Duggars by the Dozen 30 - On a Mission from GOD!

[Four is Enough]

On 9/14/2017 at 7:40 PM, Satan'sFortress said:

Random musing:

I think back to the Duggar statement after Josh was outed as a child molester---one of the parts that always stuck with me was that they said this had all happened when he was "a young teen."  I am looking at my own son, who is now 15---same age as Josh was when he abused his sisters, and let me tell you--that is not a young teen!  A 15-year old boy is a man-sized.  He towers over me and weighs about 40 lbs more than I do.  15 year old boys shave. 

 

When my son molested, he was 15 also. He looked much younger than his stated aage, didn't shave, and didn't come into his growth spurt until he was 18... so it's not universal.

[Rachel333]

15 is a funny age because some boys look 40 (I'm not kidding, when I started high school there was a kid in my class who I mistook as a middle-aged man at first) and some still look 10.

[feministxtian]

adults calling their father "daddy"....KNOCK OFF THE CRITICISM OF IT!

Look, my father died when I was 34. I called him daddy up until the day before he died (the last day I saw him alive). I STILL refer to him as "daddy". It's more popular in the south..."mama and daddy". My friend Pam, who's my age, called her father "daddy" up until he died...just about a year ago. 

If you don't like it, TOUGH SHIT. It's not creepy, it's not weird, it's the way things are in certain parts of the country. and, just because we call our parents "mama and daddy", we're not all a bunch of backwoods, toothless, inbred, ignorant rednecks...GOT IT? 

 

Rant over. 

[Jenn The Heathen]

When my sisters and I talk about our mother to each other, we say "mommy."  "Mommy is acting crazy," etc.  We're in our thirties.  When we talk to her, we call her mom (or sometimes by her first name when we're trying to get a point across).  It's weird.

[Beermeet]

@feministxtian. Amen!  I'll call my daddy anything I want.  Pop or daddy for me.  Terms of endearment are off limits to me.  He's my daddy and I love him.

[TatiFish9]

On 8/29/2017 at 11:02 PM, Season of life... said:

Do the Duggars have a Biblical Birthday Magic 8-Ball? 

I picture Michelle, Jim Bob, or, most likely, Jana: Hmmm, another birthday post is needed--how to describe child number eight, nine, ten, etc.?Shake, shake, shake...Servants heart for

...........

I could not stop laughing at this post! LOL!!!

I'd like to imagine they're all tired of the rigamarole. I can see Jinger behind the scenes thinking "who are we congratulating now?" And rolling her eyes to Jeremy in sheer boredom .

But it's their job. They get paid to promote their brand. It's quite sickening. I can see how the younger ones who have been on tv since birth are annoyed with it now. Maybe they just want to live normal lives now.

[metheglyn]

36 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

adults calling their father "daddy"....KNOCK OFF THE CRITICISM OF IT!

Look, my father died when I was 34. I called him daddy up until the day before he died (the last day I saw him alive). I STILL refer to him as "daddy". It's more popular in the south..."mama and daddy". My friend Pam, who's my age, called her father "daddy" up until he died...just about a year ago. 

If you don't like it, TOUGH SHIT. It's not creepy, it's not weird, it's the way things are in certain parts of the country. and, just because we call our parents "mama and daddy", we're not all a bunch of backwoods, toothless, inbred, ignorant rednecks...GOT IT? 

 

Rant over. 

I just lost my father in May. I'm in my mid 30's as well and usually referred to him as Dad, but towards the end I was calling him Daddy right and left. It's a term of affection and I was perfectly comfortable with using it in that context, even if not in every day speech. It *can* be creepy, but definitely wasn't creepy in my case.

[feministxtian]

@metheglyn i am so sorry. That's one hole in the heart that will never be filled. Sending you peace and gentle hugs. 

[metheglyn]

Just now, feministxtian said:

@metheglyn i am so sorry. That's one hole in the heart that will never be filled. Sending you peace and gentle hugs. 

@feministxtian Thanks. I'm still coming to terms with it and appreciate the hugs.  Hugs back to you as well!

