All Things Anna Duggar

[browngrl]

I think it would take something terrible for her to leave and I just don't think Josh has the energy to do anything bad enough to spur Anna to leave. For pretty much any indiscretion/marital discord/marital unhappiness I think Anna will just blame herself for not being submissive enough. I think that if she did leave she would find it very difficult to make a living. She would probably have several young children and I don't think her education/up bringing has prepared her to work outside the home. I am not saying it would be impossible only that it would be hard and I just don't know if Anna has that kind of fortitude.

I hope the Anna and Josh are happy because I don't see that either of them has many options.

[YPestis]

The fact that Anna would have a hard time finding employment might be enough for them to decide to give Josh primary custody, especially if the Duggars have good lawyers, which they could afford, and Anna likely could not.

My understanding is the primary caretaker typically gets the kids. The primary breadwinner pays child support. If judges based their decision, in any part, on who has more money, most women and homemakers would lose custody of their children during divorce and that is not the case these days. I would say Anna is almost guaranteed custody unless they can prove abuse. She has the advantage of showing the patriarchy lifestyle she and Josh adheres to to prove that she is very much the primary caretaker. That is essentially enough to let her have at the very least joint custody. Josh will have to make do with paying her child support. I will say that given his own finances, and his dependency on his parents for his house and business, Anna may have difficulties getting much money from Josh. Josh can easily show, on paper, he is asset and income poor.

Anna can break away from the fundie lifestyle, but it will be increasingly hard with more children in tow. She will have to go on welfare for a while unless she gets family financial support. She'll probably have to find a low paying job eventually and maybe....MAYBE find a way to go to college/higher education and improve her finances.

The problem is more psychological. Anna will have to go against everything she's taught to accomplish all this, and each hardship she encounters can be construed as "punishment" for not following God's plan or going against God's wishes etc. Anna will have to have huge incentive to leave Josh. The only thing I can see is abuse or extreme financial stress----i.e Josh isn't willing to put in the work to support their family and she is seeing her children starve and finding herself working to make ends meet. It's only when Anna is forced into a nontraditional role that I can see her finally realizing what a dude she's yoked to.

[Witsec5]

Josh's brand of narcissism is hard to take for years on end. I think he needs to devalue her in order to elevate himself. He might eventually discard her (figuratively if not literally), cheat on her and blame her for it. I know this is a wild prediction, but something about Josh's sorry ass entitled attitude tells me this. My other prediction is that, as an outcome, A's self-esteem will be zero and she will have nothing left to lose. What J is doing to A is soul-killing stuff and I do call it abuse. A at zero will be desperate and will have nothing to give to her children in terms of emotional nourishment. She might find something in her that will push toward survival and she will leave order to protect her children. It could happen, as someone has said, when her older daughter approaches courting age. I hope before. At the very least, I hope the Duggar daughters are watching the J&A relationship closely and are compelled to make different decisions for their lives.

I guess that is an individual question as to how much misery can a person take before he/she can't take it anymore and has to leave? Anna is more bitch than martyr and she can only turn her misery outward for so long before it catches up to her. Still wonder though--does being on a TV show magnify one's bad qualities and allow narcissism to go unchecked? I guess only time will tell if the exposure will hasten a divide between J&A. Karma's a bitch and I think they are both due for a double-sized scoop.

[lilwriter85]

Am I remembering this correctly? Didn't the Duggar sisters invade Anna's privacy about her first pregnancy. I remember her saying that they began very early in her marriage to ask if she was pregnant.

I think that did happen. Jill, Jana and Jessa seem to be nosy when it comes to Anna. I believe Jill and Jana were with Anna during her deliveries of Mack and Michael.

[lilwriter85]

I agree with others, Anna's "education" will not help her at all. I could see her working as aide in daycare or preschool or maybe as a nanny as others have suggested. I think once the TLC gravy train ends, she and Josh will have less but won't be in poverty. I can see their business struggling and at one point, the first car lot struggled. If Anna leaves Josh, she would have a hard time with a divorce and other issues.

[Feberin]

I also think that the small glimpses of independent thinking we have seen ( the tv, pants on Mack, etc) bode well for the future. At some point, when the cameras stop rolling, I can definitely see them quietly deciding to stop pumping out the babies. Anna comes from a much smaller family, and quite honestly, I don't think Josh really enjoyed growing up with so many siblings. I think they follow the party line just for the cameras, and once they stop rolling, they may quietly shut down the baby factory.

Anna might come from a smaller family but I don't think her parents ever took measures to prevent additional children. Her mother just didn't have Michelle's insane fertility. There is a reason that there are many QF families but only a couple have 15+ kids. Isn't the average number around 8-10? I also don't think the TV was something that was Anna as much as Josh. Remember how excited he was to come home from work and watch TV?

I don't see Josh and Anna divorcing. I'm sure there will be times that Anna will want to leave but with her children, somewhat fame and lack of support from her parents I see her sticking it out. Even if Josh cheats or the live in poverty.

[Buzzard]

Josh will cheat on her. When the show ends and he goes on "tour" for his book about fixing souls like broken cars he will meet up with some young, hot, naive "groupies" and pound em. Anna will never leave him. She made a promise to god and, for better or worse, she will stand behind it. She will spend her time chasing babies until she has a breakdown and one of the j'slaves takes over for a few months. Then the baby shop will silently close shop, not because of BC, but because she cant stand the sight of her husband anymore.

Her future aint bright, but she chose it...

