Maxwell 9: Woks and spices - what's next?

[fundiefan]

I spent last night at a college graduation party for a friend's daughter. Said daughter is 23 years old and just graduated with a masters degree in mechanical engineering. She has a job waiting for her that pays almost twice what I make at my job.

She is single and using her 'single years' wisely. Obtaining her degree in five years was just one of the wise choices she made. Not getting married & making babies was a wise choice. Not getting into trouble or straying from her very own personal goals based on her interests and strengths.

She is leaving tomorrow for a 2 week trip to Europe where she will see & experience different cultures and see the places she personally has dreamt about seeing for years. 

When she gets back, she starts that well paying job which she obtained because of her education. While living in the apartment she rented using her own resources with the puppy she chose to rescue a few weeks ago. In the city where she went to college which is about 300 miles from where her mother lives.

Which young twenty something single woman is living a life worth living and using her 'single' years with a purpose and reason?

[freejugar]

I hope they will continue those posts that describe a day in the life...

They will be great for snark

I wonder what Jesse does all day

[anjulibai]

Another "Content in Christ" post is up on the blog. It's another story of a young man working hard to be debt free.

Of course that young man was raised on a dairy farm, and was paid for his work by his father. His grandfather also gave him land to build a house on. And his father and grandfather used equipment that they owned to help him build the house and did some of the work for him, including getting power out there. And family helped build the house.

But it was totally him being committed to being debt free and not him not buying hip clothes and coffee and gadgets (all of which the Maxwells do!).

Steve Maxwell is so freaking tone deaf. I'd love for him to admit it can't be done by a normal family. 

[johnhugh]

It's rather odd how these debt-free house stories are all very similar....hmmmm

[kpmom]

This young man's debt free story really proves what many here have been saying about it being difficult, almost impossible for a young person to buy a house debt free these days.

He himself admitted, though he saved his money faithfully, he could not afford to buy a house debt free.  Without his grandfather's generosity, and his family's help, he still would not be living mortgage free.  I'm not really sure what Steve thinks this story proves, other than houses are way too expensive for most newly married couples to buy outright, no matter how much they want to.

[fundiefan]

Of course we could all be "debt free" if we live with our parents so they can buy our food and deodorant and pay for our insurance. It your parents are unwilling or able to support their 20_something offspring, then god has gone wild and the world is upside down. 

If you have to pay rent, buy food, buy personal care items, pay for insurance - - pay rent - - then god doesn't like you.

You are only worthy if you live off your parents and grandparents. 

In the real world, if you are 20 and don't even have to buy mac & cheese or toothpaste, you are a loser and not worth a decent person's time. In fundieland...you are a godly man preparing for a godly breeder wife. 

 

[anjulibai]

Teri's answer to this comment is dripping with condescension. Yes, Teri, living at home is "help". 

Quote

Lauren says:

June 3, 2017 at 12:15 pm

Amos is very fortunate that his father and grandfather were able to help him. So few young men are so fortunate, though. My husband and I would like own a home debt free, and we are working towards that, but for the area we live, and given my husband’s income (not small for this area, either!), it will be many, many years before we are able to buy a house. My husbands parents would love to help, but they can’t beyond some money gifts for holidays and birthdays (which we duly save). They didn’t buy their home debt free, though they worked to pay off that debt and don’t really worry about money anymore. Whenever I hear stories like Amos’s, of parents and grandparents helping their sons out, it makes me sad because I wonder if my husband and I will be able to do the same for our two boys. If you all come across a story of a young family able to buy a house debt free without any help, please post it, because it would be such an encouragement!

Reply

Teri says:

June 3, 2017 at 7:46 pm

That’s very admirable that you have not only a desire to own a home debt free but that you are working towards it.

There are stories of young men in our book Buying a House Debt Free who bought their houses debt free without help from family, unless you call living with your parents until you are married “help.”

We didn’t help our sons except for giving them the debt-free vision, encouraging them to be learners and to work hard, to save money, and to allow them to live at home until they were married.

Did you read the last story we shared? Part 1 was published on our blog March 10, 2017. That young man was an air conditioning mechanic. From his story, the only help he received was living at home.

While it may still take you many years to own a home debt free, perhaps your sons will do it before they are married or at least have a substantial down payment with little debt left to pay off. You will have helped your sons tremendously by that. I think you will be starting them down the right road with your example, encouraging them to learn and work hard, and teaching them to save. What a heritage!

