Raquel Strikes Again

[clueliss]

Weeds gave us roundup and cancer.  Lovely comparison.  

 

 

[Terrie]

So she's writing more again. https://psyche.media/the-beauty-of-being-both is her latest.

Quote

I have discovered that if I can't have time to sit alone with myself, I won't be my highest self around others. Some people find this odd. I find it unique

How much can one human being harp on "Some people find me odd, but I'm really super special"? Tonight, on 60 Minutes...

ETA: She classified her article as "Advice" and it's literally her talking all about herself.

Edited June 14, 2019 by Terrie

[dripcurl]

52 minutes ago, Terrie said:

 

ETA: She classified her article as "Advice" and it's literally her talking all about herself.

I don’t think she would know where to begin with writing something in a way that helped people identify the complexities of their own personalities. Everything has to be from an “I” perspective, because that is the only way she thinks.

[Terrie]

2 hours ago, dripcurl said:

I don’t think she would know where to begin with writing something in a way that helped people identify the complexities of their own personalities. 

I'm fairly certain she makes up the complexities of her own personality in an attempt to make herself look profound.

[AmazonGrace]

sometimes I love company

sometimes I want to be alone

so do you, probably

sometimes i like to talk

sometimes I like to be quiet

so do you, probably

i like to talk

but not with everybody

so do you, probably

i am so unique

so are you, probably

[Terrie]

The sad thing with Raquel is that if she stopped trying to be special or unique or, just, more whatever than everyone else, and embraced her ordinary self, she would be 100% more interesting.

[AmazonGrace]

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I am extremely intuitive. I am sensitive, in the way of feeling the energies and emotions of those around me. I can step into a room, and immediately know what everyone around me is feeling.

Yeah, so I'm gonna say no. Not doubting she thinks she knows this, but if she really knew what people were feeling she wouldn't think she's so special and unique for having thoughts that everybody else has too.

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An ambivert is someone whose personality has a balance of extroverted and introverted features. They adapt to their surroundings accordingly.

Everyone has a balance of extroverted and introverted features. Everyone adapts to their surroundings. Everyone can be withdrawn or talkative in certain situations.

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I enjoy going out, vibing with others, and being in high energy environments,, but I set expiration times. I have discovered that if I can't have time to sit alone with myself, I won't be my highest self around others. Some people find this odd. I find it unique.

Unique?  Does she know what the word even means? It is not at all unusual for people to want both occasional human interaction and some peace and quiet. For most of us partying and socializing is fun, but not all the time, and being alone is wonderful, but not all the time.

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I save my deep topics for fellow humans who I feel safe in having those special conversations with

Apart from some mentally unwell people with no boundaries who will sit next to a stranger on a bus and pour out all their shit with no inhibitions at all, this describes pretty much everybody I know. Everyone saves their deep topics for people they're comfortable speaking about them with.

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3. I try to maintain a peaceful aura... but I also have a wild side.

Most of us have the capacity for calmness and for letting loose.
 

Quote

 

4. I feel like I am easy to understand... but sometimes, only by certain people.

I know that I can be pretty difficult to understand logically sometimes, but if someone takes the time to comprehend my personality at a soul level, they would have a much better grasp of who I am.

 

Welcome to the club, honey... All of us are easier to understand if you take the time to get to know us, and obviously not everyone will.

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If I am around people who I would not normally choose to hang out with, I tend to be quiet and withdrawn.

Pretty much all of us are less comfortable and less open with people we don't like to hang out with.

[formergothardite]

I love that one of the "poems" is basically an essential oil advertisement. 

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And maybe this is what finding joy in life is...

It’s driving over an hour away at 10pm to see the family I love and miss.
It’s snuggling with my little siblings while we watch Andy Griffith episodes.
It’s recording a cover of a One Direction song with my sisters.
It’s climbing up to the roof during golden hour and watching the sun set behind the trees.
It’s driving into town and buying three pies for dessert.
It’s almost deciding to leave but not being able to when my whole family joins in a chorus of “Stay another night, Raquel!”
It’s not being able to say no to them, and knowing deep down inside that staying another night and day is exactly what my soul needs.
It’s waking up to the sounds of my little siblings’ voices and the all too familiar sounds of the farm.
It’s sitting at the huge family dining table and writing, while my Mama sits at the other end, working on a class for her small business (@livingoilsforlife).
It’s laughing harder at my siblings’ laughs over an Instagram video than at the actual video.
It’s taking twenty minutes just to give hugs and kisses goodbye.
It’s yelling “I love you!” out of my open car window and honking the traditional family honk as I drive away.
It’s getting a text from “My Hero” (aka Dad) asking me if I got home safely. 
It’s ending the night turning on my new essential oil diffuser that Mama sent home with me and smelling the sweet lavender fill my room as I snuggle in bed with a heart full of love and peace and joy.
Maybe that’s what finding happiness in life is like... and if so, I’m here for it.
#

