Raquel Strikes Again

[mango_fandango]

People who mock me don’t get it

I am super speshul

With my chocolate coloured eyes

I am super speshul

God gave me a horse because 

I am super speshul

I have such a gift with pomes and

I am super speshul

Only MY ferret is orange as

I am super speshul

My name is Raquel and

I am super speshul 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

I wrote a poem with the title "Me"

When I was in high school.

Since then, I've written 3 or 4 others

That also have "Me" in the title.

And even with that title

They're still less self-centered

Than one of Raquel's pomes.

written in 2 minutes

[AmazonGrace]

Written in two minutes 

counting syllables is hard

I put "me" in "pome"

Edited April 21, 2019 by AmazonGrace

[AmazonGrace]

Today I have learned

that essential oils are not

truly essential

[AmazonGrace]

my day was horrible and i thought it couldn't get any worse

then i got home and found a note

seriously, normal people would just text me

also have i mentioned that i'm pretty

Spoiler

 

 

 

Edited April 22, 2019 by AmazonGrace

[formergothardite]

My day was a blur

I didn't think it could get any worse

But just as I walked into my bedroom

Happy to finally be home

A piece of paper caught my eye

Lying against my pillow

I reached for it with trepidation 

My eyes widened with fear when I saw your handwriting

My body felt cold with terror as I read your words

"Not only are you a badass, but you're drop gorgeous too."

Drop gorgeous? What does that even mean?

And how did you get into my room to leave this note? 

 

[AmazonGrace]

1 minute ago, formergothardite said:

Drop gorgeous? What does that even mean?

And how did you get into my room to leave this note? 

 

Honey  either it's the room service or they slept together.

[formergothardite]

5 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Honey  either it's the room service or they slept together.

My pure mind cannot comprehend such things! Someone get me the fainting couch!

[Petronella]

53 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

my day was horrible and i thought it couldn't get any worse

then i got home and found a note

seriously, normal people would just text me

also have i mentioned that i'm pretty

  Hide contents

 

 

 

Oh my goodness. How is this even a poem? There’s no insight, no examination of detail, no felicity of expression, no surprise or depth or story. It would barely qualify as a Facebook post.

[AmazonGrace]

"possibly because

             i wrote this in two minutes

                             and did not edit"

[catlady]

2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Drop gorgeous? What does that even mean?

i initially thought this was a typo, then i realized that It's Just Raquel.

[AmazonGrace]

She is special because she has experienced emotions.

Spoiler

A lot of people believe that "to deeply feel things" means that you are overly sensitive.  Or that you can be easily offended, or misinterpret things said to or about you.  But I tend to disagree with this.  Why?  Because I deem myself as a sensitive person.  And it's not because I fit those descriptions, but merely because I feel very deeply.  It took a long time for me to understand what that meant, but once I did, my heart and my mind kind of clicked.

You see, I have discovered myself being sensitive to feelings in the fact that I can find significance in the smallest things.  I find beauty in the details.  I feel happy over little pleasures.  Warm beds in cold rooms, shiny crystals, tiny plants, a stack of books, a baby's smile, the way the sunlight fills a space, a delicious smelling cup of coffee. These are all things that a lot of people could see a million times in a day, but perceptive and emotional people will truly notice them, and feel something based on what they behold.

 

Drop gorgeous is scarier because you focus on the missing dead part.

[clueliss]

I'm mentally stuck a page or so back on 'how the hell did the horse get doused in EO's????"

[Terrie]

Okay, her "all about how awesome I am" poem bugs me. Your skin is as smooth as cotton sheets. What the hell does this even mean? It makes it sound like she woke up with the weave of the cloth imprinted on her face. 

[Flossie]

Seriously, what does it look like when a person this vapid and narcissistic look like when they're 75?

Do they have photo albums of themselves photoshopped with celebrities and make excuses for why they never call?

Do they send flowers to themselves and claim they're from prominent people who aren't allowed to visit due to security concerns?

Does their family never visit because they're in Witness Protection?

She won't even be able to keep a pet because:

* The dogs run off when they realize they'll be blamed for every fart and burp, they'll have to wear OTT outfits, they'll never get taken for walks, and she's calling them by the name of her latest celebrity crush while expecting them to eat her broccoli and take her meds for her instead of feeding them.