[feministxtian]

@metheglyn my daddy died 5/1/98, so 19 years ago now. It still sucks. The WORST was when my daughter had her girls. See, I was a daddy's girl and when my daughter was born my father's reaction was "oh good, now I have another little girl to spoil". I wish he had lived long enough to meet his great granddaughters...he'd have been, not just beside himself, but all the way in another dimension. He'd have been so proud of his grandson who joined the Army and served for 5 years, he'd have lost it at my grandson's birth. His favorite name was "Gpa" which is what my kids called him. That was the light of his life. 

[Beermeet]

@metheglyn. I'm so sorry love, big hugs.  Daddy's  are forever in our hearts.  

On the flip side, I was just texting my daddy and when we said our goodnights, he called me baby.  My heart is overflowing right now from that!  I'm in my 40's.  I love when my mommie ( that's what I call her and how we spell it, she likes that spelling because heart over the I, just for me: ) and daddy call me baby.  I'm still their baby, just like my children will always be my babies. <3

[feministxtian]

@Beermeet yup! I was Daddy's baby and he called me that. It's funny b/c I call my kids baby...in conversation. Earlier today #1 son and I were texting...he said something stupid (not a surprise) and from there he told me he was thinking about proposing to his girlfriend. I told him to follow his heart. As the conversation ended, I told him "I love you baby"...his response was "luv u too mama". Boychild is 30, 2 time combat vet. 

[Beermeet]

1 minute ago, feministxtian said:

@Beermeet yup! I was Daddy's baby and he called me that. It's funny b/c I call my kids baby...in conversation. Earlier today #1 son and I were texting...he said something stupid (not a surprise) and from there he told me he was thinking about proposing to his girlfriend. I told him to follow his heart. As the conversation ended, I told him "I love you baby"...his response was "luv u too mama". Boychild is 30, 2 time combat vet. 

Love it!  I feel blessed having that kind of relationship with my parents and children, as do you,  I know this!!!   My husband is the same with his folks and our kids too.  Good stuff!  Life is harsh and short, things like this make it worth it.

[TatiFish9]

Re: Michelle, the great mom

This is my opinion.

Michelle is an excellent mother to at least 6 of her kids at a time. lol The rest require sister/ brother mothering. Now that she has abour 6 out of the house, she can mold 6 more. 

Olders aiding in the rearing of youngers is typical of large families, fundie or not. The idea that chidlren are individuals who are not responsible for other members of the household is a fairly modern concept. 

Anywho, whether Michelle is a good mom is up for interpretation. But I know one thing; the Duggar brand was built on the back of Michelle's supposed greatness as a wife and mother. The general public (non fundie fans...pre-Josh gate) did not buy into the Duggars for Jim Bob's "charm" or budgeting tips alone. They did so because they saw a woman who was running an abundant household in a way that most people could/dared not. Even if we give the credit of strong obedient children to Jana (which I do mostly), the ability to get a sister-mom on board to the point where she is efficient enough to hold down the fort, is no easy task. Raising children who are well behaved takes lot of work. Just ask Jessa. lol No offense. But I suspect Jessa is not following blanket training or whatever the updated program is but I see both Jill(admittedly) and Anna following that fundie programming. The difference shows between their children and Spurgie. I do not advocate any of these systems but I'm pointing out observations.

One last note on Michelle, I believe she has strong character in that she lives the life she preaches. Even if her kids do not agree with that lifestyle, they respect her authenticity. I also suspected that she wanted to take another route with Josh in the early days, but Jim Bob chose something else (opinion). Not sure. Can't prove that part, but I believe there was discord there when crap hit the fan because of "I told you so!!!"  

 

 

 

[Beermeet]

@TatiFish9.  I really like what you said.  A fair assessment,  imo.  I too think Ben and Jessa are not blanket training, happy Spurgie proves it.  He's allowed to be a toddler.  I watched the most recent Counting On today and was impressed with their calmness when packing with a crying baby and curious happy Spurgie.  I liked her IG post being honest and calling out of people judging Every. Little. Thing.  I can totally identify whith them as parents.  From what I can see, that's how we were with our babies.  I'm glad Jessa married a man that is not into beating babies/children.  Ben does not seem like that ( or his parents, at least brag beating wise)  at all and Jessa and the kids are reaping the benefits of a good husband/father.  Can't snark on them for that.