 

[dripcurl]

I am dying at Father Duarte’s 90’s extra long mullet. No snark! I find it fascinating. My dad is half Peruvian and in baby pics of me (at about the same time actually) his hair was not long but it is the same texture and grew “up”, as a kid I called it Marge Simpson hair (of course it wasn’t nearly as tall). He bears a strong resemblance to this guy too. Very funny to me.

[Petronella]

22 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Yeah, so I'm gonna say no. Not doubting she thinks she knows this, but if she really knew what people were feeling she wouldn't think she's so special and unique for having thoughts that everybody else has too.

Everyone has a balance of extroverted and introverted features. Everyone adapts to their surroundings. Everyone can be withdrawn or talkative in certain situations.

Unique?  Does she know what the word even means? It is not at all unusual for people to want both occasional human interaction and some peace and quiet. For most of us partying and socializing is fun, but not all the time, and being alone is wonderful, but not all the time.

Apart from some mentally unwell people with no boundaries who will sit next to a stranger on a bus and pour out all their shit with no inhibitions at all, this describes pretty much everybody I know. Everyone saves their deep topics for people they're comfortable speaking about them with.

Most of us have the capacity for calmness and for letting loose.
 

Welcome to the club, honey... All of us are easier to understand if you take the time to get to know us, and obviously not everyone will.

Pretty much all of us are less comfortable and less open with people we don't like to hang out with.

YES. God. Raquel is so obsessed with her supposed uniqueness she has no sense of shared humanity.

Pro-tip: she won't be able to write well until she can see other human beings as the centers of their own stories instead of as extras in hers.

Edited June 17, 2019 by Petronella

[Terrie]

4 hours ago, Petronella said:

Pro-tip: she won't be able to write well until she can see other human beings as the centers of their own stories instead of as extras in hers.

I think this is one area where her faith has really damaged her growth as a person. She's super caught up in the idea that God is "writing" her life, and so she tries to make everything that happens to her part of her "story." Then end result is that she presents herself as a character, and it's very artificial. Anything that doesn't fit her theme and image is glossed over or erased. Things as ordinary as a cold become life lessons. The end result is a literary Uncanny Valley. Her writing no more reflects the human experience than does a porcelain doll.

[Shoobydoo]

Dear Raquel,

Please don't use hashtags in poems.

Thanks,

Sis Shooby

[kpmom]

Oh my goodness, I had kind of forgotten about Raquel!

I remember reading about her here at FJ years ago when she was a self-obsessed teenager.  But she's gotta be about 24 or 25 now, right?

And she's still writing the same old shit?  Good grief!

ETA:  Oh gosh, I remember some of her dreams as a teenager.  She wanted to meet Mr. Right and go dancing in the rain with him!  And her "bucket list" had something about painting her nails a certain color or something.  Silly teen stuff.  But it sounds like she hasn't matured much since then.

Edited June 17, 2019 by kpmom
adding

[dripcurl]

@kpmom  Not much has changed at all. The only real change I think is that she has stylized  her life and her rhetoric in a different way. She used to try and capitalize on being a more free spirited type of a stay at home daughter who glorified the idea of a perfect marriage. Now she has moved out and prides herself on her tattoos, random travels, working at coffee shops, and leading worship at a hip urban inner-city church, but talking about her self in regards to relationships In a more inocuous and abstract way. Same energy, different channel. One could say she is less fundie, but I would say she was never really fundie at all. She is just the type of Christian who will bend whatever way that is convenient at that time to gain the possibility of attracting a mate. When she was a teenager it obviously made sense for her to go the stay at home daughter route as her parents were seemingly fundie and obviously quiverfull, but now that she has become an overgrown child and I’m sure her former circle and parents are sick of her shit, she has had to become the more New Age type of Christian and is trying to search for more woke men rather than patriarchal men since she is out on her own.

