Jump to content
IGNORED

"Disturbing" Fundie Couple - 11smiths


Kira
 Share

Recommended Posts

Quote

According to page 13 of this PDF, he had 39 years teaching experience in 2011

If this is teaching experience requiring a BA then he would be (22 plus 39 plus 4)  65 and he looks every bit of it.  Now some people in their mid 60's, early 70's remain fit and active but judging by his pot belly I would say he is not one of them.  I would guess he is already retired which for many folks means becoming inactive and sedentary.  I agree that in 10 years or less there is going to be nursing involved as well as all the grunt work (like lawn mowing) plus maybe even all the driving.  She'll be nurse maid, taxi driver, cook, house cleaner, and secretary as well as sexual partner.  I just hope she is doing this of her free own will and isn't being pressured into it.

On a purely base level I feel a bit sad for her that she will never know the embrace of a young sex god who will sweep her up and carry her off to bed to cavort all night in abandoned, tumultuous sex.  Russell looks like he has bad breath, a flabby chest, and a weak heart. 

  • Upvote 10
Link to comment
Share on other sites

39 minutes ago, Handmaiden of Dog said:

If this is teaching experience requiring a BA then he would be (22 plus 39 plus 4)  65 and he looks every bit of it. 

He has 39 years of teaching music.  For all we know, he started 'teaching' when he was 13.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

Except someone posted above that he had 39 years of teaching experience as of 2011. That's not possible for someone in their early 50s. 

I have to say, I do find the age difference even in a secular context creepy. I have a recent example in my family. 

My mom's older brother, who turned 62 in August, just married a woman who is 33. My uncle's older daughter is 35. His younger daughter is 28. So, he's with a woman who is the same generation as his daughters. He and his wife had a baby this fall, so everyone plays nice, but yes, it is squicking family members out. 

Yes, it is possible if the teaching experience is in private music lessons, which his is.  I know this guy (or at least I used to).  As far as I know, he has never been married.  He is a nice guy, somewhat awkward.  I think he is close to my age, so mid-50s.

I'm actually in shock right now.

  • Upvote 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, VVV said:

Yes, it is possible if the teaching experience is in private music lessons, which his is.  I know this guy (or at least I used to).  As far as I know, he has never been married.  He is a nice guy, somewhat awkward.  I think he is close to my age, so mid-50s.

I'm actually in shock right now.

Whaaaaat. Tell us EVERYTHING!

  • Upvote 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It looks like both of them have an interest in music. Maybe that is the basis on which they ended up together, and I guess having something in common other than Jesus is more than a lot of fundie couples have. However, I would not be surprised at all if Russell decided to court her consciously or unconsciously because he realizes that he will need someone to take care of him over the coming years as he gets older. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

Spill the tea, VVV! Give us the hot gossip.

There's not much to tell; it's been decades since I saw him but at one time we were colleagues.  I have been trying to think of what I can tell that won't give too much information about either him or me.  He's always been a quiet, kind of awkward guy but he does have a sense of humor.  I don't recall him dating at all though my sense at the time was that he was a commitment avoider--that could be totally wrong--we always got along but I would not describe us as having been close friends.  So take my comments with a grain of salt because I have very little idea of what he was ever like outside of work.

He takes what he does for a living very seriously.  His FB page is pretty typical of a normal non-crazy right-wing kind of guy.  Lots of conservative memes but no hateful stuff.

If he is the person I remember him being, he will be a kind and attentive husband if a little rigid.  Other than the age difference, I don't find this odd and it doesn't creep me out.  She is definitely not marrying him for money.  I wish them both much happiness. 

 

 

  • Upvote 20
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm thinking about how physical taking care of young children is: carrying them up and down stairs, wrestling them into clean diapers and clothes (or is that just my kid?), even lifting them into and out of high chairs, playpens, cribs, etc., many times a day. It's not easy for *me*, and I'm "only" 38 with a ~20 lb. kid. Seems like this would be rough on a 50-/60-year-old guy who, by the looks of him, isn't in good shape. But who am I kidding? Most fundie men don't do the hard work of child care.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, VVV said:

There's not much to tell; it's been decades since I saw him but at one time we were colleagues.  I have been trying to think of what I can tell that won't give too much information about either him or me.  He's always been a quiet, kind of awkward guy but he does have a sense of humor.  I don't recall him dating at all though my sense at the time was that he was a commitment avoider--that could be totally wrong--we always got along but I would not describe us as having been close friends.  So take my comments with a grain of salt because I have very little idea of what he was ever like outside of work.