D-wreak is a whole nother story.  I would be distressed to say the least if my husband tweeted about our son like that.  But, Jill posted swaddled what?  10 month old Israel?  Ugh.  Cannot identify with them on any level.  The new episode was more about danger sintral america when they showed the Dillder's.  I just can't.   I don't wish them bad; I just do not like them.  

[SapphireSlytherin]

It's a very SOUTHERN thing to call your parents Mama and Daddy forever. So I'm with the FJer above:  knock off the criticizing/hating/vilifying about it. 

I'm 50 and still call my male parent Daddy and that will never change. He's in my phone as "Daddy" and that's who he is. 

My female parent was Mama until the day she died (3+ years ago) and that's still how I refer to her. 

All my childhood friends -- male and female -- still use Mama and Daddy, and it's a very sweet Southern tradition that I hope never goes away.

/soapbox dismount including a back flip and a flounce

[TatiFish9]

@Beermeet I understand what you're saying. 

I don't relate to either couple. But I can say that no matter what a parent does right, people will criticize. On top of that, there is a strong chance the kids will complain about at least one thing they thought ya should have done better, once they've grown up.  It's par for the course. 

Jessa admitted that she is not calm. She also says it's crazy around there sometimes and Ben has to remind her not to get worked up. She has also pointed out a few times that she wished she was like her mom. I think that is what the long posts are about. How many of us thought we could do things better than our parents, only to find later on that maybe, just maybe, they had some things right? 

I thought it was interesting to see Jinger interact with Spurgeon. I find her to be the least like her mother, generally. But in the moments Spurgeon screamed or was loud, suddenly she went into Michelle 2.0 in attempts to hush-manage him. Odd, but interesting.

Jessa was overwhelmed this episode and there is nothing wrong with that. I want to make it clear. Everyone can not be Michelle Duggar and many of us don't want to be. But in a dream world, we could all have well behaved kids who can travel and move about the world in single-filed lines with blank smiles plastered on their faces, behaving as the world says they should behave. It's the fantasy (mixed in with latent notoriety) that has landed this family into fameville. That is why I say Michelle's greatness as a mother is up for interpretation.

[flycat]

I don't know if it's a fair comparison between Michelle 14 kids into parenting and Jessa two kids in. By the time she was on tv, the systems were long set and had been running for years. If we saw Michelle with just the first three we might see a few more similarities with jessa. 

[Gillyweed]

6 hours ago, TatiFish9 said:

I thought it was interesting to see Jinger interact with Spurgeon. I find her to be the least like her mother, generally. But in the moments Spurgeon screamed or was loud, suddenly she went into Michelle 2.0 in attempts to hush-manage him. Odd, but interesting.

Do you think that indicates how Jinger might parent her own kids? 

[TatiFish9]

1 hour ago, flycat said:

I don't know if it's a fair comparison between Michelle 14 kids into parenting and Jessa two kids in. By the time she was on tv, the systems were long set and had been running for years. If we saw Michelle with just the first three we might see a few more similarities with jessa. 

I agree. I don't think it's fair to compare parent to parent at all. However, the post I responded to was about Jessa's long messages to her mother & Michelle actually being a good mother. This is Jessa's POV. I remember her saying last season how her mom was so good at feeding times. She wants to get to that level. She said Michelle would have one kid on the lap and the others sitting nicely with a toy from a special feeding time play box. I do think Jessa is too hard on herself. As a fairly new mom she strives for a perfection she saw in her mom.

[SayWhat]

 

12 hours ago, TatiFish9 said:

Re: Michelle, the great mom

This is my opinion.

Michelle is an excellent mother to at least 6 of her kids at a time. lol The rest require sister/ brother mothering. Now that she has abour 6 out of the house, she can mold 6 more. 