[Petronella]

6 hours ago, dripcurl said:

@kpmom  Not much has changed at all. The only real change I think is that she has stylized  her life and her rhetoric in a different way. She used to try and capitalize on being a more free spirited type of a stay at home daughter who glorified the idea of a perfect marriage. Now she has moved out and prides herself on her tattoos, random travels, working at coffee shops, and leading worship at a hip urban inner-city church, but talking about her self in regards to relationships In a more inocuous and abstract way. Same energy, different channel. One could say she is less fundie, but I would say she was never really fundie at all. She is just the type of Christian who will bend whatever way that is convenient at that time to gain the possibility of attracting a mate. When she was a teenager it obviously made sense for her to go the stay at home daughter route as her parents were seemingly fundie and obviously quiverfull, but now that she has become an overgrown child and I’m sure her former circle and parents are sick of her shit, she has had to become the more New Age type of Christian and is trying to search for more woke men rather than patriarchal men since she is out on her own.

All of that sounds right except for bolded. I don't think her parents were quiverfull--it's just her and one brother, right? I'm not even sure they were fundie. They spoiled her, but I don't recall them pushing the stay-at-home-daughter thing; that seemed to come from Raquel.

[dripcurl]

10 minutes ago, Petronella said:

All of that sounds right except for bolded. I don't think her parents were quiverfull--it's just her and one brother, right? I'm not even sure they were fundie. They spoiled her, but I don't recall them pushing the stay-at-home-daughter thing; that seemed to come from Raquel.

There are 7 kids, and there were 6 miscarriages. Based on things she wrote about back in the day that referenced her parents reproductive journey (and the mere fact she was touching on that in the first place), the type of conferences I’d see her family at, and a former mutual acquaintance (who’s family also happened to be quiverful) I just thought that was the best choice of words. Maybe I should have just said large family, but it is a fact there are 7 Duarte children.

 

I agree with you that her parents did not mandate SAHDhood and that she chose that path for a time herself. I think she did that to try and find a fundie guy.

Edited June 18, 2019 by dripcurl

[Petronella]

2 minutes ago, dripcurl said:

There are 7 kids, and there were 6 miscarriages. Based on things she wrote about back in the day that referenced her parents reproductive journey (and the mere fact she was touching on that in the first place), the type of conferences I’d see her family at, and a former mutual acquaintance (who’s family also happened to be quiverful) I just thought that was the best choice of words. Maybe I should have just said large family, but it is a fact there are 7 Duarte children.

Wow! I've followed her threads for years but I guess I missed all this. Thanks for clarifying. I only remember her ever mentioning her one brother. I guess I need to brush up! (Maybe I was mentally mixing her up a bit with Lina who forced her stay-at-home-daughtership on her parents?)

[dripcurl]

Just now, Petronella said:

Wow! I've followed her threads for years but I guess I missed all this. Thanks for clarifying. I only remember her ever mentioning her one brother. I guess I need to brush up! (Maybe I was mentally mixing her up a bit with Lina who forced her stay-at-home-daughtership on her parents?)

That makes sense because many of her more cringe-worthy posts that would get more snark involved mentioning of the brother (Noah) and no one else as I recall. And she would make a big deal about how close their relationship was. I think she was trying to advertise herself as someone who got along well with men. It seems only in recent years, and especially on instagram that she flexes her relationship with the little sisters. One time on insta she posted a pic of the baby brother “praying” for her. 

[Petronella]

1 minute ago, dripcurl said:

That makes sense because many of her more cringe-worthy posts that would get more snark involved mentioning of the brother (Noah) and no one else as I recall. And she would make a big deal about how close their relationship was. I think she was trying to advertise herself as someone who got along well with men. It seems only in recent years, and especially on instagram that she flexes her relationship with the little sisters. One time on insta she posted a pic of the baby brother “praying” for her. 

Thank you for being kind about my wrong info ?

I went back to have a look on old threads to revise my memory. This is a quote from onlyme on an FJ thread in 2015: "You can't blame this stuff on her family. She totally went in for all the courtship/modesty stuff on her own. I get the impression that her parents are the kind of artistically indulgent hippie Christian type and I guess they are letting her follow her bliss. But all the fundie type stuff is totally on her."

And ILoveJellyBeans in 2013: "She hasnt had the worst parts of fundie life that make me feel sorry for them-her parents dont beat her or shame her, she isnt forced to raise a sibling, she doesnt have to spend the whole day cleaning the house, she doesnt genuinely want more but has her dreams crushed, she will never be forced into an arranged marriage...she has a life of just doing nothing, and every opportunity to learn but doesnt. Her parents give her more choices and freedom than the average fundie, she just doesnt take it-she can decide to go to college or get a job, but doesnt. She can use her internet freedom to learn about the world, but she doesnt, she sits around on social networks uploading pictures of herself. There are so many fundie girls who are just begging to have the opportunities that she gets every day, but theyve been given to someone who doesnt use them."