He takes what he does for a living very seriously.  His FB page is pretty typical of a normal non-crazy right-wing kind of guy.  Lots of conservative memes but no hateful stuff.

If he is the person I remember him being, he will be a kind and attentive husband if a little rigid.  Other than the age difference, I don't find this odd and it doesn't creep me out.  She is definitely not marrying him for money.  I wish them both much happiness. 

 

 

Your description of him actually does make me feel better about this, actually. If he seems like a quiet, sane, nice guy who is not arrogant, hateful, or controlling, then that alone puts him ahead of other fundie guys that this site follows.  He sounds like he would make a better husband than someone like Steve Maxwell or Steve Anderson. 
(In other words, Steves are just bad news :-D ) 
 

  • Upvote 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

Upon seeing that thread title my first thought was, "Is there any other kind?"

Nope. I'm honestly disturbed by most every fundie I hear/read about. Huge age differences kind of weird me out. Like, yeah, consenting adults and everything, but it's very unlikely that a couple with a 30 year age difference are at the same place in life, or even have much in common..

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I said something similar in another thread (pardon the redundancy), but the age gap here bothers me less than a smaller gap would in a situation where the bride was younger. Amanda is every bit of 33. That's not old, by any means, but it's old enough to attain the maximum measure of maturity that her community encourages in unmarried women. She's known this guy for at least a decade, and they share an interest in music and (in theory) a closely matched belief system. Marrying him gets her out of the house, and gives her a chance at a different phase of life. They could have children, which she may want since she seems to love working with kids.

Amanda's home intrigues me because of all of the unmarried adult siblings, and the late marriage of at least one sister. I wonder if it's a situation where the girls simply showed no interest in leaving home? Her elder sister technically married outside of the family faith, so I can't quite believe that the parents have arranged these marriages or intentionally exercise that level of control over the girls' lives. In other words, this doesn't smell like Maxhell. Quiver Failure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, nausicaa25 said:

(Disclaimer: I feel like I'm following you all over the board disagreeing with you today. We're just on the same threads and keep running into each other.)

I wouldn't say 30s to 60s is a similar life stage (you're making me feel old!). Thirty somethings are typically beginning steady adulthood, having children, buying homes, going into their peak earning years. Sixty somethings are typically thinking of retirement and have children who are grown or close to becoming so.

Running into the same people happens sometimes.  No worries!

In my area, it's not uncommon to have 30-somethings with teenagers.  I'm closer to 30 than 40, and many, many, many of my high school peers have high schoolers themselves now.  Frankly, the thought of having a teenager myself freaks me out, but more of my high school friends than not have kids at least 13 years old.  Most already have homes since there are tons of USDA homes around here that come with almost no down payments, and monthly mortgage amounts the same as or lower than renting.  I'm behind almost every single friend of mine because I don't own a home yet, but I'm also not looking rural, so have to pay 20% down, and am still saving.  I could get into a home in January if I was willing to go more rural.

And retiring is something most of my friends don't expect to happen.  My spouse and I hope to get to, but we all know we will all probably drop in the saddle.  There's really not a lot of difference in the lives of 30-somethings and 60-somethings around here, and it's very easy to find people with similar live experience.   But there's still a big difference between us and early-20's and adult teens who are still finding their footing as adults or starting to pump out kids.

If you find someone in their 60's whose life experience is close to a 20-year-old, something's wrong, and if a 20-year-old has experience more in line with being 60, then that person's had a lot of crap they've had to deal with to have that experience already. And when you look at fundies, even young men as expected to do things not usually expected until later, like owning homes in full, while even 30-something women are expected to be as innocent and unknowledgeable and inexperienced in al ways as a child.  You get situations where a man who's lived life, had jobs, probably been around the block (I don't buy it for a second that a senior interested in marrying has never had intimate experience before his first marriage in his 60's), and is looking for someone who is mentally a child through deprivation of life experiences.  That's really sick.