Reply

 

[SPHASH]

38 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

Teri's answer to this comment is dripping with condescension. Yes, Teri, living at home is "help". 

 

Griselda Teri is still a fucking bitch.

[HermioneSparrow]

WTF with that response? Can Teri just STFU?!?! What a bitch!!! Ugh, can we all stop feeling bad for her? She's the worst!!!

The Maxweirdos don't live in the real world, the vast majority of us can't be debt free that easily because we have responsabilities and we are productive members of society who contribute to our communities by educating ourselves, paying taxes, etc. We are not a bunch of adults living of mommy and daddy sitting on our asses all day reading the bible and cleaning ceiling fans. Just SHUT UP Teri! 

[nausicaa]

Seriously, Teri doesn't think that living at home rent-free until your late twenties is "help"? Lady, that's the equivalent of giving your kids $600 a month at least!

[FloraDoraDolly]

20 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

Seriously, Teri doesn't think that living at home rent-free until your late twenties is "help"? Lady, that's the equivalent of giving your kids $600 a month at least!

I've known parents who charge their adult children rent, but they weren't fundies.

[HoneyBunny]

23 minutes ago, FloraDoraDolly said:

I've known parents who charge their adult children rent, but they weren't fundies.

I paid room and board to my parents from the day I graduated high school until I moved out the last semester of my senior year at college. Plus I paid my own university tuition and books and fees and health insurance costs and medical bills and car costs (though I was given use of a 14-year old Ford). 

I would consider the use of that Ford to be 'help'.

So yes, Teri, kidults living at home for free after high school graduation is definitely 'help'. 

Geesh. These people. 

[nausicaa]

27 minutes ago, FloraDoraDolly said:

I've known parents who charge their adult children rent, but they weren't fundies.

I lived at home until I was 28 to save up for the down payment on a house--and my mom charged me rent! Plus I had to pay for all of my own food, toiletries, insurance, and phone expenses. I don't think she was being a hard ass either. I was an adult and was earning an income. 

[Divemaster01]

Also, how can Teri assume Lauren's sons are going to get married. Not everyone does Teri!  Fundies make no allowances for individuality, but we knew that.  

[nvmbr02]

We've told our three children they can live at home, rent free, until they graduate college provided they are making reasonable progress toward graduation. They can't just take one class a semester and live at home forever, but there is some wiggle room. If they choose not to go to college they have one year to make a plan. After that they need to move out or pay rent to us. Obviously, there is a bit of flexibility for different circumstances, but that is the base plan. 

My husband's parents booted him out the door the same day he graduated and he ended up enlisting in the military because he had nowhere else to go, even though he was working full time. He just couldn't afford to live anywhere, let alone pay for college or save for a house. We don't want our kids to be at home forever, we want them to be independent but I can not imagine kicking them out when they have no other alternative either. 

[LaughingDonuts]

I was allowed to live rent free as long as I was in school or working, adding up to the equivalent of full time. At one point, I had two part time jobs, an internship, and a class. Living at home was most certainly help, since even renting a room would easily have been $600 in my area. 

My headship and I own a small home now, probably purchased for more than double the cost of something similar in central Kansas. We owe, but have equity at least.

[Coconutwater]

Steve and Teri were probably in debt a bit after college and getting married so they know what the real world is like they just choose to forget and make themselves feel superior. Not all fundies come from parents with what Steve has which is money from a severance and possibly savings from his 401K to help his kids be debt free. They both need to STFU. After HS my options were get a job and find an apartment like an adult (I had six months to find a place with a co-signer) or go to college. I went to school, there's no way I would have been able to buy a house debt free. I still don't own. 

[Black Aliss]

44 minutes ago, Coconutwater said:

Steve and Teri were probably in debt a bit after college and getting married so they know what the real world is like they just choose to forget and make themselves feel superior. 

They are old enough that their debt, if they did have any, would have been in the thousands, not tens of thousands. I'm about Steve's age and when I started University full-time tuition was $98/quarter.

[Four is Enough]

3 hours ago, nvmbr02 said:

. We don't want our kids to be at home forever, we want them to be independent but I can not imagine kicking them out when they have no other alternative either. 

You might, if you had one who thinks our purpose in life is to support him in the manner to which he'd like to become accustomed. I'm ready to drive that one to the homeless shelter. No job, no interest, no money, no ambition.. just consume.