Michelle is NOT an excellent mother to any of her kids.  After her son molested her daughters she did not get him the help he needed nor did she protect her daughters and it happened again.  She continued to not get him the help her needed and her solution was to marry him off young.  

I have no problem with older siblings helping younger siblings. I do have problems with older siblings becoming parents to younger siblings and those parents keep popping out  babies.  

When the Duggar Boy (Jason I think) fell through the orchestra pit at a church, what was Michelle doing, VIDEOTAPING IT on her phone. When little Jackson was lost in the airport, he runs to Jana not his Mom.  What was Micheele doing, she was on her  cell phone. 

Michelle oppresses her children, she does not allow them to go college, choose a career.  I recall Jill showing an interest in becoming an RN when JIll was catering to Michelle at the time Josie was in the NICU.  Was Jill supported in her interest to become an RN.  Of course NOT, it is not a Gothard choice for women.  But being a "fake" mid-wife is !  

Jinger clearly expressed an interest in city life and in photography.  Was she encouraged in those interests, Nooooooo ! No photography classes for her.  Michelle's comment was along the lines of  just needs to be by a Wal-Mart.  

Josh wanted to be an attorney (which means pre-law at an accredited college) was he allowed to pursue his dreams. Umm - no, he was made into a used car salesman.  Credit to Josh(who is  a major douche)  he was able to secure a job in Washington DC, so he clearly had interests outside of being a used care salesman. 

Michelle was not running an abundant household  (I am not even sure I know what the hell that means).  They eat unhealthy processed crap  on  paper plates.  They stay up till all hours of the night. Can never be anywhere on time.  

I have no idea if her kids respect her or not. I believe they probably feared her when they were young thanks to the crazy shit that is Michael & Debbie Peals to Train up  a child.   Hell, I'd fear her to, if she looked at me with those crazy ass bug eyes.  

I could go on and on and on .... but I need to stop. 

[flycat]

11 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

I agree. I don't think it's fair to compare parent to parent at all. However, the post I responded to was about Jessa's long messages to her mother & Michelle actually being a good mother. This is Jessa's POV. I remember her saying last season how her mom was so good at feeding times. She wants to get to that level. She said Michelle would have one kid on the lap and the others sitting nicely with a toy from a special feeding time play box. I do think Jessa is too hard on herself. As a fairly new mom she strives for a perfection she saw in her mom.

I agree. I think that jessa remembers when she was a teen/preteen and there were so many older kids to help fill in gaps that it may have seemed idyllic with cute babies sitting nicely with toys.  I hope Jessa can be kind to herself. 

[TatiFish9]

1 hour ago, Gillyweed said:

Do you think that indicates how Jinger might parent her own kids? 

This is a really good question! 

I think at this point it is more of an indication of her parenting philosophy, but not necessarily how she will carry out co-parenting with Jeremy. I know during last season's after show, Jessa mentioned something to the likes of it being okay for Jinger to have an epidural. I wonder if Jinger admitted she did not agree with home deliveries specifically because it requires the mother to pain through labor. Jinger also mentioned this episode that she could not imagine having two so close together. She labelled it "lots of responsibility".Yet a few segments before that she gushes about she and Jessa being so close in age and doing everything together. I can't read Jinjer. They're an enigma to me.

 

If I had to guess, I would say Jinger has strong criticisms about the way she was raised. She looks down on it. She does not want that life for herself. I also think she does not look forard to going back to AR. She reminds me of Alyssa Bates in that way. Alyssa makes it clear that her large family annoys her. lol However she wants 6 kids. Old values die hard.

[SassyPants]

So yesterday, the hubs and I were hiking in the Sierras, and we came across another couple. The woman was wearing a jean skirt and ballet flats. You know I did a quick double take, not a Duggar. My hubs: who comes our here ( it was very rough, rocky and steep terrain) dressed like that? Me: don't ask.

[RosyDaisy]

Daddy isn't weird to me. In the south mama and daddy are the norm. My sister and I refer to each other as sissy.