Dillards 48: Proselytising Prick Preaching to People

[Texas Heifer]

Re: the wooden spoons: my dad tells a story about a time when his mother (who was 5' in shoes and 95 pounds soaking wet) broke a ping pong paddle on him, and without skipping a beat--no pun intended --grabbed her washing stick and continued hitting him. In her defense, this was during the times of polio, when they didn't know what caused it, and she'd caught him playing in ditch water after he'd been forbidden to do so. She was terrified.

My dad has his faults, but he has never hit me in anger. My brother, either. The two times he spanked us, he made sure to put a good block of time between the reason(s) for the spanking and the spanking itself, so he wasn't angry. He also explained to us why we were receiving said spanking, and I do not remember any pain. Still, I think his methods contributed to me harboring fear and distrust of him that continue to this day, even though this all happened in the very early '80s. He did not abuse physically; his abusiveness, though less severe than most (I assume), was restricted to emotional. He was very good at humiliation, and still sees little wrong with teasing someone until they cry, and then accuses that person of being too sensitive.

Why yes, I am in therapy...isn't that shocking?

My mother, on the other hand, was slap-happy. She slapped me on the leg, hard, when I was about 12, and slapped me across the face twice as a teenager. The second time, I just stared at her, infuriated. I would never have slapped her back, but I think about it now and consider both of us lucky I was not that kind of kid. She says my post-slap stare made her even angrier at the time (this was rural Texas in the early '90s--in my world, you deserved to get slapped for talking back, and I had just sassed her). Now, she says she is ashamed of slapping me, and she apologized. Truly, the slaps were easier for me to deal with than the emotional crap I got from my dad. I have lots of mental conditions they just didn't know about then, and didn't know how to handle: depression, anxiety, ADD, OCD. I have abandonment issues that have nothing to do with the physical. Dad still has difficulty believing these things exist, and at the time, they were both frustrated with me.

To this day, I struggle with my upbringing, which wasn't terrible and wasn't fundie. I feel so sad for those whose childhoods were/are more fucked up than mine, because overcoming mine seems impossible. I don't know how they'll do it, if they ever try to.

[nvmbr02]

Apparently as a teen my 6ft dad mouthed off to my 4'11" grandmother and she took off after him with a broom and smacked him up and down the street. Many of the old neighbors still live on the street so the story gets told a lot. 

My mom was both physically and emotionally abusive. My dad was neither, though I do remember him spanking me once and one of my sisters once. He later apologized to me (several years later). I do think he regretted it afterward but I don't think I was scared by it. My husband and I have chosen other ways to discipline our kids though.

 

[squiddysquid]

Cross church is looking for an accountant

http://crosschurch.com/jobs/

Derick? That would be the perfect way to provide for your family and they must have thought of him before. But no, keep grifting money for their whatever course instead.

[HarryPotterFan]

29 minutes ago, squiddysquid said:

Cross church is looking for an accountant

http://crosschurch.com/jobs/

Derick? That would be the perfect way to provide for your family and they must have thought of him before. But no, keep grifting money for their whatever course instead.

“ Pay will be commensurate with skills and experience.”

Good thing he has 20+ years of experience working full-time!

[Feministe9000]

1 hour ago, HarryPotterFan said:

“ Pay will be commensurate with skills and experience.”

Good thing he has 20+ years of experience working full-time!

But really  though, why the hell isnt he pursuring something like this in terms of a job?! He HAS the degree for gods sake! Wouldn’t that be so much more straight forward, practical and, given the fact their goal is to have umpteen children, kinda of a necessary move?? 

But no, Izzy and Sam (and possibly more poor babies) get to grow up with a father who doesn’t know what he wants, lost in some missionary white savior complex? Wow such a great role model, Derick! 

I mean seriously, work for a church and be an accountant! Work for a Christian organization which promotes your hateful shit but still build on a profession that will SUSTAIN YOU and your growing family. 

Ah the problem there is: accountants work in the “back of the house”, they aren’t front and center and getting all the praise and attention and don’t get to be the “face” of something, but still doing vital and obviously extremely necessary work. 

But that’s okay! Because you married Jill, and can mooch off he TLC/JimBob money in a real pinch, while continuing to take the easy way out by using that celebrity you leeched off of your naive impressionable wife to beg for money and living your dream doing internships and bullshit missions. So nice for you. 

What about Jill’s dreams? Oh yeah.....how convinently this has all worked out for ya Derick. 