[tehfanglyfish]

Not to get too off topic but with regard to the grandfather giving away land... these people stress big families. Ok. Even if a patriarch has a lot of land, over several generations, it's going to get divided up. It can't last forever. That's why you see a shift in medieval kingdoms in Europe from partible inheritance (each heir got roughly an equal piece of the inheritance) to primogeniture (eldest son took all). 

[elliha]

I plan to charge rent from my kids as soon as they quit high school. Not a lot, just enough to cover food and a symbolic sum for their room along with helping with home responsibities. I would want my kids to stay at home if that is what they like but because it is convenient. What I plan to charge would still be much cheaper than paying actual rent so they would still have plenty of opportunity to save or reduce their debt with regards to student loans. Whether college will still be free when they are old enough to go or not we will never be able to pay for it so I expect they will have some level of debt. I have entered them into the system to be able to get an apartment of their own when they are old enough too if they choose to leave us and they have money to pay for a flat through work or student loans. It would have been lovely to be able to afford buying a flat in town the kids could rent but that is probably never going to be possible for us. We will be glad enough if we will ever be able to afford to buy a house.

[onekidanddone]

16 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Griselda Teri is still a fucking bitch.

I have this feeling their "stories" of debt free men are just fiction.

[nvmbr02]

5 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

You might, if you had one who thinks our purpose in life is to support him in the manner to which he'd like to become accustomed. I'm ready to drive that one to the homeless shelter. No job, no interest, no money, no ambition.. just consume.

Yes, you are right, I might but I hope I wont. I meant more like booting them out in the car on the way home the graduation ceremony with no advanced warning. I like my mother in law , but even she admits she didn't do right by my husband. He was a good kid, never in trouble, decent grades and worked full time. But his step father didn't want to support him, they had two toddlers and were tight on space. 

It sounds like you have given your son a lot of chances to grow up and now you are in a tough situation. I am sorry it has come to that. I am sure you will make the best choice available to you. 

 

3 hours ago, elliha said:

I plan to charge rent from my kids as soon as they quit high school. Not a lot, just enough to cover food and a symbolic sum for their room along with helping with home responsibities. I would want my kids to stay at home if that is what they like but because it is convenient. What I plan to charge would still be much cheaper than paying actual rent so they would still have plenty of opportunity to save or reduce their debt with regards to student loans. Whether college will still be free when they are old enough to go or not we will never be able to pay for it so I expect they will have some level of debt. I have entered them into the system to be able to get an apartment of their own when they are old enough too if they choose to leave us and they have money to pay for a flat through work or student loans. It would have been lovely to be able to afford buying a flat in town the kids could rent but that is probably never going to be possible for us. We will be glad enough if we will ever be able to afford to buy a house.

Oh yeah, I would totally charge my kids rent if college was free here. But it isn't and we wont be able to pay for it all either. We have put some money way to help them a bit and we hope they will take the college level classes available to them in high school for a very reduced cost but unless they get a full scholarship or join the military they will likely have loans if they choose college. Room and board is probably the least expensive part, but hopefully it will help them some.

 

Really though, it just shows how out of touch the Maxwell family is. Most people have some sort of post secondary education they need to pay for. Many people live in areas that have significantly higher housing prices than Kansas. Most people aren't given land and don't have the ability (or desire really) to live at home until they are married or forever if they don't marry. 

I would love to own our home free and clear, but it isn't likely to happen until we are close to retirement.

[SassyPants]

Debt free advice

#1- Get grandpa to give you a free piece of property...what kind of freaking world do these people live in?  Shut up already. My parents have 3 homes, 2 sons and 6 grandsons...do the effing math.

I just can't with these people.

The places in this country where there are many, good jobs, that pay well and have benefits that would support an average family, are not in cheap places to own land or to live.

I swear to Bob, idiots who do not live in the real world, and who do not work for livings should not be shelling out financial or economic advice to young people!

[Foudeb]

I think this entire buying a house debt-free is the male equivalent of female purity - it's presented as a worthy, godly standard of behaviour, and yet in practise it's impossible to achieve (unless they wait until they're in their 40s to marry / are completely asexual). Both can be used to guilt younger people - "look, you haven't done what god requires you do, you worthless piece of crap... but we love you anyway, because Jeeeeesus, so you better stick with us as no one else will ever love you) - to make them less likely to leave the cult.

Young men must also be at greater risk of leaving the cult (they have the opportunity to develop real-world wage earning skills) so the element of bribery - free land, free construction help, free advice - can help keep them in the cult.

I don't believe for one moment it's a tenet of their dogma for any other reason. The new testament is not a guide to real estate buying strategies no matter how you interpret it.