]

My parents once told me that when I was learning to walk, I'd fall and hit my head on one corner of the coffee table. Of course I'd never hit my head on anything else. I'd be fine, but they'd take me to the hospital just in case. Apparently this happened so many times the doctors began to wonder if my parents were abusing me. They weren't, but they were still a bit freaked out about being accused of abuse.

I can understand being rather nervous about CPS coming in- we hear so many myths about CPS taking a kid away for the silliest reasons. I'd rather have an overzealous CPS than one that didn't do much of anything. And we have to think about where these stories come from. Parents hit their kid to punish them, CPS comes around not long after, oh noes, CPS will put your kid in foster care for spanking them! That's not true, especially in the vast majority of cases. If you're so scared about CPS coming that you actually HIDE YOUR KIDS for 3 days and link to some bullshit from attorneys in Texas... you might want to re-think your parenting techniques.

The "bedroom" those kids are in is just awful. What the fuck? Even getting past the shelves, the walls don't reach the ceiling, and the floor is clearly unfinished. There's stuff behind the wall that's poking into the bedroom. How do the kids get on the top bunks? What if they fall?

Isn't this also the lady who made a bed-wetting child sleep on the floor?

Why didn't your parents remove the coffee table or put some foam on the corners? Not being snarky, just curious. You'd think they would've tried to cushion the area if they couldn't remove the coffee table. Just sayin'... :think:

[ChickeyMonkey]

Oh yes, the "horror" of being immune to diseases that are now treatable, if not curable.

Do these fucktards not understand that people ACTUALLY DIED from that shit decades ago, and many of those diseases are still rampant in less-developed parts of the world? Do they not realize they're depending on herd immunity to LITERALLY STAY ALIVE?!

:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

I was talking to my pharmacist about her upcoming wedding and asked how many siblings she has. She's Vietnamese, born in VN but came here when she was very young, I believe. She said she has 4 living siblings. One sibling drowned when escaping by boat after Saigon fell, and the other died from the chicken pox when they still lived in VN. So yes, you CAN die from childhood illnesses.

And if these "horror of vaccination" believers think vaccinating their children is so horrible, how about if their kids get chicken pox as an adult? It's much more serious to have the disease as an adult than it is as a child. My ex-step dad was hospitalized when he caught the chicken pox from my brother and sister. The lesions were in his lungs (and he's a smoker - not a good combo). My mom also got the chicken pox from my brother and sister, but she wasn't hospitalized. She WAS miserable though! She also had the mumps, as did my husband (he's older than me). They were both miserable when they had it.

But, it's their choice to not have their kids get vaccinated. I just don't want to hear any crying if their kids have serious complications from contracting a preventable-through-vaccination disease. That's fair, right?

[gustava]

I was talking to my pharmacist about her upcoming wedding and asked how many siblings she has. She's Vietnamese, born in VN but came here when she was very young, I believe. She said she has 4 living siblings. One sibling drowned when escaping by boat after Saigon fell, and the other died from the chicken pox when they still lived in VN. So yes, you CAN die from childhood illnesses.

And if these "horror of vaccination" believers think vaccinating their children is so horrible, how about if their kids get chicken pox as an adult? It's much more serious to have the disease as an adult than it is as a child. My ex-step dad was hospitalized when he caught the chicken pox from my brother and sister. The lesions were in his lungs (and he's a smoker - not a good combo). My mom also got the chicken pox from my brother and sister, but she wasn't hospitalized. She WAS miserable though! She also had the mumps, as did my husband (he's older than me). They were both miserable when they had it.

But, it's their choice to not have their kids get vaccinated. I just don't want to hear any crying if their kids have serious complications from contracting a preventable-through-vaccination disease. That's fair, right?

And since most of the non-vaxers have no insurance, I'll be paying for their children's medical care....by a college-educated heathen, most likely.