I'm clearly wrong about the family size, but the parents' religiosity seems vague. (Or at least my understanding of it, right or wrong, has been shared by others.)

I think maybe, as you said, it's just the baggage that comes with the word "quiverfull" that makes us see it differently. To me, quiverfull implies a whole lot of sheltering, restrictions, and control on top of family size, while you used it to refer specifically to their family size, which I was wrong about. So I think probably we're on the same page!

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, Petronella said:

but the parents' religiosity seems vague.

I don't get that they were a strict fundie parents either. They coddled her and blamed all her problems on other people. She got to do pretty much whatever she wanted. We have a member who went to church with her family and it does seem to be that she attended a fundie church, but Raquel was never like the Duggar/Bates who wore frumpers and raised siblings. 

 I do blame her parents for giving her the sense that she is so above everyone else and that she doesn't have to work hard to accomplish anything. I remember one of her early blog posts about her education she bragged about not having to do all the things people typically have to learn in school because SHE didn't need to do those things. There doesn't seem to be any point where her parents sat her down and really worked on making her tackle things she didn't want to deal with. I can't help but wonder what sort of a math education she got since she tends to automatically quit anything that slightly challenges her and if she was a math genius she would have told us. 

I find it interesting that none of her siblings have a big internet presence. Raquel was putting her life on the internet when she was 13, but her siblings appear to be more private. I wonder if her parents learned from their mistakes and realized they fucked up with Raquel. Or if the siblings saw what the internet did to their sister and decided to avoid it. 

[dripcurl]

So, a White Power-esque tattoo and a dramatic hair cut. Here’s to hoping Raquel hasn’t become a Skinhead.

 

I jest. I understand that is an Early Christian symbol, but still. 

Edited June 19, 2019 by dripcurl

[Terrie]

Another day, another poem. Not sure if what she's describing actually happened. The general sentiment is super common and feels lifted from an advice column, but not sure if her "friend" confusing impartiality (fair, just) with indifference (lack of concern or interest) makes it more or less likely that someone besides Raquel lifted the thought from somewhere else.

[AmazonGrace]

IMPARTIALITY

I'm not cheating on you

Just giving everyone a fair chance

[formergothardite]

56 minutes ago, Terrie said:

not sure if her "friend" confusing impartiality (fair, just) with indifference (lack of concern or interest) makes it more or less likely that someone besides Raquel lifted the thought from somewhere else.

She probably lifted the general idea but then Raqueled it up by not understanding what impartial means. 

 

[formergothardite]

From Raquel's instagram.

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She is a quiet fire; always burning, yet not always noticeable. Though when the need arises, she can become ablaze, and passion is what fuels her.
She may seem strong, but don’t let her confidence fool you. She has cried many a sleepless nights.
She may have a peaceful countenance, but don’t let that distract from the turmoil she feels inside. Her soul is a raging fire that you may never see, or perhaps she has just always been a good liar. 
Let me assure you, though... one of the worst things you can assume is that nothing is wrong because she seems happy. Or that she is so kind because she has never known pain. 
We are all fighting our own private wars. She is no exception.
But she has welded it her own sword and knows how to use it well.”
——
excerpt from my book ARE MY EYES STILL TAME?

Raquel's poems are always about herself and she really does think she is one of the most amazing, special people out there. 

She has apparently moved, gotten a new job and has a big project she is announcing this month. I wonder what she is up to this time. She also gives God a shoutout because what God really needs is a social media mention. It sounds like she might have moved back home. 

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so.. there have been a LOT of changes happening in my life. (thus my absence from Instagram lately haha)
I have a big project that I’m announcing later this month, plus a new job, and I moved (again).. oh and I’m gonna be a first time auntie in a few months. Incredible and [slightly] overwhelming stuff.
But wow has God been good. He just keeps showing up in these little ways that over time develop into something huge that stun me to pieces and I’m like “Wait.. I get it now.” And He’s like “Yup. I’ve had your best interest in mind all along.”
So this is me giving Him a shoutout.. I’m thankful for His unending patience, His crazy grace, and His steadfast love. I am home. I am happy. I am blessed. And I have time to stop and pick flowers for my Mama and watch the sun set over the hills I grew up in.
Stay tuned for more life tidbits and you’re welcome for this ramble of news from yours truly.