Damn, such a douchebag. And that isn’t even all of it! This doesn’t even go into his hate speech on twitter, his asshole behavior towards sweet Izzy and awkward disconnect with Sam and so many other things we have discussed at length.This is just the fact he’s acting like a single dude who gets to just flit round and make decisions when he changes his mind “for the good of his family” ,  gets to say and do whatever he wants, while wasting his degree from a school he claims to love so much. Seems like he loved being Pistol Pete wayyyyy More than he actually liked getting an accounting degree. 

Ugh! 

 

[CaricatureQualities]

I wonder if Jill is going to be on the show when it comes back on. She wont have story lines or talking heads but she might be around in some episodes. Anna is still  on sans Josh. JB and M are still around and get on camera here and there. I think it would be interesting if she didn't show up at all. 

[LacyMay]

56 minutes ago, Feministe9000 said:

I mean seriously, work for a church and be an accountant! Work for a Christian organization which promotes your hateful shit but still build on a profession that will SUSTAIN YOU and your growing family. 

It pains me to say this... but at the very least arsefacejosh did this. He was a shitty person possibly shittier than Derick. But he at least provided for his family (while actively destroying them with his selfish douchebagness) Even in the early days when he was working ("working"?) at the car lot. 

I try to find some sort of redemptive thing in even the most repugnant of people, and it probably leads me to being a bit too nice. But even I can't find a single redeeming factor about Derick... 

He's just a shitty person with shittier beliefs. 

[Knight of Ni]

“Working in the back room” is exactly what an accountant does. Not everyone has the personality to do well in that environment. I think that someone outgoing enough to be a mascot for a huge university wouldn’t be suited for that type of work. I’m thinking sales manager something similar. However, he’s chose this degree and has a responsibility to provide for his family

[MakeItSo]

@LacyMay I do the same thing. Trying to find redeeming qualities in people that most everyone hates. Like you, I have noticed that Asshua at least seemed to have a work ethic, while Dewreck just kind of seems to grift through life. 

[FundieCentral]

7 hours ago, Feministe9000 said:

the problem there is: accountants work in the “back of the house”, they aren’t front and center and getting all the praise and attention and don’t get to be the “face” of something, but still doing vital and obviously extremely necessary work. 

Yes, I fear that‘s Derick‘s main problem. Ever since he lost his dad and decided to suck up to Jim Bob as a replacement he’s wanted to step into his shoes and also have a big family, a public media “ministry”, and all eyes on him. I think he’s literally copying the douche-in-chief. And Jill will end up with crazy eyes and a laundry room breakdown, just like her mom. 

[SassyPants]

IV in the left hand and a high flow nasal cannula for high flow oxygen. A bit more than basic care. Probably needed antibiotics and fluids to allow for healing and rest ( too sick to  nipple feed). Jill and Dereck need to back up the birthing train....put it on out of order status. Either that or stop trying for vaginal births.

[acheronbeach]

9 hours ago, Knight of Ni said:

“Working in the back room” is exactly what an accountant does. Not everyone has the personality to do well in that environment. I think that someone outgoing enough to be a mascot for a huge university wouldn’t be suited for that type of work. I’m thinking sales manager something similar. However, he’s chose this degree and has a responsibility to provide for his family

He is an attention whore with zero charisma.  He THINKS he's a people person because of that Pistol Pete nonsense, but he isn't.  He forgets that as Pistol Pete, he was neither seen nor heard.  He just put on a papier mache head and jumped around and danced... and seems to have loved the attention.  As Derick, as a person, he will never get that adulation.  

If he was mature, he'd realize that he is an utter failure at any sort of outward-facing job that requires charm and people skills.  He should be in the back room.  If he truly wanted to do what was best for Cross Church's ministry, he would put his pride aside and humbly help them by using the skills that God gave him.  It's telling that he just keeps throwing himself back into the limelight.  

[RainbowSky]

9 hours ago, Knight of Ni said:

“Working in the back room” is exactly what an accountant does. Not everyone has the personality to do well in that environment. I think that someone outgoing enough to be a mascot for a huge university wouldn’t be suited for that type of work. I’m thinking sales manager something similar. However, he’s chose this degree and has a responsibility to provide for his family

Did he get the position from personality (if so, wth happened?) Or from it being a legacy thing? I don't know if that's a possibility there.

[nastyhobbitses]

10 hours ago, Feministe9000 said:

I mean seriously, work for a church and be an accountant! Work for a Christian organization which promotes your hateful shit but still build on a profession that will SUSTAIN YOU and your growing family. 

But that would mean actually working instead of e-begging and mooching off your father-in-law after swearing up and down to him that you would financially provide for his middle-school-educated-at-best daughter! The horror! 