 

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I looked at the Smith Family photos on their blog. The first picture to have Amanda in it is from 1993, and she looks 5-ish. She should be around 27 now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 minutes ago, CatNap said:

I looked at the Smith Family photos on their blog. The first picture to have Amanda in it is from 1993, and she looks 5-ish. She should be around 27 now.

Really?  It looks to me as if she is the fourth daughter and is at least three in the 1986 photo.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, VVV said:

Really?  It looks to me as if she is the fourth daughter and is at least three in the 1986 photo.

You are right. My bad. I looked at the number below the pic and not the one above... 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess the 11 Boring Fundies are getting a little spicier since I  last checked in:Bazinga:

 

Just read my old posts on these people. I used to be a lot funnier :my_dodgy:

  • Upvote 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/8/2015 at 6:00 PM, Coldwinterskies said:

It looks like both of them have an interest in music. Maybe that is the basis on which they ended up together, and I guess having something in common other than Jesus is more than a lot of fundie couples have. However, I would not be surprised at all if Russell decided to court her consciously or unconsciously because he realizes that he will need someone to take care of him over the coming years as he gets older. 

If he's mid 50s he's around my age.  My friend says guys our age are looking for a nurse or a purse. 

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The King of Hearts and I are getting quite a chuckle out of some of these assumptions about men in their 50s and 60s. :)

 

  • Upvote 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/7/2015 at 2:50 AM, AliceInFundyland said:

Upon seeing that thread title my first thought was, "Is there any other kind?"

Me too! Does this strike you as more or less gross than the ex hitman in his 60s who married his 19 year old pregger girlfriend (while staying married to his 49 year old wife).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, BackseatMom said:

Me too! Does this strike you as more or less gross than the ex hitman in his 60s who married his 19 year old pregger girlfriend (while staying married to his 49 year old wife).

Are you actually comparing a May-December (or to be more accurate, June-November) wedding between two adults, neither of whom has been married before, who have interests in common, the younger of whom is in her 30s and thus old enough to know her mind, with a bigamous and adulterous relationship involving a teenager?  Come on.

Edited by VVV
  • Upvote 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Count me in as someone who finds it creepy and a little sad for her in the sense that fundies are told feelings don't matter, attraction doesn't matter, women are flighty and fickle with their emotions...... Maybe she is really into him and wants to settle down and IMHO the more likely scenario is she feels the clock ticking and pressure to marry. This way of thinking never ceases to amaze me with how deeply these women follow the SAHD well into their 30's. I wish we could free all of them!

Quote

 

 

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, BackseatMom said:

Me too! Does this strike you as more or less gross than the ex hitman in his 60s who married his 19 year old pregger girlfriend (while staying married to his 49 year old wife).

There's absolutely no contest. This is, by at least the account of one FJer who has known him in real life, a mild-mannered awkward man who is engaged to a younger (but still in her 30s) woman. While the age difference is significant and the woman, in this case, is most likely sheltered, there is simply no comparison. The other situation has a perverted older man with a particularly dark criminal background and a teen who strikes me as more of a sex slave for this older married couple than an actual wife. 

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm another woman in a May-December romance, but I do see the possibility for some power imbalances here. I'm glad we have at least an acquaintance giving a somewhat positive account of the groom. This doesn't creep me out the way a teen/middle aged wedding does, but I do wonder how much free will and alternative choice Amanda has here. It may be a marry Mom and Dad's friend or live at home forever kind of deal. I truly hope not.

Oh, and the "nurse or a purse" person, really?!

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't mine age gaps in relationships as long as both parties are consenting adults with some life experiences. (IE not 18 year olds dating 40 year olds) and I don't think grey hair automatically = 60 year or older, but the photo of them side by side almost looks predatory. I would never think that if this wasn't a fundie couple, but it gives me creepy "groomed for older dude" vibes.

ETA also LOL that her biography on her blog says "she does not like the book Little Women." Um, okay?

 

Edited by HarleyQuinn
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share




×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.