[Angri-la]

I have to chime in here. I am grateful for CPS. CPS doggedly kept at my beautiful little girl's birth "mother", a meth addicted prostitute, who neither wanted nor cared for her beautiful child. Birth "mother" didn't even know she was pregnant with until she delivered. It took the case worker almost a year to get my girl out of that hell hole, upon being notified of the situation. I plan on sending that beautiful Social Worker a card every year on the anniversary of Ladybug's adoption; I owe her the greatest joy of my life.

Speaking of Ladybug, she just asked me what I was doing, and I said I was talking to my "grown up computer friends" about her, and she made me promise that I would say "Hi Mommy's Grown up Computer Friends!" for her. There you go: a CPS success story.

[Linnea]

Now you have to tell her that your grownup computer friends say "Hi [Ladybug]!"

(Please substitute whatever her actual name is.)

[brashchick]

Hi, Ladybug !!

[Angri-la]

Ladybug was squealing with delight! Thanks, ladies! (and I call her Ladybug--it suits her). She said she "can't wait until she gets big and can talk with her hands to grown ups". I hope she will find her own place on the internet, and that it is populated with women like those on FJ!

I agree that only those with something to hide have an issue with CPS. They visit me monthly, and I welcome the social workers with open arms. My house may not be fundie SAHM sparkling, but it is warm and filled with love, and my girl sleeps in a real bed, not on shelves from Costco, and eats healthy meals, and will grow up to be whatever she wishes.

[Austin]

Hi, Ladybug! Sweet baby.

[MrsKay]

We don't vaccinate. I'm very torn on the whole vax thing; I think they're great inventions that have saved countless lives. However, the genes in our family, thus far, do not mix well with vaccines. I have high-functioning autism, a son with severe autism, and a daughter with some Aspie traits, and my view on the whole thing, after a lot of observation and thought, is that vaccines don't cause autism. However, in individuals who have autism, I DO believe, after seeing and experiencing it, that vaccines (and anything else that enters the body, including the most common foods) can trigger or worsen comorbid autism traits. My ideal move, at this current point in time, would be to test every newborn, much the same way as they are tested for things like PKU, for the genetic component responsible for autism; babies who test positive would be noted. Parents would make informed decisions, as best as possible, in regards to vaccinations etc. I doubt that would ever wipe out autism, but it's just a brain fart that I had. Anyhow, we don't vax, and that's a big part of the background.

We've been reported to CAS (CPS, whatever you want to call it where you live) for malicious reasons. I'll admit, as much as I knew I had nothing to hide or fear, I was almost shitting myself. I have a very nervous, anxious personality, and the very idea of losing my kids makes me ill. However, on each occasion (the same people called each time, hoping we'd eventually somehow fuck up and lose our kids), I invited the workers in, spoke as openly and candidly as possible, showed them every nook and cranny including the full fridge, freezer and cupboards, along with the sleeping and living areas, etc. If there was a child around, I invited the child to come and chat with "Mommy's friend", without interfering with the conversation. If I knew there were any bumps or scrapes, I addressed them and explained what happened, if I could recall. I gave names and numbers for personal reference, and signed release forms for doctors, whoever had any info that would make things easier.

Now, I'm not a very organized person. My older son (the one with autism) is very destructive and messy, and cleaning my house is like shoveling the driveway in a blizzard. I generally close doors when company comes, because there's usually clean, unfolded laundry and/or toys piled up.

However, my kids are clean, dressed in clothes that fit and aren't rags, with no physical trauma aside from your general playground injuries. My house may be messy, but there is no FILTH, no rotten food, feces, or anything that might be a health hazard. I'm totally open about our non-Christian beliefs, non-vax policy, etc.

The initial visits never amounted to a thing. The workers realized that the kids were happy and healthy, provided for, with sane and loving parents and a safe environment that met every need. That's all that they were concerned about. A fit parent should have no trouble meeting those needs, or seeking/accepting help to meet those needs.