Derick, if you read here, you are the common denominator of your failures. You choose not to seek or retain gainful employment that would apply your education and skills. You choose to be an anti-social, hateful bully on social media. You choose to help your mom glorify child abuse. You choose to drag your wife to a country where she is isolated and afraid, and reinforce her frankly racist views of the local people by allowing/encouraging/forcing her to remain isolated. You choose to view your sweet little boys with disdain and suspicion. These are all the reasons you are unhappy and unfulfilled in life. This is why you have failed. Your choices are why you have failed. 

Get some psychiatric help and/or quit blaming others for what a garbage person you are. And get a damn job. 

[Jessie E]

On 12/28/2017 at 4:10 PM, mizandry said:

Absolutely. She constantly comes across as though she's trying to convince the public he's a good husband, when it's obvious he's pretty terrible. 

I have a cousin who is just as guilty of this as Jill. Her husband is useless as all hell. He has never worked a day in his life and he literally has just sat on the sofa and has done nothing for the 10 years that she has been with him. Every once in a blue moon he will do something nice and simple for her and she will make the biggest deal out of it on social media. For example, one day he poured her a cup of tea and she posted a picture of it and had a very long post about how he was the greatest husband ever because he took the time to do that for her.  My cousin got married very young (18 years old) and started having babies right away. They are grifters and her husband has never done a thing to look after his family. She and Jill always seemed similar to me. I think Jill, like my cousin, is probably very unhappy with the lazy man that she has married. But they need to make their husband look useful and wonderful for all of social media to see. Overcompensating at its finest. 

[Hashtag Blessed]

4 hours ago, acheronbeach said:

He is an attention whore with zero charisma.  He THINKS he's a people person because of that Pistol Pete nonsense, but he isn't.  He forgets that as Pistol Pete, he was neither seen nor heard.  He just put on a papier mache head and jumped around and danced... and seems to have loved the attention.  As Derick, as a person, he will never get that adulation.  

If he was mature, he'd realize that he is an utter failure at any sort of outward-facing job that requires charm and people skills.  He should be in the back room.  If he truly wanted to do what was best for Cross Church's ministry, he would put his pride aside and humbly help them by using the skills that God gave him.  It's telling that he just keeps throwing himself back into the limelight.  

I agree with you. Just because he likes performing and attention doesn’t mean he’s any good at it. It is really kinda pathetic how fondly he looks back on the glory days as pistol pete. People were cheering for the team mascot, you ass, not you.

This is the problem with patriarchal chratianity. By virtue of being a man he is taught that every whim and wish he has is a path set before him by GOD, and therefore must be followed. He desires to be a famous missionary, therefore god desires him to be a famous missionary. It is his destiny. Anyone who says otherwise is being influenced by the devil. No need to think critically about your own talents and abilities because god will open all doors to you if you pray hard! It is pathetic to watch these boys floundering to acheive the wildly impractical ambitions they feel so entitled to.

@Jessie E I think we’ve all seen someone do this. I was that person briefly once, when i was dating a loser and I was trying to convince myself that he was going places and really cared about me so I should be grateful. The tiniest thing was cause for celebration and praise! Oh wow, you microwaved a frozen breakfast for me! So sweet! Best BF evar!!! Now, years later I’m with a man who does kind and loving things every day and I don’t feel any need to convince anyone that he’s amazing. Funny how that works. So glad I dumped that asshole. Wish Jill would do the same. Find yourself a man who cooks you breakfast from scratch every day without expecting an ounce of praise in return! Lol

[nst]

18 hours ago, squiddysquid said:

Cross church is looking for an accountant

http://crosschurch.com/jobs/

Derick? That would be the perfect way to provide for your family and they must have thought of him before. But no, keep grifting money for their whatever course instead.

someone should send in a fake resume of Derick's 

or is that taking it too far?

it wouldn't have to be true 

4 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

But that would mean actually working instead of e-begging and mooching off your father-in-law after swearing up and down to him that you would financially provide for his middle-school-educated-at-best daughter! The horror! 

Derick, if you read here, you are the common denominator of your failures. You choose not to seek or retain gainful employment that would apply your education and skills. You choose to be an anti-social, hateful bully on social media. You choose to help your mom glorify child abuse. You choose to drag your wife to a country where she is isolated and afraid, and reinforce her frankly racist views of the local people by allowing/encouraging/forcing her to remain isolated. You choose to view your sweet little boys with disdain and suspicion. These are all the reasons you are unhappy and unfulfilled in life. This is why you have failed. Your choices are why you have failed. 