* The cats stalk off when they realize she can't be trained and are offended by her lack of scritches and she tries to hide her meds in their wet food.

* The birds starve to death when she covers their cage and forgets to uncover it again.  Ever.

* The goldfish die when she poisons their water by throwing her meds in it.  Or they watch what happens to the dogs, cats, and birds, and toss themselves out of the water for a quick death on the floor while she's busy photoshopping herself into pictures with the latest celebrity.

* They all think the horse got off lucky.

[Georgiana]

6 hours ago, Terrie said:

Okay, her "all about how awesome I am" poem bugs me. Your skin is as smooth as cotton sheets. What the hell does this even mean? It makes it sound like she woke up with the weave of the cloth imprinted on her face. 

Also, cotton sheets come in various qualities.  Without a thread count, we really don't know if the skin is smooth or soft.  I've had the misfortune of experiencing some budget sheets that would NOT be a compliment.

Now, "satin sheets" and not only do we get alliteration, but we are left in no doubt as to the feeling of the skin.  "Skin as smooth as satin sheets" flows nicely.  "Cotton sheets" definitely sounds like the first draft of a high school pome where the teacher would encourage the author to think more carefully about this line.  

[Petronella]

12 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

A lot of people believe that "to deeply feel things" means that you are overly sensitive.  Or that you can be easily offended, or misinterpret things said to or about you.  But I tend to disagree with this.  Why?  Because I deem myself as a sensitive person.  And it's not because I fit those descriptions, but merely because I feel very deeply.  It took a long time for me to understand what that meant, but once I did, my heart and my mind kind of clicked.

You see, I have discovered myself being sensitive to feelings in the fact that I can find significance in the smallest things.  I find beauty in the details.  I feel happy over little pleasures.  Warm beds in cold rooms, shiny crystals, tiny plants, a stack of books, a baby's smile, the way the sunlight fills a space, a delicious smelling cup of coffee. These are all things that a lot of people could see a million times in a day, but perceptive and emotional people will truly notice them, and feel something based on what they behold.

(This is AmazonGrace quoting Raquel.)

How can she honestly believe that she feels things while others don’t? That’s just bizarre. EVERYONE FEELS THINGS, Raquel.

I suspect that it looks this way to her because she doesn’t see people going on and on and ON about what they feel. In part this is likely because other people don’t want to talk to her much, and when they do, she doesn’t listen.

Ugh, I know someone like this. Barely lets me get a word in, and when I do she either one-ups it (tries to, anyway) or just ignores/forgets it. My individuality simply doesn’t exist to her.

Also, I bet all those people not writing poems about how their coffee smells are doing other things—working, studying, raising a family, etc. Y’know, picking up a coffee on their way somewhere, or sitting down in the shop to work on something. It’s easy to focus on FEELING THINGS when you have little else to do.

And how does she know people aren’t writing about their feelings when they roll up to the coffee shop with a laptop? She just assumes so because she’s already decided she’s SPECIAL.

The best thing she could do for her writing would be to take an actual interest in the rest of humanity.

[Petronella]

I’m writing again to be a tad kinder toward one possibility:

I do know what it’s like to live somewhere where you just don’t fit in. When I was an aspiring writer from the New York area and then moved to the Silicon Valley suburbs for my husband’s job, that was hard! The people around us mainly didn’t share my interests, and that was isolating and disheartening. Now we live in a university town where the arts abound, and it’s a much better fit.

But that never meant that I was superspecial, or that other people didn’t feel things. Also, Raquel seems to be the ultra-embodiment of Pacific Northwest hipster, so I’m not sure how this can possibly apply to her.

Also-also: the internet. If she’s participating in some kind of organized poetry thing on Instagram, isn’t she then connected with hundreds of people also feeling things? Does she think she’s more special than all of them too? Does she even read their contributions?

[dripcurl]

1 hour ago, Petronella said:

(This is AmazonGrace quoting Raquel.)

How can she honestly believe that she feels things while others don’t? That’s just bizarre. EVERYONE FEELS THINGS, Raquel.