I also have a history of PPD, and when my last child was born, the hospital social worker offered to set us up with a visiting nurse and someone - I can't recall where they were from - who would help us make sure the baby and I were doing well, and also to help us in our suddenly reduced circumstances, accessing local resources etc. (DH lost his job around the time I gave birth, when things were already tight). Initially, the gut instinct to be terrified kicked in again, but I knew they were there to help. I also knew that if I ended up with PPD again, I could very well miss the signs myself, and didn't want to put my kids at risk of any neglect or harm, as unlikely as I thought it would be. And as for help with finances, things for the kids, etc.... I had to suck it up and swallow my pride, and I graciously accepted the help. If you love your kids, as fundies say they do, then you do everything you can, no matter how humbling it may be, to make sure they're okay. And everyone knocked themselves out to help us get back on our feet and keep our family intact, even with my mental health issues, non-vax stance, non-Christian beliefs, etc. We're SO far from the typical ideal family on television, that it seriously makes me wonder wtf people are trying to hide.

Sorry for the ramble, but that's my praise for social workers et al. and my intolerance for people who damn well KNOW that they risk losing their kids with the crappy lives they make them live.

[JesusFightClub]

Angri-la, please tell Ladybug hi from Scotland :) I have told many people your story and they all find it so touching and send you, husband and Ms ladybug best wishes. I admit reading your story I cried a bit...it was so nice.

In re vax, my dad had TB when he was a baby and was in an isolation ward. He never connected properly with his family because of that. Lack of vaccination has more than immediate effects.

[MrsKay]

Another thought: it could be a good idea for parents to have to memorize Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs - if everyone followed it, there would be no CPS worries (we learned it in parenting class in high school). Too bad it's not Biblical.

Also, HI! to Ladybug, from Canada! :D

[MonkeyMomma]

Ladybug was squealing with delight! Thanks, ladies! (and I call her Ladybug--it suits her). She said she "can't wait until she gets big and can talk with her hands to grown ups". I hope she will find her own place on the internet, and that it is populated with women like those on FJ!

I agree that only those with something to hide have an issue with CPS. They visit me monthly, and I welcome the social workers with open arms. My house may not be fundie SAHM sparkling, but it is warm and filled with love, and my girl sleeps in a real bed, not on shelves from Costco, and eats healthy meals, and will grow up to be whatever she wishes.

Thank God Ladybug has you for a mama. How easy it is for people to forget that CPS doesn't exist to snoop in fundies' lives, but to SAVE CHILDREN. Tell her "Hi" from Wisconsin!

[Bookworm]

How cute! *Waves to Ladybug*

[Hane]

Tell Ladybug that a nice grandma in Connecticut and her cute puppy Tippy say"hi!"

[Angri-la]

Thanks everyone! I am the lucky one. She was so excited when I read her your posts; we talked about other states and countries, wait, did I just home school? :) I appreciate all of your wonderful wishes, as I dragged you all along on my personal journey. It has been the greatest experience of my life.

I feel, obviously, quite passionately about CPS, and I have seen them in action. They don't want to take children away if they don't have to, but they believe every child deserves the right to love.

Sorry to derail, but sometimes we have personal stories that line up with topis,, and I have the beautiful reminder coloring flowers on the floor next to me.

[starfish]

Hi to Ladybug from Texas!

Ya'll just made my day.

[Sola]

Hi Ladybug from the UK! Oh and Little Miss Sola says hello too!

[Effie]

Say hi to Ladybug from Sweden!

Ps. I love your story, Angri-la. It makes me motivated to finish my social work degree.

[Guest Anonymous]

"Shwmae" from Wales, Ladybug! And congratulations Angri La for making such a beautiful family xx

[Koala]

Love the story of Angri La and Ladybug! So glad you guys found each other!

Hi from Alabama Ladybug!

[AnnoDomini]

I talked to my mother, who says HSLDA is not based in TX but in our state, and they employ lawyers who are licensed to work in the state needed. Is HSLDA different from what's been discussed here?

On a side note, I found out my mother is a regular reader of raisingolives and lifeinashoe. I can't find her comments though.