Tori Bates Courtship- Part 2

[Mela99]

My god - does this mean they're --- DATING !?

[Carm_88]

1 minute ago, Mela99 said:

My god - does this mean they're --- DATING !?

Sure they are...with a purpose  

[Tangy Bee]

But...I thought they were already dating. ha ha

[Munichnark]

But at least this means they are not rushing into anything. Now as much as I'm disenchanted with them, they do seem to care a lot more about their children''s happiness than the bloody awful Duggars.

[Lurky]

It's like the old "understandings"in the 19th & early 20th century in the UK/USA, where couples could have an understanding that they wanted an engagement in the future, but are too young to get engaged ("I can't wear his ring, but I'm wearing his fraternity pin on my corset cover" etc)

My partner's v small town has a similar, more hilarious version - the difference between people getting engaged, and "engaged to be married", which is a distinction that boggles me, but is a local thing....

[RosyDaisy]

I think "special friend" and "getting to know" is just another way of saying courting.

[formergothardite]

11 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

I think "special friend" and "getting to know" is just another way of saying courting.

Yep. They just learned to market themselves better and I really doubt they care more about their children's happiness than the Duggars. I will never understand why people think Gil and Kelly love and care for their children more than Michelle and Jim Bob. 

[alba]

1 minute ago, formergothardite said:

Yep. They just learned to market themselves better and I really doubt they care more about their children's happiness than the Duggars. I will never understand why people think Gil and Kelly love and care for their children more than Michelle and Jim Bob. 

Out of the four of them Jim Bob is the one who, IMO, has shown the most natural affection for his children. The way he's teared up at his daughters' weddings and been shown playing with the Lost Girls makes him almost look like a normal father. However, that affection wasn't enough for him to move their molester out of the house or to give them a proper education and allow them to grow into independent adults, so it really doesn't count for all that much.

[formergothardite]

42 minutes ago, alba said:

However, that affection wasn't enough for him to move their molester out of the house or to give them a proper education and allow them to grow into independent adults, so it really doesn't count for all that much.

No, it really doesn't. Of course, Gil sent his daughters off to travel with a guy who he knew had a long history of accusations that he sexually assaulted the teen girls who traveled with him. They are both terrible fathers. 

Gil can name is children, something Kelly struggles with, so he might end up being the more involved parent in that house. 

[alba]

21 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

No, it really doesn't. Of course, Gil sent his daughters off to travel with a guy who he knew had a long history of accusations that he sexually assaulted the teen girls who traveled with him. They are both terrible fathers. 

Gil can name is children, something Kelly struggles with, so he might end up being the more involved parent in that house. 

Exactly. They're all awful parents, just different shades of awful.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Yep. They just learned to market themselves better and I really doubt they care more about their children's happiness than the Duggars. I will never understand why people think Gil and Kelly love and care for their children more than Michelle and Jim Bob. 

Because they are shinier and have better PR people who had the huge advantage of going second and learning from the Duggars mistakes.

I am well aware of the ugliness that drive Gil and Kelly but I remember a few years back seeing a pic of Kelly cuddled up with a bunch of the littles reading to them and I had this stab of jealousy.  Kelly is older, but my kids are all young adults and no longer pile on my lap for stories, and I wanted that.  

Then I smacked my head and realized that for a second even I'd taken the bait.  

I've never seen an image of Michelle or Jim-Bob that made me envy them...This is why if anything the Bates are more dangerous than the Duggars - the insidious appeal they can pull off at times.

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 hours ago, alba said:

Out of the four of them Jim Bob is the one who, IMO, has shown the most natural affection for his children. The way he's teared up at his daughters' weddings and been shown playing with the Lost Girls makes him almost look like a normal father. However, that affection wasn't enough for him to move their molester out of the house or to give them a proper education and allow them to grow into independent adults, so it really doesn't count for all that much.

I have always thought that underneath the shitty parenting and harmful beliefs J-B actually does have genuine affection for his kids.  It excuses nothing, but parenting and emotions are complicated and really bad parenting and even abuse (in general - not specifically referring to anything here) can often co-exist with genuine love for their kids.  

Given we know nothing but what's been spoon fed to us via reality tv and their own spin take this with 100 lbs of salt but of the two my money would be on J-B actually loving his kids as people beyond their usefulness as props.

Again not excusing his culpability in what he's done to them and spreading the word to try to encourage other people to cripple their own children -and it's damning with very faint praise to say he's capable of more human emotion than Michelle who always seems dead behind the eyes to me.  Her affect scares the shit out of me.

When I sit here and think about how childhood Buffy would gravitate to J-B as the best parent of the four its a really sad commentary on the lot of them.

 

 

[Carm_88]

2 hours ago, alba said:

Exactly. They're all awful parents, just different shades of awful.

50 Shades of Fundie- Varying degrees of awful and horrible. 

[RosyDaisy]

More like 50 shades of evil.

[SassyPants]

T and B VS J and A...

The winner will be the couple with the skills, education and knowledge needed to support a family. Shortest length of time to the altar is NOT an indication of winning. Add in some real work ethic and viola, we have a winner.

Idiots.

[Englandgirl2491]

Have any of you seen this?

[Carm_88]

21 hours ago, Englandgirl2491 said:

Have any of you seen this?

That's interesting! Does it mean that they are full on courting? Officially!  

[Englandgirl2491]

11 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

That's interesting! Does it mean that they are full on courting? Officially!  

That is what I was thinking. Why not just announce it?

[Carm_88]

3 minutes ago, Englandgirl2491 said:

That is what I was thinking. Why not just announce it?

To make people watch it and see it. It's all about the ratings. 

[eleanora3]

Didn't Tori say she wants to wait until she's finished with her education to get married? That would be 2018, right? Unless she changed her mind

[Mela99]

Trace is actually going to get a job? And his parents will allow that? I'm hesitant to believe that....

Also, is this the first we've ever heard the church dream?

[nausicaa]

2 hours ago, Mela99 said:

Trace is actually going to get a job? And his parents will allow that? I'm hesitant to believe that....

Also, is this the first we've ever heard the church dream?

I think it's the same church Gil has been conducting out of that Days Inn/Holiday Inn conference room? I'm guessing now they're trying to construct an actual church building. 

[formergothardite]

I wonder if Trace actually works at the Dixie Stampede or if it is just something for the show. I can see Gil and Kelly letting Trace do that since he is a guy. 

The church thing is probably Gil and Kelly trying to grift money to build a church. 

[RosyDaisy]

Trace is actually going to get a job? And his parents will allow that? I'm hesitant to believe that....
Also, is this the first we've ever heard the church dream?

He's saving up so that one day he will be ready to get married and provide for his future wife and kids. I don't think this means anything. In fact, on an episode BUB Kelly was flat out said Trace he could go to Crown College. Gil and Kelly would pay for it. He also had the choice of working with Gil or start his own compay.

[Melissa1977]

11 minutes ago, RosyDaisy said:

He's saving up so that one day he will be ready to get married and provide for his future wife and kids. I don't think this means anything. In fact, on an episode BUB Kelly was flat out said Trace he could go to Crown College. Gil and Kelly would pay for it. He also had the choice of working with Gil or start his own compay.

Bates boys don't seem confortable with college. I'm not snarking here, but I think they're real country boys who are not interested in studying but on working, outdoor living, etc. I'm sure Kelly would like to have some of them in college, she tried to convince Nathan to study for being a preacher o something like that, but it never happened.

It's a shame girls are not encouraged to attend accreditted colleges, because if someone in this family can have a real degree, it's one of the girls.