[Witsec5]

Then the baby shop will silently close shop, not because of BC, but because she cant stand the sight of her husband anymore.

Her future aint bright, but she chose it...

[luv2laugh]

Do you guys think it is kind of silly of me to feel envious of Anna and Josh? I feel like they make themselves out to be the perfect know-it all couple. It makes me feel bad about my own relationship with my boyfriend. I don't know why.

[Jessica]

What can you say about you and your boyfriend's relationship? Do you make each other laugh? Do you guys do fun things together? Do you leave each other little love notes or do cute things for each other? If you can answer any of those questions with a yes, or think of things like that that you do for each other, then you have a heck of a lot more going on than Josh & Anna, from what gets shown on TV. What can they say about their relationship? That they waited to kiss on their wedding day, and that's...about...it...

[BlondeAgent007]

What about Anna's experience behind the desk at the car lot? I saw her there in the show frequently, and she did say she worked there. My guess is that before the kids, she did most of that work herself while josh went around buying clunkers and hummers. I'm sure with experience running a business, she could at least get a decent secretarial job.

[flojo]

What about Anna's experience behind the desk at the car lot? I saw her there in the show frequently, and she did say she worked there. My guess is that before the kids, she did most of that work herself while josh went around buying clunkers and hummers. I'm sure with experience running a business, she could at least get a decent secretarial job.

Agreed. Or quite the lucrative tell all book deal!

[lilwriter85]

I agree Anna's experience working at the car lot could come in handy if she had to seek employment if she was to leave Josh or if she and Josh hit hard times which can happen for various reasons.

I think if Anna did divorce Josh, I don't see her writing a tell all book. She would probably fear the wrath of the Duggars and their supporters. Josh is a fundie prince and in some fundie circles, he probably can't do wrong in anyone's eyes. If Anna doesn't fear wrath, maybe she would be brave enough to write a tell all. I have a feeling that Anna probably isn't fond of the Duggars 24/7. She probably gets annoyed with the J'Slaves being nosy and I can sort of see her being irritated at times with Boob and Mullet.

[gilora]

Do you guys think it is kind of silly of me to feel envious of Anna and Josh? I feel like they make themselves out to be the perfect know-it all couple. It makes me feel bad about my own relationship with my boyfriend. I don't know why.

Would your boyfriend take a nap while you are in the final stages of a long labor?

Would your boyfriend, knowing you have a fear of heights, force you onto a ferris wheel and dangle your daughter over the side?

Would your boyfriend take a camera crew on a tour of your vacation rental and tell them you've "been" in every room?

Would your boyfriend give an interview while you lug heavy suitcases to the car for a vacation?

If you can answer "no" to any of the above questions, you are better off than Anna.

As for some of the other topics raised, I don't think Anna and Josh will ever divorce. That being said, Anna's parents do seem to genuinely care about Mack and Michael so if Anna were to leave, they would probably take her in, while exhorting her to return to her marriage.

[bananacat]

Do you guys think it is kind of silly of me to feel envious of Anna and Josh? I feel like they make themselves out to be the perfect know-it all couple. It makes me feel bad about my own relationship with my boyfriend. I don't know why.

It's all an act. They are Evangelicals and they have to put on a happy face no matter what. Their plan is to trick people into thinking their lifestyle is just unending pure bliss, so that people will want to convert. But if you scratch a little beneath the surface, you will realize how much of a drain their lifestyle is. They really don't know everything and are having the same problems that every couple has, but they're not allowed to ever talk about their problems so they fester instead of getting resolved.

[HowRude]

I think that if Anna ever wanted to leave Josh she would feel too guilty to do so. I think she may feel pressure from both of their families and from Gothard. Also her education is not sufficient to operate in the real world with two children so far.

[lilwriter85]

It's all an act. They are Evangelicals and they have to put on a happy face no matter what. Their plan is to trick people into thinking their lifestyle is just unending pure bliss, so that people will want to convert. But if you scratch a little beneath the surface, you will realize how much of a drain their lifestyle is. They really don't know everything and are having the same problems that every couple has, but they're not allowed to ever talk about their problems so they fester instead of getting resolved.

Good post bananacat. At times you can tell with some of the fundie couples from blogs, documentaries or the Duggars' show that there are signs of everything not being a pure bliss. I think Josh and Anna right now revel in having people look up to them. Both have a smug attitudes and they act like they are experts at marriage. They have only been married a few years and they offer counseling to other couples. In the end it is an act.

The lifestyle of fundie couples is draining. Even though Josh and Anna only have two kids right now, I think just being around the Duggars probably drains Anna.

[slickcat79]

What about Anna's experience behind the desk at the car lot? I saw her there in the show frequently, and she did say she worked there. My guess is that before the kids, she did most of that work herself while josh went around buying clunkers and hummers. I'm sure with experience running a business, she could at least get a decent secretarial job.

I don't think Anna actually did anything on her own initiative at the car lot. She struggled with helping customers do all of their paperwork for car purchases, and had to have Josh talk her through them. She couldn't answer too many questions about the merchandise because she doesn't really know anything about cars. Not that Josh is a genius or anything, but JB did teach him a good bit about fixing up and maintaining vehicles. Even if she were a full-on office manager, 6-12 months of nonconsecutive part-time office work at a family owned car lot with 2 employees is not going to impress too many future employers.

I don't think they'll ever get divorced, but I can maybe see the shifting away from the full fundie QF lifestyle a bit. I don't think Anna will be happy with her life, but she made her choices, so she'll either have to live with them or develop some serious backbone to be able to make new ones.