I suspect that it looks this way to her because she doesn’t see people going on and on and ON about what they feel. In part this is likely because other people don’t want to talk to her much, and when they do, she doesn’t listen.

Ugh, I know someone like this. Barely lets me get a word in, and when I do she either one-ups it (tries to, anyway) or just ignores/forgets it. My individuality simply doesn’t exist to her.

——-

The best thing she could do for her writing would be to take an actual interest in the rest of humanity.

Not be an armchair psychologist (though most around me treat me as such) but I truly believe Raquel has narcissistic personality disorder. Simply put, as the Maxwells would say: Raquel views people as objects, or she at least views them merely as a means to an end.

[lilith]

2 hours ago, dripcurl said:

Not be an armchair psychologist (though most around me treat me as such) but I truly believe Raquel has narcissistic personality disorder. Simply put, as the Maxwells would say: Raquel views people as objects, or she at least views them merely as a means to an end.

You’re right, I don’t think Raquel has passed the developmental stage most people do where they recognise that everyone around them is living their own experience that is just as valid and real as their own. She still sees everyone she encounters as bit players in the world that is her life. I don’t think she truly comprehends that the world keeps turning, people keep existing, life keeps happening, after she leaves a room.

[Hane]

Raquel reminds me of a certain actress in the early years of her career: Her star rose rapidly, and she suddenly seemed to be acquiring and shedding a series of boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands in quick succession. I remember thinking, “This is a girl who’s been told how pretty she is a few too many times.”

[AmazonGrace]

I couldn't find the horse poem you were talking about but now realized that there are some poems in the photo captions.

 

Spoiler

I am wild and untamed.
I leave hoof prints wherever I tread.
Some animals fear me;
The ones who don’t, I can outrun.
My mane blows in the wind when I lead the pack through the wasteland, through the trees, through the mountain passes, through the desert.
My ancestors has been recorded through history as one of the most ancient animals to benefit mankind.
I am regal and majestic.
Kings have ridden on my back.
Soldiers, too, and have ridden into battle.
The Natives worshipped me, the Egyptians also.
I have plowed fields in preparation for harvest,
And raced for winnings.

Wait, what? I thought you were wild and untamed. But somehow people ride you and you plow their fields for  them? 

Apart from the awkward grammar, several other species were domesticated before horses. I guess wild horses may have been hunted for food before domestication... but there appears to be no particular reason to think that hunting horses was a more ancient custom than hunting any other species that existed at the time.

 

Spoiler

There is no limit to where you can find me
Or what I can do.

Wait, wut? Seriously? You can't think of any places that you probably won't find horses at?   I hate to break it to you but most horses really aren't very good at knitting, hacking computers or piloting a helicopter.

Spoiler

I have traveled by ship, traveled by trailer, or merely traveled with a man too tired to walk, so I carried him.
I prefer to be ridden with no restrictions but few can handle how headstrong I can be.
Some people have never met one like me,
But those who have, know of my beauty and therapeutic presence.
And if you have ever met one of my kind, I promise you will always remember.

Raquel is special because she has seen a horse. Many a stupider person has no idea that horses are pretty.

 

 

[dripcurl]

2 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

I couldn't find the horse poem you were talking about but now realized that there are some poems in the photo captions.

 

 

  Hide contents

I prefer to be ridden with no restrictions but few can handle how headstrong I can be.

 

I prefer to be ridden with constrictions

[Terrie]

Spoiler

Okay, this makes me angry. It is incredibly disrespectful to hardworking people. I don't have resting bitchface, but I am not a smiler. I go for "polite attentiveness." Someone like this deserves to have their whole plate of food spilled in their lap, while their waiter smiles the whole time. 

Edited April 25, 2019 by Terrie

[AmazonGrace]

I love this one because the narrator is so unashamedly worshipful of herself. 

Spoiler

 

 

 

I am special because my hair gets messed up

     I laugh and cry because I see more than mere mortals  

           I am a bad tipper  

                    I am more real than other people 

I have more faith 

       when my relationships go wrong 

it's not me, it's you

 

 

 

 

Edited April 25, 2019 by AmazonGrace