Get some psychiatric help and/or quit blaming others for what a garbage person you are. And get a damn job. 

can you take Derick under your wing and be his life coach  

[General Jinjur]

6 minutes ago, nst said:

someone should send in a fake resume of Derick's 

or is that taking it too far?

Too far. But it would be awesome if a bunch of people tweeted that job description at him.

[VelociRapture]

15 hours ago, Knight of Ni said:

“Working in the back room” is exactly what an accountant does. Not everyone has the personality to do well in that environment. I think that someone outgoing enough to be a mascot for a huge university wouldn’t be suited for that type of work. I’m thinking sales manager something similar. However, he’s chose this degree and has a responsibility to provide for his family

It honestly depends though. My husband is a CPA at a public accounting firm and he spends a lot of time with clients or at after work events that help build up the firm’s reputation. He’s a Supervisor now, but he’s been doing those events and working directly with clients since he first started out (and since before he was a CPA.) The partners at his firm do a LOT of schmoozing as well - they have to in order to bring in more business.

If Derick stayed in corporate accounting then what you’re saying might be true, but it’s not necessarily true for every type of accounting he could have chosen to pursue.

1 hour ago, nst said:

someone should send in a fake resume of Derick's 

or is that taking it too far?

it wouldn't have to be true 

can you take Derick under your wing and be his life coach  

Yeah, no. Please don’t do this. It’s creepy as fuck. Tweet it at him as much as you want like @General Jinjursaid, but sending a fake application in for him is too far.

[LacyMay]

6 hours ago, RainbowSky said:

Did he get the position from personality (if so, wth happened?) Or from it being a legacy thing? I don't know if that's a possibility there.

They have to fill out an "application" (basically just personal info and sign that they are aware of the requirements like minimum GPA, required travel, required attendance at events) and provide a resume. They also have a try out where they "will be interviewed and given opportunities to mime, pose and play out different event situations with the Pistol Pete head on" 

It also says that every year 10-15 people try out and two are accepted...those are pretty good odds considering he's been riding that horse for goodness knows how many years. I honestly thought that it was a *huge* thing and loads of people tried out and it was like a big honor to be chosen. 

[nst]

7 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

Too far. But it would be awesome if a bunch of people tweeted that job description at him.

yes that's what i meant. 

boy some people don't get my humor lately 

[Dandruff]

14 hours ago, acheronbeach said:

It's telling that he just keeps throwing himself back into the limelight.  

And that his mommy keeps jumping in when the heat gets too hot.

[MakeItSo]

Can you imagine your mom or other family member always jumping in the second someone does not 100% agree with you? That would drive me insane! Sticking up for your siblings, kids, friends is a great thing and how it should be. At the same time, however, at some point it would be advantageous for someone to learn to fight one's own battles and figure out how to navigate the consequences of one's own actions. I wonder if he'll pass that on to his kids, though in the grand scheme of fundieness, that's probably be the least of their worries.

[Shadoewolf]

I love my MIL, but she is a classic enabler. Hubby has screwed up SO many things in the 10+ years we've been together and yet she's not only the first one to come to his defense or make excuses for him, but she constantly takes care of whatever mess he's made too. 

And honestly, having Cathy jump in just makes Derick look worse. If he is SO strong in his convictions, why can't he defend himself? Maybe letting him sink a little would teach him not to get in way over his head when he speaks. And maybe it would be different if people were legit slandering Derick. If it really was outright lies that could be proven as lies. But most of what we've seen thrown at him has a good degree of truth behind it. People keep saying that if none of what we think is true, why isn't Cathy setting the record straight? It's stupid to cry foul but then duck and run.

[nastyhobbitses]

1 hour ago, Shadoewolf said:

I love my MIL, but she is a classic enabler. Hubby has screwed up SO many things in the 10+ years we've been together and yet she's not only the first one to come to his defense or make excuses for him, but she constantly takes care of whatever mess he's made too. 

The Armchair Psychologist is in! In my utterly unprofessional opinion, enabling behavior, especially when it's a parent enabling a child, is a way to exert control. Not only are you fighting your kid's battles for them and cleaning up their messes so they're essentially living life and interacting with others on your terms (not to mention they're infantilized because mommy/daddy is always stepping in), but now they "owe" you something because you do so much to help them. 

We see it with how Michelle and JB handled Josh (probably the worst case enabling scenario I can think of that doesn't involve drugs), and we see it with Cathy handling Derick's hateful, shitty behavior.